Nicole [00:00:00]: You can't just be like, I'm a leader because I said so. Like, you have to be that.

John [00:00:04]: You can say it. She's not going to agree.

Nicole [00:00:06]: Like, a woman is not going to submit to you if you don't have your shit together, if you don't do what you say you're going to do if you don't lead with integrity. A lot of the guys that are on marriage strike or whatever, they're not leader material.

John [00:00:18]: They're not ready.

Nicole [00:00:18]: That's part of your problem. You're not ready to be married at all.

John [00:00:22]: Beyond the perfect we discover through our flaws, we complete each other. Better than perfect we stay through every fault we find our way. All right, welcome back to the Better Than Perfect podcast, where every week we share with you how two imperfect people helping each other grow equals one better than perfect relationship. And this week, we're talking about marriage strike 2026. Marriage strike 2026.

Nicole [00:00:54]: Two people still do hashtags.

John [00:00:56]: We're not marrying anymore. I'm opting out. I'm not getting married anymore.

Nicole [00:01:01]: Wrong, Wrong. You're stuck with me for.

John [00:01:05]: No, no, I'm not getting married anymore.

Nicole [00:01:07]: Oh, oh, yes. But you are still married.

John [00:01:10]: Hashtag, no more marriages.

Nicole [00:01:12]: Yeah, no, you're not getting married anymore.

John [00:01:14]: No. I guess it's been a big thing that's been trending in the red space. The red pill space.

Nicole [00:01:22]: The red space.

John [00:01:22]: The red pill space about opting. Men opting out of marriage. It's a raw deal for men, apparently. And so just.

Nicole [00:01:32]: But are these men opting out of marriage or are they just not marriage material? That's the real question.

John [00:01:40]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:01:41]: Because let's be real, a lot of men that belong to those spaces act like women are banging down their door to marry them.

John [00:01:52]: Right.

Nicole [00:01:53]: But that's not the case.

John [00:01:56]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:01:56]: And instead it's more of like they hate women so they're not going to get married, or they're afraid to get hurt by women because they've been hurt by women. Or my favorite is they know someone that's been hurt by women, so they don't even try.

John [00:02:10]: Exactly. Yeah.

Nicole [00:02:12]: And so that's my thing is like, a lot of the people, men specifically, that are anti marriage.

John [00:02:21]: Right.

Nicole [00:02:22]: Are not even in a relationship, potentially have never even had a relationship.

John [00:02:26]: Right. For sure.

Nicole [00:02:27]: Have just heard bad stories.

John [00:02:30]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:02:31]: And so are opting out because they're afraid to be a failed marriage participant. So they're taking themselves out of the game before they even do it because they're afraid. They think that a woman is just gonna throw. Take all their money, all their $26 in their savings account.

John [00:02:53]: Their Honda.

Nicole [00:02:54]: Their Honda Civic.

John [00:02:56]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:02:56]: That they have near half.

John [00:02:59]: And I just give it to her, I guess.

Nicole [00:03:02]: And look, I'm not trying to be. No, but it's mean when I say these things, but a majority of the time, it's the men that don't like women or they are afraid. Yeah, they're just straight up afraid.

John [00:03:20]: It's kind of like if I'm like, okay, I'm boycotting the Olympics. I'm not going to participate in the Olympics anymore. I'm not going to go to the Olympics and compete this year.

Nicole [00:03:29]: Right. This year. Like you were ever right on a team to get there.

John [00:03:34]: Like, you're the ones who are boycotting marriage are the ones who are not in there. They. They weren't asked to, to compete in the competition. They weren't invited to the thing. So it's like, you're not inviting me to the party. I'm not going anyway. You can't quit. You can't fire me. I quit.

Nicole [00:03:54]: Right. That's exactly the energy.

John [00:03:56]: Yeah. So. And I get it. Like, again, I, you know, I understand some of the concerns that men have about, about some of the fairness of family court and some of the issues with divorce and marriage. I get those things. I get some of those things. And I think as a man, you have to be smart. Right. You have to be educated and understand that don't enter into this contract lightly because it is a contract that you may lose your ass if you make a wrong decision here. Yeah, exactly. And that women can be sneaky and especially when you spurn a woman and she wants to divorce you, that she may be pretty vengeful. A lot of women do take men to the cleanest for everything they want. I get those arguments. I understand those things. But I think as a man, you just have to be educated about those things. And they have to understand how you can protect yourself. And I don't mean prenuptial agreements. I mean protect yourself by vetting carefully, by making sure that you're the leader in that relationship. The woman actually respects your authority and doesn't just pretend to and that you've. You've actually made these things clear. Right. And in that, you show up the way that you're supposed to show up as men and understand. Why do women leave marriages? Why do women do these things? Because it's not like women just are evil and they're like, oh, they wake

Nicole [00:05:22]: up one day and marry some divorce

John [00:05:24]: and do all this stuff so I could take half of his shit and take his kids so he'll never see them again. They're not. They're not thinking that.

Nicole [00:05:31]: Right.

John [00:05:32]: They get to that place. They do get to that place. It does happen. But how does it happen?

Nicole [00:05:38]: But a lot of times it's the consequences of the man's actions.

John [00:05:41]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:05:41]: Let's be real.

John [00:05:42]: It is.

Nicole [00:05:43]: When are women most upset and vengeful in divorces?

John [00:05:48]: Right. When. When they. When. When they've been mistreated. Exactly. Yeah.

Nicole [00:05:54]: When a man has broke his vows, when a man has lied, when a man has betrayed her.

John [00:05:59]: Or. Or. Or when he's just checked out or has just, like, existed and has stopped romancing her, stop showing up as a man, stopped being a leader, giving her the authority, given her the reins, the marriage. Right. Because. Because there's the extreme. There's the extreme things where it's like, he cheated on her, he lied to her, he did all these things. Right. But then there's the other things that I think are more important, because those ones, it's obvious, like, why did she leave? Why did she want to divorce you? Cool. Because you did all this bad shit to her. But most guys aren't complaining about that. They're complaining about, I didn't do anything wrong.

Nicole [00:06:39]: But those are still the consequences of your actions. Exactly.

John [00:06:42]: That's why those ones are more important.

Nicole [00:06:44]: If you've turned your wife into your mother and now she views you as another child, why wouldn't she leave? So that she only has to deal with her actual children than an adult child.

John [00:06:55]: Yes.

Nicole [00:06:56]: So again, like, I understand what you're saying.

John [00:06:58]: Those are. The More I'm saying is to focus on.

Nicole [00:07:01]: Yeah.

John [00:07:01]: Because those are the ones that people that are. They're missing.

Nicole [00:07:03]: Men don't think that they're doing anything. They don't think it's the consequences of their actions. No, I agree. And you're right.

John [00:07:08]: Right.

Nicole [00:07:09]: But again, men need to realize that those are still the consequences of your actions. Those still the consequence of giving somebody. Of not caring, of not putting in the effort, of giving the responsibility to someone else.

John [00:07:20]: Right.

Nicole [00:07:21]: Of putting more responsibility onto someone else for you.

John [00:07:25]: Right.

Nicole [00:07:26]: And then you don't. You're not responsible for anybody.

John [00:07:28]: Right.

Nicole [00:07:29]: Like, who's gonna deal? Who's gonna put up with that?

John [00:07:32]: Right.

Nicole [00:07:32]: Because even as a man that's leading a relationship, like, yes, he has most of the responsibility, if not all the responsibility, but he doesn't. He. His wife is not just not doing anything. You know what I Mean, like she's still do. And I mean, maybe there are some wives that are doing that, but I'm sure the man would have a conversation. But again, you have to view it. If this is. The tables are turned here and the woman has all the responsibility and the man doesn't, it's way harder for a woman to convince a man to do something than it is for a man to convince a woman to do something.

John [00:08:05]: Right? Yeah.

Nicole [00:08:06]: Because he is supposed to be the leader and he is normally a little bit more stubborn. Not that women can't be stubborn, just.

John [00:08:12]: He'll just keep on saying, I prefer not to.

Nicole [00:08:14]: Right, exactly. I prefer not to. And then not do anything. And then you're like, what? That, that's not an option. Like, we have a family.

John [00:08:24]: Yeah, like what? Yeah, it's like you can get fired from your job because you, you stole from the company or you called your boss an asshole or you cheated, whatever, or you didn't show up on time. But you can also get fired from your job because you just did the minimum. Cause you just showed up and clocked in and you didn't actually take responsibility or you didn't do your work, that can also get you fired from the job. So it's like that's the thing to understand is that it's again, the purpose is not to blame men. There are situations where women mess up relationships or they cheat or they do whatever. But again, I always put it in this square responsibility that it is squarely on the man's shoulders. Right. Because one, as a man, you need to vet a woman. Right. So you don't just marry a woman just because you like her or you love her or she is willing to have sex with you or whatever it is, or because she wants to get married. You marry a woman because she would make a good wife, that she's worthy of that because you're giving her a lot by marrying her. Right.

Nicole [00:09:33]: And a life partner like, you want to spend your life with this woman, this one woman.

John [00:09:38]: Exactly. And so you need to vet that. But, but also how you're leading the relationship before you get married. Because it's your problem as a man if you have a woman that you know is going to be disobedient to you, if you know is going to not accept your authority as a man, as the leaders, that she doesn't trust you, she doesn't see you as the one who is calling the shots, she's going to wear the pants like you already know that ahead of time. You should pre Negotiate that we talk about having the captain of the ship talk. That talk needs to happen. She needs to understand if you're going to marry a woman, especially if you're going to marry her, that in that relationship you're going to be the one who is going to be the captain of the ship who's going to lead that relationship. And that is a non negotiable for you. And if you're afraid that's going to scare a woman off, one of two things. One, good should and two, it might be because she doesn't feel like she can trust you. Because I guarantee you, if you're the man who takes care of all the stuff, makes sure all your shit is handled, and you're handling her shit as well, you know what I mean? That she can relax and be feminine in your presence. Even the most feminine woman is going to be like, I mean, feminist woman is going to be like, yeah, I trust you to lead. I don't want to lead because you're doing a great job of it. You know what I'm saying? So, so I think it begins there, is that it falls squarely on the man's responsibility. Like before you get married, like making that decision because no one's forcing you to get married. You gotta make that choice. And you should know. Just like if I was gonna hire an employee, right, if the employee turns out to be a bad employee and steals from me and does all this stuff, well, did I interview them properly, did I like vet them? Did I look at their resume, Did I check their references? Did I do the things to make sure? And again, yeah, someone could slip through. Possible. But that shouldn't be the fear that you have if you're doing things right, if you're conducting that search correctly. And then secondly, when you're in the relationship as the man, you're the leader. So whatever's going wrong, you gotta be fixing. So if something's happening and your wife is not, the relationship is, is going down, she's being bitter. Like you haven't established rules for the relationship and these things, then you're still the one who's ultimately responsible for that failure of the relationship. So many men put the relationship health into the domain of the woman. And that's why more relationship books are sold to women. They're written for women. Why? Because women tend to be the ones who are the caretakers of the relationship where that's, that's wrong. Women are the temperature gauge of the relationship. They're the thermometer. They tell you when Something's wrong. But you're the one who is at the actual thermostat who fixes it. You fix the thing and you adjust the temperature. She tells you it's too high or too low or whatever it is. And you are the one who actually should be repairing and fixing and making sure that you guys are heading in the right direction. So that's why I put it on the man, is because of those two reasons. Because that's what being a leader and being the authority is. It means taking full responsibility. So if something goes wrong on your ship, you're the captain, and so the buck stops there. That's how. That's how I view it.

Nicole [00:13:02]: Yeah. I mean, and you're not going to come across as a leader if you're like, I'm scared to lose my money.

John [00:13:08]: Right.

Nicole [00:13:09]: And, like, I'm not trying to pick on men, but at the same time, like, it's weak.

John [00:13:15]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:13:17]: And that's why they have a problem. Like, if you're so afraid of this hypothetical thing.

John [00:13:24]: Right.

Nicole [00:13:24]: That it's causing you to treat women poorly to not want to get married at all. Like, that's a weak standpoint. You're a weak man.

John [00:13:33]: Right.

Nicole [00:13:33]: And I'm not trying to be harsh. But it's true.

John [00:13:36]: Right? It is true.

Nicole [00:13:38]: And to quote Cinderella story, which men won't understand, but you can't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.

John [00:13:48]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:13:49]: And I guess it's also hard to, like, truly put myself in a man's shoes because their biggest fear is, like, I'm going to lose half my stuff. Yes. It's like, I won't see my kids. Is. It's a good. That's a good fear as well, too.

John [00:14:06]: It'll be more than half. But.

Nicole [00:14:08]: But like. But my thing is as a woman.

John [00:14:12]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:14:13]: Like, we have to be afraid that because men are so afraid of losing half their stuff.

John [00:14:19]: Right.

Nicole [00:14:20]: That they're more likely to murder you so that they don't lose half their stuff.

John [00:14:25]: That's true. That is. I mean. You know what I mean? Percentage.

Nicole [00:14:28]: But it is a percentage. But you have to realize that, like, we're risking our life. You're risking half of your stuff. So, like, that's also too. Why I hear this. I'm like, look, I get it. And I agree with you. It's like, yeah, this. There is a lot on the line. I'm not saying that men don't have a lot to lose.

John [00:14:45]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:14:46]: But don't treat it like laissez faire. Then like, treat it like the big decision that it is, because women do that. Like, women. Women take risk because they feel like love is worth it.

John [00:15:02]: Right.

Nicole [00:15:03]: Men who act like they're not going to get married, that just tells me you're weak and that you don't think love is worth it. And why would I date you if you don't think love is worth it?

John [00:15:12]: Right. Well, and. And just to give context here, because not everyone knows my story, but I am divorced. Right. Before we got married, got divorced, I lost half my. More than half my shit. Right. However, when we got married, I did not sign a prenuptial agreement. And then I pretty much immediately created a family trust and put you as one of the beneficiaries at the same level as me. So even though we live in California and my premarital assets would technically be mine if we got a divorce, I went all in on it. Now, why would someone be so stupid to do what I did? Right? Because I'm all in on this because I'm so sure and I'm so confident in my ability to lead and to fix things that need to be fixed and my choices and my vetting and where in our establishment of the authority in this relationship that I am willing to go all the way in on it, having even been burned all already, right? Like, it been. Been divorced. So I'm putting my money where my mouth is. And. And I think that, like, if you want to successfully lead, you got to believe in your cause. You. You can't start a war. You can't be, like, leading people into battle and being like, I think we're going to win.

Nicole [00:16:36]: Right?

John [00:16:36]: I.

Nicole [00:16:37]: But if we don't, you think they're going to keep marching? No, they're going to be like, what do you mean?

John [00:16:41]: You're asking people to get behind you and to risk their lives or whatever. And. And then you're like, but I. I think we're gonna win. But if we don't, I've got a. I've got a parachute. I've got a plan. I've got a backup plan for me to escape.

Nicole [00:16:54]: Yeah, you do it like, where's my parachute?

John [00:16:57]: Yeah. So. So it's just. That's the thing, is that, you know, and. And over the years, I've gotten more and more adamant on the stance. Right. Of no prenuptial. Go all the way in on it. Because that's how you need to be at that level of surety. Otherwise, don't get married. And again, not getting married. If guys want to Say, I don't want to get married because I haven't found a woman that I would trust to this level.

Nicole [00:17:26]: Fine. That I respect.

John [00:17:27]: That's fine. But you don't need to hashtag it as marriage boycott or whatever.

Nicole [00:17:32]: Marriage strike.

John [00:17:33]: Yeah, it's marriage strike. Because that, first of all, no one cares any kind of strike. No one really freaking cares. Right? They're like, it's just you and whatever your picket sign, life goes on. Other people are like, you're just annoying. Get out of my way. Right? But especially marriage strike is you're not even eligible. You're not even in the race. No one wants to marry you in your Honda Civic anyway. You don't really have anything to lose. Right? So who I'm talking to is the guys that perhaps see this and are influenced by this because they're actually successful men that actually do have something to lose. And now they're getting influenced and they're like, oh, all these guys are saying this and my lawyer is saying this, and maybe I should be smart and be careful. And you're getting scared off by fear mongers that are mongering fear. Now, again, if you're just a naive guy just walking into a marriage, just, oh, I'll just get married, and you haven't thought about all these things, you're also an idiot, right? And it's probably gonna end up bad for you because statistically. Because that's how statistics work. Because 60% of marriages end in divorce and 90% of them are initiated by women. So if you're just completely blind walking into this randomly and you're not listening to what we're saying, you haven't learned any of these things, learned how to be a leader, learn all the things that we're saying, then yes, statistically, you're probably going to be a victim of the statistics because that's just how the odds are going to play. Probably 60% chance you're going to get divorced and 9% chance it's going to be your wife that initiates the divorce. Yeah. If you're just blindly walk into it, not a good deal, Right? But again, also highly risky is starting a business. And no one would ever just blindly walk into starting a business. If you do, then you're going to end up the nine out of 10 businesses that fail in the first 10 years. It makes sense, right? But there's successful entrepreneurs who are serial entrepreneurs who have built a business and sold it and built a new business and been successful five times in a row. So did they just get lucky or did they have knowledge and some wisdom about this and executed correctly? So it's like all these guys are overplaying the risk of this and fear mongering because they're jealous. Cause they don't have the opportunity. So they want other men to not have the opportunity. And they don't like women and so they don't want. So this is their way of getting back at, you know, of being upset and bitter and you can't buy into that. You got to, as a man, like, use your own brain and realize it. And maybe it's not for you. Like if you're not absolutely sure, you don't find that woman, you don't feel confident in your leadership ability at this point in your life. Don't get married. Don't take the risk. I get it. But if you've done your homework and you understand the risk, then go full into it 100% so that your ass is on the line. Because the other thing about business is that I would not want to get into a business partnership with someone whose ass is not on the line. Like, if this fails, then they're just like, let's say they're already a multimillionaire and they don't really care about this business, but I'm putting my ass on the line and like mortgaging my house and investing in the business. And then they're just like, it doesn't matter. Like, if something happens to this business, like I want them to have as much skin in the game as I do so that we can make sure that it's going to succeed.

Nicole [00:21:00]: Yeah, no, a thousand percent. And you know what? Men need to listen to what you're saying. One, because you were already married before, and two, because you're in the type of relationship that we have now. And like you said, you did lose your stuff and now you're still all in.

John [00:21:15]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:21:16]: Because why are you taking advice from men that aren't married?

John [00:21:20]: Right.

Nicole [00:21:20]: Or men that are just living from their fears? Or like we've said in the beginning of this, or even worse, the men who are living from other men's fears.

John [00:21:32]: Exactly. Yeah.

Nicole [00:21:32]: Why are you listening to those people? Like, I look for advice from people that have what I want. So if you want such a good relationship where you are putting your ass on the line, but you're also getting the best relationship you've ever been in, isn't that who, who you should be listening to? Like, shouldn't you be looking towards married men who beat the statistic? Like, wouldn't you want to learn from those people who are happily married, right? Like, happy and like, have the relationship that you want? They lead, they do all the stuff that they need to do. They don't have to worry about if they're going to lose their kids or not because they have integrity and they live from that.

John [00:22:12]: And even if they got a divorce, they're such a good person to their wife and, and to their kids that, that the wife would not even want to separate them from their kids. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's, that's the thing about it, is that it is. These are controllable things. That, that, that when you have the victim mindset, you're like, oh, it's out of my control. It's like just a victim. It's just my, it's not my fault, right?

Nicole [00:22:39]: It's just a bad woman. I picked a bad woman, I married a bad woman.

John [00:22:41]: Or women, Western women are like that today. Or what do women bring to the table? Again, these are all these stupid questions that it's like, where is the pride in being a man? And like, a man makes his decisions and he stands by his decisions. And sometimes, hey, look, I'm not saying that you can't do everything right and still get a bad result. Like, you could show up, be the man, like I said, you could hire an employee, vet them perfectly, be the perfect boss, and they steal from the register or whatever it is and they tricked you. Possible, very unlikely to happen, but you could do everything right as a man and somehow get screwed over. But that's just part of playing the game. That's just, that's just par for the course. You can't in life, avoid all risk because there's a chance of.

Nicole [00:23:30]: Because you're afraid.

John [00:23:31]: Yeah. You're not going to be like, oh, I'm never going to fly on planes because sometimes they crash. Okay, well then you're going to. Or never drive in a car. Right? So, like, you're just gonna leave, live in your house? No, you have to take calculated risks. And then ultimately at the end of the day, you gotta say, okay, well, shit, I played my hand the best I could and I, and this is what. How it turned out. And I got, I got the bad beat or whatever, I got the unlucky draw. And then you have to deal with it and move on. Right? Like, I didn't spend the rest of my life, the whine. I could have been like, oh, you know, divorce, whatever, and spent the rest of my life whining about it. Or I could rebuild, build a bigger empire. Right? Get a, a wonderful wife and, and live a wonderful life like that. That's the choice that I had. But. But I, but shit's gonna happen to you.

Nicole [00:24:23]: But I think that also shows the man that you are, that you are strong and you are a good leader and you are living in your integrity and do what you say you're gonna do because you didn't allow fear to control you, and you don't allow fear to control you. And that's. That is all that. A lot of the fear mongering, like you said, is, is. It's fear and it's the crab in the bucket theory. It's all these crabs that are like, we're never getting married. And some guys like, well, I want to. I actually love this girl and I think I want to start. And then they're like, no, get down here. You're supposed to, you're supposed to hate women.

John [00:25:02]: Exactly.

Nicole [00:25:02]: And you're on marriage strike. 20, 26. Get back in this damn bucket. That's what it is. And it's like, okay, like, look, there's always going to be some miserable people that are trying to drag people down with them. But, like, men are smarter than that.

John [00:25:19]: Right.

Nicole [00:25:20]: Like, are you going to listen to people that even if they have a good story.

John [00:25:26]: Right.

Nicole [00:25:26]: That you're going to allow them to take away your option of having a loving relationship? You're going to allow them to keep you from playing the game because you're afraid to strike out?

John [00:25:36]: Right.

Nicole [00:25:37]: When, like you said, if you vet somebody well enough, granted, you can still be surprised. I'm not saying that never ever happens.

John [00:25:44]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:25:44]: But it's severely less likely to happen if you actually vet the person.

John [00:25:48]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:25:49]: You actually, like, go through hard things together. You go on trips. You, you really try to see how this person responds in a good variety of situations.

John [00:25:59]: Right.

Nicole [00:25:59]: You're way less likely to get into a bad situation.

John [00:26:03]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:26:04]: And again, going back to what we said in the beginning, men in bad situations.

John [00:26:10]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:26:11]: A lot of time don't even realize they put themselves in the bad situation. A woman does not want to leave her husband. She does not want to leave the man that she built a light a life with.

John [00:26:24]: Women don't dream up when they're little girls about their wedding day. And like Mary, they don't dream of divorce day. And then like, and then the plan is like, to do. Like, that wasn't the plan.

Nicole [00:26:35]: Right.

John [00:26:35]: Like, that's not. Women don't obsess about getting Married and having a nice wedding and like finding the man of their dreams in order to divorce him. It doesn't make any fucking sense. Like why? Like, it just doesn't make any sense. So obviously that's not what she planned, intended to do. Aside from the maybe smallest minuscule percentage of women that are like professional con artists or whatever. But you know, like.

Nicole [00:26:58]: Yeah, that's, that's very minuscule.

John [00:27:01]: Yeah, exactly. So it just doesn't make any sense.

Nicole [00:27:03]: Right, exactly.

John [00:27:04]: So obviously something is going wrong here. Right. And it's, it's not that she wants to like find any reason to divorce you. And a woman doesn't want to end up being, I mean some women like, they, they do want to be divorced because they, they'd rather, you know, they'd rather start their life over again than be in the miserable place that they are. And I get it. But most women do not want to give away their youth and then have to be older and then looking for a man, especially with, with kids in tow or.

Nicole [00:27:32]: Yeah. Or raise their kids on their own or like majority of the time or. Yeah, it's a bad situation. They wanted you, they married you. But you don't realize that there's probably things that you did that caused the relationship to crumble, that caused her to have to make the hard decision. Right, to leave like you said, instead of sticking it out. Because the reality is men can stick it out. They, they're single minded creatures and we're multi minded creatures. So men can function being like, well, go to work, wake up, eat dinner, go to bed.

John [00:28:08]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:28:08]: Like they can live like that. Women cannot. No, they cannot live that way.

John [00:28:13]: No.

Nicole [00:28:13]: They would rather be on their own than miserable in some like, relationship where the man's just in his own world. He's like, la la la. Like, I'm going to my job and it's okay. I'm. My wife doesn't really talk to me, but it's fine. And, but the, the wife's like, I'm doing all this stuff. He's over. He. Is he even listening to me? Probably not. Because he's like, do I'm going to work. And she's like, he doesn't even talk to me anymore. He doesn't care. He doesn't do any of this stuff. Like, why am I doing this? Like, he doesn't, it doesn't matter to him at all. He'll just live his life like this for the rest of the rest of eternity.

John [00:28:48]: Because women build their, their lives around their man or their relationships and Men build their lives around their purpose or their mission. And so a man can be doing all of his stuff and think that things are fine, and the woman is over here drowning because she doesn't have anything, because that's what she's built, her primary focus in life. And women are relational. And so it's even like. I mean, and there's no excuse for it because I'm super damn busy, right? But then, look, I just took you for a couple days to a nice mountain, you know, getaway for a couple days. I didn't have, like, a whole week this time, but I had a couple days. And so we did that, or we went to a play last night. It's like, yeah, there's like, I'm specifically spending the time with you because I care about that. I can't just live my life just going through and working and not just ignoring you or whatever.

Nicole [00:29:40]: Not living.

John [00:29:41]: Exactly. Yeah. So I think it is. Yeah. Guys have to understand, and that's why they get blindsided. But the thing about it, too, is that, look, a building doesn't just fall down.

Nicole [00:29:52]: They're not blindsided. They have blinders on like a horse. So they're like, oh, all I can see is my job. And then when they get a divorce, it's like the blinders come off and they're like, what happened here?

John [00:30:02]: She just left. But it's like. But your marriage, your relationship is like a building, right? With a foundation. You need to have a good foundation, but the building itself needs to be inspected and checked if termites come and start eating all the wood. And then one day it collapses. And you're like, oh, it just collapsed one day. It's like, no, that's not how it works. No, it didn't just collapse one day. The termites had been chewing at the wood for a while. You didn't expect it. You didn't see what was going on. You didn't repair. You didn't replace the damaged wood. You know what I'm saying? And so that's the same thing. It's like you as a leader in the relationship, you gotta be looking to see what is damaged, what needs to be fixed. Cause it's not just one night. A woman just wakes up the next morning and just like, oh, I'm gonna divorce this guy and take him for all this shit, and he's never gonna see his kids again. That doesn't happen.

Nicole [00:30:56]: No.

John [00:30:57]: Yeah. So there's some signs that happen.

Nicole [00:31:01]: Especially if a woman had kids with you. If a woman had kids with You. She was not expecting to leave you.

John [00:31:08]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:31:08]: No woman has kids ever with a man that she's expecting to just leave.

John [00:31:13]: Right. And. And, and. And men will say. Because we'll get this. Is that. Well, women, just, like, they see all these other women and the Western women TikTok and all this stuff, and they get unsatisfied in their relationship. Because of which I agree. I think is as an excuse, because I think there's some. Yeah, I think that happens, but it happens because it doesn't happen, because those things make them unsatisfied with the relationship. It happens because they're already not feeling emotionally satisfied and fulfilled in the relationship,

Nicole [00:31:48]: and it's more apparent.

John [00:31:49]: And then that contrast makes it like they're like, whoa, shoot, maybe I should be living the single life. Maybe I should be doing this or whatever. Or maybe I should listen to these other women that are like, you don't need a man. And because they're not just gonna be influenced by that if they aren't already. If they've got a good man who is leading them, who is taking care of them, who cares about them, who's doing more than just a minimal effort. Those things are gonna.

Nicole [00:32:19]: I need my man. I have dreams sometimes where I'm like, where's John in the dream? I'm like, I need John. I can't deal with this. But no, you're a thousand percent right. Like, they're not. But it's funny, because men are easily influenced by other men, and so I think that's why they think that women are easily influenced by other women. But the thing is, exactly like you said, if there's no underlying problems, a woman watching, like, a woman like me who's a thousand percent happy watching some woman be like, you don't need a man. I'm like, you obviously don't have a good man. You know what I mean? Like, I believed that when I didn't have a good man.

John [00:32:57]: Yeah. Yeah.

Nicole [00:32:59]: Like, I'm not watching that and being like, you know what? Yeah, I miss being single or I should be single again. Like, no woman is doing that. If she's looking at that and she's like, oh, well, maybe I would be better off single. It's probably because she already feels single.

John [00:33:14]: Right.

Nicole [00:33:14]: Anyway.

John [00:33:15]: Right.

Nicole [00:33:16]: So why wouldn't she get rid of the extra baggage.

John [00:33:18]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:33:19]: That she's having to take care of. That isn't benefiting her at all.

John [00:33:23]: Exactly.

Nicole [00:33:23]: And I'm not saying that I condone divorce. I don't.

John [00:33:27]: No.

Nicole [00:33:27]: But at the same time, Like I said, I know how incredibly hard it is as a woman to influence your husband. Men are influenced by other men.

John [00:33:39]: Sure.

Nicole [00:33:40]: But rarely influenced by the woman they're with. Like, it has to be one. The man has to respect. Respect and value the woman enough to be open to even listening to what she has to say.

John [00:33:51]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:33:52]: But like, even if you do a good job at that, you can't count on it as a woman to talk to your man and be able that think that you're going to influence him, like, into whatever decision. Like, I feel like, like we talked about in the last episode, we try to be better for each other and so there's that influence. But you choose that. Like, you choose that you want to be better and that I can talk to you and that you value what I have to say and the standard that I hold you to.

John [00:34:22]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:34:22]: Because I know what you're capable of. But it's like, you know, even I sometimes feel like I can't influence your decision or mood that you're in, that you are the only person that can do that.

John [00:34:36]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:34:37]: Whereas if you are a man and you are leading and, you know, you're head of the household or whatever, you do have a lot more influence. Like, your wife does look up to you. You do take care of a lot of stuff. Like, it's a lot more easy to influence your wife as a husband.

John [00:34:51]: Exactly.

Nicole [00:34:52]: So, you know, I think men, which women do the same thing in different ways, but I think men project that they're easily influenced by men.

John [00:35:02]: Right.

Nicole [00:35:02]: So my wife must easily be influenced by these other girls that they're seeing on TikTok. But that's not the case.

John [00:35:09]: Right, right. Yeah. And, and, and it can happen, of course. And I, I think as a man, like, one of the biggest things to watch out for is what kind of friends is your wife hanging around. Right. Because. And it can happen to men as too. But again, that's part of your responsibility as a man is to know what kind of influence is she around that, you know, if she around single girls, is she around girls that are cheating on their husbands, you know, or partying or doing stuff like that? Obviously that would be something to. But again, like I said, if you're doing things correctly as a man, she's not going to have the desire to be around those people. And like I said, the biggest defense that you could possibly have is just establishing things from the beginning. Do not marry a woman that has not professed that she submits to your authority as a leader in the relationship, don't do it. Because then. Because what is the chances of you being screwed over by a woman that already has said, I trust you to lead a relationship Again, it's not going to be perfect. There's not going to be times where she might not disagree with you or do the wrong thing. That's fine. But you're at a much better starting point. If you're already at that place as a man and then it is in your responsibility, you're putting it into your control where, hey, she's already committing to, to being willing to trust you as a leader, to lead your family and lead your house. And so from that starting point, that's a great place to start. You're already going to beat the statistics just based on that. Because again, if we took the statistics of 60% of marriages in the United States end in divorce, and you said, well, what percentage of those were ones where the pre established to the marriage the woman had willingly subjected herself to the man being the leader and the authority in a relationship? I think it's going to be like hardly any of those. Like a very, very small percentage.

Nicole [00:37:16]: Yeah.

John [00:37:16]: So there you go.

Nicole [00:37:17]: But here's the thing. The man has to be an actual leader.

John [00:37:22]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:37:22]: Like a woman is not going to submit to you if you don't have your shit together, if you don't do what you say you're going to do, if you don't lead with integrity, if you don't, you know, handle majority of the responsibility. Like it's, you can't just be like, I'm a leader because I said so. Like, you have to be that.

John [00:37:43]: Right.

Nicole [00:37:44]: Because a woman is not going to just submit to any man.

John [00:37:48]: Well, yeah, I mean, you can say it, but she's not gonna, she's not gonna agree.

Nicole [00:37:51]: Right, Right. So, but a man might be like, oh, that's not the right woman. Like, as a man, you need to really know that you're doing the right thing as a leader because you have to be real with yourself.

John [00:38:05]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:38:05]: Because a lot of the guys that are on marriage strike or whatever.

John [00:38:09]: Right.

Nicole [00:38:10]: They're not leader material.

John [00:38:11]: They're not ready.

Nicole [00:38:12]: That's part of your problem.

John [00:38:13]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:38:14]: Like, part of your problem is you're not ready to be married at all. You're not even a man.

John [00:38:20]: Right.

Nicole [00:38:21]: You're not disciplining yourself in order to be a leader. You're not doing what you need to do.

John [00:38:27]: Right. Because you're, you're viewing it as, what does she bring to the table? How does this benefit me instead of this is a responsibility that I take on.

Nicole [00:38:35]: Right.

John [00:38:36]: Because that's what it is. It's a responsibility you take on. So you have to be ready to take on a responsibility. And they're like, well, what's in it for me? That's not what responsibilities are. What's in it for you? There is some stuff that is in it for you, but a lot of the what's in it for you as a man is the pride. Exactly. The pride of doing what you're supposed to do. Of taking care of a family, taking care of a woman, stepping up and being the man. The pride that you have in yourself. And really I was just talking to a friend of mine the other night about this and it's like the thing that has to really motivate you as a man, it's gotta be the pride of being a man, of doing the right thing, of being the person that even if no one else recognizes what you're doing, that you know who you are and what you're doing, and that you're doing the right things and you're doing good by the people that you're serving, like that's gotta be enough for you. And that's also the best feeling that you can have as a man because no one else can give you. A woman can do all these things for you. And that's not gonna feel as good as the pride that you experience of being the man and knowing you're the man. Because no one can give you anything. Cause you don't need anything from anyone. What you have is within yourself. Like that is the most powerful that you can be. And it's also the most trustworthy that you can be where, where people know what your motive is. Because when people feel like you're only doing things because you're getting something, they can tell and they don't trust you, they don't trust you to lead because you're not gonna make the right choice. You're gonna make the self interested choices as opposed to the choices that are good for the welfare of the group that you're leading.

Nicole [00:40:16]: Yeah.

John [00:40:16]: And that's what it takes. And so it's not like hashtag, what is it? Marriage strike strike. It's like, okay, you're not cut out for this. Maybe. So it's like, if you're like, okay, I don't want this responsibility and I don't want to be this guy and I don't see why anyone would want to do it.

Nicole [00:40:35]: Good, right, Take yourself off the market. Because women don't want that even, and

John [00:40:38]: I respect that even, like, okay, I don't think you're living to your highest purpose in life, but I can respect that. Then you're like, okay, I can't handle this responsibility. Fine, put it on you, not on women, not on other people, not on society. And it's on you. You can't handle this responsibility. I don't want this. Sure, okay, that's fine. But that's what you have to understand about it is that it is like if you're thinking this is something that it should be something that's a benefit to you, it is a benefit to you in the sense that it gives you this ability to perform and to be the man that you're capable of being and the pride that you get from being that to fulfill your highest calling and purpose, which is to be a protector and provider and, and to be the security and safety and to raise a family or even a relationship where you both grow to create that environment. But there's no material benefit from you and only a potential material loss. And that's okay. That's how it works. So if you don't want that and you think that's a bad deal, and I'm not going to argue with you if you feel like that's a bad deal, I can see why you would think that's a bad deal for you, that's fine. You don't understand it. You don't understand what you're getting, which is not tangible, which is not something that you can express in terms of money and in terms of rewards. But it's something that is pride, frankly. And if you don't see the value in that, then it's not for you and that's fine.

Nicole [00:42:03]: Yeah, I mean, I think you get more than just pride, but I do agree that it has to be self motivated. And so I do think the focus should be majority on that, on the pride of doing the right thing and being the man that you want to be. But I do think you also obviously benefit from being married in other ways. Like honestly, statistically married men live longer than non married men and statistically married women live not as long as single women. So it's like, look, we're also taking a risk here. But, but no, but I do think that what you said is so important because it does have to come from you being the man. And that's why I wanted to bring up that like if you aren't a good leader and you tell someone that you're going to lead and she says no, it's not always a her problem. Most of the time, it's a you problem.

John [00:43:01]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:43:02]: You're not showing up how a leader should show up, how a man should show up. And until you get there, any woman's gonna say no to submitting to you because it's not a safe bet.

John [00:43:14]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:43:15]: Like, she is better off not submitting to you because she can handle life better than you can.

John [00:43:21]: Right? Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Nicole [00:43:22]: But that doesn't mean that you can't step up to the plate and be that man. But I did see. I think it was in the documentary that just came out on Netflix when we watched the preview of it going back a little bit to men not liking women and expecting to have a woman in their life.

John [00:43:43]: Yeah. Yeah.

Nicole [00:43:44]: Like, I think that was that this one or the one before that?

John [00:43:48]: Which. What, the episode or.

Nicole [00:43:50]: Yeah.

John [00:43:51]: Where we were talking about.

Nicole [00:43:52]: Maybe it was the fantasy one, but either way, it goes with this, too, because I know in, like, the topic that we're talking about now, it talked about, like, Myron Gaines and Donovan Sharpe kind of perpetuating this marriage strike thing. But it's funny because Myron on that documentary trailer said he loved women, but his actions and the way he talks about women says otherwise. And so these guys who are like, I never want to get married, and they don't trust women and they're fearful of women.

John [00:44:26]: Right.

Nicole [00:44:26]: As long as you live from that place, you will never have a woman. And even if you go somewhere and you're like, but I love women, like, your actions speak louder than your words. It doesn't matter. You're not going. If you are saying, I love women, I love women. I love women. But then all your actions say otherwise.

John [00:44:46]: Right.

Nicole [00:44:47]: That is going to manifest what you actually get in your life, which is not going to be a woman, because your actions are proving to the universe whether you're spiritual or not.

John [00:44:58]: Right.

Nicole [00:44:59]: The law of attraction is a real thing. If you're acting and living from this place as your truth, no matter what lies you're saying, like, I know I love women. I want women to be in my life. If you're acting the opposite.

John [00:45:12]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:45:13]: That's what you're gonna get.

John [00:45:14]: Exactly. Yeah.

Nicole [00:45:15]: And so you can't live from fear. You have to have faith that you can have a marriage that works and is successful and is good, and your wife respects you and loves you and you love her. It is possible. I mean, you're sitting right here. It's possible. Like the statistics. Like, yes. Even if it is the Majority of this. That doesn't mean that's not possible. It also doesn't mean that the statistic can't change.

John [00:45:40]: Right. Exactly.

Nicole [00:45:41]: Like, it's not set in stone. It's not a majority. And honestly, these men that are, like, on a marriage strike and hating women and following men that hate women and are perpetuating this.

John [00:45:54]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:45:55]: And then same over here with the women that are perpetuating hating men and trying to convince other women to hate men, that will cause the statistic to get worse. But it doesn't have to. Like, if you know that you want to be married and you want to be happy and you want to have a loving relationship.

John [00:46:14]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:46:15]: And you want to have the polarity, you can have that. But it starts with your internal beliefs.

John [00:46:20]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:46:21]: Especially about the person that you're trying to attract into your life. Especially about your partner that you want to spend your life with.

John [00:46:30]: Right.

Nicole [00:46:30]: If you think that you can never find someone to be with you, you're probably going to prove yourself. Right.

John [00:46:36]: Right.

Nicole [00:46:36]: But if you feel like there's someone out there for you and you're going to focus on being the man that you can be until that woman shows up, and you're gonna know that that woman is the right woman for you because it'll be undeniable by the way she treats you. What do you have to lose?

John [00:46:53]: I mean, imagine being the captain of a ship and sinking, and then you're like, it was the crew's fault. Right. Like, it doesn't make any sense. So it's like, if you're the captain of the ship, then then don't abdicate the responsibility.

Nicole [00:47:12]: Right.

John [00:47:12]: Don't be like, oh, it's like, because. Because people will say all the time, is like, oh, well, I can't control what the other person does. You never know what a person's gonna do. You can't control what another person does. Well, yeah. But if you're the one that's the leader that's in charge, then you're the one who's responsible. So.

Nicole [00:47:32]: Yeah. No, you're right.

John [00:47:34]: Yeah. But, yeah, I don't know. I mean, I think it's just. It's become very, very. Victim mindset is the biggest problem I have with it. Right. Because if you're just like, it's not for me, you know, it's fine. I don't want to take the responsibility. Fine. That's not victim mindset. That's a choice that you're making. But when you're, like, whining about it, complaining about it saying it's because of this, it's because of women. It's because of western women.

Nicole [00:48:03]: Blaming everyone but yourself.

John [00:48:04]: Yeah. Then it's become victim mindset, and that's just ridiculous.

Nicole [00:48:09]: Yeah. And those people don't even realize if they took accountability for their life, they feel so much better. They'd feel more like the man. Like, you feel like less of a man and fearful and weak and small when you're living from those feelings.

John [00:48:27]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:48:28]: Rather than being like, you know what? No, it's my responsibility. I'm gonna focus on being the man that I know I want to be, and I know that the right person for me will show up. Do you know how much your life will change just from changing your mindset? From, it's not my fault. Like, everybody treats me poorly, and I'm never gonna find anybody to like, you know what? It doesn't matter what anyone does. I'm gonna be the man that I know I need to be and that I can be, and I'm gonna start on it right now. And I know that if I'm supposed to get married, then I will find the right person for me, and I will know without a doubt that that is the person for me. Do you know how much better you're, like, how much better all areas of your life would be even if you haven't found that person yet? How much more confident you would be, how much more, you know, like, resilient, like, when life throws you hard things.

John [00:49:18]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:49:18]: Like, it's. It's just baffling that people choose to live. And I get it. We can all fall into the victim mindset. I'm not saying that.

John [00:49:27]: No.

Nicole [00:49:27]: You know, we're perfect. Anyone's perfect. And they never have victim mindset thoughts. That's not a reality. But the thing is, you can either sit in those, or you can choose to flip the script at any time. Even if you are feeling victim mindset sort of thoughts.

John [00:49:46]: Right.

Nicole [00:49:47]: You have the choice to be like, you know what? Actually, no, I'm not doing this pity party with myself. I'm going to do what I need to do, and I'm going to take charge, and I'm gonna. I'm gonna do what needs to be done, and I'm gonna work on myself, and I'm gonna do the things I need to do, and I'm gonna live up to my word. And, you know, if marriage is in the cards for me, then it will happen.

John [00:50:07]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:50:07]: And be honest with yourself. Like, again, like, if you don't want to do it if you don't want to get married, that's fine. But also don't go on dates then and convince women that you want to get married just to get something from them.

John [00:50:22]: Right?

Nicole [00:50:22]: And then you actually don't.

John [00:50:25]: And it's also like, what are you trying to accomplish with the whole strike on marriage 20, 26? Like, what do you want the outcome to be?

Nicole [00:50:34]: Oh, that's great.

John [00:50:35]: It's like you want women to change in what way? Like, what specifically do you want the outcome to be? Right? You know what I'm saying? It's like you want to retroactively change the divorce stats. You want women to stop divorcing men. Is that like, how will you know when you've accomplished the goal? Like, are you trying to punish women?

Nicole [00:50:55]: I think it's trying to get more crabs in the bucket, if I'm being

John [00:50:58]: honest, because it's some way trying to punish. So women. Why does anyone care about this? They care about it because obviously you're trying to cause some kind of get women to learn something by saying, oh, men are opting out of marriage. They're going on a marriage strike. So there's no more men to be married. So we need to change how we're doing things. So what do you want them to actually change?

Nicole [00:51:21]: Let us know in the comments.

John [00:51:22]: Yeah, because I want to know what it is. Because it's like, what would be enough and what would convince you? What evidence would there be that you've been successful at this thing?

Nicole [00:51:31]: See, I think logically that makes sense, but I do think it's a crab in the bucket sort of thing, because I think it's more. It's not even that men want. And well, maybe what men want is women to lower their standards so they don't have to do anything and they can still get what they want, but then they're still scared to get their money, so maybe they want to do that plus prenups, I don't know. But in my opinion, the thing that makes the most sense is it's the crab in the bucket thing. Trying to get more crabs in the bucket, right? So that when they're all single, at least they have their bros in the bucket. That's the only thing that makes sense

John [00:52:05]: to me because I can't figure out what it is, what it would be like, what is the thing? What is your list of like, when someone goes on a strike, right, they have a list of demands they want, higher wages they want, right? So what is it like women to be more satisfied in Relationships.

Nicole [00:52:22]: But that doesn't.

John [00:52:24]: Yeah, you. Like. Like, what is the thing that you're striking for?

Nicole [00:52:28]: They don't know.

John [00:52:28]: You know, stop getting women to stop getting divorced. Like, what is. You know, I need a thing in order to get behind it. Otherwise, how am I going to get behind this thing if you don't. We don't know what we're striking for. Like, it'd be ridiculous if you went through a picket line and people are holding, you know, strike. Like they're striking. You're like, well, what are you guys striking for? And they're like, we don't know, but we're angry. We don't like it. Like, ok, we're gonna negotiate with you. What do you guys want? We want things to be better.

Nicole [00:53:00]: Yeah. We don't want to have our stuff taken. Like, I don't know. I guess maybe the prenup thing. Maybe.

John [00:53:08]: I mean, you can already.

Nicole [00:53:09]: They're not even talking about that. Yeah.

John [00:53:11]: So it's like. My point is it's. It's just victim. It's just whining.

Nicole [00:53:14]: Yeah.

John [00:53:15]: That's what. Because it's not a specific thing.

Nicole [00:53:17]: Right.

John [00:53:17]: It's even when I coach people and they're like, I don't like this or whatever. I'm like, give me the specific thing that you want. Change that. The reason why you feel this way. Don't just give me some kind of. It's not for me or whatever it is. That's bullshit. You need to be specific about the thing. If you want something to change, you have to know what it is. That's the thing about it. I can get that there's some things, like I said in family courts that are unfair and the way that sometimes men are treated in these type of situations. And. And I've heard the horror stories and I know that they're true. Cause I've heard them from the people they've actually happened to. But again, when I come back to it, there's usually something that they fumbled the ball somewhere along the lines. And. Yeah. And maybe someone didn't deserve to be treated the way that they did. But still, you're not coming out spotless on this. So if you're gonna strike on something, you need to have an actual tangible outcome of what you actually want to see happen so that there can be some kind of action here. But it's going to be kind of a pointless strike anyway because. No. Women are like, oh, crap, the men are striking. They're not going to get. It's just the same thing.

Nicole [00:54:31]: The Men that are striking are the men that women don't want. They're kind of calling themselves out. A woman could have wanted you, but if she sees that you're literally posting hashtag, marriage strike 2026. Yeah, she's not. A woman's gonna stay as far away from you as possible. She already knows what you believe. She already knows you believe all the things that you know, the pills and whatnot. Like, she already knows. Like, you put yourself in a box, you put, you make yourself unattractive. Like, you don't even realize. You think you're standing up for something. But like you said, unless you guys are actually talking about it, which they're not, because we don't even know what they want. Like you said, what do they want? Now you've put yourself in a worse box, right? Because now any woman that's seeing that is going to remember that you were hashtag, marriage strike 2026.

John [00:55:23]: Right.

Nicole [00:55:24]: And if you ever try to talk to them, she's gonna be like, no, you said you didn't want to get married. I want to get married. And then you have to be like, oh, well, I changed my mind. Did you?

John [00:55:31]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:55:32]: Like, no, you're actually shooting yourself more in the foot if you're on this marriage strike 2026 train.

John [00:55:38]: Yeah, it doesn't, it doesn't make any sense to me at all. Like, if you have a specific thing that you want to, like, legally have changed. Right. So there's some men's rights activists that go after the, the law and try to figure that's a respectable thing to do. If that's like, you know, to fix the things because, you know, a lot of times it ends up where, where the woman ends up taking the kids and, and the kids don't have a father, and it's not because he doesn't want to show up and be a father. And that's a messed up thing and that shouldn't happen. Right. But that's a specific, tangible result that you're going for. And it's not necessarily a victim blaming type of action.

Nicole [00:56:14]: And you have action.

John [00:56:16]: This is not how things should be. And we want to change this thing. I'm all for that. Right. On this podcast, we try to change things in terms of we want, you know, we tell women to be more chaste. Right? Like it's going to be better for, you know, like, so, okay, that's a tangible outcome. Right. We tell men a lot of things too, that they need to change and fix and to have better relationships because we Want to see people have better than perfect relationships, and so that's how it's going to happen. But you got to have some kind of outcome that you're actually looking for, and it can't just be whining, so.

Nicole [00:56:53]: Right. Yeah, a thousand percent.

John [00:56:56]: All right, well, I think we're. We pretty much covered this topic. Anything else you'd like to. To add to it?

Nicole [00:57:03]: No, I just hope men really listen to this with an open mind.

John [00:57:07]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:57:08]: And, you know, don't just attack it, like, because like I mentioned, like, they're in the comments of everything attacking everything. I'm not saying women don't do the same thing, but majority of comments from men are attacking on anything.

John [00:57:24]: Yeah, well, there's plenty of shit to not like and hear that I've said for both men and women. So because I'm saying that a woman needs to submit to her man in a relationship and him being the leader, plenty of women are acting like that. But I'm telling men, men, it's all on you. It's your fault, so you take the full responsibility. So, look, it's not like we're just shitting on men. That's what I'm trying to say. We're saying it's something that's a hard truth for women, too. It's like, hey, if you want, you know, get married, you want to be successful, you need to find a man that you can trust that is actually going to lead you because that's ultimately what's going to result in.

Nicole [00:57:59]: In the success, which that's what women want.

John [00:58:02]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:58:02]: But when you have so many crabs in the bucket, that's what I'm trying to say is like, these crabs need to get out of the bucket. Don't put yourself in a worse bucket.

John [00:58:11]: Right.

Nicole [00:58:11]: By labeling yourself now to something that will probably follow you more than you think it will.

John [00:58:18]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:58:19]: Like, you know, yeah, you might be young and so you don't think marriage is a good idea, but you never know who's paying attention to the things that you say online and things like that. And so you don't want to end up shooting yourself in the foot when you do want to have a relationship later on. And then it's harder for a woman to trust you because she's seen the things that you have said and how you've acted again. It's like how you act. And again, like being afraid or, you know, hating on women or talking bad about them, that causes a lot more damage than you think it does.

John [00:58:54]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:58:55]: And a lot of men like to do that in the comments of not just women, but they'll also talk bad about men as well, too. And so it's kind of like, how can a woman trust you as a man if you talk shit about everyone?

John [00:59:10]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:59:11]: How are they safe from you?

John [00:59:12]: Yeah. Yeah.

Nicole [00:59:13]: So if there's any crabs listening to this, you can change your life. You can change your life at any time. You can just focus on being a better man, get out of the bucket and, you know, have the life that you really want to have deep down that you're afraid to tell everybody. You're afraid to tell your bros. You're afraid that you're going to get hurt by love or women. Like, go for it. You can't. Like you said, you can't be afraid to be in a car accident or a plane crash. And so you don't do anything or, you know, being struck by lightning or, I don't know, like, all these things that could happen. Like, yeah, we. We have to live our lives anyway. We never know what could happen. You could just not even wake up the next day.

John [00:59:55]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:59:56]: So, like, do something towards the goal of what you actually deeply want in life.

John [01:00:02]: Yeah, I agree. All right, well, I think that's a wrap. If you have a question for us, email us@betterthanperfectpodcastmail.com and check out the website@betterthanperfectpod.com you can subscribe on there and get the episodes when they come out. Yeah.

Nicole [01:00:20]: If you want us to talk about anything specific.

John [01:00:22]: Yeah. And if you're in San Diego and you want to come on the show, shoot us an email.