Nicole [00:00:00]: Guys like Clavicular are making boys be like, I will never get anybody unless I do this extreme thing that's tearing down their self esteem because some random person on the Internet told them if they're not handsome, they'll never ever get a woman. It happened in the 90s with women via magazines because we didn't have social media. I remember when the Internet like became popular and there were, you know, like MySpace and things like that.

John [00:00:25]: Like it was actual social media.

Nicole [00:00:27]: Right?

John [00:00:27]: It was social media. Your friends, your family. It's not social media now. Now it's spectacle media. Right. It's influencer media.

Nicole [00:00:34]: It's like a TV show. It's like a reality TV show. It's not real.

John [00:00:38]: Exactly. Beyond the perfect we discover through our flaws we complete each other. Better than perfect we stay through every fault we find our way. All right, welcome back to the Better than Perfect podcast where every week we share with you how two imperfect people help each other grow equals one better than perfect relationship.

Nicole [00:01:03]: That's right.

John [00:01:03]: Yeah. So we're going to. What are we going to do today? We're going to talk about. Well, we're going to read a letter and email a question, but we're going to talk about kind of the state of dating and relationships today and kind of the future of them because there's been like a convergence of things that have come up. There's a Manosphere documentary. There is the whole. I saw this video. We saw this video on someone analyzing clavicular and what was going on with that situation and his meltdown. And then wait, side note, didn't he

Nicole [00:01:37]: kill somebody or run them over?

John [00:01:38]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:01:39]: Whatever happened to that? He's not in jail.

John [00:01:41]: I guess not.

Nicole [00:01:41]: So I don't think you can say kill either. On.

John [00:01:45]: That's fine.

Nicole [00:01:46]: We probably need to bleep that.

John [00:01:48]: Okay. But yeah, so there's just like a bunch of different things. Oh, and then I was reading what's his name. We've had his videos on the show. Orion Taravan. I forget what his channel is called. Psychs. Yeah, yeah, something like that. But he wrote a book called the Valley of Others which is pretty good. But the conclusions at the end were kind of disturbing about maybe relationships and marriage should change and it doesn't suit the modern society, which there's some truth to that and what we're seeing and the way that people are behaving. But I disagree with that conclusion. So we need to get back.

Nicole [00:02:34]: I'm saying. Yeah, because if you disagree, I'm probably going to disagree.

John [00:02:37]: I'M sure you would disagree with it, but let's start off with the email that we got here. So, got an email from Mario, and he says here, my name is Mario, and I've been following your content for years. I've learned a lot in the process, which I greatly appreciate. Just had one question in reference to your podcast. You and Nicole were talking about situationships and the captain of the ship talk. It sounded like you were alluding to the fact that when a woman brings the question of what are we? To the man, that's the cue to have that conversation. I was wondering, isn't it part of the man's job to initiate that conversation, especially if he's conducting himself in a way that indicates he's only interested in having serious and meaningful relationships? I'm not sure he should wait until the woman brings it up for him to have the talk. Nicole said on the episode as well, and it can create a dynamic where she'd feel that he didn't want to be captain of the ship until she said something. Just a thought. I feel if a man initiates a conversation that defines the relationship and its standards, it may make the woman feel more secure in it. Thanks for your time.

Nicole [00:03:43]: So I figured you would want to address first. Yeah. Because, I mean, like, I get. I think he understands what I was.

John [00:03:52]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:03:52]: Saying is that you can't. And I know that you didn't imply this, but to the average listener, it sounds like, do whatever you want. You're not leading.

John [00:04:03]: Right.

Nicole [00:04:03]: She says, hey, what are we? And then you're like, oh, let me tell you what we are. And. And like that there's this, like, disconnect.

John [00:04:11]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:04:11]: Which in the episode you said, you know, obviously you have to live your life in general as the captain of the ship.

John [00:04:19]: Right.

Nicole [00:04:20]: And so maybe you just need to discuss that a little bit more, because I get more. I don't really have much to add because I get his confusion. And that's what I was trying to kind of, like, figure out in the last episode by being like, it does sound, like, very black and white. But I know that's not what you mean, so I'm sure you can.

John [00:04:43]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:04:44]: Explain it better.

John [00:04:45]: And what he says is actually fairly tempting. Right. I read that. It sounds reasonable. Sounds like. Oh, yeah, it's a pretty good point. Yeah. It makes sense to me. But it is wrong. And I'll tell you why. Even though it sounds like the right thing. Right. The reason why it's wrong is for two main reasons. Right. So one of them is because in relationships, in human sexuality, women are the gatekeepers of sex. Men are the gatekeepers of commitment, right? So we've talked about this a lot, but just to rehash it for everyone, you know, it's no challenge for a woman to get sex. She can get sex from pretty much any man, right? Men have low standards when it comes to sex. They will have sex with a lot of women that they would not get into a relationship with, right? We agree. That's.

Nicole [00:05:37]: I don't know. I'm not a man, okay?

John [00:05:39]: But you've seen that behavior, right? You know, women, on the other hand, have much higher standards for sex, right? They will only have sex with men that they would. Would get in a relationship with that they would see as a. Like, it doesn't mean that they don't have short term, but, but they're not thinking, okay, this guy's hot, I'm just gonna have sex. They're thinking that this guy is the full package, right? They're like, you know, they're. They're more thinking that way, right? So. But a woman cannot just have commitment with any guy that she wants, right? She can. A guy will have sex with a woman, but it doesn't mean he's going to commit to her, right? A woman has a high standard for, for sex. So basically what this means is in the sexual marketplace, women have the monopoly on sex and men have the monopoly on commitment. Women are trying to get commitment from the men that they want to get commitment from. Men are trying to get sex from women, okay? And so because of that dynamic, you have to have leverage if you're going to create standards and you're going to create rules, right? And so the leverage that you have as a man is that you're not giving commitment away, right? So you have to say, in order to get commitment, which is what you want, I need these things, right? I need these. These are the standards that I have, right? This is the captain of the ship talk. If you just give the commitment and you don't have that captain of the ship talk like you're the one who's volunteering the commitment, then you have no leverage. So there's no reason for a woman to agree to what you want. The same thing we've talked about before is that a woman has leverage when she doesn't give up sex, right? So if a woman wants the guy to court her, the best thing she can possibly do is not give up sex, because once she gives up sex, then she doesn't have leverage because that's primarily what the guy is after, right? Most guys are after that initially, right? That's what they, they want. So, so that's, that's the number one reason why you just can't do that. Right. Also with that said is kind of what you said is that you should just be living your life as a captain of the ship anyway. So as soon as you're in a relationship with a woman from the very get go, you should be calling the shots. You should be acting like the captain, acting like the man leading where you're going. So it shouldn't be something where you're like, okay, now that you're asking, what are we. Let me, let me flip it on you. And now by the way, I'm in charge of everything. Like it doesn't like she should already feel like you're a man that she trusts that is already leading. That is, that is a non negotiable

Nicole [00:08:20]: dates and making the decisions and is

John [00:08:24]: the captain of the ship from the beginning, like he's already acting that way right now there's kind of the issue of okay, do you just lead all these women on and not say anything? Like, if you are looking for a serious relationship as a man, but then it does come down to as a man, you shouldn't be looking for a serious relationship. Like one should find you. Because you can't be looking to give out commitment right in the back of your mind. You can be like, okay, I want to have a serious relationship with a woman, the right woman, but you got to be focused on your purpose. You got to be dating different women, right? You can't put all your eggs in one basket as a man until you find a woman that you would commit to and that she asks you for commitment. That's when you have the leverage. That's when you can have the captain of the ship talk and that's when those things can transpire. But it can't work the other way.

Nicole [00:09:16]: Okay. I mean, I'm, I agree with you. I think you did a good job clarifying. Because I think the thing is that you can't have the captain of the ship talk if you're not leading from the beginning. And it's not going to look the exact same as in a relationship. Like a woman's not just going to blindly follow you, right? And everything you say and do on a first date. But if you take the initiative and you plan the first date, you tell her when to show up, right? Like those sort of things are leading the relationship in the appropriate way. In the beginning, like being reliable and like taking the initiative to plan the things and to show up. And when you say you're going to show up and those sort of things you have to have. Because that's the thing here, is that a guy listening to this, who doesn't plan the dates, who doesn't, like, you know, lead by example and doesn't do what he says, says he's gonna do and doesn't live from, like, his integrity, you can't. Then when she's like, what are we be like, oh, okay, well, I'm. You're gonna gotta listen to everything that I said.

John [00:10:29]: Right? Exactly. Yeah.

Nicole [00:10:30]: You know what I mean? Like, that's never going to work. You're telling everybody to do this. But the thing is, it's not gonna work if you don't lead by example in the beginning.

John [00:10:41]: It should just be a clarification. It should just be a putting into writing what was already understood. Right? So it's like, it's like the way that this should go about is you're dating a girl, you're having a good time, the relationship is starting to grow, but you're seeing other women. Or, or maybe you're not, but you're, you're not. You're not in the exclusive relationship. You haven't. You're not girlfriend, boyfriend, you have an exchange commence. There's no exclusivity that is expected. Right. You can tell. Even the woman doesn't even have to bring it up. Women will let you know that they want to be in a relationship that's exclusive. They'll ask some questions, they'll act in a certain way. It doesn't even have to be explicitly brought up. But when you know that she wants you to be in an exclusive relationship, either she does ask you or she says, what are we? That's what women usually say. It's like, or where is this going? Right. That's the point at which you say, okay, I want to see a future with you. I am looking to seriously, and I would want to be in an exclusive relationship with you. However, before I commit to getting in an exclusive relationship, before we take things further, take things to the next step, there's some things that we just need to make sure that we get straight that are important to me for this relationship going forward. That they're going to be necessary in order. And so then it becomes, then you put it into words to say, okay, I'm the captain of the ship, I'm a good captain. The whole speech of I go down with the ship, I put my crew first. But I need to know that if we're going to be in an exclusive relationship, that I'm going to commit to you and be exclusive with you and take this further down the road to marriage, that you're going to be. That you're in agreement with these things. Because I'm always going to be the captain of my ship, and you don't have to be on the ship, it's totally fine. But if that's what you want, is to take this to the next level, to not just be a casual relationship, and for this to be an exclusive, committed relationship on the road to potentially getting married, then I have to know that I have someone who supports me in this, right? Who is going to respect my leadership and my trust, because that is an important part of having an exclusive relationship in my life. That's how that should go about where it's not a shock, you know what I'm saying? Where you're already living that way. She's already understands that. But you're just clarifying just to make sure it's the same thing that we talk about even in that conversation. That's where you're setting the rules, too, and you're saying, hey, look, obviously we're not doing this right now, but I just want to be clear about some other things, right? So, like, can we agree that we're not talking to exes, Right? Not me, not you. Right. That's not that. We don't have friends of the opposite sex that are close friends that we don't, like, hang out in groups, that's fine. But we don't do things with other people of the opposite sex that we're not doing together. Right? Like, all of those things, we turn on our locations, like transparency. We have access to each other's phones and stuff. These are the things that you should be clearing up before you get into the committed relationship. And the man has to be leading that, and the man has to have the leverage to be able to do that, which means that the woman wants commitment. So she's asking for something and he's saying, yeah, I will do this. But these are the things that. That have to be in place in order for this to be because. And it's not just like, I'm holding this leverage so that I can be in charge and that she has to do what I say because now I have the leverage. It's about if I'm going to have this relationship be successful. Right? I've watched Better Than Perfect Podcast I know. So I need to have this structure in place, and otherwise, I don't want to get into a partnership that A sinking ship. I don't want to get into a partnership that's doomed for destruction. Because these are the things. These are the islands of. What do they call them? Where you get shipwrecked. The one of, you know, having friends of the opposite sex, of talking to your exes, of, like, you know, of not having the transparency, of not having a clear leadership and authority chain where you have responsibility without authority. You know, those. Those are the. The. The places where we can get shipwrecked. And I don't want to see that. So that. That's where this has to all come from. So.

Nicole [00:15:09]: Yeah, Yeah, I agree with you. But I think the most important thing is becoming a good captain.

John [00:15:15]: For sure.

Nicole [00:15:16]: Like, and I'm not saying. You're not saying that.

John [00:15:17]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:15:18]: But that is the most important. And that is what I feel like. Like, even now you're describing the situation, which I think a good captain, like you said, like, already kind of knows this. This is like, this is not something new that's going to be sprung on this woman. It's going to be more of like, okay, we're committed now, which means you're getting on this ship for, you know, for this voyage.

John [00:15:42]: Right.

Nicole [00:15:43]: You know, but I've already been doing these things, and now we're gonna talk about these rules, because I also think a woman should be a part of the conversation, even if the man is leading.

John [00:15:54]: Right.

Nicole [00:15:54]: Like, you know, she needs to put her input as well, too, which, again, I don't think a woman would disagree with any of the things like not having. And if she does, then that shows that she's not really ready for a committed relationship.

John [00:16:07]: Leonardo DiCaprio test. Would she do it for Leonardo DiCaprio? Okay, then. Then, you know, then she's.

Nicole [00:16:14]: Yeah, I would.

John [00:16:14]: If she won't do it for you, kick her out the door.

Nicole [00:16:16]: I wouldn't literally say that, but.

John [00:16:18]: But, no, you don't say that. But, like, that's the test, right? It's like, do you think that she would do this for a guy that she really like, her favorite celebrity, that she. Okay, she would want that if she doesn't want it with you. No.

Nicole [00:16:31]: Yeah. But I think the most important thing is being a good captain, which, you know, they need to go to probably your Instagram bulldog mindset or something to embody those things. I mean, obviously listening to this is good, too, but I just worry that there is a Disconnect. Not with this guy Mario. He seems like he lives from that place anyway. He seems just maybe unsure if whether he should be the one having this. Initiating the conversation or not. But I think you explained it well. But most men are not good captains. They're not. That's the reality. And so if most guys, when a woman's like, I want to be exclusive, and they're like, I'm the captain now, if they're listening to that, they're setting themselves up for failure. Well, look, like if you don't know how to drive a boat, you're gonna crash into anything.

John [00:17:22]: Exactly.

Nicole [00:17:23]: You're gonna crash into. You're gonna just. The whole thing's just gonna fall over.

John [00:17:27]: It's as much for you as it is for her. Right. Like, because a lot of guys, when I tell them about the captain of the ship talk and then the rules of the relationship, they're like, no way. No woman is going to agree to that. And I'm like, okay, if you think no woman will agree to that, that's the indicator there's something wrong with you. Exactly. With you. Yeah. Because if you're doing things right, a woman should agree to that.

Nicole [00:17:56]: Right?

John [00:17:57]: Right. And so it's a good. So. So by having that talk, right. It will prevent you from getting into a relationship you shouldn't. Because maybe you're not ready to be the captain of the ship. Right? Because if you say that and a woman is like, hot and laughs at you and walks off, good. Like you just saved yourself a bunch of heartache and time, right? Because whether. Whether she was not a good fit because she's not going to have any of that and she's super feminist or whatever it is, or she's just a reasonable woman and she sees that you're a fool and she's like, I'm not trusting you because of you. So either way, you've. It's good that that happened. You know what I'm saying? So, yeah, it's kind of like the other thing is, like, because you're asking for a lot of stuff, right? So. So like you said, there has to be. You have to be a good captain of ship. So for example, when you go to the airport, right, you're going to go fly on a plane. There's a lot of stuff they're asking you to do, okay. They're asking you to, like, show up, stand in lines, to like, take off your. Your stuff and have it. Your personal stuff, be X rayed and potentially searched through. Right. They're Scanning your body, right? They're, you know, there's, like, you have to go through a lot of hoops and then when you get on the plane, you have to listen to them and you have to, like, you have to obey the rules of the plane and all these things, right? If you didn't think that that air, that airplane was going to get you to your destination safely, you wouldn't do all that stuff. You wouldn't agree. Like, if they said, hey, we got to X ray you, and you got to like, you'd be like, hell no. Right? Like, if you went to a grocery store and they're like, okay, well, we're going to need to search your bags and we're going to need to X ray you. You'd be like, fuck you. I'll go to the grocery store over here. I'm not going. I'm not subjecting myself to all that shit. But you do on an airplane because you trust that it is a reliable service that's going to get you to your destination. So as the captain of the ship, you have to provide a reliable service that will get her to her destination in life. And if she doesn't feel like that's the case, she's not going to jump through any of those hoops. She's not going to agree to any of those things. But if, if you are the best option for her to get to where she wants to in life, in relationship, then yeah, then of course you'll agree to all those things.

Nicole [00:20:05]: Yeah.

John [00:20:06]: So.

Nicole [00:20:07]: Okay, I think we need to move on because we spent a lot of time on this. But. Yeah, no, I, I think you definitely explained it very well. I just don't know. Unless you have something else you want to add. I don't. So.

John [00:20:20]: No, that's it. I think that's, that's. Yeah, yeah.

Nicole [00:20:23]: No, you. It made a lot of sense. So you explained why that the woman has to initiate the first part of the conversation. But then you can lead from there, but you have to be a good captain.

John [00:20:34]: Yeah, but, but yeah. So getting into kind of the topic on, you know, just like the state of. I mean, we, we watched that thing on the Clavicular and it was like from Better Bachelor and he was showing some clips and stuff and just the craziness of. I think, what is the state of dating? What is the state of relationships? I think it's in a very bad place and a lot of it is driven by this insecurity. Right.

Nicole [00:21:02]: I wouldn't call that dating, though, or relationships. The only thing is the breaking of relationships. But I wouldn't call that dating. That is what the video was about. Oh yeah, that's just him picking up women. That's club culture. That's what, that's the situationships.

John [00:21:18]: But that's where, that's where dating is, is a, is coming from. Like, like what I'm saying is that for young people today, right, For a lot of people that are out there today, that's what they think is dating.

Nicole [00:21:29]: I think that's what it's involved evolved into.

John [00:21:31]: Right, exactly.

Nicole [00:21:32]: But we talked about how the younger generation actually doesn't want situationships. So I think that that's what dating has evolved into. But I think actually the gen younger generation is trying to go against that. Like I'm not saying that they're doing a good job because there's obviously still people that are falling into like further and further into this chaos.

John [00:21:55]: Right.

Nicole [00:21:56]: That dating has become. But I do think there are people that are trying to get it back to what it actually was rather than like what that video implied that dating is. And also I don't feel like dating is just going out to bars and picking up women. I know that it's. Yeah, you know, like you can't really call what a person with like an influencer or like a Z list celebrity is doing. That's not the same.

John [00:22:23]: But here's the problem, here's the problem. And this is what, what is exactly that word? Influencer. Right. So people are being influenced, Young people are being influenced, young men are being influenced, young women are being influenced. Right. And that's the issue is that what we're seeing is a result of that. So when someone like levicular goes out there and he presents this image that okay, if you look smacks yourself, if you're a good looking guy, then women will do all these things. They'll cheat on their husbands and their boyfriends and you'll have 10 women around you and it won't matter if you're an asshole. This is what it is. First of all, there's like there's two elements to it. So one is that it's not even true because they're not just all these women that he has around him are responding to his fame and status, not just his looks. Sure, the looks may have led to the fame and status or whatever or the message that he's preaching but, but he even said in that video on camera he's like, oh, if these, if we're not on camera and these women, I asked them to hang out they would tell me to get lost, right? So, so there's that element of it and then also there's the insecurity element of it, right? So it's representing that this is how all women will act towards you to young men. But in reality it's like it's the environment. If you're going out to nightclub. Yeah. The girls that have boyfriends that are at nightclubs, they're already cheating on them. They're already being deceptive, right? So when you pre select from that group of people and then see their behaviors of insecure people or untrustworthy people, and then you extrapolate that to a whole population, you've got a problem because that's not an accurate representation of what will actually happen. But the problem is that all these young men are being quote, black pilled into this because they're thinking, okay, I want to be like this guy. He's right, he's right. All this other stuff that other people talk about, about being valuable, being a man, that stuff is bullshit. All you have to do is looks max. If your face looks max, all you

Nicole [00:24:32]: have to do is hammer your face.

John [00:24:34]: If you do that, do surgeries, whatever, then I'm watching the proof of it because I see him live streaming 24 hours a day. If you live stream 24 hours, there's no cutting, there's no editing. So I'm seeing how women are literally acting towards him. I'm seeing it. No one can convince me otherwise, so it must be true. And I want to be like that. And that's the only path because everything else is stupid. Why waste your time developing other skills or traits or your character when women don't care about that? Because obviously all these women are throwing themselves at him. Obviously, that's the only thing that matters. You see what I'm saying? You and I know that's not true, right? But to a 14 year old, 15 year old, younger, 17 year old boy,

Nicole [00:25:20]: they shouldn't be on social media, but they are.

John [00:25:23]: And it looks true to them because they don't understand that one, women are responding because of his fame, not just because of his looks. And number two, the kind of women they're responding is the environment that he's going to where he's, where he's finding those types of women, right? And the ones that you're seeing are the ones that are responding to this, right? Which is all based on insecurity and is creating more insecurity, right? It's creating insecurity for guys. I mean, young men that See that? How insecure are they going to be after that? They're like, oh, I'm not as good looking, like nothing else matters. And that's where they're going. Like a lot of guys are going down that road and young women too, trying to get the attention of an influencer, being willing to do all this stuff in that example that they're, they're seeing. But it's coming from insecurity. And that insecurity is what's driving a wedge between men and women and creating like what you said is not even dating. Like it's, it's not like, what is this?

Nicole [00:26:25]: So I blame social media.

John [00:26:27]: Yeah, it is.

Nicole [00:26:27]: And look, I use social media, but I blame social media. I blame parents. Because if you're worried that your 14 year old is seeing this guy and saying, looks like only matter, why are you not having conversations with your kid? It's the fir. It's like one of the very first things that people tell parents is that if you don't teach your kid things, someone else will.

John [00:26:46]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:26:47]: And so what you just said just tells me that parents let their kids have social media, which we know happens. Like so many parents don't care what their kids are doing on social media. They just care that their kids aren't bothering them.

John [00:26:58]: Right.

Nicole [00:26:58]: And that's the wrong way to be. Like they haven't instilled things in their child. And yes, like that's not easy to do. You can't force a child to have confidence.

John [00:27:09]: Right.

Nicole [00:27:10]: Or self esteem. But if you're just giving them social media, giving them YouTube at this point it's all social media. Like, because even Pinterest, which I thought is just baking, recipes and crafts, is basically tick Tock Jr. Or YouTube shorts or whatever. Like it's the same sort of thing. Yeah. So like really no social media is good. And that's also why other countries have prevented children under the age of 16. Honestly, at this point I think it should be children under the age of 18 for sure. Like until they're out, like, and people will be like, oh well, they won't know how to handle the real world. That's not true.

John [00:27:48]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:27:49]: Honestly, what really should happen is no one should have social media, period. But no one should have social media until their brain is fully developed, which would be 25 years old.

John [00:28:00]: But even then, why, why rot a fully developed brain right.

Nicole [00:28:03]: At that point it's like, it's just

John [00:28:05]: like, it's not good.

Nicole [00:28:06]: It is harming us as a society.

John [00:28:09]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:28:09]: And I think that dating has spiraled into this because of social media, because kids are chronically online. These 20 year olds, they have grown up chronically online, right? And they grew up with the pandemic and like not getting to like graduate and things like that. And like, you know, being chronically online also makes it harder for kids to actually make like connections with each other. The fact, you know what scares the crap out of me is that, and this isn't even now, this happened probably five, ten years ago even, that kids would now say what they want to be when they grow up as a YouTuber.

John [00:28:51]: Yeah, exactly.

Nicole [00:28:51]: Yeah, that's a problem. That's a huge problem. And honestly, when we first noticed kids saying that, right, we should have realized that social media was going to mess up our society. Like, this is not a surprise, right? And now like the video that we watched from this guy don't even know who he is. But like, yes, he's trying to like examine society, but what it really is, is clavicular. Is so insecure, right, that he has gone to this extreme to make himself look attractive, right? And to try to pick up women to make himself feel better because he's attractive. Like, that also makes him feel more attractive, right? And then he just cares about money because in the video he's like, I don't want to live stream, I just want to make money. So like, you're also watching this guy who's blatantly telling you he just wants to make money. Like, I get that, like that's people's goal, but at the same time, like, you really trust somebody that's just like, I just want to make money.

John [00:29:53]: Right, exactly.

Nicole [00:29:54]: I don't. It's very. But. And then the women that he's trying to use are these girls because they're like 20 years old or younger and some of them aren't even 21. Like, I'm sure that like they have grown up where they have felt like they need to act a certain way, dress a certain way in order to get attention, in order to feel good about themselves. Like, that's not really new with women. But the new thing is that if you can be seen with a man that's an influencer, someone that's an influencer, then your level raises up and that makes you feel better about yourself. But that's not, that's just insecurity as well too, right? It is, but the issue, it's kind of funny because the issue that's concerning most people now, right, is that boys now want plastic surgery and to totally change the way they look. Right when that has been girls and women's reality since the 90s, since magazines came out. Men weren't men's magazines. Guys weren't like, oh, I want to look like this buff bodybuilder guy. Let me go get surgery. Maybe there were a few.

John [00:31:05]: Yeah, but.

Nicole [00:31:06]: But yeah, with women's magazines, it's always like, oh, she has perfect skin. Or she's like, so skinny. And I want to be like, that's been going on.

John [00:31:14]: Right.

Nicole [00:31:15]: But now that it's happening to men or boys now as well too, right now everybody's freaking out. But that's also why women, like, we are more insecure than men. Typically. But not really anymore.

John [00:31:29]: No. Yeah.

Nicole [00:31:29]: Because now we have this surge of men and boys that think looks are everything. And now they're getting plastic surgery and they're, like, injecting themselves with stuff and they're hammering themselves in the face, like, in order to make themselves feel better. Yeah, but what.

John [00:31:44]: But it's not gonna work.

Nicole [00:31:45]: Women, yeah. Obviously still haven't learned. I think that women are trying, like, I think as a woman, seeing some of the stuff, like that's why the body positivity and like, accepting yourself has surged. And I think it's a good thing. I think it's trying to give people self esteem, is trying to give women self respect and be like, you don't have to look like this. Right? Yeah, but now it's. Now men are upset because guys, like, clavicular are making boys be like, I will never get anybody unless I do this extreme thing.

John [00:32:15]: Right, Right.

Nicole [00:32:16]: And so that's tearing down their self esteem for no reason at all because some random person on the Internet told them if they're not handsome, they'll never, ever, ever, ever get a woman. Like, that's the whole reality is, like, it happened in the 90s with women via magazines because we didn't have social media.

John [00:32:35]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:32:36]: But like, I remember when the Internet, like, became popular and there were, you know, like, MySpace and things like that. Like, it wasn't about, like, trying to look the best or influence people in the way that social media is today.

John [00:32:51]: It was like it was actual social media.

Nicole [00:32:53]: Right. It was social.

John [00:32:54]: Your friends, your friends, your family.

Nicole [00:32:57]: Right.

John [00:32:58]: People that you knew in real life. Like, you shared stuff with them.

Nicole [00:33:02]: Right.

John [00:33:02]: That's what social media was. It's not social media now. Now it's spectacle media. Right. It's influencer media.

Nicole [00:33:08]: It's like a TV show, a reality TV show. It's not real.

John [00:33:11]: Exactly.

Nicole [00:33:12]: None of it's real. And so, like.

John [00:33:15]: But everyone wants those lives, right?

Nicole [00:33:17]: Because of money. That's the thing is like, like, even, even focused on money.

John [00:33:22]: Look at, look at the, the. The Mormon Wives show, right? Too, right? Same thing, right? All these women, like, that's why I hate the show and I won't watch it, is because all these women want to be like these Mormon Wives women, they want to have their lives. They want to be like them, have their lives, right? It's not a real life that real people live. They're not real people. Half of the shit is scripted, half of it is fake. They're destroying their lives, they're destroying their families, destroying all the people around them, right? In that chaos. But people still want to emulate that. Same thing with clavicular. Same thing with all these. Even in the Red pill stuff, the documentary we saw of the manosphere, into the manosphere. How many guys want to be the guys that are like, oh, yeah, I have a one way open relationship with my wife. She's got three kids. And they're like, oh, that's cool. That's not cool. And that's not normal and it's not reality. You're seeing a picture of this, but

Nicole [00:34:23]: you don't know what goes on.

John [00:34:25]: Like, it's not pleasant for that woman in that situation. It's not pleasant for those kids. It's not. You know what I'm saying? Like, these are not respectable positions. They're all feeding on insecurity. And so when you have a generation of people, like a society of people who are deeply insecure because of social media, then they will buy whatever shit that you're selling, whatever you're shoving down their throat, because they want some relief from their pain of insecurity. And they see their life and they're like, I don't care. Whatever the cost is. I want to be like, clavicular. I'll do whatever I need to do because that existence is better than mine. I don't care if people say that that's shallow or whatever. Like, he's got women and I'm never going to have them. Or they're like, I want to be like this guy. Or women are like, I want to be like these girls. I want to actually be. I want to say that I was with this influencer or I kissed him or I got some of his fame, right? Because women are seeking to be influencers. Men are seeking to be influenced. You know, I'm saying it's like it's become this thing where they're Believing all of these lies, that is not the reality. And that's. And like I said, that's why I don't, I don't fuck with that show because I like, I really don't cursing a lot today. That's true.

Nicole [00:35:39]: No, you know, you're right. And it's, it's sad. It's also why like everybody talks about how bad social media is for us, yet we're all still on it. Look, I watch it, you know, I mean, I try not. I do watch Secret Lives in One Lives because it's a guilty pleasure.

John [00:35:55]: This is the last season anyway. Because they're gonna take it off the air. Good rhythms to that crap because she, the one girl blew it up with the Dakota or whatever.

Nicole [00:36:05]: Taylor and Dakota, you know, a little bit more.

John [00:36:07]: I know the drama. Yeah, that's going on. But good, good riddance. So.

Nicole [00:36:11]: But I think too, if you can like responsibly do it, which is hard cuz people can still be influenced. But at the core of it is like everybody gets insecure. So also we can't sit here and be like, everybody's insecure. The thing is, like you said, it's a, it's a new extreme that we've never seen before for sure. And now it's happening to the men as well too. It's been happening to the women. And not to be like that, but like no one really cared when it was happening to the women, to be honest. Men were benefiting from it. They were benefiting from the fake boobs

John [00:36:42]: and all this stuff, if you can call that benefit.

Nicole [00:36:44]: But sure, some guys do like that. So like they are benefiting from it and that's why they didn't care. And also they're benefiting from it because if a woman's insecure, they're going to sleep with them, more likely. So it was never a problem until now. Men are now being influenced.

John [00:37:00]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:37:00]: And now other men are like, whoa, no, you don't need, you don't need plastic surgery to get women. Like, you don't, you don't need to be the most handsome man in the world. There are plenty of men out there who are not conventionally handsome that get women or have women.

John [00:37:16]: Here's the thing that, that, that is the most critical thing though that I think that, that maybe you're not seeing about this, which is that now. Okay, so there has been the black pill guys forever, right? Saying that you need to look smacks and women only care about looks right now. People like clavicular are the People that were saying, you guys are crazy, why are you doing this? Like you don't, you, you look fine. Like you don't need to like look smacks to like or get surgery. Like just be a man. And like those guys are getting black pilled, getting convinced because they're seeing clavicular live streaming 24 hours a day and they are saying, oh shit. Actually I guess those guys were right. Look at how women are responding to this guy. But, but I, I, I know that they're still wrong. Right. But now it looks like damning proof. It looks like, no, you can't argue against this cause he's showing you. I know, I know and I will

Nicole [00:38:16]: when you're done with the.

John [00:38:17]: But I'm saying that that's the crisis. That's what's happening right now. That is why it's a crisis, is because even the sensible people are now seeing this overwhelming evidence that shows that. See this is how women actually behave. This is how women behave around a guy that's really good looking. And this is how it is. And like you're seeing it live, you're seeing it happen. Like you can't deny it now it's not just someone telling you you're seeing it with your own eyes, live, live streamed right now. Go ahead. Because I know that's not true.

Nicole [00:38:47]: Yeah. From the one video that we're talking about, from what's the guy's name? That, yeah. Like the proof is in the pudding right there. If you watch that video, truly watch that video as a logical man, huh? Who's not insecure.

John [00:39:04]: Right.

Nicole [00:39:04]: Who's not, who has self respect.

John [00:39:07]: Right.

Nicole [00:39:07]: You would notice the part where clavicular himself is basically talking about how he doesn't feel like women actually want him.

John [00:39:16]: Right.

Nicole [00:39:18]: So no, I don't subscribe to. Oh, men see this and they're like, yeah, look at this. Because he's editing it. Because if you watch his full live stream because the guy put the clips in there.

John [00:39:31]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:39:31]: There are times when he is sitting there and he's depressed.

John [00:39:35]: Oh for sure.

Nicole [00:39:36]: Because this is not the life that's actually fulfilling him. Because women don't actually want him unless they're videoing. Because he doesn't know because he's done so much plastic surgery whether women like him. He doesn't feel like anyone really likes him. He probably doesn't even feel like his friends really like him. Because he probably feels like everyone's using him. Because he's built himself up into something that can be used which men don't realize like you, if you want to be the most handsome person, right? And that's all you care about to get women, prepare to be used more than anyone in the entire universe, right? More than women, more than any other man. But prepare to be used by other men, prepare to be used by women,

John [00:40:18]: Prepare to be used or have money, money, status, whatever. Yeah, you could fill in the blank there, right?

Nicole [00:40:23]: He has no.

John [00:40:24]: Here's the problem. Here's the problem though. 95% of men that hear you just saying that, that believe it, they're like, yeah, I don't care, I want it.

Nicole [00:40:32]: Then that's a, that is a huge mental health problem. But that is a self respect problem.

John [00:40:38]: You can, you can flip it. Even women, I don't care, I want it. Like you need to be, you need to, you need to have self respect. Don't just sleep with guys. Don't just like cheat on, on your boyfriend because you, you have a chance to be with a celebrity or an influencer.

Nicole [00:40:52]: Like that's the same thing.

John [00:40:54]: And then they're like, I don't care, I want it. I want, I want the opportunity. I would do anything to, to be with XYZ celebrity.

Nicole [00:41:01]: Then they have to learn the hard way. Like the reality is anyone who says that is immature, right? Who is so desperate because they need validation from other people because they don't give themselves any right, who has no self respect that they would sacrifice basically their entire life for a smidge of what he has. Or if you're a woman, something else. Like it's the same on both sides. I'm not saying that it's not. My thing is if you would risk your whole life for that, then you have way bigger problems, right?

John [00:41:40]: Which means this. You don't value your life, you don't have the self esteem. But what's the formula for creating those kinds of people?

Nicole [00:41:47]: Because being chronically online and then just watching all this.

John [00:41:51]: So, so this is where no self discipline. This, this is where the real crisis is, is that we have a, we, we have a formula for creating those kind of people. And we're already hit the point in society where more. Most of society are those people.

Nicole [00:42:04]: Yeah.

John [00:42:05]: Mo. Most of young people are those people. There's a small percentage of young people that don't subscribe to that bullshit. But the majority of it is that. And so that's where like we're going with the whole thing of like what is this state of dating and relationships and marriage today?

Nicole [00:42:21]: That's why people don't want to date on social media either. Like that's why people are trying to get away from it.

John [00:42:26]: But that's why marriage is at an all time low. That's why even relationships at an all time low. That's why like they're calling it the sexless generation where having sex is at an all time low.

Nicole [00:42:38]: Well, that's probably for the best. Well yeah, because then people aren't just being used because if they weren't indicated, then they're feeding into this clavicular thing. They're feeding into like using sex to get status or get right famous or whatever.

John [00:42:50]: It's an indicator of this, this problem of where like, of where our relationships right now, where is dating right now and where will it be in the future and marriage and you know, like all of these things. Birth rates are declining.

Nicole [00:43:05]: You don't want to know my opinion on this. On what you're talking about.

John [00:43:09]: On the, on what state of the world. Yeah, tell me your opinion.

Nicole [00:43:13]: The world is ending. I think this is the end of times. I'm not even religious, but I did have a dream one time that Jesus came. I did have a dream of the Rapture.

John [00:43:22]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:43:23]: He was riding on a horse in the sky and then just it was all over. But not kidding wise. I think, I think that this is like the build up where AI will completely expl. Like this will explode everything.

John [00:43:42]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:43:42]: And then I think after that with the USB or whatever or whatever our life looks like after AI, like completely takes over this world.

John [00:43:51]: What do usb. Universal Basic Income. Oh, okay, okay.

Nicole [00:43:55]: Are ubs. Is it ubs?

John [00:43:58]: Ubi, I think ubi, I get what you're saying. I was just like usbs, the usbs are coming.

Nicole [00:44:04]: Like my brain's not even on. But, but no, like then I think we'll get back to human interaction because I think people won't even want to be on social media because they'll be like, is this even real? You know what I mean? Like, yeah, I think we'll turn more to like plays again and like live entertainment, live music. Like I mean we still have these things. But yeah, I think that actually getting together will become the thing that we do because we can't trust anything on the Internet.

John [00:44:35]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:44:35]: Like we won't know where it actually comes from because that's my opinion. It's a little bleak. But honestly, you're over here, you're like, well what can we do? And I'm like, get off social media. But yeah, people aren't going to do that. I mean like Australia or is it New Zealand, One of those. Yeah, they did the limit for the kids. But really it's like, like, yeah, I'm sure that's not even actually stopping people.

John [00:44:58]: All the countries are going to, I'm sure that's going to follow, I would imagine. But, but that's not enough. It doesn't matter. Like it's like, but I mean it's like a post apocalyptic world, like your dystopian future, which you may. I mean it's going to get worse before it gets better. Right. Because people aren't even aware. I mean the thing is to bring awareness. That's what we're doing. Right. Is that to see what is the state of things and that all of this is driven, fueled by insecurity.

Nicole [00:45:26]: Right, right.

John [00:45:27]: Because secure people don't do these things. They don't care about an influencer. They don't try to like become an. Like, you know, the reality is as a man, like you only need one woman.

Nicole [00:45:41]: Right?

John [00:45:41]: You know, I mean as a woman you only need one man.

Nicole [00:45:44]: Right, Right.

John [00:45:44]: Like the, the superfluous, the, the extra is just insecurity. It's just, it's just insecurity. It's just what, where it's coming from. Right? You see what I'm saying? It's like.

Nicole [00:45:54]: Yeah.

John [00:45:54]: So that's why you know, got social media. Got to go back to the, to their religions.

Nicole [00:46:00]: It's social media and it's money.

John [00:46:02]: Yeah, yeah.

Nicole [00:46:03]: That's why clavicular is doing what he's doing for sure.

John [00:46:06]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:46:06]: That's why women, you know, go towards men with money. That's why women accept a one way monogamous. Like that's no self respect like you've talked about. Like oh, if you're high value man, like women will do things, they'll like be let a man be non monogamous. But that's just self, that's no self respect. That's not like acceptable. That's not okay. No, it happens. Right, but it's not okay. Like it's also you as a man taking advantage of a woman that doesn't have self respect. Like if you're a good man, right. You wouldn't, you're not going like you said with the guy that was on that Netflix thing. It's like that's not good for her. That's not good for your kids.

John [00:46:46]: Well, I was telling someone too. I forgot who I was I was talking to, but I was like, look, about that, about the one sided monogamy, I'm like, okay, if you were Dating a woman and she's like, okay, when we have sex, I like, if you punch me in the face, like hard, you'd be like, no, I'm not doing that. No, no, I like, I want you to do it. It's like, yeah, it doesn't. Like if you do.

Nicole [00:47:08]: Some people probably do say that.

John [00:47:10]: Yeah. And they do, sure, that's fine. But if you do that as a man, you can't hide behind. She said that like you don't do something to like. Or she's like, I want you to cut off my finger or whatever, you know, something stupid. Right. Like, and you do that, right?

Nicole [00:47:24]: You're not absolved of cutting off someone's finger.

John [00:47:27]: It's like you've still done harm.

Nicole [00:47:29]: Right?

John [00:47:29]: Like, just because the person is self destructive and wants to be harmed doesn't mean that you haven't done harm. So it's the same thing as like if a woman's like, oh no, no, I want you to. I want it to be a one way open relationship and I want you to have other women. Like, I want you to be free. I don't want like, like I'd rather just. Or even if she's like, I'm okay with that. I'm okay. Like, you tell her and she's like, yeah, to be with you, I'm okay with that. Okay. You still don't do it.

Nicole [00:47:56]: Right.

John [00:47:56]: Because it's the same thing as punching her in the face. Because it's gonna hurt more than punching her in the face over time because it's being a bad person. To allow those conditions, to allow someone to put themselves into that situation that you know, is not gonna be good for them. It'd be different if we are in the post apocalyptic world and a man has to have like three populate the

Nicole [00:48:19]: world that's like to.

John [00:48:21]: Because they're not going to be able to survive because you know, like he's, he's got the food and the resources and, and like, like, like everyone's dying and it's like he takes them in. Like that's a different.

Nicole [00:48:32]: That is point 001% of what could happen.

John [00:48:36]: I mean it was, it's been that in his. In history that has happened, right? That has been historically. That's why a lot of religious like polygamy situations. First of all, the idea of love marriage didn't even exist until the Renaissance period. So like when you go back into time, into history of religions and stuff, and when there was polygamy there, it wasn't like polygamous in the sense that, oh, all these women are hot and I like them and I'm gonna have a bunch of wives. It was more like an obligation or a duty and about procreation and children and sharing the. To build a household, to survive. It was to survive, right? That, like, like marriage up until the, like the Renaissance period was only about survival. It wasn't about love or sex or any of those things. Like, like for enjoyment. That's. That's how it was. So, like, polygamous relationships were there. I was like. It wasn't like a dude with like, like three hot chicks back. It was like a dude with like, you know, whatever was in the village type of situation. Like, you know, and everyone was. Was not. Look, they were looks unmaxing back then in that. In those days, they. They. They looked rough, you know what I'm saying? Like, there wasn't very many hot people walking around. There was no makeup, really. Like, there wasn't any of this stuff. And they smell surgery. They didn't even take a bath. They smelled. Right. So that's.

Nicole [00:49:57]: We're going off on it totally just

John [00:49:59]: to understand what the difference is. But anyway, like, yeah, we are. It is a pretty far tangent, but.

Nicole [00:50:05]: No, I get what you're saying, though. And, like, really, like, up until women could, like, divorce in, like, the 50s.

John [00:50:12]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:50:13]: You know, there was still that as well, too. Like, a woman couldn't have a bank account, so she had to find a man. It didn't matter. Like, it didn't matter if she loved him or whatever. But now, like, we get to choose, right? And we have an option. And it's like, now we've messed it up with social media because now people, like, are constantly starved for validation. They want to be influencers so they can make sense, so they can do nothing really, and live their life and make money. Like. And like you said, it's turned into reality tv because reality tv, in the beginning, we're like, oh, we're seeing real people live their life. And it's not. It's unedited. It's nothing. And in the very beginning, I'm sure it was like that. But now reality TV is not reality tv. Even the things that we see where we're like, oh, that's really messy. I can't believe they would show that on tv. That's like, that's all curated. And so is social media. It's all curated, right? And like. And now people are trying to live, like, clavicular, curated lives. Like, they're trying to make Themselves look curated. They're trying to make themselves. They're focused so much on their self. Like, self care has gone to a crazy extreme. Like, self care is like, you know, wash your face and take a bubble bath. It's not like now, it's not like hammer your cheekbones so that they're extra prominent tomorrow or go get like plastic surgery every six months so that you look the best. You know what I mean? Like that's. We've gotten to an extreme and we've said on here before, you know, that eventually you've said it, you know, in the future we're all gonna like look the same because we can all modify ourselves to look perfect.

John [00:51:53]: Exactly.

Nicole [00:51:54]: You know, but that's not what we're here for. I think the thing that like drives me crazy is like, well, one, a lot of this is fueled by social media. But the really, the root is money. Because people want to be famous on social media so they can make money easily. They don't want to work a job, People don't want to work anymore. And like jobs are leaving, you know, but also they're going to be AI influencers.

John [00:52:17]: Right.

Nicole [00:52:18]: As well too. You think that that's not going to happen? Like, of course, you know, like, everything can be taken away. But like people want the easy way. They want to be like, oh, I want to live my life and make videos of it and then make money. And we've seen people become influencers and make a shit ton of money and that.

John [00:52:35]: And it's not even easy. Like, like that again. No, people think it's like, no, video

Nicole [00:52:39]: editing's not easy or even just.

John [00:52:40]: Yeah, yeah, just like living that, knowing

Nicole [00:52:42]: what to content to create and stuff like that.

John [00:52:45]: It's not. But it's still a job. Like, it's still work.

Nicole [00:52:48]: It is. So it is. And I'm not invalidating that. But.

John [00:52:51]: But it's just people have a delusional fantasy of all of these things that they think that they would make this trade. They want to be like these influencers, whatever. And it's not what you want.

Nicole [00:53:01]: Well, especially women. Yeah, right. Like they think if they can be in close proximity to an influencer, then they will get that as well too because it's easier for them because they are, you know, men visually look towards them and want to look at them and then they want visually attractive women around them. So then women are like, oh, if I get around him and I'm seen with him, then I can be popular. Like, you know that. Like the thing is that people Just want to be influencers. They want to be famous. Because back then, like, this wasn't a reality again, back when, like MySpace and Stuff was out. Because even if you went on a show like the Real World or something back then, like, you weren't an instant celebrity. But now if you go on Love is Blind now you're like a low level influencer, like, celebrity, right? That wasn't how it was. Like, random people were not just now many celebrities overnight, right? Like, you had to be an actor or a singer or something. Like, you couldn't just go on a show. And people be like, oh, yeah. And now people are compromising their morals or their values or their integrity in order to get famous. So they'll go on a show and I'm sure that people will be like, hey, act like you're really stupid. And they'll be like, okay, yeah, I'll do that. And then, like, I'll get a million followers and then I'll make money.

John [00:54:23]: I mean, you just see it, like, even just like, look, people are just like, oh, this it's so crunchy. It's crispy. Oh, it tastes so good in my mouth. It tastes like, mm, I don't know. Mm. Like people are doing that, right? Like, anything to get attention, right? You think that's like. And it is, it seems innocent and it is as the watcher. Cause you're watching people eat food and like, commenting on the food they're eating. But it's anything to get attention on their side. They're doing anything. Like, I mean, think about the level of desperation, of insecurity you have to have in order to be so desperate to get attention that you want to be famous for eating food and talking about it. Like, not to throw shade, but that's the level of insecurity of those people's private lives. You see what I'm saying? We don't even think about it. But it's so extreme. Look, if you want to be famous for being a basketball player or exceeding at a sport or being an actor or actress or creating educational content to help people because you're teaching something, right? Great. That's a noble reason to be famous, right? Because you're producing something, you want to be the best at something. But to eat food and talk about it, you know what I'm saying?

Nicole [00:55:47]: But that's where we're at you because, right? Like, let's say you even get popular for something like that now you have to keep doing it, right?

John [00:55:56]: Exactly.

Nicole [00:55:57]: And if you don't get as many Likes or shares. Then now your self worth goes down.

John [00:56:04]: Right.

Nicole [00:56:05]: Or you're like freaking out. You're like, people aren't watching my stuff. Like it just.

John [00:56:09]: How can I do a more extreme thing? Remember that black mirror episode where the guy is like pulling his teeth out and doing all right to get money?

Nicole [00:56:18]: We are living a black mirror.

John [00:56:19]: It was, it was, it was a. Not an analogy. But it wasn't about. It wasn't trying to say that people would do stuff for money. It was for fame, it was for clout. Because like we're doing the same thing. Like in that, in that, in that fake world where you needed the money, like that was the reason why they're doing. But I mean of is kind of like that though. That is about money.

Nicole [00:56:41]: It is about money. It's fame and money. But with fame comes money.

John [00:56:45]: Exactly.

Nicole [00:56:46]: That's why it is money.

John [00:56:47]: Yeah, yeah.

Nicole [00:56:48]: But it's like. But people don't want to be famous without the money because then you can just. Then you just.

John [00:56:54]: People would do people when you have the level of insecurity. Yeah, yeah.

Nicole [00:56:59]: But it's never enough. So like you said, they keep having to do stuff. So like at least if they're getting paid.

John [00:57:05]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:57:05]: And they still like aren't fulfilled. I think they're not going to be fulfilled.

John [00:57:10]: I can respect more a person doing something for money than doing it for fame.

Nicole [00:57:13]: I can't respect people doing either stuff like clavicular for money.

John [00:57:17]: For sure.

Nicole [00:57:18]: It's like you're again, you're curating something. This isn't your life. You've had to alter yourself in a way where you don't you now you probably feel even worse for sure than you did when before you did all these things to yourself and you're still not happy. Like that's why money, it's, it doesn't make it better. No, makes it worse.

John [00:57:38]: It's a money. Money is a multiplier. So whatever you have or whatever situation you're in, money is like gasoline on whatever fire you're burning. So if you're addicted to drugs and you get more money, you're going to be more addicted to drugs. Right. If you're, whatever lifestyle that you're living, whatever it is, your vices, it'll multiply your vices. If you're a good person and you're already doing right things and the money can help you, it can become a multiplier for the good that you can do, the reach that you can do, but it's always a multiplier. That's what it is. Money doesn't make someone bad or like it brings out what was already bad in them, but it multiplies.

Nicole [00:58:15]: People are doing things that go against their integrity to get money in this day and age.

John [00:58:21]: Right, Exactly.

Nicole [00:58:22]: Like all influencers, for the most part have probably had to do something that goes against them in a way for sure.

John [00:58:30]: Which I felt the pull when I was, you know, building up my empire and doing YouTube videos for such a long time. Like, it's like sometimes you're making videos and you're like, why am I even. Have I lost the authenticity now? Like right where I'm just like saying some. Because this is what I need to say.

Nicole [00:58:46]: Yeah. Well, and especially like today, the things like that are negative or super judgmental, critical things about looks and like tearing people down, those are the things that get popular. Like this is all curated. That's what I'm trying to say is like social media becoming popular and like, you know, Facebook is probably listening to me right now say all this stuff. You know what I mean? Like, yeah. And like we're just, we're getting pushed further and further down that wormhole.

John [00:59:16]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:59:16]: Rather than touching grass more, you know what I mean? And like, and then kids are on this and they're like, I want to be an influencer, I want to do this. They don't even have like goals, right, to get a job. They just want to do social media. They just want to be on social media. They want to post whatever they can think of and they want people to tell them how good it is. Like that, like their whole, like, we didn't think like that back then.

John [00:59:40]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:59:41]: And like, yes, you can like detox from that. But it's like you have to help your child do that. You have to have conversations with your child and like you're like, oh, well, they're gonna go off on their own. But if you help instill things in them and don't let them just be wildly beyond social media all willy nilly, you can help them be prepared to not be controlled by social media. Because at this point, if you're not doing these things, if you're just letting your kid be on social media, you're like, well, they're going to be on it anyway. Like, that's not actually helping your kid. You're not actually setting your kid up for success. Like you're just making them addicted earlier. And then when they are on their own, they're going to ruin their life or they're going to be constantly seeking Validation from everyone else and doing who knows what, pulling their teeth out for money because they don't want to do anything else besides be on social media. You know what I mean? Like it's not, I'm not trying to say it's all the parents fault, but at the same time with the younger generation of kids, if other countries are literally putting in place a thing where younger kids cannot be on social media, they're doing that because they have realized the effect it has on that generation.

John [01:00:48]: Oh, for sure. Yeah.

Nicole [01:00:48]: And like I get to. Because parents are like, oh well, they go to school and other kids have it. Okay. But like that doesn't mean you just do it.

John [01:00:57]: Yeah.

Nicole [01:00:57]: Like that means that you have to up your parenting.

John [01:01:01]: Yeah.

Nicole [01:01:01]: In order to have conversations with your kid, have these sort of like talks and instill self esteem in them and still confidence and still self respect. Because if you don't, then you're setting them up for failure because you let them like willy nilly in your house, do whatever where they've been protected. Then you send them out on their own and now they're not prepared at all. Like they have no self confidence, they have no self esteem, they have no like discipline or drive to get an actual job or like do something for themselves.

John [01:01:34]: Yeah.

Nicole [01:01:35]: They just care about making money so they get on YouTube or do whatever or. The only fans. The only fans ties into all this as well too. It's like, yes, it's more women. I mean men are also on only fans, but it's more women because they're like, oh, this is an easy way to make so much money. Like that again is a form of social media. Like, and it's a way of just trying to accumulate as much money as possible. It's a void you can never fill. Right. Like clavicular will never fill the void. Yeah. Unless he accepts himself and loves himself. Same with women. It's like they'll never feel fill the void of, you know, using men with higher status to make themselves feel better. Like it'll never be enough. Like they'll keep having to try to find someone else or marry some popular person for money or their status or whatever and then they're not actually in love with the person. Like, like it'll never be enough. And that's what I think people need to realize. Like, and especially kids, like young people or like young adults, like even in your 20s, like loving yourself and having confidence in yourself and self esteem and self respect is so important. And that's not to say that like you're not going to feel insecure sometimes or you're not going to feel, you know, not the best, or you're going to make a mistake where you didn't respect yourself and you, you know, had something happen. But if you try to live from that place most often.

John [01:02:59]: Right.

Nicole [01:03:00]: Those mistakes will not break you back down to zero. So if you build that up really well, even if you take a hit in one of those areas, it will not destroy you down to zero.

John [01:03:11]: Exactly. Yeah.

Nicole [01:03:12]: So.

John [01:03:14]: All right. Well, that's it for this week. If you got a question for us, email us at betterthamperfectpodcast@gmail.com. check out the website betterthamperfectpod. Com, and we'll see you next week. And we find a way.