Lana [00:00:00]: If a guy and a woman are on a date and then they like each other and you know she's gonna wait three months.

John [00:00:06]: Right.

Lana [00:00:07]: Do you believe that the guy is not gonna hook up with other people in those three months?

John [00:00:11]: That's a good question.

Nicole [00:00:12]: If he will, then he's not meant to be. He's never will be able to build a relationship with you.

Lana [00:00:16]: I agree with you. Because I think a lot of times women are afraid to lose a man. And that's why, too. They're afraid to be like, I'm looking for a committed relationship. Cause they're scared it's gonna scare them off or. Or they want to wait the three months like you said. But they're scared that something's going to happen. And I agree that, like, if he does that, then he's not the one for you. I guess my thing is just like John was talking about how he initially was like, three months, that's a long time.

Nicole [00:00:39]: And you're like, did he sleep with other women while we were chatting? But it's like beyond the perfect.

John [00:00:45]: We discover through our flaws. We complete each other. Better than perfect. We stay through every fault we find. All right, welcome back to the better than Perfect podcast, where every week we share with you how two imperfect people helping each other grow equals one better than perfect relationship. And we are back again with. With Lana Rico. And today we're going to be talking about, you know, basically kind of the black pill stuff. Basically. Why, you know, is it. Is it that women are only interested in and how men look? Is it that women only want the attractive man? If you're not a 9 out of 10 guy with extremely great genetics that you might as well just give up. Is that the truth? So, yeah, thanks for coming back.

Nicole [00:01:40]: Well, thank you for having me. You see, I even dress up according to that.

John [00:01:44]: Exactly.

Nicole [00:01:47]: I think it's a great question because we see more of that and we see that that movement is rising still online, and we see a lot of frustrated who are blaming mostly women for the failures in the relationships and dating. And of course, whatever I say, like, oh, you just a black pill, or like red pill or any color pill, you're a loser. You're incel. And there's a bunch of other things they call it, well, die alone, you know, and it's like, it's your problem. And the guy thinks like, you see, that's exactly what I'm talking about.

John [00:02:19]: Exactly.

Nicole [00:02:19]: That's what. You're just proving my point.

John [00:02:21]: Exactly.

Nicole [00:02:23]: And that's the question, like, how do you get out of this vicious circle, vicious cycle, how you're breaking it. And I think you can do it. And there is definitely things a man can do. The question is do you want to?

Lana [00:02:39]: Right, right.

Nicole [00:02:40]: Or you feel comfortable because sometimes you get in some sort of mindset and you just feel so comfortable that you don't want to get out of it and you're just looking outside the proof for your, if you can call it ideology or state of mind, but you don't have to be because you still can be happy. And like John said, these guys believe that women only pick chats 9 or 10 out of 10 rich guys. And the only question I want to ask guys like that is if that's true, how come we have a billion of married women all throughout the world?

John [00:03:19]: Right.

Nicole [00:03:20]: We can't have like a billion. Billionaires are like millionaires and good looking guys, they like.00, I don't know, two or three zeros after the 0.1%. And yet we must still get married. Women still have kids. And so you're just go outside and see the proof that you're wrong. Just physical proof.

Lana [00:03:42]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:03:43]: And maybe why you get into that state of mind? Because you're trying to approach certain type of women and then they give you that feedback and then you think like, oh yeah, I am probably like they wanna I'm not good enough for them. Because you try to approach women for whom physical appearance matters.

John [00:04:05]: Right, right, exactly.

Nicole [00:04:07]: And of course they will give you that feedback, you know, like you're not my type. That's what women say, like you're not my type means like you're ugly.

Lana [00:04:15]: Like that's the translation.

John [00:04:17]: Yeah, I think a lot of men will say, you know, in counter to that, they'll say that well those women settle for guys, those guys are beta provider guys. And then they'll cheat on those guys with the pool boy or with the whatchamacallit. When she goes out on her girls night out and sees the guy at the club, she's gonna cheat on that guy. She's gonna divorce that guy later on anyway because she wasn't really attracted to.

Nicole [00:04:47]: The guy and she wanted his money.

John [00:04:49]: Right, right.

Nicole [00:04:50]: Because she gonna divorce him. They cough and leave Evelyn Harper happily ever after.

Lana [00:04:55]: Sorry, that's what they think.

Nicole [00:04:58]: What I would say to this is that you're right. But fortunately that happens quite rare. It happens, but it happens quite rare because are they bad women? Of course as well as the bad men. But again they're not majority. We just see that because we check the news. Yeah. And the news always they pick the most cringy story that will grab your attention and make you read the article. So you can click on some ads, right? And of course you read this story, some video goes viral on TikTok or Instagram about another story like that and you think like, okay, I saw this three, four different stories, it must be true. But it's not. Yeah. And majority of women are faithful. And as you as a guy is also very important point while you're dating to filter out women who are not going to be faithful. And you actually can filter them out because it's like, oh, how could you say it? Because you women all look good and you all say that you're faithful, but then surprise, surprise, he's not my kid. You actually can filter out by asking the right questions. And that's why how we talk about in the first episode, previous episode, which is link that dating is extremely crucial. A lot of people think that dating just entertainment, just thing to have fun, but it's not, it's very important point in the relationship where you're filtering out wrong candidates and picking up the right candidates. And that's why it's important not to talk about your favorite color, your favorite movie, or the songs you like to listen. But questions about the family, about the values, about the past relationships and things like that, the goals, what they're looking for in relationships. And those questions help filter out the wrong partners.

John [00:06:52]: Right.

Nicole [00:06:53]: And that's. Sorry, I. I wish I can date for someone. But it's your job to, when you're dating, it's your job to filter out those wrong partners. And yeah, absolutely, they exist. Definitely. But that's why fortunately we live in a time when we can choose whoever we want and we can ask questions whatever we want. So why not using it and pick the partners based on that?

John [00:07:18]: Well, you can't, you can't say that without telling us the question to ask to find out if a woman is going to be faithful or not.

Lana [00:07:24]: Well, we talked about this too in a previous episode of how people, yeah. They're kind of, they get in bad situations, right. And then they're like, well, how was I supposed to know? And it's like if you're honest with yourself, you know, you probably didn't dig deep enough to know how this person is as a person. Can you trust them? Are there some red flags that might potentially turn into cheating or dishonesty or things like that? I agree with you that I think a lot of people, they're like, oh, I like this person. We have fun and all this stuff, and they don't dive into who the person actually is. And I know that there's still going to be some moments where someone can totally surprise you, but everything in life has a risk. And so if you feel like you've asked the questions that make you feel confident in your choice of a partner and you get married, yeah, things might change and maybe something happens, but that's a risk you should be willing to take because you feel so confident in the person that you chose to marry. Because we talk a lot about, like, if you're not 100% sure that you want to be with this person for the rest of your life, you have no business getting married. Because you should have gotten to know them and asked the questions and been around them and been in certain situations and see how they respond before you ever go to the altar. Because I feel like a lot of people, I guess, aren't doing this, and then they get to this place, and then they're like, well, this just happened. Or there are actual signs of either your relationship getting a crack in it, which is going to push your partner potentially to seek other people for, like, emotional support or physical intimacy that they ignore, and then they're blindsided. But then it's like, yeah, it's not your fault that you got cheated on, but you also weren't really paying attention that well either. So it's a slippery slope.

John [00:09:25]: I mean, it astounds me how many of my coaching clients that are men, they will tell me that they're gonna get engaged. They're gonna ask the woman they're dating to marry them, and they're like, I think she'll. I hope she'll say yes. And how do you not know the answer? You're wrong. You're not there. You do not get engaged. You don't know the answer. You don't ask the question. That's the question for sure.

Nicole [00:09:50]: And that's what actually always strikes me. You know those videos on the Internet when guy proposes and she says no? How did you even get to that situation?

Lana [00:09:58]: It's like, what, did you just meet, like, a. So that's why she's saying.

Nicole [00:10:01]: But actually, John, you said that you work with men, and I don't know how often you get this question. I get this question a lot. How to know woman's body count.

John [00:10:11]: Oh, yeah. Definitely get that. Yeah.

Nicole [00:10:14]: So what do you say?

John [00:10:15]: Well, what I say about it is.

Nicole [00:10:18]: Don'T think about it.

John [00:10:19]: Well, yeah, I mean, I Tell them that realistically it doesn't matter. It matters. Like you can look at that and it can give you some indication of her past, but which you should take into account. But at the same time you should look at who is she now and how is she acting now. Right? Because it's quite possible. Like the equivalent thing I tell guys is like okay, at one point you were whatever you call a blue pilled nice guy, right. And now you're this alpha guy, right. So do you want a woman to be like, oh well this guy, he used to be a little nerdy guy. So I can't date him because he used to be really pathetic. Now he might look like he's strong and be a masculine man, but he used to be pathetic. It's the same thing if a woman in her past, she had a high body count, she made a lot of mistakes, she shouldn't have done that. Sure, that's fine, we can say, but you've also made mistakes. But now she's the person who has more respect for herself, who doesn't just sleep with guys on the first date. And she's learned from that. Then there's no reason to really to say oh, she has too high of a body count. It becomes a ridiculous thing. I understand the psychology of it, of thinking, okay, the past can predict the future. Yes, but you have to look at that. But then also look at who is the person today. Have they learned from that? How are they carrying themselves today? Right. So that's what I tell them. But what's your opinion on it?

Nicole [00:11:50]: I'm actually saying how to do it, how to find out.

John [00:11:53]: Oh, how to find out. Okay, is this the multiply by three things?

Nicole [00:11:58]: Yeah, there's a formula. Now first of all, I actually disagree on you.

John [00:12:04]: Okay, okay.

Nicole [00:12:04]: And I agree that yes, what happened in the past and especially if the person made work on that, did some homework there, admitted that what they did was wrong and they willing not to do this again. That's great.

John [00:12:16]: Right.

Nicole [00:12:17]: But also I think it's not really comparable examples what you say like being a nerd and grow up into successful guy. It's a self growth path. You know when you had like you made mistakes which are influencing because like when you're nerdy, it's not really negatively influencing your future.

John [00:12:39]: True, true.

Nicole [00:12:40]: But unfortunately having a lot of partners does because why for example? Because I'm talking to the guys and they explaining why a body count matters to them.

John [00:12:48]: Right?

Nicole [00:12:49]: Because when a woman slept with a lot of guys, first of all she very Easily gets frustrated in the sex in the bedroom because she already tried multiple different things. Secondly, she already frustrated in guys in general. Plus it's. She has a very high probability of certain diseases. Then she probably has some sort of problem with the self respect and self worth and will project that on him in the future.

John [00:13:21]: Right.

Nicole [00:13:21]: And plus a lot of guys believe again, I don't say that this is true. A lot of guys believe that if women still had a past like that, even if she did some work, it might happen in the future. Again, because that's in her nature.

John [00:13:34]: Sure.

Nicole [00:13:34]: Because that's totally. It's like a norm for her. It's like somewhere wired in her even maybe some conscious.

John [00:13:40]: Right, right.

Nicole [00:13:41]: And that's why. And that's what might lead to cheating and things like that. And a lot of guys are worried about and they think like oh what if are my kids even my kids and things like that. And some when you listen those arguments you think like, you know what, it probably silly but at some point you also hear why guys asking this. So and I think men definitely have a right to choose any woman they want as the same as a woman has a right to choose any woman they want which aligns with their goals and values. So and if the guys say like Lana, how do you say if the woman had a high body count? I just answer because that's the request they came to me, I'm helping them. So how do you. How can you tell if the woman had a high body count? Ask her about just sex in general and don't ask her like what's your body count? Because some guys do unfortunately and it's stupid, you're not going to end up in that.

John [00:14:39]: But then you multiply that number by three and then you get the real.

Nicole [00:14:42]: Yeah, exactly. So it's obvious. It's always what if the answer is one? It's like not one. So you would say like you know what, I heard this story online. Can you imagine these girls slept with 20 guys. Can you imagine that's do you think it's a big number? So try to understand. Don't ask her about her, but ask about just what do you think? What's a good number for her? What she thinks is acceptable number.

John [00:15:13]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:15:14]: Also how she sees sexual relationships in general is that nothing forbidden is that easy to talk to. She can very freely enter that conversation that topic on the first date. Or she say like you know what, let's slow down a little bit. I'm not ready to talk about this on the first Date, which I. While I barely know you. Right. That's a good sign. I think I agree with Nicole this, because there are. You can't. There are certain things you can't find out asking direct questions, but you can by seeing where they are in general, what is their personality, what are their values. And based on that, you can make an equation. Yeah, you're not going to know exact number, but you know what? If it's high, she probably doesn't know the exact number either. But you will have an idea that is too much for you or is acceptable or it's where you want it to be.

John [00:16:10]: Yeah, yeah, I agree. I mean, I think that's a good way to find out. I would still say, though, that, I mean, it's tough because I deal with this a lot and it's like, I get it, and I get the, like, I mean, obviously, if it's a ridiculously high number, that indicates what is ridiculously.

Nicole [00:16:27]: High number for you.

John [00:16:28]: I mean, today, like, a ridiculous high number is like over 100. Right. At that point, it's like, okay, there's definitely something psychologically wrong. Right. Whereas it's. It's pretty common for a lot of women today in their 20s to rack up 20 to 50, because maybe they're dating guys once, once or twice a month, you know, two different. A different guy or whatever. And I mean, it's reasonable after even a couple of dates that they're going to sleep with a guy. Like, that's. And if they are continually in the dating market for some period of time.

Nicole [00:17:04]: The reason why I ask, because for some guys, five is a high number.

John [00:17:08]: Yeah, I know. Yeah. Which is. It's which I get like, I mean, look, on this podcast, what do we tell women? We tell women do not sleep with a guy on the first date. In fact, probably not even this. Like, you need to. You should only sleep with a guy if you feel like it could go in the direction of getting married, because you should have a high respect for yourself. And it's not. It's not good for you. For a lot of the reasons you said as well is like, I think the whole. The sex thing is that women's sexual experience goes from 0 to 100. Men's goes from 1 to 5. Almost everything's a 5, right? So if a woman has tasted 90 and you're an average dude, then she's not going to be very satisfied. I'm not saying that you can't work it out and figure it out and get better in the bedroom, but those are valid reasons. But I do think that, you know, it's. I would hate to see guys filter out women because their body count is a little bit higher than what they want. If that's a good woman, that would be a good relationship for them. So I agree with you. Like, you know, I think that it's important for them to have an idea of it and then make a decision. But I would also say that guys shouldn't just automatically be like, okay, that's a filter out. It's like, yeah, okay, if you like the woman, if you have a good connection, and then you find out the body count's higher than what you expected. Maybe it's in the 30s or 40s or whatever number that you're like, okay, that's a little bit on the high side. See what kind of person she is. See how good the connection relationship is. See if she's changed, if she's learned some things from her past, you know what I mean? And then make a decision. Of course it's going to influence it. Right. You know, but that's my thinking behind it, you know, so.

Nicole [00:18:57]: No, that's definitely valid. But I think also what surprised a lot of guys is that the number is much higher than they have and they compare it to themselves and they're like, and I'm a guy, I'm supposed to sleep with a lot of human. Because that's how we socially, we rank ourselves as guys.

Lana [00:19:16]: Yeah, yeah.

Nicole [00:19:16]: And we still live. Even we, like we talked earlier, live in the modern society. We still believe that the guys are those who like chasing women. They have more experience and they were supposed to have more partners than the women. And when the guy is actually hearing or realizing, he's like, oh, wait, she's like, she outnumbered me.

John [00:19:39]: I think part of it too is that. And a lot of women don't even realize this too, because for a guy to get laid, it's hard, right? Like, a guy has to.

Lana [00:19:49]: He has to put in the work.

John [00:19:49]: He's got to put in the work. If you go up to pick up a girl at a nightclub, you gotta, like, most girls are going to tell you no, they're going to reject you. Then you got to spend time with her. You got to be smooth enough to get her back to your place.

Lana [00:20:00]: Like John analogy, it's like fishing, right? Women are the fish. Like, we're just, we're just living our lives and then the worm comes and we're like, okay, but a guy has to like, get his fishing pole and set it up and Throw it out there and like try to make it presentable to the woman and the woman then, you know, maybe he has to reel it back in, he has to try again. Like we just get to exist. And then if a guy's like, hey, here I am. And we're like, oh, okay.

John [00:20:24]: So if a guy has a high body count to some degree, it's impressive. Obviously, like ridiculous numbers is still ridiculous, but it's not something to try to strive for, but it at least shows. Okay, this guy, he must have something going on if he's able to get this many women. But a woman having a high body count doesn't indicate anything about her except a lack of self respect. Because if a woman wants to have a body count of 1,000, any woman can have a body count of 1,000. Like literally, she can go to a nightclub, tap a guy on the shoulder and be like, will you come home with me? And 90% of the guys are going to say yes. Right? So I think that's where it's kind of the thing where guys would be like, if they see a woman with a very high body count compared to them, they're thinking, well, yeah, but it's like she could, it's easy for her, she's not being very choosy in her partners. Where you know, it's a different. And a lot of women will call it a. Right, yeah, women will call it a double standard, but it's not really because like you said, it's the difference between a fish and a fisherman. It's like you don't be like, oh well, the fish is able to get caught. Okay, so if you've been caught a lot of times as a fish, that doesn't impress me. If you're a fisherman and caught a lot of fish, that's a different thing. It's not a double standard. But I'm making the other case now.

Nicole [00:21:39]: No, no, but I think this is great you said because maybe a lot of women who are watching this and they think like, oh, these guys. But it's good to hear the opposite argument and know why guys, they don't think about this because they heard it somewhere on the Internet. It comes from somewhere deep inside. It comes from some values, it comes from some ideas and there is quite decent reasoning, like John said. And it's good to know because once you know it, you know how to work on that. You know how to take it into your advantage rather than disadvantage message.

John [00:22:15]: Right? For sure, yeah. That's why I mean it is important we talk about it too because we did episode for women telling for young women saying, hey, be careful in your 20s, don't just party and whatever because it's going to catch up to you when you're trying to date a higher value man. And then he's going to ask the question or he's going to say, what do you think is the high? You think 20s high. And he's going to figure it out and then you know, you might lose a guy that, that would have been a great guy.

Nicole [00:22:43]: I think there's truth and I think actually it sounds unfortunate, but I think more successful the man is, the more important that question becomes.

John [00:22:52]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:22:52]: Yeah. So. And I also think that this is great advice for young women and another reason because like what is the reasoning for, for this, for hookups, for being free and the experience different things because like I'm just experiencing, I'm having fun, I'm doing something like cool, nice, pleasurous. But let's be honest and I am sure John can tell us when you with a guy on the first date, he's not going to care about you and your feelings and how awesome the experience was for you. Right?

Lana [00:23:27]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:23:28]: The only thing guy cares on the first date if you have sex on the first date is like his own pleasure.

Lana [00:23:33]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:23:33]: And when women say like, oh, because I have like so much great sex. But you can't have a great sex with a person who you just met who doesn't care about you.

Lana [00:23:41]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:23:42]: Doesn't even want to figure out what buttons to push in order to make. But when he wants you in some sort of meaningful relationships or especially if you're in a marriage, it's not just like his climax matters, but also your pleasure. And actually he feels much better when he sees that you are feeling good.

Lana [00:24:00]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:24:00]: And I think that quality of that sex is much higher than those. So I would rather girls try to look, get married and experience very high quality sex with one person husband rather than 10 different guys who she just met and don't care about her.

John [00:24:20]: Exactly.

Lana [00:24:20]: Well, that's what I tell John all the time. I'm like, I don't know. You know, a lot of times it's not worth risking it as a woman because you don't know if it's going to be good or not. So why are you even gonna risk it? But I do think that I've had some friends talking about like, you know, going on a certain amount of dates and then having sex. I think that unfortunately a lot of women know that that's what Men want. So they try to use having sex with them to get the man, but it doesn't work.

Nicole [00:24:47]: Yeah, it actually works opposite.

John [00:24:49]: The opposite.

Lana [00:24:50]: Like, they think, oh, if I give him what he wants, then he'll want me, and then it doesn't work out. And then they're like, what did I do wrong?

John [00:24:58]: And.

Lana [00:24:58]: And even they'll be like, well, I waited till the fifth date or something. Like, a lot of times it's even when they waited, but it's like they're not using the actual five dates to.

Nicole [00:25:10]: Hook to get him to invest.

Lana [00:25:13]: Yeah, he has to invest enough where now if you're giving him what he wants, you're pretty sure he's not just going to run away again. Things can still happen. Even if you're like, I know this guy really likes me. I can tell by the way he's acting. He could still run away after you hook up with him. But they're missing that part. And so they're like, well, I waited five dates. Why did he never call me back? Yeah, exactly. But it's like, you're not doing the other parts. And plus, you can't give him what he wants thinking that that's gonna get you the relationship with the man. And a lot of times they think that because they know that men want sex and that's what they're after. But then they're baffled why giving him the thing and waiting didn't work the way that it's supposed to.

John [00:25:57]: I'll give you an honest confession right from. From back in my, you know, wild days, is oftentimes as a guy, as soon as she came back to my place and she took off her clothes, I was like, all right, I won. Like, I'm already like, now I'm just doing the thing just to do the thing. But that all I was really after was just winning.

Lana [00:26:23]: Getting what you wanted, just the conquering.

John [00:26:25]: I succeeded because guys are very motivated by. Even when I'm doing sales, right? Because I'm doing sales now, I'm like, if I get them to sign the thing, I mean, yeah, the money's nice, but I don't even care about the money. It's the. I got the sale. That's what I care about is I got the sale. It could be for $5. I don't care how much money it is. I got the sale. I talked to them on the phone, convinced them to buy. They bought the thing that I won. Right? And so that's why. That. What you're saying is true, is because a Woman thinks, okay, she's giving the guy what he wants. He's not even really even there for the sex. He's there to win, to conquer. He's like, okay, he's got the thing. You gave it up. And now he's like, okay, I won. This woman likes me enough to take her clothes off and have sex with me. I'm a man. I'm the man. Move on to the next one. That's what, that's the real psychology of it.

Nicole [00:27:17]: I'm so happy that you brought this up because that's one of the things I'm talking working with women because they think like, okay, I'm dating because, like, what's the number one problem for guys is usually get on the first date. Yeah. To get a woman's attention.

John [00:27:32]: Right.

Nicole [00:27:32]: The number one problem for women is to get the relationship.

John [00:27:36]: Yes. Yeah.

Nicole [00:27:37]: Or what they say they call that problem. Men can get the first date, the women can get the third date. Yeah.

John [00:27:42]: Right.

Nicole [00:27:43]: Yeah. So a lot of them is like, how, how can I? Because I'm dating all these guys, but it leads to nowhere. They don't want anything serious. They don't want to commit. Yeah. That's what the women say. Like, men don't want to commit. But no, men want to commit. They just don't want to commit with you because you're doing something wrong. And you're doing exactly what Nicole said. And just when I work one on one. And plus to my show, Dating Makeover, when people come to me and we talk about their dating problems and women like, I can't tell you enough how many times this happened. And they said, yeah, I can find. It's like, okay. When they have sex and they're like, second, third date. I was like, of course, of course. Why would he. Like John said he already scored, he already got what he wanted. Why would he continue? And I say like, you have to wait for at least. And Nicole, you said five days. I think that's very soon. I say like three, six months. And everyone like, no, it's impossible. The guy will run off. I can't. I was like, that's exactly the screwed logic which betrays you.

Lana [00:28:45]: Yeah, that's interesting.

Nicole [00:28:47]: Yes, of course. Absolutely. There will be guys who would run away and they say like, oh, okay, she's unachievable. I would not going to even waste time with her. But they would run away 100%. Even if you have a like sexual relationships with them.

John [00:29:00]: True.

Nicole [00:29:01]: But the guy who is serious, you see like a gem. Look at her. She's not sleeping around. She doesn't like, she doesn't allow me to get in her bed. That means like she doesn't allow any other man. She's a wife material, you know, so she says, like, okay, she's serious. So the guys who have intention, who want to commit, they actually respect you more for that. Yeah, they still will try to maybe your place. Maybe my place. Because of course they will keep trying. Yeah, that's totally not. And it's totally natural. It's totally normal. It's actually, it's a good thing if the guy doesn't even try. That's probably. But that's the thing. That's why it's important to have boundaries. And that's woman's job to say no. Yeah, I like you, I'm very interested in you, but I'm not trading yet. Yeah, there are certain things which can be like feel more ready. Like for example, something like that. Or.

John [00:29:54]: Yeah, exactly.

Nicole [00:29:55]: Maybe you have other ideas. Maybe like certain things, whatever. Again, what's your goal in the relationship? If you want to get married or if you want financial support. So anything. But you have to. First of all, you will be one of the few. Because we talk about that women usually go in the bedroom like very quickly. Yeah, you'll stand out, which is already a good thing for you. And secondly, serious guys and successful guys, they would respect you. And you really stuck in their mind. John, like you said, you're doing sales. Like imagine you have a client who really interested. And you know, they're really interested.

John [00:30:31]: Right.

Nicole [00:30:31]: But they still need to think.

John [00:30:33]: Right.

Nicole [00:30:33]: They still need to like you, to convince them. They still want you to tell more about your service.

John [00:30:39]: Right.

Nicole [00:30:40]: How would that make you feel? Would you just drop them or would you like still like try to pursue. And when you finally say like, okay, let's sign, you'll be like, yes, I nailed them.

John [00:30:50]: The key is whether or not they're showing interest. Because if they're just being resistant. And I think that's the thing about with women too is like, if you're gonna hold back and not have sex with a guy, especially for three months, you better be showing a high degree of interest in that guy. You, that guy better feel like you are in love with him, that you appreciate him. That. Because if you're. Because what happens is this is whole red pill or black pill response to that is they're like, oh, well, if you are attractive enough, she would sleep with you right away because she didn't make other guys wait. In her past, she had guys that she didn't make weight because she was actually sexually attracted to them. She's not as attracted to you. That's why she's making you wait, because she wants money from you or attention from you. But if she goes to the nightclub and Chad picks her up, she's going home with him that night because she did that in the past. And so she's making you wait. So that's what their argument is. But like I said, the counter to that is if she's showing super high interest in you. Just like you said, like, if a sales prospect is like, oh, wow, I really love this. This is awesome. I mean, I still have some questions. I got to figure out my finances. But I really love what you're doing. I'm definitely wanting to find out more about this. Then, yeah, then I'm staying and I'm going to do another call and another call or however many calls it takes because he's still pumping me up that he's right. But if he's just like, I don't know, whatever, and doesn't seem to show much interest, I don't really want to follow up with the guy, then I'm just bugging him. It's a waste of my time. And it's the same thing, I think, with women when a guy's dating.

Nicole [00:32:28]: Yeah, I totally agree with you. And of course that's why I said, like, yes, I like I interested in you. But no, let's wait because, yeah, if you just let go. Yeah, what is it? It's been two months. Okay, so she just see that he just see that you come there for, I don't know, a meal or whatever activities. So you absolutely have to. But I mean, do you really have to pretend that you're into the guy if you're going on a date with him? You don't. I mean, you probably like him. Anyway. Just again what we talked earlier, be more generous with the compliments. Show that you and another important thing, you have to show that you're in exclusive relationships and to just to say like, you know what do you see anyone? I don't see any other guys because I'm not interested in anyone except you because you really amazing. Blah, blah, blah and long list, as long as it's better and say like, yeah, you know, you're so amazing. I really want to be with you. I think you're the man. And I'm not seeing anyone. I'm not interested in other men. And he'll say like, well, if you're so Interested, let's go. And you know my address and what would you say? Because that's what women say. Like, yeah, but what if he'll tell you that he's like, okay, I'm ready after some certain commitment.

John [00:33:40]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:33:41]: Because I will be. I'm happy to enter like a relationship with my future husband, fiance and stuff like that. And response to those, our favorite black red pill guys when they say like, oh, she would sleep with other guys because she did a. How does he know? How does she know what's happening in her future? But if it's so bad, if at least it's so long and the number is so big that everyone knows and you can't hide it, then my strategy probably not gonna work. But for majority of women who watching this, it will work. Because guys don't know your past. And plus, unless if you bragging about that, which I don't think you should.

John [00:34:23]: You call yourself a born again virgin. Not the best thing to call yourself because then you're indic that in the past you were slutty and now you're not. Not a good plan. Then the guy's like, okay, so I'm not special enough. Okay, for sure. Yeah.

Nicole [00:34:39]: So my advice was more for women who just try to enter serious relationships and maybe they just don't have that many guys, but they just like try to figure out why. Why am I going on the dates which don't lead anywhere.

John [00:34:53]: Yeah, no, that makes sense. That's good actually, because I'm more inclined to agree with you now about the like three months to six months. I think that's actually at first that.

Lana [00:35:01]: Seemed like a little shame because I thought that you would be like, what?

John [00:35:05]: I mean, it's long.

Nicole [00:35:06]: No man says no to that. Of course, sooner is better, but again, girls make it on, man. Yeah. Because you want a leader, you want a dominant man. Say like it all depends on you how fast we're going to have it. Because you know what it takes for me to get. Yeah. This thing, you know, this shiny thing. That's what it makes me.

Lana [00:35:26]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:35:27]: If you really. If you really so into that, if you really want to see me with you in the bedroom, you know what it takes.

John [00:35:33]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:35:33]: So it's only after you. So.

John [00:35:37]: Yeah. As long as she's showing the sexual interest in the guy, I think because if he feels like, okay, she's not attracted to me, but she's dating me and she's making me wait, then the guy might feel insecure and be like, if I was. If she was Attracted to a guy, she wouldn't make him wait this long. But if she, if he feels like, oh, she really wants to go, you know, to have sex with me, but she's.

Nicole [00:36:02]: No, just her morality.

John [00:36:03]: I can't, I can't do this. Even though I want to. I can't do it because I have principles, whatever it is, then that's a respectable thing. Then the guy's going to want her more for sure. He's going to be way more hooked, you know? Yeah. Cause normally I would have said. Before I ever heard you say that, I would have said, oh, that's too long. Three, five dates, whatever, that's long enough. But I mean, realistically, if Nicole made me wait three months, six months, a year, I would still pursue her for sure.

Lana [00:36:31]: I think it was technically, like three months. Well, yeah, technically, because we met and he lived here and I lived in Florida, so then we didn't see each other for three months and then.

John [00:36:44]: Yeah, so yeah, technically. But. But yeah, but it does make sense. I think it is. And you will stand out for sure as a, as a, as a woman. Yeah, yeah, I think it makes sense. I agree. That's my new. And you got me on that.

Nicole [00:36:57]: The quality of that encounter will be much, much higher for both men and women when you wait longer.

John [00:37:04]: Yeah, yeah, that's true.

Nicole [00:37:05]: It's like, becomes more valuable.

Lana [00:37:07]: Yeah, well, and I especially think it's important for women because I do feel like sometimes they feel used when they're like, I waited and I thought he liked me at the five dates or whatever. And then they're like, what the heck? Like, I liked him enough to give him this thing. I wanted a relationship with him. But then they feel used and then now they have another notch in their belt that like, they were hoping that was the last one because they would have been happy being with him, but they can't control that part. But like you said, if you make him wait long enough and invest long enough and are interested in him, then by the time that happens, then you're way more likely that that is going to be the last person that you're hooking up with and the person you're hooking up with forever. So.

Nicole [00:37:49]: And Nicola, I think what's also important, yes, this is important, but only waiting doesn't work. You have to be like, doing other stuff. And like, for example, here, oftentimes girls also think like, okay, I'm start dating this guy. But it's. He's not serious. But what did you tell him? Because girls always say I don't look for anything serious. I'm just, let's see how it flows. Let's see where it leads us to. And the guy, when he hears that, because you think like, okay, I'm afraid to commit to something because I'm afraid to just, let's see, let's talk, learn more about each other and see if we can be a couple. That's what woman thinks when she says that.

John [00:38:30]: Exactly.

Nicole [00:38:30]: But when guys here, okay, I'm only for hookups. I don't want any serious relationships. So let's just. Let's see only how long it's gonna take and how much effort from you as a man it takes.

Lana [00:38:43]: That's true.

Nicole [00:38:44]: And that's what women. And then they think, like, why? Because they think that guys have the same perspective, but it's oftentimes different.

John [00:38:52]: And I'll tell you, I'll tell you as a guy, 95% of women sleep with the guy under the right conditions on the first date. 95%. Like, I mean, it would be rare to not like.

Nicole [00:39:05]: So that's your experience.

John [00:39:06]: Yeah, that's true. That's how it is. So what you're saying is very extreme, which it should be. And it also goes to say that, like, if you're waiting three months or six months to get that level of sureness about a person and commitment, that it will keep your body count low and then you won't have to worry about that. So I think that is actually good advice. Yeah.

Nicole [00:39:28]: And another thing, to prove my point, I don't know if you guys ever come across these videos, but I see them a lot where women say that, oh, remember back in the day, guy should present the land or present this and that. Or he has to travel for two weeks to see a woman, just to see her wrist, you know, and this level of commitment, where are all this men? And the very first comment with the thousands of likes is usually, yeah, but the women usually wouldn't sleep on a first date, first meet. So they would wait until the marriage.

John [00:40:03]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:40:03]: And that's just guys, pretty simple. They tell you. They tell you what bothers them. They tell you what's important to them.

Lana [00:40:10]: That's so. And I have a question for both of you guys, though, because I'm thinking, so if a guy and a woman are on a date and then they like each other and you know she's gonna wait three months.

John [00:40:24]: Right.

Lana [00:40:26]: Do you believe that the guy is not gonna hook up with other people in those three months?

John [00:40:30]: That's a good question.

Nicole [00:40:32]: If he will. Then he's not meant to be. He never will be able to build a relationship with you.

Lana [00:40:36]: Which I agree with you. But it's like, what if you don't know? And like, you found out. I mean, again, you would break up with him because I agree with you. Because I think a lot of times women are afraid to lose a man. And that's why, too. They're afraid to be like, I'm looking for a committed relationship because they're scared it's gonna scare them off. And then they're giving him the sex because they're scared that if they don't, he'll leave. Or they want to wait the three months like you said, but they're scared that something's going to happen. And I agree that, like, if he does that, then he's not the one for you, because that's the mindset that you really have to have where, you know, if it doesn't work out, like, let's say you're waiting the three months. And he does do that. I agree with you. He's not the one for you. And that the right one would wait. I guess my thing is just like John was talking about how he initially was like, three months, that's a long time. It's like.

Nicole [00:41:24]: And you're like, did he sleep with other women while we were chatting? But it's like, I'm like, oh, oh, no, no, no.

John [00:41:34]: We've already talked about that.

Nicole [00:41:35]: I know I'm just using you guys, but.

John [00:41:37]: Okay. But to give an answer to that, I think this is how I would think about this. And I'm curious about your opinion as well. So I would think of it this way. Okay, so you as a woman, right, you're dating multiple guys. You're not sleeping with any of them initially to see which one going to be good guy, like, you should. I wouldn't say you just date one guy and then wait three months and only date that one guy. You're dating multiple guys until you have a commitment where you're in an exclusive relationship with one of them because you want to see that. And then you're still making him wait because you're still seeing it out. But in the same vein, the guy is dating multiple women. Now, if he's sleeping with the multiple women that he's dating, that's his business. It doesn't really matter because you're also dating multiple people even though you're not sleeping with them. Again.

Lana [00:42:27]: But is it not hypocritical?

John [00:42:29]: Fishermen, Fish versus fishermen, right? However, at the point where you get into an exclusive relationship with the guy, he better not be sleeping with multiple people or dating anyone at all, then you're exclusive. So when you're not exclusive, you can do whatever you want. He can do whatever he wants. I think it doesn't change anything, you know, I'm saying, like, like he'll wait for you to be with. Because like, if I put myself in that scenario, right, Which I guess I kind of was in this scenario, like to a degree, right? So, you know, it's like, yeah, if you're dating, just starting to date a woman who's going to make you wait, like who? Like, that's great. Like, but you only gone on one date or two dates with her, you're not going to give up your whole life. And if you're used to sleeping with women in order to because you've just met this woman, but after like a few dates or enough time where you're like, okay, I really like this woman better than any other women and I know what her standards are. And I know that she's going to want to be in a committed relationship and I know that she's going to want to have a strong relationship and commitment for me before she's going to have sex. Then I'm willing to drop all that and to date exclusively that one woman and be with her. And wait, does that. I mean, to me that makes sense.

Nicole [00:43:49]: But I totally agree with you. And I think like earlier we talked about equality, but there are certain things where we're not equal, we just take. And I know like a lot of women try to pretend that they totally careless, they don't give a damn about the sex is just like physical for them. But let's be honest, it's not. For men it is. Oftentimes it could be like totally physical, mechanical. They couldn't even forget about next day. But for women, just here an example, John. If you went on a date, imagine you did not have any call. You went on a date on the first date you had a woman and she didn't call you back next day, would you feel upset?

John [00:44:30]: I'm imagining I didn't have Nicole. It makes me.

Nicole [00:44:35]: Because otherwise I can't. I can't even imagine this.

John [00:44:38]: So give me the question again.

Nicole [00:44:40]: I know, that was so stunning. It's like totally blocking. You went on the first date. Okay, you had sex and then woman just didn't call you back. How'd that make you feel?

John [00:44:50]: I mean, yeah, it happens.

Nicole [00:44:53]: There's always another one.

John [00:44:54]: Yeah, I Got the notch in my belt.

Nicole [00:44:56]: Yeah, exactly. But Nicole, you went on a date and everything was great. You like sex, everything. But he doesn't call you back. You feel used, right? Yeah. And that's how we. And that's what it comes down to. John's what he said that yeah, he probably will sleep with other women. But before you enter exclusive relationship. Because you can't enter exclusive relationship on the first date. He can't commit to you after like a cup of coffee and just asking you a couple questions. But I agree, like when you both decided that you don't see anyone else, then you're already into relationship which is require certain rules and certain agreements. But before you enter that you free to date whoever you want. And he is dated to whoever he wants. The only difference between sex is that for him sex is just a part of, I don't know, seeing woman and just like casual living. But for you, when you told one guy when let's wait because I'm not ready. But the next night you went in a bar with your girls and you pick up the hottie one and you had something with them your, your own. Like you betraying yourself.

Lana [00:46:12]: Right.

Nicole [00:46:12]: You know, you screwing your own mind.

Lana [00:46:14]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:46:15]: Because somewhere deep inside you would ask yourself at some point like okay, why exactly did I push away that good guy and slept with that guy?

Lana [00:46:24]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:46:25]: So you really have to stick to that. If you say that no encounters before, like something serious, you have to do that.

Lana [00:46:31]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:46:32]: And I don't know, like every woman is different, different drive. But three months, it's not that. Like a little bit of killing, you know, women can handle that.

Lana [00:46:42]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:46:43]: So that's what I'm getting. And I think it might sound like it's not fair and it's not equal. And it is in because we take sex differently.

John [00:46:55]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:46:56]: We have a different, I don't know, perception on that.

John [00:47:01]: Yeah.

Lana [00:47:01]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:47:01]: And plus what I said that if you vocalize something, certain rules, but you your own yourself not sticking to them, then what are you expecting from guys?

Lana [00:47:12]: Right.

Nicole [00:47:13]: How can they respect you if you don't respect yourself? Because you stop respecting yourself at some point because you're lying to yourself.

Lana [00:47:19]: Right.

John [00:47:20]: Yeah.

Lana [00:47:20]: I guess I was just thinking of like when it get got to the committed point.

Nicole [00:47:25]: I totally agree. Thank you so much John for saying that you absolutely have to date multiple guys in the beginning.

John [00:47:31]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:47:32]: Don't just like stick and to one guy because what if he is the wrong person?

Lana [00:47:36]: Right.

Nicole [00:47:37]: Just don't sleep because like a lot of women like well you say date. Yes, date. But just don't get, go home with them.

John [00:47:44]: Yeah, right. Yeah.

Nicole [00:47:45]: Try to figure out, try to filter them because. Because you are absolutely have to filter. But in order to filter someone you have to see people, you have to communicate with them.

Lana [00:47:54]: Right, that makes sense.

John [00:47:56]: Yeah. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. Because it's a lot to think to think about, like how does this work? But I think, yeah, but once you.

Nicole [00:48:03]: I think once you understand it and get that dating becomes quite straightforward and easy because like right now it looks maybe confusing for a lot of people because they don't really know what they're doing. They don't have rules and boundaries to stick to. But if you know exactly what you want first from relationship, what are important rules and points for you, then everything is pretty easy peasy. And actually your partners will respect you for that because you're grounded person who knows exactly what you want. How many times and I'm sure like in the comments are people tell us how many times you went on a date and you see that person, they're totally confused. They don't know what they want from this life.

John [00:48:41]: Right.

Nicole [00:48:42]: They don't know. And you, it's a, it's a huge turn off. You're like, you know what, you figure yourself out first and then we'll talk.

Lana [00:48:49]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:48:49]: But when you see someone who know like, okay, I wanted this in life, I wanna, I have these goals, I wanna projects like that, this, this, I wanna, I see my family like that, that you're like, that's we have a material to work with. Yeah. Because we know what we're facing.

Lana [00:49:04]: Yeah, that's true.

John [00:49:05]: Now what about the guys? Their biggest challenge of getting that first date. What kind of advice do you normally give to those guys?

Nicole [00:49:14]: Okay, oftentimes I like this comparison. Oftentimes guys, when they try to date, they go to a girl they like, they get rejected and that immediately turns them off. Maybe they do it two, three times and that's it. They're like, you know what, I better be single. And I like to compare it to a medical student. When you just enter the medical college, nobody lets you perform open heart surgery on the first date.

John [00:49:41]: I hope.

Lana [00:49:43]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:49:44]: So you have to learn a lot of theory. Then you have to practice on the dead bodies then. Or like animals or whatever on the frogs. And then you would be some sort of intern like washing like doing some really terrible stuff, which you're not. Not I guess terrible for you because you a doctor in your mind. Then at some point you'll do something with nurses to do. And only then you do something what young, uneducated, like assistant levels do. And only then at some point you maybe, I don't know, it takes 15 years or something from medical student to heart surgeon to actually get in order to perform. So it takes time.

John [00:50:20]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:50:20]: And there's a reason for that. Because they want to make sure that you know all of the steps you can do, all of the things which can lead you to that. So dating like that because a lot of guys, especially not experienced one, they see a chat. Yeah. Who just like casually walks to the bar to the girl, like just exchange couple phrases and that's it. She's already going to and with him to his place and he's like, how did he do it? Tell me your lines. That's what the guys tell me. Lana, tell me the lines. What? Pick up lines. Share with us. I was like, I can tell you all the. Yeah, it's not about lines. It's about your experience, how you're approaching, about your confidence and what I'm getting with that that you have to first practice. So start with just saying compliments to random women who you're not attracted to.

John [00:51:09]: Right.

Nicole [00:51:09]: Because even if they like say whatever, you're not going to be hurt. You'll be like, okay, good day. But start with those who you don't find attractive. Maybe even older ladies, grandmas, whatever. Just tell them nice thing about them. Then gradually move to maybe girls of your age. But again, it doesn't have to be like really the one you're attracted to get really comfortable. Familiar to the point that it just Because a lot of guys, when they see a woman and they're like, okay, I'm gonna approach.

John [00:51:37]: Right.

Nicole [00:51:37]: And there's a heart beating.

Lana [00:51:40]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:51:41]: Of course you can't do anything in that state of mind. You have to feel comfortable. And in order to feel comfortable, you have to practice. And why? The only reason between guys who don't get the women and the guys who easily them is just the number of the tries.

Lana [00:51:57]: Exactly.

Nicole [00:51:57]: Because this chats, they just like start earlier. They just did a lot. And actually, you know what? If that makes you feel better, they get a lot of rejections. They just keep moving.

John [00:52:05]: Exactly.

Nicole [00:52:06]: And eventually they have less and less rejections because they just get better at that. Because dating is a skill and approaching someone is a skill and talking to someone is a skill. So. And after you get comfortable with those who you relatively find attractive, try to get more into encounter with the women who are feeling attractive. Try to say Nice things to them. And when the compliments go naturally, it doesn't sound cheesy. Then like, you know what? I know like a really good coffee place around there. You want to grab a coffee and she already opened up. She's like, sure. And then step by step and you already, you're not going to even realize that you're already there. You would feel like the girls already jumping on you. You don't really have to do anything. It's all because of the number of the truck trials you have to do.

John [00:52:53]: That's true. That's very good.

Nicole [00:52:55]: Don't start with the open heart surgery. Start with medical school.

John [00:52:59]: Yeah, guys don't realize how much skill it takes. It's a lot more than what they think it is. I did a video a long time ago and people got so upset I said that you need to talk to. You need to approach 300 women to get laid one time as a guy. And they're like, that's a ridiculous number. Why would I. It's not even worth it. The juice isn't worth the squeeze. And I'm like, that's what the. I mean, maybe it'll be 250 or 200 for you, maybe 500.

Nicole [00:53:25]: But that's where I start. With those who you're not attracted to because it's hard when you attracted someone and you get rejection. It's hard. That's why doing it 300 times, it's very painful. What if someone who you're not attracted to see, not responding, you'll be like, okay, whatever. Yeah, I did, I did my homework today. Yeah, I'm like 299, like further away.

John [00:53:55]: From my goal and even for the date. Because one thing I encountered too with guys that I, that I coach is that because they're so dating app centric, that's all that they use. They go on a date with a.

Nicole [00:54:06]: Woman and they know what to say.

John [00:54:07]: And they only have one. They only have first dates. They're like, I've had guys that are like, I've been on 50 first dates. And I'm like, that's because you're not approaching women in real life is because yes, they're seeing your pictures and they like you and they go on a date with you, but you have no idea how to interact. You're nervous the whole time. You don't like, you need to go and talk to women at a bar or whatever it is. Try to pick up women in person so you gain that skill. Cause they're like, oh, well, there's no spark. It's like, no. On a date, your job as the man is to create the spark. The woman doesn't realize that you're creating the spark. You create the spark by your charisma and being smooth and that you have success. Like, you know, women are filtering on. This guy is experience with women. This guy's not subconsciously by how you're acting around them. Or, you know, it's like, oh, this guy's not been around a lot of hot women because he acts weird and awkward. Or this guy, he's unfazed by it. But you're absolutely right. But you cannot get that besides experience, you have to go and do the work.

Lana [00:55:08]: I really like the idea too, of doing it to not as threatening people. And it also goes back to last episode with like, just spreading the kindness, right? Like, you probably made that grandma's day by saying something nice to her and you're gaining something from it and helping somebody have a better day. So it's like, it's a win, win. And then you'll have more confidence because that is truly what you need to be good at dating. And women should have confidence too. And it's not the same as them going around and telling people grandpas, like, you look hot, grandpa, or something.

Nicole [00:55:37]: I actually disagree with you.

Lana [00:55:38]: Oh, really?

Nicole [00:55:39]: Because remember how we talked earlier? Women can't even say thank you. They don't know how to. How do you like Nicole? You're so beautiful.

Lana [00:55:48]: Thank you.

Nicole [00:55:48]: Yeah. You see? But a lot of women would be.

Lana [00:55:50]: Like, but it is hard.

Nicole [00:55:51]: Come on, stop.

Lana [00:55:54]: But I have gotten better.

John [00:55:55]: She's gotten a lot better.

Nicole [00:55:56]: You didn't see me this morning, girl. Because a lot of women, they can't even accept compliments. So that's a training too. You have to practice that. And that's what I was saying, that when a guy opened the door, don't just like, thank you, or like something I see, like, just like, not, you know, I got you. I noticed that. But no, try to. And yeah, at first it will feel very unnatural and maybe cringe, but more you do and more natural it will be.

Lana [00:56:23]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:56:23]: And you see positive response. And as for the guys here, when they say, what are the winning lines? You figure it out. Try different lines and you see which work better.

John [00:56:33]: Exactly. Yeah.

Nicole [00:56:34]: Which, which. Because I have several lines. Because you can see and read the women much better. And you can see which line you can use on her. And not. Because there are those chats also, they're using like five, six different lines. It's not like they super. They have, like, their vocabulary. They just know what they're good at. That they just know what. What. What phrase work with a certain woman.

John [00:56:55]: I used to take guys out to do dating coaching, like, in Vegas, and I would show them how you don't have to say any words. Just walk up and just not say anything at all. And just motion and like, yes, that's like, you don't have to say anything. Like. Because guys would get hung up on the words. They're like, why is it when you say, you know this that it works? But then I say it, it's like, it doesn't work. I must be ugly. It's like, no, you're not ugly. You're just awkward.

Lana [00:57:21]: You don't have the confidence saying it.

John [00:57:23]: Yeah, yeah.

Nicole [00:57:24]: And that's. Which proves our point is that also men complained about. From women about the dates that. That guys can't talk. They can't maintain conversations. That's the number one complaint about the dating. The dates, the actual date women have, like, okay, we came here, he was cute, nice, but I was the one who's talking. I was the one who's asking the questions. And she thinks, like, that said, if I go further with him, I will be the leading. And it's not necessarily true, but she feels that because she has to do all the talking job, it's just like, okay, if I have to talk, then what? I have to, like, solve the problems. I have to do everything in our relationship. So I was like, you know what? I'm not gonna sign up for that.

Lana [00:58:06]: Yeah, yeah.

John [00:58:07]: It's interesting what you said too, about the, like, the thank you. Because even. Even with guys, right? So when someone, like, I go out with friends or something, and they pay for dinner or whatever, as even, you know, your inclination to say, oh, you didn't have to do that. If you say you don't. You didn't have to do that. It's very dismissive. As opposed to saying, oh, thank you so much. Thanks for paying for dinner. Like, that's what everyone wants to hear. They don't want to hear, oh, you didn't have to do that. I would pay for it. Like, you don't have to do that. Yeah, it's this, you know, so even guys can. But what I realized was that whenever someone does a favor for you or compliment, like, they want to hear, oh, thank you so much. That's what they want to hear. They don't want to hear, oh, because, yeah, I think a lot of women will take A compliment and say, oh, no, that's not true. Because they don't want to feel, like, prideful or whatever it is or appear arrogant or estimating herself, but the graciousness of thanking someone or allowing someone to do something for you. Because even again, as a guy, I mean, I'll try and pay the dinner. Obviously I want to pay the dinner for someone, but if someone beats me to it, I don't fight them anymore. I just say, I, oh, wow, thank you. Like, I appreciate that. Because that's what they. That's why they're doing it. That's what they want you to say. They don't want you to say, oh, no, no, let me do it. Let me take care of it. I'll take care of the bill. Because that doesn't make a person feel good.

Nicole [00:59:34]: And I would actually add to that, like, when you're not just expressing gratitude and say thank you. Like, for example, man says compliment, just like, thank you. I would just say, like, thank you. It's so nice to hear a compliment from a man who obviously knows and appreciates women. You see, so you're not just showing gratitude. You also give him compliment back. So that's even more powerful. But again, you have to practice that. And the more you try, more you're doing, the better you're getting. Yeah. First will be awkward, but they. Okay, they should be everything with the first time. Usually it doesn't come out well.

Lana [01:00:11]: Yeah, it's true.

John [01:00:12]: Okay. I cannot believe that we have. This was even faster than the first one.

Nicole [01:00:18]: Well, you're such an enjoyable people to talk with. Thank you so much for having me. And I hope our viewers learn something today and that will help them to enhance their dating experience.

Lana [01:00:29]: I definitely think they will. I've learned a lot from last episode and this episode.

John [01:00:33]: Yeah, we'll have some good clips and yeah. So, you know, where can people find you if they want to learn more or maybe get your help with their dating?

Nicole [01:00:44]: So you can easily just look for lanarico, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube. I also have my show Dating Makeover on YouTube, where people come to me, which I mentioned earlier, and they describe what's going on in their life. And I'm pointing to their mistakes and providing some guidance and some tips how they can fix that. So it's not just educational, but it's also very entertaining because I have a very different guest of different ages, different genders, different ideas, opinions. So it's very interesting. Encourage everyone to check out.

Lana [01:01:13]: We watched one of them. It is entertaining.

John [01:01:15]: Oh, yeah. Very entertaining. Yeah.

Lana [01:01:16]: Full of wisdom because you've been dropping nothing but wisdom here as well, too.

Nicole [01:01:21]: I'm glad you guys enjoyed it.

John [01:01:22]: Yeah, well, yeah, yeah, thanks for being on the show. And definitely we'll put the links down in the description for Lana's channel and her social media. So definitely follow her. Take a look. And hey, if you want some dating help, you've got, I'm with you.

Lana [01:01:39]: So you know where to find her.

John [01:01:40]: Yeah. You know you're going to get good advice.

Nicole [01:01:43]: You wanted to get some.

John [01:01:45]: Yeah, I condone it. I give. Give the full endorsement. Yes, endorsement. We endorse Lana's advice. So thanks for joining us. And check out the website, betterthanperfectpod. Com, and we'll see you next time. Through every fault we find.

Nicole [01:02:03]: No way.