Nicole [00:00:00]: Men have emotions.

John [00:00:01]: I know.

Nicole [00:00:01]: Men cannot even have a flat lake of just peacefulness. Look, because if they have emotions as

John [00:00:08]: well as a man. If I'm living by myself, I can just have a placid flat. Like, I'll just work on my work for 18 hours a day. I'll just go to the gym.

Nicole [00:00:17]: Women think the same thing. Women think, oh, if I live by myself, it's just a peaceful life. It's just you allowing yourself to have your emotions and they don't disturb your lake. Each person is not taking into account their own emotions.

John [00:00:29]: But men generally want peace and women want bit of chaos. Beyond the perfect we discover through our flaws we complete each other. Better than perfect, we stay through every fault we find our way. All right, welcome back to the better than Perfect podcast where every week we share with you how two imperfect people helping each other grow equals one better than perfect relationship.

Nicole [00:00:57]: That's right.

John [00:00:57]: One green flaggy relationship.

Nicole [00:01:01]: I mean, I agree with that.

John [00:01:02]: That's what we're talking about today is there was a Reddit post that went viral on the R dating that was about someone asked a question of have you ever stayed with someone who was a set of walking green flags even though you're not that into them? So a lot of comments.

Nicole [00:01:25]: Does that mean married to them?

John [00:01:27]: I don't know if it necessarily means married, but I mean, the gist of it is like, okay, this person looks good on paper. They're everything that I want, but I'm

Nicole [00:01:37]: just not feeling it somehow.

John [00:01:39]: Yeah, there's no spark. They've got all these green flags, but I'm just not. Don't want to jump their bones type of situation. Right. So do you stay with that person even though you don't like, you know, you don't lust luft. Lust after them?

Nicole [00:01:57]: Yeah.

John [00:01:58]: Yeah. I mean, what do you think? First of all, I guess we could start with that.

Nicole [00:02:00]: I mean, I think that there's multiple angles to this, but I'll go. Based on what you just said, I think that two things can be true. Someone can be really great on paper, a really great guy or girl.

John [00:02:16]: Right.

Nicole [00:02:17]: And there's just something about the relationship that doesn't feel right. Like, doesn't feel like I want to spend the rest of my life with somebody.

John [00:02:26]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:02:27]: And I think that if you have that deep feeling of like, this is not my person, even though they are a great person.

John [00:02:39]: Right.

Nicole [00:02:40]: I don't think you should stay with somebody just because they're a great person. But something is missing. And I think that people Would disagree with me. Especially people who are like, you know, you got a good guy, settle down. He's a good guy, he's a good girl. What are you doing?

John [00:02:57]: Right.

Nicole [00:02:57]: And I get that part.

John [00:02:59]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:03:01]: And sure. I'm sure there are some instances where someone is with a great guy or girl and their reasons for not being into them are superficial or.

John [00:03:11]: Right.

Nicole [00:03:12]: Like, not really good reasons.

John [00:03:15]: Right.

Nicole [00:03:16]: But I also think that because I've been in this position where you can date a guy that is a good guy or date a girl that's a good girl.

John [00:03:25]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:03:26]: And there's just something about the dynamic, the relationship or just something in you that like intuition that is like, this is not my life partner, though.

John [00:03:40]: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I get that. Yeah.

Nicole [00:03:42]: You know what I mean? Yeah. So, like, I understand that, but I feel like you have to know where you're at. Like, right. Is this guy great, but you don't like his haircut or something superficial?

John [00:03:57]: Right.

Nicole [00:03:58]: That's a little ridiculous to me. Like, that maybe you shouldn't be with him because you're just picking him apart for these reasons that don't make any sense.

John [00:04:06]: Right.

Nicole [00:04:07]: But at the same time, I don't think you should stay with this guy even though. Or girl, even though they're great when there's something in you that does not fully want to invest in them. Do you know what I mean? Because, like, before you and I got together, you had told me you were like, oh, I just wanted you to find this nice guy to like treat you right and all this stuff. And I found good guys, like, in my dating life.

John [00:04:39]: Right.

Nicole [00:04:39]: You know, when I was dating. But there was just something that was telling me, like, I can't see myself married to this person. They didn't have this maybe so they didn't have rocks in their arms. But then when I met you, though, there was both.

John [00:04:57]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:04:58]: And so I was glad that I didn't settle down with one of these guys. Even though they were great guys.

John [00:05:04]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:05:06]: That part was missing. And so I can't sit on here and tell people to settle Right. When you can have both things. And that's not also to say that those guys weren't good guys.

John [00:05:20]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:05:21]: They just weren't my life partner. And maybe some people could say the same about me. Maybe some people are like, oh, she was a nice girl, but I just didn't connect with her. Like, I can't fault them for that.

John [00:05:32]: I mean, they were bitch ass guys though, because they dated my wife.

Nicole [00:05:37]: I mean, like, look, I don't care. Because the thing is, I can't feel that way about them and then be upset if someone felt that way about me. You know what I mean? Cause I can understand. I can understand where they're coming from. And it's almost harder to date a guy that is a really great guy. But. But there's just something that isn't clicking. That's harder to break up with a guy than to break up with an. Or whoever. You know what I mean? It's hard to not want to be with a guy who is a great guy or a girl who is a great girl.

John [00:06:08]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:06:09]: But that connection is just not there. And I think you can go about it in the right way.

John [00:06:13]: Sure.

Nicole [00:06:14]: Like, I think, you know, telling somebody, hey, like, you really are a wonderful person. I just don't think we have the connection.

John [00:06:25]: Yeah, you're a nice guy that I'm looking for. Yeah, you're a really nice guy.

Nicole [00:06:29]: No, don't say it like that. But see, you're. You're like discouraging people by joking about.

John [00:06:35]: Well, because. Because I. There's. I have multiple takes on this, right. So because there's, there's. I agree with you and. And I disagree. Like, there's. There's different pieces to it, right. So. So sometimes the reason why you have someone who's all green flags and you don't feel the spark is because you're broken.

Nicole [00:06:57]: Well, I didn't get into that part.

John [00:06:59]: Sometimes it's because you're fucked up.

Nicole [00:07:01]: I didn't get into that. I think that's a separate thing.

John [00:07:04]: Yeah, sometimes that's the case. Right. Other times it's because, like, as a guy, you need to have at least one red flag. Don't get all green flags. You need to at least be some. Well, let me put it this way, because attraction. You have to understand what attraction and seduction is. Right. It's just like we talk about. Love is a game. Relationship is a game. So you can't just lay all your cards out on the table, Right. If you do in there and you're all just green flags, it's a pretty boring fucking game. No one wants to play that game. Not very much mystery, not very interesting. Right. You know, if there's a little wild card in there, it's a little more interesting. I mean, you don't want to be like all red cards on there. But yeah, there's one that might be mixed in there. It keeps the game a little bit more interesting. Or you don't know what all the cards are. You don't know if it's all green flags. Like, if you think someone's all green flags and you figured that out super early, then that's a problem. It's going to fizzle, Right? So I think that there's definitely a lot of different reasons here, but when I coach guys on dating, one of the things that guys will always tell me when they go on a date with a girl is they're like, yeah. I mean, I'm like, well, what happened? Why does she not call you back? Or what happened on the date? And they're like, yeah, she texted me and she said there was no spark. She's like, like, it was a nice date. Everything was good. But. And I'm a nice guy, but there was no spark. And I'm like, okay, well, like, women are of the mindset that there's a spark or there's not a spark, but your job as a guy is to create the spark. Cause you're supposed to actually use your words and your game and your ability to seduce to create. You create the spark as the man, right? You show up, and the way that you act and the way that you treat her and how you talk in the conversation, what you talk about is what creates the mystery, creates the intrigue, creates the spark. It's just like trying to be like, okay, well, I set my cage out, my trap out, and the rabbit didn't go into the trap. It's like, well, you didn't put any bait in the trap. Like, it doesn't mean the trap is defective or the rabbit doesn't like that trap. This is a very weird analogy, but you didn't put any bait in that. That rabbit would like, or whatever you're trying to catch. You know, I have something to say, though. Okay, go ahead. Yeah, Yeah.

Nicole [00:09:46]: I think you're confusing. Well, here's my thing. One, I would never assume that a guy has all green flags. That's physically not possible. There's no human that has all green flags. And I think you're thinking of a nice guy who's pretending to have all green flags. Because the thing is, as a woman, you should know, right? No guy is going to have all green flags. I think they're talking about. He mostly has green flags. He seems like he'd be a good husband. That's what I am. Interpreted, interpreting. And I don't think we're talking about the same thing. I think you're talking about early on, nice guys who are trying to appear like a green flag. And they're not Being, you know, sexual enough or to cause that spark. We are not talking about the same things though.

John [00:10:28]: Well, they're related. They are. Like sometimes it's in this very big bubble of this topic of green flags and what could cause it. Like I said, sometimes it's cause you're broken. Sometimes it's because the guy doesn't know how to actually spit any game he's not.

Nicole [00:10:48]: Which I think those are the extremes though. And I think I'm talking about where you are attracted to this person, right? They. They do have the qualities you want in a man, right? But there is something in you that is telling you that like, this is not the person. That's what I'm talking about.

John [00:11:08]: There's an element of like the connection of like the soul connection or what? Like that's true as well, right? There's some element of that there some

Nicole [00:11:16]: compatibility on a certain level or something. And maybe it is more compatibility because I do feel like you can like admire a person and realize they have a lot of qualities you want in a lifetime partner and you could even be physically and sexually attracted to them, right? But that there's still this thing missing. And that's what I'm talking about. And I think that's what. I don't know, maybe I took it as. Because we've already done ones about guys who are nice guys and they don't know how to go on a date and they don't know how to like lure women in. I get that. I was not taking it as that. And then I know we will get into the toxic sort of situation because that does play as well too. But I do think that what I took from what you said is more of like this person. Like you said, is everything on paper. They. You should like this person. You should want to marry this person. Why don't you?

John [00:12:09]: Well. Well, you have to triage it, right? That's why I'm. Because you have to triage the situation and say, is it because I'm fucked up and broken? Is it because we don't have that soul level connection? Or is it because this guy is a nice guy or this girl, like, has no confidence or whatever it is, like, has no mojo, right? Whatever it is, like, they're fucking this up, right? So you gotta triage it and identify which of those three it is. Because it's one of those three is the issue. These two are fixable. This one, no, it might be right because we did the episode on arranged marriages, right? So you can build depth in a relationship and attraction, if you choose to. Now, again, you're just dating someone and they have all green flags and you've only gone on a few dates and there's no quote, spark. You're not having that soul level connection. Okay, move on, find someone else. Right. Unless you've only found red flags and this is the only green flag person. Then maybe invest and see if you can build the depth of the intimacy of the relationship. Because I do believe, like we said in the episode where we were talking about the arranged marriages, that two people can build something of great depth. Right? Sometimes you can get it from the beginning and sometimes you can build it.

Nicole [00:13:29]: I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm just saying unless, yes, that you're willing to make the commitment. Like an arranged marriage is, where it's like you don't care. You're making the commitment because these things, you're committing to these things.

John [00:13:45]: Right.

Nicole [00:13:45]: And you don't know if the lover is going to grow or not, but you're okay with that then. Sure, do that.

John [00:13:50]: Right.

Nicole [00:13:50]: But that doesn't really work in our society where it's really, for the most part. Again, unless you're committing like that on you to find both things in one person to find the green flags and that soul connection, the person you want to be with.

John [00:14:08]: Well, yeah. And I think though, that the thing is, is like, okay, if you look at a couple scenarios, let's say that you're dating someone and you've got someone that's all green flags and you just don't have that spark. And then you've got someone that's like mostly red flags and you got the spark. Right?

Nicole [00:14:27]: But you have to know what the spark is, because I think you think spark is sexual attraction. That's not what I'm talking about when I'm talking about the middle thing here. You're talking about spark as sexual physical attraction. When you're talking about the nice guy and he's just not cultivating that enough. And then that's why you're talking about it with the red flag person. I am not talking about sexual attraction.

John [00:14:52]: Well, if you're. Okay, if you're not broken in a sexual attraction way, then it will be sexual attraction. Right? Because the connection that you have with someone will determine your sexual attraction level with them.

Nicole [00:15:06]: So I don't know, maybe that's a guy thing. But like, as a woman, I feel like you can be sexually attracted to somebody, but the romantic, like, home life, like family element cannot align with that.

John [00:15:22]: I mean, okay, but this is where I was going with it, is that that can be true at first, but it will balance out over time. Right? So, okay, it's like the new car, right? It's like going back to my thing. You have the person with all green flags you're dating. You have the person that's mostly red flags, and there's the spark. Okay? You play this forward five years, even two or three years, but let's just say five years, okay, what's going to happen? This person that you had the spark with that has these red flags in five years, that spark will fade if it's just based on that, because it's no longer new anymore. You've seen their genitals a lot of times, right? Like, okay, all right, they could still be hot, but it doesn't matter. You're not seeing them as hot anymore. It's like a new car that is not a new car after five years. Right? Like, that's what's going to happen in that case. In this case, now they're back at the. At the green flag level of this person that you don't have, didn't have the spark with. Okay, but they still have the red flags, and this person still doesn't have the red flags. And so what I'm saying though, is. But also in five years time period, right, you could have someone that you're not as. Like, you don't have the spark with, but you build the depth of a relationship with, and now you do have the spark with to a very high degree.

Nicole [00:16:43]: So I'm not disagreeing with you on that.

John [00:16:45]: Yeah. I'm just saying, like, given the two choices, right?

Nicole [00:16:48]: Yeah. But here's the problem. If I had went with one of those guys, we wouldn't be here right now. That's my problem. That's my thing, is that. And you do have to be really in tune with yourself, and you have to be really in tune with being real. Like, is the thing that's missing superficial or whatever. That's a dumb excuse, right? But is the thing that's missing really important to me? Like, even though it's this intuition thing, because this person is a great person, right? And I am attracted to them in all the ways that you should be. But there's something missing. Like, I can't picture my life with that person in the future. There is something missing there.

John [00:17:34]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:17:35]: If I went with that person and did what you said, we wouldn't be here. No. And that's true.

John [00:17:41]: But you could have built probably, like, not anywhere.

Nicole [00:17:44]: Close to this.

John [00:17:45]: Okay, maybe not, but. But that's also because I'm also all in on, like, developing myself and developing our relationship as you are and having this. So we're. We're like.

Nicole [00:17:58]: And I know what you're trying to do, because I know you want more people to have the option. And I know what I'm telling you and everyone watching this right now is to go on a hunch, basically.

John [00:18:12]: Yeah. Yeah, I know.

Nicole [00:18:13]: But I don't think that it's the wrong thing to do.

John [00:18:16]: I have to believe what I'm saying. I have. Don't believe what I'm saying. Do you understand what I'm saying? Like, I. I, Like, I.

Nicole [00:18:21]: Well, here's the thing.

John [00:18:22]: Yeah. Because I believe what you're saying as well.

Nicole [00:18:24]: If you're not going to do the work on yourself.

John [00:18:27]: Right.

Nicole [00:18:28]: In order to be at a level to trust your own intuition about what I'm saying.

John [00:18:33]: Right.

Nicole [00:18:33]: In determining who your partner is. Do exactly what you're saying.

John [00:18:37]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:18:37]: Go with the green flag person. And you will develop that. Like, if you don't. If you don't want to put in the work and be the best version of yourself in this lifetime.

John [00:18:46]: Right.

Nicole [00:18:47]: And you don't want to trust your intuition, and you don't believe that. That you have a soulmate in this world. Do exactly what you said.

John [00:18:54]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:18:54]: And you should do that. And if you believe, and you've always believed that there's someone out there for you.

John [00:19:01]: Right.

Nicole [00:19:01]: And you have these people that are amazing people, but something is missing, and you can't put your finger on it, but you just. You can't marry this person because it just doesn't feel like the person you're supposed to marry.

John [00:19:14]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:19:15]: Then don't. Because I don't want people who believe what I just said to miss out on having that. But you have to be a certain type of person and do work in a certain way, like I just mentioned.

John [00:19:31]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:19:32]: In order to have the faith that you'll even get to that place. Because that's what it takes. Like, you have to be okay.

John [00:19:38]: Right.

Nicole [00:19:38]: With that. You're either finding your soulmate or you're

John [00:19:41]: not, or you're alone forever. Forever alone. Yeah.

Nicole [00:19:45]: Like.

John [00:19:45]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:19:45]: It has to be all or nothing.

John [00:19:47]: I think. I think both paths can lead to success. Right. I'm.

Nicole [00:19:51]: Yeah.

John [00:19:51]: You know, but, you know, it's. It's hard to say. Like, I mean, there's definitely on the path that I was. Which we won't go into that path,

Nicole [00:20:00]: but you can go on there.

John [00:20:01]: Was only one thing taking me off of that path and that was finding my soulmate. Right. Like, because otherwise. Because I met plenty of girls that were nice, that were attractive, whatever that. I mean, yeah, I don't remember them all, any of them.

Nicole [00:20:13]: You dated for a long time.

John [00:20:15]: Yeah, they were all ugly, but you

Nicole [00:20:16]: know, you were attracted to them at the time.

John [00:20:20]: No, they were ugly. No. In comparison.

Nicole [00:20:23]: You don't have to downplay them.

John [00:20:27]: But yeah, nothing was gonna take me out that path besides meeting you. Some of them were perfectly compatible. Would have been fine. But again, there was a way stronger pull when I met you that was unexplainable to me. So. I mean, if you encounter that in your life, then go for it. But also don't think, think that you can't build that kind of situation. That you can't build something really, really great with someone. Right. If you're dating some. I mean, look, if you're not attracted to someone at all and they just have green flags, okay, that's like you need to have at least some kind of a start, I guess you could say like some kind of a spark, right? Like there has to be some level of physical attraction. I wouldn't. I mean, yeah, you could have an arranged marriage and that could work out, but in the society that we live in, when you have a lot of potential options, there should be some level of physical attraction. But it doesn't have to be the most physically attracted you've ever been to someone. Doesn't have to. You know, I mean, that's a bonus if that is the case, like our case. But.

Nicole [00:21:26]: But I want to add though, even in your situation, you didn't give up on finding the love that you had always hoped for. And so that's what I'm saying. If you already have that and you've had that, then you should do what I'm saying.

John [00:21:42]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:21:42]: If you have never really felt like there's this one great love out there for you or whatever, or you don't believe in soul mates, do what you're saying because you're not wrong and you won't have a bad life doing what you're saying.

John [00:21:56]: Right?

Nicole [00:21:57]: I'm just saying I can't sit on here and not say what I'm saying though.

John [00:22:02]: Yeah, no, I agree. I agree because.

Nicole [00:22:04]: Because like, like that would be not genuine.

John [00:22:06]: No, and I agree, like I said, I'm 50. 50 on that part of it, so.

Nicole [00:22:10]: Cuz what you're saying is not wrong either. But I'm just saying if you do, do Believe in soulmates. You do believe that there's someone out there for you.

John [00:22:19]: Well, and. And you got to eliminate the other two extremes, right? So if you're up.

Nicole [00:22:24]: Well, let's.

John [00:22:25]: You got to figure that.

Nicole [00:22:26]: Let's talk about that side, because we haven't.

John [00:22:27]: You got to figure that out, right, because, like, are you just gravitating to toxic type of relationships that, like, that you're.

Nicole [00:22:37]: That feel comfortable? Because a lot of times you grew up in a chaotic situation.

John [00:22:41]: You need dysfunction in order to, you know, you got to, you know. And as a guy, though, you have to understand, though, too, that, you know, women like drama.

Nicole [00:22:53]: No.

John [00:22:53]: Yes. They like having emotion in their lives. Let me put it that way.

Nicole [00:22:57]: Like, that's way better to put it.

John [00:22:58]: Okay, Drama's different. I mean, okay, like, they're. There's. They're okay, they're similar.

Nicole [00:23:04]: But no, to a man, emotions are drama, but drama, oh, yeah, okay.

John [00:23:09]: To a man, man, emotions, drama, sure, I'll take that. But a man needs to understand that he needs to allow or inject a little bit of emotional spikes, what we could call drama into the relationship from time to time. Or a woman is going to get bored. So there has to be some. Which, again, that can be in a lot of variety of different ways. But what I mean by that is that you can't just be like roommates. You can't just be like, everything's going to be peaceful and I'm just going to do what I'm going to do and, you know, and we're just going to have sex and everything is going to be stable. Like, there needs to be some adventure. There needs to be some kind of things. There needs to be some conflict. It doesn't have to be bad conflict that turns into toxic fights, but there needs to be some conflict. You need to, like, if something you don't like, you need to say it and rock the boat a little bit. And a woman will appreciate that. It makes a relationship better, but it also creates a little bit of an emotional ride for the relationship because it needs to be on that path. Like a guy. A guy's ideal relationship in his mind is just a placid lake.

Nicole [00:24:19]: But that's not even realistic.

John [00:24:21]: I know.

Nicole [00:24:21]: It's not realistic at all, even for men.

John [00:24:24]: But a guy's like, I just want it to just be peaceful all the time. I just want to be able to do my work and just be peace. No drama. No, just like, just, we'll have sex and I'll do my work. I'll go to the gym, it'll be. That's. That's what a guy's ideal is. But that's not ideal for a woman. That sounds like boring as hell. Like, get me out of this fucking, like, cage. Right? So that's what I'm saying is men

Nicole [00:24:48]: can't even do that. Men have emotions.

John [00:24:51]: I know.

Nicole [00:24:52]: Men cannot even have a lake, a flat lake of just peacefulness. Look, because if they have emotions as

John [00:25:00]: well as a man, if I'm living by myself, I can just have a placid flat. Like I'll just work on my work for 18 hours a day. I'll just go to the gym. I'll be.

Nicole [00:25:09]: No, you think that women think the same thing. Women think, oh, if I live by myself, it's just a peaceful life. It's just you allowing yourself to have your emotions. And they don't disturb your lake. Your emotions don't disturb your lake.

John [00:25:22]: Yeah, you're probably right.

Nicole [00:25:23]: And that's why women think that the same thing as well, because men give women emotions too. Like, women are triggered by men. They're like, my life would be so much more peaceful without a man. They say the same exact things, but that's because each person is not taking into account their own emotions.

John [00:25:40]: But men generally want peace and women want a little bit of chaos.

Nicole [00:25:44]: Right, well, peace. Date another man then, who also wants peace.

John [00:25:49]: But that's just the general thing. So men have to understand that they have to bring in we're emotional. Yeah. That they have to not only accept the emotions, but also create some of them too. Right.

Nicole [00:26:02]: The waves.

John [00:26:02]: Right. Because otherwise you're going to be the green flag guy. I don't know why I'm talking about this one now. But essentially you're going to be the green flag guy. That's perfect on paper. That's like, bring him home to your parents and you're making good money, you're a good guy, good husband, good father, whatever, and just fucking boring as fucking hell. Like, I don't want to have sex with you.

Nicole [00:26:24]: Well, the thing is, I don't even think it's boring. I think that it feels ingenuine.

John [00:26:33]: I mean, but it could be genuine.

Nicole [00:26:34]: Who never has a problem.

John [00:26:36]: Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's what I'm saying. It's like, like you, you have to. Yeah. You have to have it. You can't be so agreeable.

Nicole [00:26:43]: Right, right.

John [00:26:44]: Like, that's. Again, that's coming into nice guy territory. It's like, why the guy on the motorcycle with the tattoos because like, okay, he's got a lot of bad things, but he has one good thing that creates attraction, which is that he doesn't give a fuck what other people think about him. And he's got some emotional spike to him.

Nicole [00:27:01]: But see, that adventure can be the toxic as well too. You can chase men, right. That give you so much emotional turmoil.

John [00:27:09]: Right.

Nicole [00:27:09]: Which again is usually like, learned from your early environments that that feels comfortable. Because the thing is, what people don't realize is that what we grew up in a lot of the time, even if it's not what we would want in a relationship, we gravitate towards until we break the cycle. Until we're like, no, I want something different.

John [00:27:31]: Right.

Nicole [00:27:32]: And so also too, as a woman, like you said, I mean, we're emotional, so we can't be expected to be monotone flat, like.

John [00:27:42]: Right.

Nicole [00:27:42]: Boring. You know what I mean? Like, we can't be.

John [00:27:45]: Placid is flaccid.

Nicole [00:27:47]: Exactly. So, you know, if you're gravitating towards this guy. Yeah. Who is nothing but red flags.

John [00:27:56]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:27:56]: You have to really look inside yourself and be like, why? Like, what is attracting me? Yeah. Like, is this chaotic, like, energy comfortable? Like, did one of my parents act this way? And like, I felt like I had to earn love from them and now I'm trying to earn love from this person.

John [00:28:19]: Right.

Nicole [00:28:20]: Like, you know, why? Why am I doing this? Or like, maybe you just get into a bad situation because, like, look, men and women can act like they got all green flags for quite a while. Long while.

John [00:28:34]: Right.

Nicole [00:28:35]: And then all the red flags start popping. Popping up.

John [00:28:37]: Exactly.

Nicole [00:28:38]: And you have to leave when that happens. And if you stay, then you're going to get stuck in that toxic cycle. But if you look at someone that you know, you are attracted to physically and sexually, and they're green flag. And there's a part of you that is not, like, wanting to be with them. That isn't the intuition, isn't the soulmate thing that I'm talking about. And you're like, it's boring. Really? The key is if you say it's boring, you have toxic problems. I don't know anyone that would call a relationship boring, that does not have an addiction to the highs and lows of a toxic cycle.

John [00:29:21]: I would. Yeah, I agree.

Nicole [00:29:21]: Because even when I said that I had met these other guys that I was attracted to and they were, you know, green flags at the time, I would never call them boring. It wasn't because the relationship was boring. It was because this thing was Missing. I wasn't like they were boring, they were boring me. Whatever. Like if you say boring, right. You are craving that high and low.

John [00:29:43]: Right.

Nicole [00:29:43]: Emotional roller coaster, which is toxic, which is not secure.

John [00:29:47]: Right.

Nicole [00:29:48]: Which is not stable.

John [00:29:49]: Right.

Nicole [00:29:49]: Which is not sustainable.

John [00:29:51]: Right, exactly. And, and I think it's like you can, I mean you can kind of sort it out by, by figuring out, okay, do they have green flags? Right. And am I attracted to them? But they won't spit in my mouth and slap me in the face.

Nicole [00:30:08]: What.

John [00:30:08]: So like, you see what I'm saying? It's like that's okay, that's when you're on the talk. Like that's, you know, I'm saying like they're, there's. They're not, they're not abusing you in some way. Right.

Nicole [00:30:17]: Are people breaking up with people for that specific reason?

John [00:30:21]: I'm just using that as an extreme example. It highlights a deficiency in yourself if you want to be degraded or abused. Right. Which does not just exist in the bedroom, contrary to most people's opinions. Right. So if you want to be degraded in the bedroom in that way, I'm not saying that you can't be submissive and someone can be dominant. I'm not saying that, but I'm saying degraded, actually physically degraded. Then you want to be mentally degraded too. So you're looking for red flags because you're attracted to those because you lack self esteem. Right. So then you know that the problem is you. This is not that like the guy is attractive, he's doesn't like, he doesn't have the deficiency of. He does have the charm, he does have the game, whatever. He is a mystery. But he's just not abusive. Right. Like that's. Then the deficiency is, is you then, then what do you do in that situation? Well, you got to fix yourself.

Nicole [00:31:14]: Yeah.

John [00:31:15]: Because nothing. If you find someone else, you're not going to find, you know, like, and you're not going to someone that just has red flags. You're not going to build a relationship with them or you're not going to build a relationship with anyone. If you have such a low esteem that you need to be abused and defiled in the relationship in order to like to want to be in it.

Nicole [00:31:34]: Because honestly, the green flag person that is with someone like you're talking about, you should thank them for leaving. You should thank them for calling you boring and getting out of there because you would have been in for a real wham, dinger of a time if you.

John [00:31:50]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:31:51]: Are having to correct this Behavior, it's not like it's not possible. But that person, the toxic person still has to choose you for it to be possible. If they're calling you boring, you cannot like force your green flags upon this person and heal them.

John [00:32:06]: Well now there is like for, for men like dealing with the woman like that. There is ways to deal with it that, that, that are skillfully. Like if you want to even deal with this kind of person that can create the attraction where she doesn't run away, but doesn't mean you have to be psycho and abusive and red flags.

Nicole [00:32:31]: Don't you want to be with a person who calls you boring?

John [00:32:34]: You got to be in that situation. You have to be the father figure that that woman hasn't had. You have to be very much like drawing boundaries, drawing lines. Like giving her a very clear sense of authority and not tolerating any of her bullshit. Like completely drawing away whenever she does any kind of bullshit. Right. Like because that, because that's what she's looking for and she's finding it in those men that are, have red flags because they are giving her a sense of authority and dominance that she's missing from her life. Usually father daddy issues. But you can do that in a non toxic way. Now whether you want to rehabilitate someone like that and invest in that, I suppose if you have the connection, the soulmate connection and you decide that that's what you want to pursue, I don't

Nicole [00:33:22]: think that would be a soulmate connection.

John [00:33:24]: It can be dealt with in that way and that person can change and can learn to appreciate that because it's what so all of these deficiencies, like the toxic deficiencies that people have come from needs that aren't being met. Right. So when you talk about daddy issues, it's like a woman that has daddy issues generally is very. What is the word? I want to say, not loose. What's the word for being promiscuous? Promiscuous is generally very. Promiscuous generally is going to be like body mutilation to herself like tattoos, piercings, those type of things and is going to potentially be on the wanting to be abused or mistreated or dominated. So those are the bad side of it. But in reality, what is that person really wanting? They're wanting a clear authority and real boundaries in a relationship. Like they're wanting direction. They're wanting to have someone who loves them and disciplines them. Like in a way that like going back to their childhood. That is not punishment, that is not punitive, that is not like, like, like that is able to guide them. Like they're, they're missing something in their life that, that, that, like, that that needs to be fulfilled. Right? The same thing with someone who's a pushover, who's super nice. Like all of these things, there's a dark side and there's a good side to these deficiencies that we have.

Nicole [00:35:08]: I wouldn't call tattoos and piercings daddy

John [00:35:11]: issues, but, but that's generally where those women, like, not everyone who has tattoos and piercings has daddy issues, but most women that have. Or most women with daddy issues have tattoos and piercings. Right? Like, do you understand what I'm saying? I'm not saying that everyone who has them has that issues, but it's also a hallmark sign of it.

Nicole [00:35:33]: I mean, I think like you said, there's a lot, I wouldn't even classify a lot of the things that you said as daddy issues or not, because I think that women can have mommy issues. They can have daddy issues. They could have mommy and daddy issues.

John [00:35:48]: Right?

Nicole [00:35:49]: And men can do the same. Men have the same sort of problems, just in different looks a different way.

John [00:35:54]: Right? It looks a different way.

Nicole [00:35:55]: The thing is that, look, if you are a man who wants to take on a woman like that, more power to you. But you need to know, right, you probably will not be the end game. If she's so far over here, you will rehabilitate her for some other man and you need to be okay with that.

John [00:36:11]: Exactly.

Nicole [00:36:12]: That's the reality. Because you telling a man to go like that, he can take a chance on that woman and try to rehabilitate.

John [00:36:19]: No, no, I'm telling him to go away, run away.

Nicole [00:36:21]: That's what you should say. Because sure, he can take that on, but it needs to be a charity case. Like, I'm sorry. And that's the same for women. Like, you know, if there's some. You're a green flag girl and there's a red flag guy and you're like, I can change him. Realize that you probably won't, but you can try and he might be a little bit better for the next person. That's all you can hope for, right? But if it's so far in the other direction, you're probably not getting them to where you would like them to be in order to have a relationship with them. Now, will you have helped them on their journey to whoever they're supposed to be with? Yeah. Will you have helped them learn? Because honestly, a lot of times those people on those opposite spectrums need to Lose somebody that does show up for them and does invest in them and does help them. They need to lose that person in order for a lot of those things to stick and in order for them to heal.

John [00:37:14]: Exactly.

Nicole [00:37:14]: But that's a choice that you have to make.

John [00:37:18]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:37:18]: I don't recommend with knowledge in mind of that you can't fix somebody.

John [00:37:24]: Right.

Nicole [00:37:25]: You can try, but you can't fix somebody.

John [00:37:27]: No.

Nicole [00:37:28]: And usually someone that's on the opposite spectrum of where you're at.

John [00:37:34]: Right.

Nicole [00:37:35]: If you're going to get involved in that, seriously, you have to know that that is probably not going to end well.

John [00:37:41]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:37:41]: And honestly though, I'm not saying that to like, run away from everything because have I been in relationships that were not good? Yes. Have you been in relationships that were not good? Yes. Like, I don't know anyone who hasn't been in a relationship that was not good. So I'm not sitting here saying to avoid all red flags.

John [00:38:00]: Right.

Nicole [00:38:01]: Because we learn a lot. Like, I said the same thing from like the people that we were talking about. I do feel like you have to have something good sometimes when you're so far on the toxic side that you realize, oh, crap, no, like, I want someone like this and I messed it up and, you know, I want to do better and I want to be the type of partner that I want.

John [00:38:23]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:38:24]: And so I'm not saying that everything has to be perfect, but you have to be realistic. And we all have some toxic parts of us or red flag parts of us. Maybe not toxic, but you know what I mean? Like, we all have red flags for sure. That's why in the beginning when you were acting like this guy is no red flags. I'm like, that's not even possible.

John [00:38:45]: It's not possible. But it's like. But, but you can have like, you know, minimal red flags.

Nicole [00:38:51]: Yeah, but still. Still, it's like, yeah, normally too. It's like, well, let's see, in six months, if you still have minimal red

John [00:38:59]: flags, so you have that side of the equation too, then like someone, like on a guy, it's usually going to be a guy that's a nice guy. Right. That's like he's got all the green flags on paper. Right. Like all the things, checks, all the boxes, but he doesn't have the spark because he doesn't know how to create the spark because he did. Well, again, it comes down to that, that matrix that they have of like, of the four types of guys, right. So you have two axises. One of them is Caring about people versus not caring about people. And the other one is caring about what people think about you versus not caring about what people think about you, right? And what's attractive to women is guys that don't care what people think about them. It doesn't matter.

Nicole [00:39:39]: But they care about people.

John [00:39:40]: No, it doesn't matter if you care about people or not care about people. Women will be attracted to you if you don't care what people think about you.

Nicole [00:39:47]: Oh. Cause the asshole in the.

John [00:39:49]: Right. So if you don't care about people and you're a jerk, you know you're an asshole, then women are still gonna be attracted to you, right? But you're an asshole. You're a bunch of red flags, right? But you can be a guy who I call a gentleman who cares about people, but doesn't care what other people think. It's just that it's extremely rare. And that's where you're gonna have green flags, right? But you're also going to have the spark element, right?

Nicole [00:40:17]: Because you're not a people pleaser.

John [00:40:20]: Because not caring about what other people think about you is a real panty dropper, right? Like, that's what you gotta have. That's. That's the thing. That's why the. The assholes, the tattoos and the motorcycles, the red flag guys, those guys usually have more women because that is emanating that aura of I don't care what other people think about it. Like, the rebel is literally saying, I don't care what other people think about me. I'm. I'm. I'm beating to the own. My own drum. What is it? Beating my own drum to the beat

Nicole [00:40:49]: of my own drum.

John [00:40:50]: Marching to the beat of my own drum. That's. But wait, my drum. Whatever. Be my drumstick.

Nicole [00:40:56]: Motorcycle tattoo guys have daddy issues?

John [00:41:00]: Not necessarily. No, no, no.

Nicole [00:41:01]: Like tattoos and piercings equals daddy issues.

John [00:41:05]: Like, how does daddy issues exhibit in guys? Guys more have mommy issues than daddy issues, right?

Nicole [00:41:11]: What do tattoos.

John [00:41:13]: An absent father. I guess that's kind of it. Like most guys psychological problems is absent father. They grew up in. Their father left and they grew up in a female household, right. So that creates. Usually they're more people pleasers.

Nicole [00:41:29]: In that case, tattoos and piercings equal daddy issues.

John [00:41:31]: Or are they? Like I said, for women. Yeah, it's not the same for me. No, it's not the same. It's not the same. But I mean, there's some dysfunction there, right? Like if you don't care about people, you don't care what people think. There's some dysfunction there. Like, what's the dysfunction there? There's something going on there. Why you have to rebel for the, the sake of rebelling, right? Like it's an, it's an attention thing. It's like you know something or you're, you're getting.

Nicole [00:42:00]: You have a tattoo, so you have daddy issues.

John [00:42:02]: That's true.

Nicole [00:42:05]: I just feel like that one was so blanket statement when you said it.

John [00:42:09]: Like, I'm talking about tatted up all over and lots of piercings. I'm not talking about you have one tattoo or two tattoos or whatever. A couple tattoos, right? I'm talking about like you got a bunch of.

Nicole [00:42:19]: How does that translate?

John [00:42:20]: Huh?

Nicole [00:42:21]: How does what you're saying?

John [00:42:22]: Because it is like, how does it translate into daddy issues? Yeah, it's like it shows a lack of self respect for yourself, a lack of esteem for yourself. Right. To desecrate your body to that degree.

Nicole [00:42:41]: I think it's more rebellion thing as well.

John [00:42:45]: But that's where. Why would you do those things when you're doing things for outward appearance? Just to show that, that you don't care. That shows you do care the most. Right? Like that's where those, those come from. So it's like, again, I'm not saying that. That's why I didn't say that all category of people, like, I didn't say that everyone who has tattoos and piercings has daddy issues, but I said that most women who have daddy issues do have them.

Nicole [00:43:12]: I just don't get how it's a woman specific problem. And also like, a lot of people like to talk about women that have daddy issues, but then like, no one talks about dads causing issues. You know what I mean?

John [00:43:25]: Dad's caused issues. That's where daddy issues come from.

Nicole [00:43:28]: Right? So like, yeah. How. I mean, that could be a whole nother episode. And maybe we should do that because like everyone talks about women and their daddy issues, but no one talks about how dads can fix these issues.

John [00:43:39]: That's true. That's a good episode.

Nicole [00:43:41]: So that'll have to be one of our, our episodes coming up. Because. But sorry, sidetracked.

John [00:43:47]: But yeah, no, but the point I was making is that a guy can have not care what other people think about him. Right? And care about people and still have women be attractive. He can still have the green flags, right? A lot of times the guy with all the green flags cares what people think about him. That's why he has the green flags. Because the reason why he has the green flags is the reason why he's such a respectable young man is because he cares so much what other people think about him that he's got to be straight laced. He has to be a people pleaser. He has to check all the boxes to make sure that he's a nice guy and he treats people respectfully and he gets a good job and he does all the things he's supposed to do which give him all the, be a good father, be a good husband. Right? But he's doing all those things not because that's who he is, it's because he wants to be liked. And that's where that comes from. I would say a majority of the cases where someone's like, oh, they have all green flags and there's no spark is that situation is the guy is a nice guy, he cares too much about what people think about him. And that's where that comes from. That's why I would say, because again, guys are not usually gonna be like, oh, she has all green flags. And they're like, she's hot or she's not hot. Like that's, that's A guy's assessment of a woman when he's dating a woman is like, yeah, a majority.

Nicole [00:45:11]: That's horrible.

John [00:45:11]: I, I know, but that's a majority. Like most guys aren't going to complain about that. Yeah, look, there's depth as you date a woman that you should.

Nicole [00:45:17]: And men run our country and their whole thing with dating is, are you hot or not? And women are over here, like, what does he like to do? Where does he work? What is he doing? And guys are just like, are you hot or not? Or you're hot.

John [00:45:30]: It has to do with biology.

Nicole [00:45:31]: I'll marry you.

John [00:45:32]: I guess with parental investment, right? A woman investing in sexual reproductive. I mean, we didn't have birth control and condoms and stuff for most of society, right. Most of the history. And so a woman who has sex with a man, right, she is making a nine month investment and now has a child to take care of. Whereas a man who has sex with a woman, he's making a five minute investment. Exactly. And, and that's it. And he can go have sex with another woman and another woman, he doesn't have to make a big investment. So his evaluation of sexual compatibility is hot or not. A woman's evaluation of sexual compatibility is good genes, but also not just attractive genes. But like, is this guy, does he have the provisions to handle a family? Is he mentally stable? Is like all of these elements that she has to determine in order to Say this guy is worthy of having sex with.

Nicole [00:46:34]: Yeah. You know what? All of this has just made me realize that we need, like, a rehabilitation center for all men. For the daddy issues, for them being able to pick a partner, for them being able to control their brain in their pants.

John [00:46:50]: You can't change biology, though. So you have to adapt to the biology of the situation. I mean, women have their own biological issues that.

Nicole [00:47:00]: Cause men haven't adapted to anything. They're like, well, she's hot. I'll marry her.

John [00:47:07]: Yeah, but. But women also, like. Like, you know, will in many times choose a guy to have sex.

Nicole [00:47:18]: Even choosing guys anymore. They'd rather be alone.

John [00:47:21]: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nicole [00:47:22]: Like, and men are lonelier than ever.

John [00:47:24]: Yeah, yeah.

Nicole [00:47:26]: So the rehabilitation center, maybe that's. You know what? Maybe we won't do the podcast. Maybe we'll open a men rehabilitation center. The one guy wanted us to write a book. I think we should open a center.

John [00:47:43]: Okay.

Nicole [00:47:45]: They're gonna be like, it's giving cult. Like, she's opening a center.

John [00:47:48]: Yeah. Will just indoctrinate men. What about the women? Rehabilitated.

Nicole [00:47:57]: We got to work on the men first, then we'll work on the women.

John [00:48:00]: Influence the women through the men.

Nicole [00:48:03]: Look, the men. Men are in short supply. The real men.

John [00:48:08]: True.

Nicole [00:48:09]: So we'll work on that, then. We'll work on that.

John [00:48:12]: Yeah. Well, women are more easily molded by a good man.

Nicole [00:48:15]: So women want a good man.

John [00:48:17]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:48:18]: Women have had to get to where they're at today.

John [00:48:20]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:48:21]: Because the good men are dwindling.

John [00:48:23]: That's true.

Nicole [00:48:24]: Like, this is what men need to realize. Like, go watch all of our videos and realize that if you get your stuff together, which, like, I'm not saying, like you're saying you got to be. You can't be just green flags. Can't be a people pleaser. You can't be, like, pretending you're all green flags, because that's obviously not going to work.

John [00:48:42]: Right.

Nicole [00:48:42]: But you know, a woman is looking for a good man, and if she calls you boring, she has a problem.

John [00:48:49]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:48:49]: Not you. But don't be a good woman.

John [00:48:52]: You got to not be boring though, too. Right? Like, you got to have.

Nicole [00:48:56]: But there's someone for everyone. You know what I mean? Like, there's someone for everyone. Like, maybe a more quiet, boring woman wants a more quiet, boring man.

John [00:49:04]: Now, the women want what women want and men want what men want. And it's. You know, I'm not saying there's not some variations, but it's pretty universal.

Nicole [00:49:16]: I don't know, that sounds like biology. Sounds like one of those pill talks to me.

John [00:49:20]: Hey, the biology determines it. It is true. You know, there's definitely, like, oddballs, but for the most part, that's true. So. All right. But I mean, I think that that kind of covers the. The topic, like the green flags. If someone's all green flags and there's no spark, are you fucked up? Is there not the soulmate connection you're looking for? Or maybe you don't need it? Maybe you just develop a deep relationship and you can then have it. Or are they just boring people pleaser, nice person? Yeah, they're just like, the reason why is they care too much about other people think. And that's what the defect is, that there's no attraction there because they just

Nicole [00:50:03]: want anyone that will take them.

John [00:50:05]: Yeah, yeah.

Nicole [00:50:06]: That's how a lot of people that are like, that are. Yeah, they just want to appeal to anybody.

John [00:50:11]: So. But, yeah, but, but that's. It's definitely. Like I said, it's the most common situation, I would say is when a woman meets a guy that's a nice guy. That's. That's the most common situation where this occurs, where it's all green flags and it's like, but there's no spark, like, and it's because I think there might be some.

Nicole [00:50:33]: Like I talked about in the beginning.

John [00:50:34]: Yeah, there's some of that for sure. But I mean, I'm just saying, the most common situation where, like, if I read that, if someone told me that this was a situation, I would say, okay, this is probably what it is, probably a woman that's dating a guy that's a nice guy.

Nicole [00:50:45]: But I think that's your man brain and your coaching men. Man brain, honestly, is what takes you there. And then my woman brain is what takes me where I'm at. So you know what I mean? I don't think either of us are wrong, but I don't think that either of us know what precisely the answer is.

John [00:51:03]: But one element of it, though, real quick, is that because, you know, this comes from coaching guys for a long time, is that women don't really know what creates the spark. But men are supposed to, right? Like, women are just kind of along for the ride and it's just like, oh, wow, I like this guy. I don't like this guy. Because they're more intuition based, right. They're more feeling what they're feeling, right?

Nicole [00:51:29]: Yeah.

John [00:51:30]: So to a woman, it's just like, oh, there was no spark. I didn't feel A connection with the guy. Right in her mind because she's not really thinking heavily. She just thinks it just happens or it doesn't happen. But as a guy who understands some game and understands that. That a guy has to do a lot more to attract a woman than a woman has to do attract a guy. She just has to be there and be attractive. Right?

Nicole [00:51:55]: He has to initiate.

John [00:51:57]: Yeah, but a man has to go approach the girl. But he has to say the right things. He has to like, like, walk the right way. Like there's a whole bunch because.

Nicole [00:52:03]: Walk the right way.

John [00:52:04]: Yeah, because women are analyzing a million different little things about a guy, just like you said. Whereas a guy's like, is she hot or is she not hot? Oh, she's hot. Okay. Whereas women are like, okay, oh, wait a minute. Is that like the gate, the gate of. The gate of his walk? It's like, like there's all these things going on in her brain, like, subconsciously that are evaluating the guy. It's like the tone of his voice. Did he. How did he say that one word? The inflection that he said there? It's like he's a liar. Whatever. You know, it's like because women's brains are sophisticated at, at sussing this out. Like at figuring out the bull.

Nicole [00:52:35]: We have to, we already talked about.

John [00:52:37]: That's why, like, biology. So I'm saying is that for a woman, they're just like, they just feel it or they don't feel it. A guy many times is responsible for creating that feeling because he just has to know what he's doing. Right. You know, the way that he approaches, the way that he talks and talks.

Nicole [00:52:56]: Oh, really? He has to be confident.

John [00:52:58]: Takes her on this adventure and this ride, this romantic, you know, but that's

Nicole [00:53:02]: not that hard if you're confident in yourself because you'll be like, well, if it doesn't work out with this one, then I'll go on a date with another girl. But if you have the scarcity mindset of like, oh, I'm not going to get another day with another girl, then yeah, you're going to be a people pleaser, nice guy. You're going to be like, like, oh, I have to make this one fall in love with me because there's no other ones.

John [00:53:20]: Exactly.

Nicole [00:53:21]: It goes back to the secure attachment. Go watch that video. But it's all connected. But the thing is, what a guy really has to be is confident. He doesn't even have to think about, am I walking weird? Or whatever.

John [00:53:32]: No, no, no.

Nicole [00:53:32]: He's got to think about, like.

John [00:53:34]: No, he doesn't not think about those.

Nicole [00:53:36]: Like, I'm the man. I'm doing what I need to do. I'm a catch. You have to be a catch, but you have to think that as well, and then just go, have a good time. Make it fun.

John [00:53:47]: Exactly.

Nicole [00:53:48]: If she's not into it, her loss.

John [00:53:50]: Exactly.

Nicole [00:53:51]: Yeah, but you have to be a good guy.

John [00:53:54]: Well, you don't have to be, but you should be, so you should be. Yeah, yeah, but. But that's what I'm saying. Like, that's the element that is most likely missing that women think it's just there's no spark because they're not really, like, they're just feeling it or not feeling it. And men think. Oh, they sometimes think, oh, it's just. There's no spark. Or not. No, no, no. You didn't create the spark. Like, you thought she was hot, but you didn't create the whole romance that is going to sweep a woman off of her feet and make her go on an adventure with you.

Nicole [00:54:28]: And if you did and she doesn't like you, then she's fine for you.

John [00:54:31]: Yeah. Then it's not. Yeah, it's not always. Like, you can't get 100% of them right. Like, you can't. It's. It's not. Not everyone is going to be for everyone. So that's. That's true. But in a lot of cases, you know, speaking to the guys. You're fucking up.

Nicole [00:54:44]: This is you back in your, like, game coaching John Day.

John [00:54:48]: Yeah, that's it. But because that's what, you know, that's what I.

Nicole [00:54:51]: If you need help with your game, hit John up.

John [00:54:54]: No, I'm retired from that. I mean, if you pay me enough money, I'll do it.

Nicole [00:54:59]: Oh, my God.

John [00:55:01]: If you pay us enough money, we'll. We'll fly out to Vegas with you. Me and Nicole will both coach you and teach you how to pick up women together. Because I'm not going by myself. That's.

Nicole [00:55:09]: That's right.

John [00:55:09]: For sure. So, yeah, that'll be like, I don't know, like 10 grand or so. So. I'm not joking.

Nicole [00:55:17]: Don't threaten John with a good time.

John [00:55:19]: We'll guarantee you'll get late.

Nicole [00:55:20]: So it's not all about getting laid. That is not what we're here for. We are here for relationships.

John [00:55:27]: Guarantee you'll have a good time.

Nicole [00:55:30]: There you go.

John [00:55:31]: With a lot of women, John, trying

Nicole [00:55:36]: to make the gentleman not the.

John [00:55:38]: Yes, yes.

Nicole [00:55:40]: He forgot.

John [00:55:41]: All right. I think we should. We should wrap it on that.

Nicole [00:55:43]: Yeah, wrap it. And you should wrap it.

John [00:55:46]: Yeah, wrap it, definitely.

Nicole [00:55:49]: All right, well, you can check out our website if John has updated it@betterthanperfectpod.com or, you know, send us an email at Better Than Perfect Podcast at gmail. If you, if you have a story, if you want some advice.

John [00:56:06]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:56:06]: If you have a topic that you want us to do, if you want to say, hi, I should put an

John [00:56:12]: AI on there that's, like, trained on our episodes. And you can talk to advice. Or you could just send us an email. But.

Nicole [00:56:19]: Yeah, send us an email.

John [00:56:21]: All right.