John [00:00:00]: In my days, my. My dark days, I'd be like, okay. At the hotel room, she naked. Good job, John. You did it. Like, oh, now I gotta.

Nicole [00:00:07]: Now I gotta.

John [00:00:08]: I was like, I'm kind of tired. But I mean, I gotta. It doesn't really count if you don't, you know, so it's like. But I'm like, that's horrible. I know, I know. I know it's horrible. But it's like. But that's the. The mentality of, like, look at me. I'm the man, right? It's like, it wasn't like, the sex doesn't matter, right?

Nicole [00:00:23]: It's like, you heard it here. The sex doesn't matter. Women so do not give it to men unless they work for it.

John [00:00:29]: Beyond the perfect we cover through our flaws we complete each other Better than perfect we stay through every fault we find our way. All right, welcome back to the Better Than Perfect podcast, where every week we share with you how two imperfect people helping each other grow equals one better than perfect relationship.

Nicole [00:00:56]: That's right.

John [00:00:56]: So, yeah, it feels like we haven't recorded an episode in a long time.

Nicole [00:00:59]: But, yeah, but here we are.

John [00:01:01]: Yeah. And we're in our new studio.

Nicole [00:01:05]: But does it look any different? Let us know in the comments.

John [00:01:09]: Looks. Looks the same, but, you know, for us, it. It looks different. That's true. Yeah. But, yeah, so, I mean, yeah, we have a pretty exciting topic.

Nicole [00:01:19]: Oh, you're just gonna dive, right? I think we gotta just talk about hot sauce.

John [00:01:23]: No, no, we got something hotter than hot sauce today.

Nicole [00:01:26]: You're right.

John [00:01:26]: For sure. I am excited to just, you know, the topic is what kind of men do women throw themselves at? And. Yeah, so we're gonna talk about our producer. He does a lot of videography for some bands. Right. Some rock stars. And we were just talking to him about how these women just throw themselves at the rock stars. So. Yeah, but, yeah, I mean, welcome Rodrigo. He's behind the camera there. But, yeah, yeah, thanks for having me. What is it, you know, do rock stars have women throw themselves at them? What's your experience?

Guest/Brief Speaker [00:02:09]: I think there's a particular type of rock star, and I think the common denominator isn't necessarily that they're a rock star. And it's not necessarily fame or money or anything. It's just.

John [00:02:24]: Desirability.

Guest/Brief Speaker [00:02:27]: Are they the kind of celebrity, the.

John [00:02:30]: Kind of image that.

Guest/Brief Speaker [00:02:31]: Yeah, image that women are.

Nicole [00:02:35]: You know, Is it like the sex appeal?

Guest/Brief Speaker [00:02:38]: I think so, yeah.

Nicole [00:02:39]: More sort of thing. Cause, like, does Bruce Springsteen get women thrown at him? I Don't even. I might know a Bruce Springsteen song, but does he have sex? Sex appeal? Yeah, he does.

John [00:02:50]: I mean, I don't know.

Nicole [00:02:51]: I'm thinking about older.

John [00:02:53]: You gotta think back in his day. Right?

Nicole [00:02:55]: I mean, I know Elvis.

John [00:02:57]: Okay. Yeah.

Nicole [00:02:58]: But I'm trying to think of, I guess the equivalent of, like, that doesn't have the sex appeal sort of vibe that Rodrigo's talking about.

John [00:03:05]: Yeah, like.

Nicole [00:03:09]: Limp Bizkit.

John [00:03:10]: No, definitely.

Nicole [00:03:11]: Limp Bizkit has sex appeal.

John [00:03:14]: Yeah, to.

Nicole [00:03:15]: To that person's a Limp Bizkit.

John [00:03:18]: That's weird.

Nicole [00:03:18]: But I don't know if he still does. But back in the day. But. Okay. Well, I don't know. Maybe.

John [00:03:25]: Okay, what's the guy with the headband?

Nicole [00:03:27]: The headband?

John [00:03:28]: He died. With the guitar and the headband and the long braids.

Nicole [00:03:34]: Bob Marley.

John [00:03:35]: No. White guy. Old guy.

Nicole [00:03:37]: White guy. Willie Nelson.

John [00:03:38]: Willie Nelson.

Nicole [00:03:39]: He died.

John [00:03:41]: Didn't Willie Nelson die?

Guest/Brief Speaker [00:03:42]: I don't think so. I think he's still alive.

Nicole [00:03:44]: He's still alive.

John [00:03:45]: Okay.

Nicole [00:03:45]: With the braids.

John [00:03:46]: Sorry. Yeah, with the braids. I thought he died. We're gonna have to Google that side note, though.

Nicole [00:03:52]: Do you remember when I had the braids and I looked like.

John [00:03:54]: Yeah, you looked like. Yeah, that's it. But see, that's why I thought it was, you know, is that he doesn't have the. Necessarily the.

Nicole [00:04:01]: But maybe back in his day is what you're talking about.

John [00:04:03]: But I would still bet women are throwing themselves at him, even. But I get what Rodrigo's trying to.

Nicole [00:04:07]: Say is, like, there's some, like, bands and frontmen or performers that, like, put off that vibe and kind of, like, egg it on versus, like, I feel like. Like a Bruce Springsteen. He's not, like, being vulgarly about it or, like, putting it all out there. Is that, like, a vibe sort of thing?

Guest/Brief Speaker [00:04:28]: Yeah, it just sort of like, does. Does this person have women already desiring and pursuing him sort of thing. And is he, like. Is the vibe and the aesthetic of the project kind of, like, you know, sexually charged or whatever? Is there something about it that makes. Makes him desirable?

John [00:04:54]: Right. Like Grateful Dead.

Nicole [00:04:57]: Are they sexual?

John [00:05:00]: It's sort of that hippie orgy. Yeah.

Nicole [00:05:03]: They're always wearing, like, tie dye. I never see them, like, showing their boobs at a concert, I guess, because I'm thinking about the 80s where, like, you would see boobs like Aerosmith and, you know, those sort of vibes.

Guest/Brief Speaker [00:05:15]: Yeah, you don't see that much.

Nicole [00:05:17]: It's not that much.

Guest/Brief Speaker [00:05:18]: I mean, there are some bands that, you know, still attract that kind of. Those kinds of fans. Yeah, but it's, that's, it's more old.

Nicole [00:05:29]: School behind the scenes, like you said, like, it's more of like happening behind closed doors.

John [00:05:34]: Well, yeah. I mean, tell us what, what happens. Like, so I guess that maybe that's a good place to start is like. Okay, you know, without specific, without incriminating anyone.

Nicole [00:05:43]: Right.

John [00:05:43]: What is the kind of see, like, what do you see happening when you're out with these, these bands and you.

Guest/Brief Speaker [00:05:49]: Know, I mean, I guess it's not really that surprising anymore after so many tours or whatever. But it's the transactional quality of the relationships, of the interactions.

Nicole [00:06:03]: But the women are probably just like, oh, now I could say I slept with a rock star or something. Yeah.

Guest/Brief Speaker [00:06:08]: I think even though, say if we're talking about a male rock star, you can make the argument that they are more in their masculine than the actual celebrities themselves.

John [00:06:19]: Right? The women are.

Guest/Brief Speaker [00:06:20]: Yeah.

John [00:06:20]: Because they're. Yeah.

Nicole [00:06:22]: Cause they're like pursuing.

John [00:06:23]: Right.

Guest/Brief Speaker [00:06:23]: Yeah, they're just. For them it's strictly transactional. And like there's, there's like a, like you said, like a bucket list sort of thing and a status elevator sort of thing.

Nicole [00:06:36]: Right? Yeah. Like makes them look better because this guy got with them.

John [00:06:40]: Right, right.

Guest/Brief Speaker [00:06:41]: And another thing that came to mind, I forget what you call it, but like the, is it the 8020 rule where like Pareto's law where it's like.

Nicole [00:06:50]: 80% of women are attracted to like 20% of men?

John [00:06:54]: Yeah. Yeah.

Guest/Brief Speaker [00:06:55]: And it's like you could just see, maybe I'm just projecting, but you could just see that after having these sort of transactional one night stands with celebrities, they feel like, oh, okay, well I can get a celebrity, so anything below.

John [00:07:15]: That I don't want, I don't want anymore.

Guest/Brief Speaker [00:07:17]: But it's sort of a delusional. Maybe they're aware of the delusion or whatever, but it's just a one night stand sort of thing that doesn't mean anything.

John [00:07:27]: Right.

Guest/Brief Speaker [00:07:28]: But it's that sort of. They stay in that delusion for a while after till they realize that it wasn't that.

John [00:07:36]: Yeah. There's a term for it. It's not a very good term, but it's called Hoeflation. It's like inflation. But we were just talking about this phenomenon and one of the episodes I just published where we had a clip where I was talking about this how one of the problems in modern society in dating is that women will, because of dating apps, because of Instagram, because of access to Celebrities, pro sports star, rock stars. And you can just DM them. Women will sleep with these guys. And these women are not the best looking women in the world. It's like, because they don't have to be, right? But, hey, drunk. All right, whatever. This girl DM me. Yeah, come on over, right? So women who are, I don't want to make it too derogatory, but they're not a 10, clearly, and not even maybe an 8. But they're now getting guys that in women's world are a 10 because they sleep with a rock star or a rapper or whatever it is. And then they now have an inflated view of themselves. And then so the standard, normal man, they think that he's beneath them when he might even be above them. And so because. And the reason why this happens is because in society today, we've equalized men and women saying that. You've even heard women probably say, could I pull you? Or pull. As if a woman getting a guy to have sex with her is any challenge at all, right? So it's like, so a woman's valuing the wrong thing. She's like, oh, well, if a guy sleeps with me, then I must be valuable. Whereas it's like, no, no, no. A guy will sleep with literally anything given the right conditions. Most guys. But will he date you? Will he marry you? Will he take you home to mom? That's really the score that you should be valuing yourself as a woman. And so when you're valuing yourself on, oh, what's the hottest or highest status guy that will sleep with me? You're giving yourself the wrong score. And then when you have a delusion because you're giving yourself the wrong score based off of that, it doesn't do too well for the rest of life. And then it makes the level higher. So now all these guys are trying to compete with guys that are high status that women think they are entitled to and deserve. So it's like in a perfect world, right? One way of describing it is if you're a guy and you're five, you would date a woman that's a five. If you're a six, you date a six. That would be a matching of score, right? Obviously, you know, it's realistically a little bit higher. Like a woman that's a five would date a guy that's a six, right? Because women tend to, you know.

Nicole [00:10:31]: Are you saying you're higher than me?

John [00:10:33]: No, no, no. But I'm saying like in a, in a, in a perfect way, like you can't get higher than. Than. Than. Than 11, so. But. Which is what you are. So.

Nicole [00:10:42]: Yeah, so I was just messing with you, but.

John [00:10:44]: No, I get it.

Nicole [00:10:44]: But, you know, I agree with what you're saying, but of course, I have to do the woman side. Right. This is why we're doing this podcast. So here's the thing. Men can say forever and ever and ever and ever that they don't care about sex the same way as women. And I believe that to be true. I'm not saying that that's not true. However, a woman could hear that, and she's still going to view sleeping with a man, especially of higher status or whatever, or hotter than her, as a win, as he chose me. And so that's why, even if it doesn't mean anything to a man when he does that, she gets that he chose me. He wanted me. That's also why women wear provocative clothes, because they can get a man to want them sexually, which makes them feel like he wants me.

John [00:11:39]: Right, right.

Nicole [00:11:40]: And so then afterwards, even if they're doing it transactionally, you know, where they're doing it to kind of up their confidence.

John [00:11:50]: Right.

Nicole [00:11:50]: It's still in their mind, even though it's not the same thing that. The whole thing that happened, the. The intimacy, if you can call it that.

John [00:12:01]: You. You saw that movie. What was that movie with Tom Cruise? I can't remember.

Nicole [00:12:07]: The Mission Impossible.

John [00:12:08]: No, no. You know, the movie with Tom Cruise where he was the rock star.

Nicole [00:12:12]: Oh, oh, Rock of Ages.

John [00:12:13]: Rock of Ages. You seen that movie? Oh, you should see that. You need to see that movie after your experiences. Watch Rock of Ages.

Nicole [00:12:20]: It's very similar vibe, what you're saying. Like, it's completely different experience for a man and a woman. And even if it's transactional for her, too, it is to be like, oh, well, that man wanted me enough, and he's high status, and he did this with me even though it was 20 minutes. And so now I'm worth more because this caliber of man wanted me. And to this extent, even though we're not together.

John [00:12:47]: Right.

Nicole [00:12:48]: Or she's doing it too, to be like, maybe he does want me. Maybe he sees my moves and he's like, oh, I need to marry that woman again. Which to men, this is delulu, but to women, this is how our brains work. And it's just different, because when women hear, oh, it's just sex from a man, they can understand that. They can't understand that perspective. But in a woman's mind, they're still processing as it's not just sex, right? You know, so, so that. I'm not saying it's right, but I'm saying that that is more of like the woman's perspective of that same in.

John [00:13:23]: Society today because of how messed up our value system is. Because here's the reality, right? Okay. Because we talk about body count, right? If a woman sleeps with a rock star or a rapper, you know, pro athlete is not quite as bad, but it's.

Nicole [00:13:39]: Yes, it is.

John [00:13:39]: It's up there. But it's.

Nicole [00:13:40]: Pro athlete is just as bad.

John [00:13:43]: The rockstar rapper is, is worse. Because the guy's not like, sometimes the guy's not even good looking. It's like, at least an athlete is like a buff guy. You know what I mean? But okay, fine.

Nicole [00:13:53]: That's even more.

John [00:13:54]: All right, fine, we'll throw them all in the trash can.

Nicole [00:13:56]: No, they all are in the trash can.

John [00:13:58]: But if a woman sleeps with a man of high status in that way, right? Like, just throws herself at him instead of. In my mind, instead of giving her a one body count for that interaction, they give her a 10 or a 15, right? So I'm not even a big.

Nicole [00:14:14]: Goes back to sex ed where they're like, well, you sleep with, you've slept with all the people that they've slept with.

John [00:14:19]: But it's not because of that. It's because of the sluttiness. It's because of the ease of, of throw of like, like, of. Of the whoring yourself out. Because when, when I say this, I mean because, like, you're just sleeping with this guy because he's high status. Like, like you would just like, throw all your morals or cheat on your husband or, or whatever. Because this guy, you know, it's like, so what? And I'm not even a guy that judges on body count. Like, I, I never was. But if I were single, if I, if I were like, considered seriously dating a woman and I found out that, that she slept with a rapper or something, I would be like, nope. I would. You're not marriage material. You're not dating material. Like, like, even though I don't care about I. I'd rather see a high body count number than one of those. Because one of those I'm like, no, you're trash.

Nicole [00:15:09]: Like, it's a way to like, make yourself feel more important. Especially because those women are probably like, I'm never going to be a rock star. I'm never going to be a rapper. I'm never going to be the type of woman to be with those People. Unless they're like desperately pursuing them. I'm not saying this is okay.

John [00:15:24]: No, no. But that's.

Nicole [00:15:25]: I'm just explaining. I understand the psychology behind.

John [00:15:29]: But they got it mixed up because they think that by sleeping with a high status guy that that somehow makes them high status. Or he chose me. But in reality, it actually is the worst status thing that you can do because now men look down on you. They're like, oh man, she's just a slut. It's actually lowering the status there.

Nicole [00:15:48]: It's absolutely ridiculous for anybody to throw themselves at somebody to that level.

John [00:15:52]: Right. For what? Because what's high status is if you're. You, you get married to a rock star, you're dating a famous celebrity.

Nicole [00:16:02]: I was gonna say that the rock star is actually interested in you. That's a lot different, though.

John [00:16:08]: Yeah. If he, if he puts you, then.

Nicole [00:16:10]: You DM in him and be like.

John [00:16:11]: Look, if he puts you on his Instagram and he's like, this is my girlfriend, like my only girlfriend. Or like, you know what I mean? Sure. That's an elevation.

Nicole [00:16:20]: My only status.

John [00:16:21]: Yeah, that's an elevation of status. Right. If he's like, this is the chick I slept with last night. No.

Nicole [00:16:27]: You know what I'm saying? I don't think you're even getting posted for that.

John [00:16:29]: No, you're not getting posted for that. But what I'm saying though is like, that's where women have it mixed up.

Nicole [00:16:35]: No, I'm not saying that it's.

John [00:16:36]: No, I know, I know you're not saying that. But I'm just saying it's like to understand how men view that, they view it worse than almost anything you could do. And it's not because they're jealous or because, okay, this guy's a rock star. It's because of what it represents. It's because it's like you are so easy that just fame or money is all it takes to get you not the quality of the person. Because you don't really know that rock star. Like, you didn't really date him. He's not like, you didn't ask for any kind of commitment. You're like, oh, yeah, I'll just come there and, and, and suck you off in, in, in 20 minutes. And that's. And, and I'll leave and, and you never have to see me again. It's like, you're that cheap. You know what I'm saying? It makes you that cheap. Which is not a good look.

Nicole [00:17:17]: Here is my age old argument. Yes, it is. Ultimately, women's responsibility to not do these things. However, how are men not upset with these men? Because at the end of the day, I get that men are gonna wanna have sex. It's part of their biology. But they're harming other men by just taking these bottom of the barrel women that are throwing themselves at these men. And so like, again, I'm not saying it's all men's fault, but at the same time, men aren't helping other men by just take like not having the standards as well too. Like, why are you as a man sleeping with a woman that you're kind of disgusted by? Because it's so desperate.

John [00:18:10]: Right?

Nicole [00:18:11]: And then you're feeding her ego. Like, you know you're feeding her ego. Especially if you're a rock star, like, you know that this person is just gonna be like, look what I did, I did this. And then you're gonna just be like, yeah, it was number one 79 for the week.

John [00:18:28]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:18:28]: That also doesn't make you look good as a guy either. Like, I know women will still throw themselves at rock stars. They don't care how many people that they've slept with. Yeah, but they should, in my opinion. I mean, like, personally, it's just as off putting for a guy to have hundreds if not, if you're a rock star. Thousands. Let's be real. Probably thousands. Especially if they're taking these women that are just in the DMs.

John [00:18:51]: Right?

Nicole [00:18:53]: Like, why do you want that?

John [00:18:55]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:18:56]: As a woman, why do you want that?

John [00:18:57]: Right? Yeah. And I agree.

Nicole [00:18:59]: Everybody's had that.

John [00:19:00]: But here's the thing, here's the answer to your question, is those guys, I actually don't, I don't hate the rock star. Right. Okay. Because they're actually doing a service for men. And I'll tell you why. Because they are bringing out the true colors of these women that like, look as, you know, as a guy. Yeah. I want, I want, I want a woman to be tested. Will she sleep with the fucking rock star? And like, is she going to send him some dirty DM and not know anything about him and just come over to his house right away and. And wham, bam, thank you, ma'. Am. Yeah, that's a good filter. Because it's like she's willing to do that. I already know. Like, it's like it's saving.

Nicole [00:19:37]: But how are you. Unless she tells you? I mean, she doesn't tell you.

John [00:19:40]: Well, look, if she, what if she.

Nicole [00:19:42]: Watches podcast and she never tells anybody?

John [00:19:44]: Keep your fucking mouth shut. This is a Service announcement to women. If you slept with a rock star rapper, but do talk about it. Huh?

Nicole [00:19:51]: But is that a lie then? Like, if you don't tell your husband these things.

John [00:19:54]: Look, it's discretion. You don't need to talk. I don't know every person that you've slept with. You don't know every person I've slept with. I don't need to talk about it. You don't need to talk about that. You know what I'm saying? It's like, it's discretion because.

Nicole [00:20:05]: But you're saying that if you knew. So you're saying if a woman told you, told you that information.

John [00:20:10]: If she tells me, like, look, if I find it out, I'm already disgusted. If she tells me it, I'm doubly disgusted because I'm like, okay, and you're bragging about this. Like, you're like, okay, this is what I did. No, you're. You're. Go to the bottom of the trash heap pile where you belong. Like, I don't mean to be like, yeah, but it's like, yeah, I'm being a little bit mean. I don't mean to be so mean. I still, you know, I love everyone. But I'm just saying, like, you're hurting yourself by doing this. But I don't.

Nicole [00:20:36]: I wanted to do this episode too, because it is crazy how desperate these women are coming across.

John [00:20:42]: I'm glad you can see it because I told you about this.

Nicole [00:20:44]: I mean, I'm not saying that I thought it never happened. I know that women are gonna act that way with men of higher status, of. With rock stars or whatever. But I think, though, that a lot of women also act this way. Not as extreme, with just regular men that don't even really like them. And so I think that it's important that women don't come off so desperate and that they have higher standards and that they don't use sleeping with any man really as a way to up themselves.

John [00:21:17]: Right?

Nicole [00:21:18]: But, you know, like you said, society has sexualized things in such an extreme way. Like, all the clothes are skimpier. Like, you know, sex sells. It always has for a really long time. And so from a very young age, right? Especially women are learning to sexualize themselves, and that's how they get male attention, and that's how they get men to like them. And like, if you don't know any better and you don't have self respect for yourself, yeah, you get to these desperate dms and you're throwing yourself at any man. That's High enough that makes you feel higher about yourself.

John [00:21:58]: Right?

Nicole [00:21:58]: But it's like it's, but it's empty. Like it's not going to actually make you feel better.

John [00:22:02]: But you like to go to Ross, right? Or Marshalls. Okay, there are some name brands in there. Some, right, Some, some name brands.

Nicole [00:22:10]: I don't, I don't look at the brands. I just look if it's cute, okay.

John [00:22:14]: But I mean there are some, right, like, like the, the whatever, the extras or you know, whatever. And then it's like, but discount. This is discount. Rack at Marshalls, at Ross.

Nicole [00:22:24]: He's about to talk smack about my marsh.

John [00:22:27]: No, not you. I'm saying these women. It's like you're putting yourself on the discount, right? It's like, yeah, you can get the sex appeal, but that's like discount. It's so cheap, I'm going to buy it, right? You see what I'm saying? Versus Louis Vuitton, right? Like it's so expensive, I'm going to buy it. Right? Like you can be so cheap. I'm going to buy it. I'm so expensive, I'm going to buy it.

Nicole [00:22:48]: Right, right.

John [00:22:49]: And that's what I think.

Nicole [00:22:50]: Women too need to not base themselves off of men, period. Like, end of sentence. Because when they do, then they do go down that path where they cheapen themselves.

John [00:23:03]: Well, what do men.

Nicole [00:23:04]: You don't. If you value yourself and you have standards. Yeah, but you're kind to people. I'm not saying be mean to men or whatever. Or you have to write men off, right? You're gonna have better men. If you have more standards and you have more self worth for yourself, you'll naturally go down that path. But when you, you act like your worth comes from how sexy can I look? How attractive to men can I look? Or you know, I have to go out with makeup on or I'm gonna look bad. Like all those things where like you're constantly afraid of how you look towards men or like I need to sleep with him right away or else he won't like me and he'll leave. No, if he leaves, then he leaves. But all those things push you further down the path of like you're actually becoming unappealing to men.

John [00:23:54]: Right? Versus Exactly.

Nicole [00:23:55]: That's the other way. Like when you're afraid to lose a man is when you're most likely to lose him. Because now you're, you're acting in a desperate way, right? That's actually going to push him away.

John [00:24:07]: And that's why, because women don't understand men because they don't understand men's obsession with body count. And they're like, what? And it's. And again, like I said, you've heard my stance on it. I'm. I'm more like, body count doesn't matter as much. It matters who, who a person is now because people make mistakes in their past. But the reason why men are so obsessed with body count is because what a man values in a woman is her exclusivity. How hard is she to get, right? How cheap is her sexuality, right? And so that's why men are like, oh, I want a virgin. Yeah, it's a little bit ridiculous in this, in this society today, but the value of it is that this woman saved her so that no man could get her. And if I get her, then she must actually have some standards where she's like, she's preserved her value for her husband, right? That's kind of the thinking man.

Nicole [00:25:00]: I know that they also want a freaky virgin. So it's like, in what world does that exist?

John [00:25:07]: But a man doesn't mind teaching a woman sexual things. But if women have to teach a man sexual things, it's like. But what I'm saying is that, that's the thing, is that it's like a lot of times men get looked down, up upon for this. And again, like when men use this to degrade women or to berate women over, like, that's not cool either. Unless it's the rock star thing, then you can do. But. But no, it's not. What I'm saying, though is that, like, men sometimes get a bad rap, bad rap about it, but you have to understand the value system is. It's like, it's not that. Like, it's not that, oh, men care if you're promiscuous or that men want to have the exclusivity on being promiscuous. It's just that a woman is more valuable because it's easy for her to get sex, right? But if she's choosy about it, then that creates a higher value. But it's not just men. It's anyone, right? So if I sell, right, I'm doing sales calls right now. So if I have a product that I'm selling and you can get it for super cheap or free, it doesn't have much value. Or if I'm just throwing it at you, I'm like, okay, as soon as I get on a sales call, I'm like, oh, do you want to buy? Yeah, yeah, let's get you signed up, right? Asking any questions, not seeing if you're a good fit for the thing. Like, you're like, what is this guy? Like this. It doesn't. It loses value, right. As human beings, if something is easy or cheap or it's given to everyone, we consider it to be less valuable. Right? And that's the core of the thing behind it. Even though some men take it to an extreme and use it to beat.

Nicole [00:26:40]: Women with it, I think that is the majority. That's what I was going to say is, unfortunately, the. You're the only person that has said the thing about the body count. Like, you shouldn't have sex as a woman more than you really, quote, need to.

John [00:26:57]: Right?

Nicole [00:26:58]: Because most of the time, I mean, we know somebody that. I'm not going to say his actual name, but talked about the virgin thing in a way that is degrading to women. And a lot of men do talk about that in a way that's degrading or trying to shame them. And a lot of women are past that point.

John [00:27:14]: Right?

Nicole [00:27:15]: And. But maybe they would listen to something like you're saying, but they're not gonna listen to some guy that's like, berating them. And it is berating. And I mean, I do think men need to not be so hypocritical. I'm not expecting men to be virgins themselves. But if you're expecting a virgin and you sleep with every single thing that comes your way, that is hypocritical.

John [00:27:41]: And that's the thing is, like, so. Because you're right, because what. What women want from a man that makes him more appealing is. I mean, and that's the rock star appeal, is that a lot of women want to sleep with the guy they want. It's not necessarily that he can. That he does. It's not that he does.

Nicole [00:27:58]: Right. It's a discernment.

John [00:27:59]: Right? And he has discernment. So it's like, which is more valuable, right? A guy that sleeps with lots of women and makes it well known, or a man that, you know that he probably sleeps with a lot of women, but he doesn't say anything about it and he's discreet. You know what I'm saying? Like, you know, women want him. And even that he's choosy in the sense that, like, he doesn't sleep with anything. Yeah. A lot of women. He might have slept with a lot of women, but all of those women were very attractive women. You know what I mean? They were all women. That would be hard to get that makes a man more valuable versus what you're saying is like, yeah, if a guy just sleeps with anything, then he also doesn't have any standards to a woman.

Nicole [00:28:35]: It doesn't matter if the woman was hot or not. Like that's not gonna matter.

John [00:28:39]: It does matter. I'll tell you why and I'll tell you where you can see this for sure. Oh, here's a perfect example. What's the comedian Kim Kardashian's thing? The guy from. He was on Nickelodeon or whatever. Like who? The comedian guy that was dating Kim Kardashian.

Nicole [00:29:03]: He was on Nickelodeon.

John [00:29:04]: I don't know if he was on Pete Davidson. Pete Davidson.

Nicole [00:29:05]: He wasn't on Nickelodeon.

John [00:29:06]: Okay, whatever.

Nicole [00:29:07]: He was on snl.

John [00:29:08]: Okay, he was on snl. Ok, but you know, the Knick people came from Game to SNL and ruined it. You know?

Nicole [00:29:16]: But you're only talking about one person.

John [00:29:18]: Yeah, that guy. That guy.

Nicole [00:29:20]: I don't know.

John [00:29:20]: Okay, I know he ruined it. No talent, but Pete Davidson. Okay, it's hard for you to see this, right? Because of he's ugly and goofy. Okay, no offense, Pete, I know you're not watching the show, but I love you though. But he's really funny. But anyway, he's ugly and goofy. Like, let's just be honest about this, okay? Now women don't seem as ugly and goofy. Why? Because he dated a lot of hot women, so now he's a sex symbol. He's desirable because. And the reason why is biologically women are wired to value pre selection just about above every other thing in terms of attraction, right? And so it's not something that you can really be consciously aware of. But that's exactly why rock stars that are sex symbols, women will be like DM and be like, I'll cheat on my husband for you. Because that's the highest trigger in a woman's brain that this man is attractive. Is that other attractive women, the more attractive women that want him or that he's had, the more that it's a signal that this is a high value man. It doesn't have to do with his physical attractiveness. It doesn't have to do with his money. It even doesn't necessarily have to do with his status, like how well known it is. It's how desirable is he to other women who are of high quality. That's the number one thing that will get you laid as a man.

Nicole [00:30:50]: If I can get this man, then it'll make me feel better about myself. And so that's why as women, you need to not use men to feel better about yourself. Men use women to feel better about themselves too because they're like, oh, if I can sleep with a lot of hot women, I'm cool. Exactly. So it's like, it's still not a good thing either way.

John [00:31:09]: No, no, it's not a good thing.

Nicole [00:31:10]: To base your self value off of those things.

John [00:31:14]: But, but, but it is like, you know, it is proof that if a man is attractive enough. Right. And when I say attractive, I don't mean physically attractive. I mean has the attract, you know, rock star status that women who would otherwise be faithful will cheat with that guy.

Nicole [00:31:31]: Yeah, but I think not all women.

John [00:31:32]: Not all type of women, obviously. Right, But I mean you're, you're. That's what I'm saying. That's a filter. Right? But a lot of women that you wouldn't expect would do it.

Nicole [00:31:41]: I'm not saying that you're wrong.

John [00:31:43]: And I've seen it. I've seen it. That's why I was trying to tell you, like, you know, I've seen women show me their texts in the past when they were with me of their boyfriend or the guy they had the crush on or whatever it is.

Nicole [00:31:58]: Are you with them if they're showing you?

John [00:32:00]: I already know at that point. Point, I didn't care. At that point I was doing what I wasn't supposed to be doing anyway. You know what I'm saying? But, well, but that's why it's like, yeah, I mean, guys definitely cheat and they will, they will cheat for no good reason at all. Right? But if, but women have a higher threshold of like for, for an attraction standpoint. Like women will cheat for emotional reasons. Right. Emotional connection.

Nicole [00:32:27]: Or for rock stars or for rock.

John [00:32:29]: Or rock star celebrity. Right. How many times you hear people say, oh well, the celebrity exception. Or like, you know, you can, the one cheating, you know, freak card that you get, you get out of jail free card as a celebrity or, or this, you can pick one celebrity or whatever it is.

Nicole [00:32:43]: But I'm also wondering too if the women that are married and stuff with these rock stars are in unhappy marriages. Because most people are in unhappy marriages.

John [00:32:52]: But.

Nicole [00:32:54]: And so I feel like that makes, also make it more likely for them to do that kind of stuff. I'm not saying that's an excuse, but.

John [00:33:02]: Well, but that's why like people laugh at us about, because we talk about the. No celebrity crushes. Like you shouldn't, you shouldn't be in a relationship and have a celebrity crush.

Nicole [00:33:10]: But I feel like if you genuinely love your partner and you're attracted to them and you have the type of relationship you and I have, you're not. You don't have a crush on anyone else.

John [00:33:22]: Well, but you have to choose that, though, still, right? You know what I'm saying?

Nicole [00:33:25]: It's like, I mean, I don't feel like I have to choose it.

John [00:33:27]: No, I mean, I get what you're saying. But. But if you. If it's just acceptable, right, like your partner has celebrity crush and like, I have a celebrity crush, then. Then it's not. It's. It's not the norm of their relationship. Right? It's just like, if you. If you have a good connection, but then you have an open relationship, then that's the norm. You have to have some boundaries that are in the relationship that are mutually understood. Right? Because that's why the celebrity crush thing, it's just a sign. If a guy's dating a woman and she has a celebrity crush and she talks about the celebrity crush. Well, I mean, there's no reason to think that if she had the opportunity that she wouldn't cheat on the guy because she already is, in effect. Right. Mentally cheating on him. Right. I mean, it's. It's disrespectful to just like, if I was like, if a woman walked by and I was like, oh, damn, look at that hot woman, like, you'd be like, fuck, that's disrespectful. Right? It's the same exact thing, right? It's like, if a guy does that, if a woman says her celebrity crush or says, oh, this rock star is hard hot, or whatever, it's disrespectful. But that's the sign, and that's where it begins. But if you're. Even though people laugh at us about this in your relationship, if you're like, no celebrity crushes, that's not. Like, if you call it out and you're like, that's disrespectful. Like, you're going to talk to me about someone else being hot in my presence, like, you shouldn't do it behind my presence, but it's disrespectful. But if that is put to a stop and understood and agreed from the beginning, then you don't have to worry about this.

Nicole [00:35:03]: But here's my thing. Yes, you're right. But I guess my thing is I don't want to tell somebody to not have a celebrity crush if that's the only reason they don't have one. Or they're suppressing something with you and I. I don't feel like that is even a thing. And that's the difference is, like, you're saying, have these boundaries. But I would say that if you and I were together and the whole time you were like, oh, I have a celebrity crush on this girl. Even if I was like, no, we don't have celebrity crushes. I don't think I'd want to be with a person that I'm, like, feeling like I'm trying to, like, tame their desire for someone else.

John [00:35:48]: And then I get that. And I agree with you. I think, though, that the society that we live in today, sometimes people have to be educated because they don't realize things are wrong, right? Because they haven't. Look, so many guys that I coached, right? They're like, oh, yeah, my girlfriend goes out to the club twice a week or whatever. They're like. And I'm like, what do you not understand? And it's like, oh, she doesn't mean it. And she doesn't know either. She's just like, okay, that's what you do, right? Because that's become so normalized, where I'm like, that should not fly. Not even one time. Like, there's none of this kind of crap going on. But it's like. But also, some of those people, you know, not everyone's, you know, brilliant, super high IQ, you know, 11 on the hotness scale. Like, you are right?

Nicole [00:36:34]: So you're just buttering me up right now.

John [00:36:37]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:36:38]: Yeah. Thanks.

John [00:36:39]: With the truth. You know, that's the best kind of butter. But. But. But some people are dumb, right? You know, it's like, so they just need to be educated to understand. Like, yeah, that's not actually. Okay. That's not actually appropriate. It doesn't. Like, I mean, you had to educate me a little bit because I was a little lost, you know, sheep for a while. And you're like, you, like. You can't just text a girl that you had had sex with, even if it doesn't mean anything, Even if you're just liking a message and, you know, like, logically. Okay, yes, I would preach. I know that. Right? But the life I was living was not a met. Was not a life where that mattered at all, right? And so you had to bring me to reality and be like, hey, like, guy this. No, you can't do that.

Nicole [00:37:22]: It's the same. Girls do the same thing that guys do, Right? You'd be the same way. If I was liking a message that some guy that I hooked up with. Sent.

John [00:37:30]: But what I'm saying is that some people need to be a little rehabilitated, which I get.

Nicole [00:37:35]: But I would rather say if you meet somebody and you get in a serious relationship with them and you still have a celebrity crush that you are. You actively want to talk about.

John [00:37:44]: Right.

Nicole [00:37:44]: You're not with the right person.

John [00:37:45]: But we know people. That's what I'm saying is like, those people, they're. I think some of the people that. That we know. Not naming names. There's a lot of people we know that. That have this. They. They need to be re. Educated. It's not. It's not a. They just don't understand at all why that damages the relationship, why that's not a good thing. You know what I'm saying? That's what I'm saying.

Nicole [00:38:09]: I mean, I get it, but at the same time, it's like, are they really gonna learn from being like, don't do that.

John [00:38:15]: Not from. Don't do that. From watching our podcast and subscribing and giving a. Like. But actually, yes.

Nicole [00:38:24]: And drinking liquid.

John [00:38:25]: But from getting enough information that what we're talking about, about why these things are important, why it matters. You know what I mean? Because like I said, a lot of people are like, you guys are crazy. Celebrity crush is just. Who cares? It's not a big deal. Like, if they're loyal to you, you don't need to have boundaries. You don't need to be. No. Girls night out, guys night out. And it's like, no, no, no, you don't understand. Like, if you got those things, then you wouldn't have the problems that you're going to have. Right. Because they don't understand. Why is a celebrity crush not an innocent thing? But the reason why is because.

Nicole [00:38:58]: Well, because they think they're never going to have the opportunity. But then when you get the opportunity, are they going to be sliding in the D and they don't realize their marriage?

John [00:39:07]: What time or what type of relationship are you trying to build? Right. Like something deeper, something more valuable.

Nicole [00:39:13]: Right. Than something that fulfills you. And you don't need celebrity crushes or any of these other things.

John [00:39:18]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:39:18]: Are there any other tidbits? Because, like, I really wanted to do this episode because I just wanted to have all the craziness out there.

Guest/Brief Speaker [00:39:26]: There's also another observation, is, like, there are. There are people that in the spotlight that get, like, canceled, and then there are people that don't.

John [00:39:39]: Yep.

Guest/Brief Speaker [00:39:40]: And it. It seems like if you are one of the celebrities or rock stars or whatever that sort of embraces that lifestyle. You sort of survive it. And it's also. It maybe even amplifies it. Your popularity in the bedroom and people that don't and shy away from it or maybe act in a way or say things to people that make it seem like you're maybe interested in them in a more earnest or in a genuine way, and then turns out that you're not.

Nicole [00:40:22]: Right.

Guest/Brief Speaker [00:40:22]: They tend to get.

Nicole [00:40:23]: There's more drama.

Guest/Brief Speaker [00:40:24]: Yeah, there's more drama. And people tend to feel like the rug is, like, pulled out from under them and stuff like that.

John [00:40:30]: That's a super good point.

Nicole [00:40:31]: It makes a lot of sense. Yeah. Cause even that Rock of Ages show that Jon was talking about, Tom Cruise's character's very nonchalant. And so when he just disposes of a woman or whatever, it's the norm. It's acceptable. It's not something as shocking. Cause that's how that person has portrayed themselves the whole time.

John [00:40:52]: Right.

Guest/Brief Speaker [00:40:53]: Like, is Tommy Lee gonna get canceled for cleaning with a groupie? You know?

Nicole [00:40:58]: Exactly. That's a good. Yeah, Tommy Lee's a good.

John [00:41:01]: Which one?

Nicole [00:41:02]: Tommy Lee, the drummer of.

John [00:41:04]: Oh, yeah, yeah.

Guest/Brief Speaker [00:41:05]: You know what I mean? Whereas, like, I don't know if maybe Adam Levine does it. It's a different story, right?

Nicole [00:41:10]: Oh, yeah. Well, he did do it. And he's married with a kid too, so he got in a lot of trouble.

John [00:41:15]: But. But it's like. Well, I mean, it's anti. Fragile, right? So.

Nicole [00:41:18]: But it's like, how also do you marry a rock star?

John [00:41:21]: Yeah, that's it.

Nicole [00:41:22]: How. Honestly, if you're married to a rock star, I feel like it's actually pretty stupid to think that they're only gonna be with you. I'm not gonna lie. Like, you know, women are gonna throw themselves. And like, how do you marry any of the people you talked about, like the rock stars, the rappers, the professional athletes. Except the only professional athlete that I think is actually a good guy and would not cheat on his wife is Sierra's husband. I forget what his actual name is, but he was a football player, but I think he retired when they got together. Like, he left for that woman. He left for Sierra, which I would also leave for Sierra because she is beautiful and knows how to dance.

John [00:42:02]: And so I don't know anything.

Nicole [00:42:03]: Russell Wilson. That's his name.

John [00:42:05]: I don't know any of those names.

Nicole [00:42:06]: He was a football player.

John [00:42:07]: Okay.

Nicole [00:42:07]: But, yeah, I just. I find it hard to believe that, like, any rock star, musician, athlete, that is still in that field. They haven't retired. Now, if they retired, I think they could do it, like if they left the scene.

John [00:42:24]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:42:24]: But I don't know that I believe that any of those people that are actively in it don't have an open relationship or some sort of agreement or something.

John [00:42:33]: Well, here's, here's the thing. Like a little kind of side trail on this, which is that it depends on how you display yourself too, right? So look, before I met you and I started posting you all over my Instagram, I got tons of DMS every day. I mean, I've got to be before, like I'm A or after, like I'm a, like Z list celebrity, like Z, you know, maybe, maybe Y on a good day. But, you know, I had 300,000 followers on Instagram, you know, a lot of. And so before I started posting you on my account, I would get a lot of DMS every day from women. But once I started posting you, and women are like, okay, he's with the woman. And not only is he with the woman, because that's the other thing is women will still DM a guy that's with the woman. He's professing his love for the woman. He has a family. It's clear that he wants to be with this woman. And if you DM him, he's gonna call you out, type of like, I better not mess with this guy. It all shuts down.

Nicole [00:43:39]: I thought you said women go after men that are with women.

John [00:43:43]: They do, they do. It's desirable, right? But it's whether or not you entertain it or not. Well, like Rodrigo was saying, you know, the rock stars that put out the image of, yeah, you want to have a good time? Sure, we can have a good time. You know, I'm an equal opportunity employer. Those guys are opening their dm, they're going to get a lot more hit ups because they're putting out that image, right? And they might even be with someone and still put out that image, right? Like Russell Brand put out that image for a long time, right? Now he's getting the short end of it, but because now he's made a good image for himself and now all this shit's coming back to him. Whereas when he had a bad image, it didn't matter. Women were like, who cares? Right? But what I'm saying is that it's also what you're doing, how you're putting yourself, portraying yourself, right? I'm not posting thirst traps like I.

Nicole [00:44:39]: Was sometimes, like, I was, you know, you were Supposed to.

John [00:44:46]: You know what I'm saying? Like. But again, like I said, I'm a Z list celebrity, so I don't. Like, it's not even that, but. But I know.

Nicole [00:44:51]: But all women are a Z list celebrity.

John [00:44:54]: Yeah, that's true. Yeah. All women.

Nicole [00:44:55]: You have all the guys being like, hey, hey.

John [00:44:58]: But, hey, I just know from my experience and what I saw and the DMs that I would get, and I'm not. Like I said, I.

Nicole [00:45:07]: What's the craziest DM that you could remember that you got?

John [00:45:11]: I would.

Nicole [00:45:13]: I would drive eight hours.

John [00:45:15]: No, no. I wish I. I. Something like, I can't remember what you did. Like, I wish I was underwear, a deer, a doe, and you could just grab me by the neck. Like, if I was a deer, you could just. What? Something like that.

Nicole [00:45:32]: That's not even good.

John [00:45:33]: It was. It was better. I don't remember because I wish I was a deer. I blocked that whole part of my life out of my. Out of my mind.

Nicole [00:45:40]: I wish I was a deer.

John [00:45:43]: I only remember it from secondhand memories because I've lost all the. I've blocked all that part of my life out of my mind, you know?

Nicole [00:45:50]: And I'm just curious how ratchet it gets. Like, I'm sure it can get ratchet, especially if you're on tour with, like, a band that has. Or a artist that has that reputation, you know, where they're more, like, wild.

John [00:46:02]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:46:04]: I can only imagine, like, the Tommy Lee thing. I don't even want to know, like, what Tommy Lee and all that sort of vibe was, but I'm sure it's still pretty crazy today.

John [00:46:14]: Yeah.

Guest/Brief Speaker [00:46:15]: I mean, it.

John [00:46:20]: I'm like.

Guest/Brief Speaker [00:46:20]: I'm trying to be careful here, but, yeah, it gets. It gets pretty insane.

John [00:46:26]: Some noise complaints.

Guest/Brief Speaker [00:46:28]: Noise complaints, definitely more than two people per bed type of thing. So pretty wild.

John [00:46:38]: But that is the lesson, though, that, like, because what Rodrigo said from the last one, I was thinking, like, is that. I mean, it is true. Like, a man that is high enough value, high enough status, you know, sex symbol, he can have women that will be 100% loyal to him and multiple at the same time that will. They will be like, I will share this man. Right? Like, that's. That is what.

Nicole [00:47:04]: Okay, I need to look into the camera. Women, hold your hand while I say this. Do not be a hundred percent loyal to a rock star, a rapper, a football player or basketball player or whatever sort of athlete. Don't even go down that.

John [00:47:24]: It doesn't even have to be.

Nicole [00:47:25]: Don't be 100% loyal to someone that you know is not 100% loyal to you.

John [00:47:30]: A high enough status man can do that, though. Like, that is.

Nicole [00:47:33]: I'm not saying he can't, but I'm saying that women should not put themselves in a position where they're fully committed to somebody.

John [00:47:40]: Right, I agree.

Nicole [00:47:41]: That is treating them like order number 69.

John [00:47:45]: Right, right. And like, look, you can be a high status man, but not a gentleman.

Nicole [00:47:52]: No.

John [00:47:52]: Like, you know what I'm saying? So. Because I've had coaching clients of mine that are pretty high status guys that have been in that situation and I've had to tell them, I'm like, look, yeah, I know that she's gonna let.

Nicole [00:48:05]: You do whatever you want in that situation.

John [00:48:06]: Okay? I didn't want.

Nicole [00:48:08]: Were you talking about yourself?

John [00:48:09]: No, no, no. But I didn't want to stop. Okay, so I'm a changed man. But yes, in my days, I did experience. That's how I know these things are true.

Nicole [00:48:21]: Right, Because I'm not saying they're not true.

John [00:48:23]: No, no, I know, I know you're not saying. But I'm saying that's how I know the things are true because I experienced them. Right, But. But I've had coaching clients of mine where I've had to tell them, Right. You know, the reformed version of John had to tell him. The old version told him something different probably, but the reformed version told him, look, I know she'll do whatever and she'll let you do whatever and she'll follow you to the end of the earth, but is that really fair to her? Especially, you know, rocks don't care about that. Yeah, but it's not like. Yeah, I get it. But it's like, like, do you, you know, like, yes, you can have the three at the same time. It's like, but is it really, you.

Nicole [00:49:00]: Know, do the right thing?

John [00:49:01]: Well, and that's the other lesson of it too, which is, which is for guys, right? For not getting canceled. It's like, and I tell guys this all the time when I was doing dating, coaching and teaching them, you know, how to get laid, basically. And I would say, like, okay, if you're on a dating app or something, or you're out and the girl's asking you, what are you looking for? Like, say it in gentlemanly terms, but basically be like, oh, yeah, nothing serious. I'm just looking to have some fun. Right? Because red flag. No, no.

Nicole [00:49:29]: But as a woman.

John [00:49:29]: Well, yes, yes.

Nicole [00:49:30]: I mean, he's telling the story.

John [00:49:31]: No, but many times a Woman will be like, relieved. She already knew that's what you were doing. And she's like, okay, yeah, let's go back to your house. And now, the next day, guess what doesn't happen? You're not in. You're not on blast. You're not in the. All over the Internet. You're not getting canceled. Right. You're not getting charges. Right. Because you were honest up front about what you wanted, and then you got what you wanted.

Nicole [00:49:58]: You didn't manipulate them.

John [00:49:59]: Whereas when a woman is like, oh, what are you looking for? And you're like, oh, yeah, you know, I'm not entirely sure, but, I mean, I'm open to a relationship. I'm kind of looking to just see what's out there and see if something develops.

Nicole [00:50:16]: You're saying I could press charges for that? Because I used to hear that a lot. I could press some charges.

John [00:50:21]: I'm talking about false ones. Yeah, women think that sometimes, and then they do it, and then it's like, no, no, it counts. Even if you think it's a mistake later, it still counts.

Nicole [00:50:32]: It's just annoying to hear a guy say that and then find out that he didn't actually want. I was kidding.

John [00:50:37]: But it's. It's. That's why women are refreshed. You know, again, when I coach guys, I was like, oh, but your batting average went up when you told the truth. Like, more women want to sleep with you.

Nicole [00:50:47]: Yes. More men should tell the truth.

John [00:50:48]: Right? Yeah. Again, these women should not do that. Right. Obviously. They should be like, no, I'm not that kind of girl. That should be the response. Right.

Nicole [00:50:58]: And then leave.

John [00:50:59]: Yeah. And then leave and be like, you got to actually treat me like a lady. I'm a lady. You know? That should be the response.

Nicole [00:51:05]: Unfortunately, you can rehabilitate a man that's in the hoe phase. Yeah, we've seen it happen.

John [00:51:12]: But. But that's what I'm saying is, though, that. That is a very good lesson, is that if you don't want to get canceled and you're worried about me too, and all this stuff, be forthright with your intentions. You don't have to be vulgar. You don't have to be like, I just want to like that. Like, let's not some guys say that. Dtf. But. But you can be like, yeah, I'm not looking for anything serious. I'm just looking to have fun with fun people or something like that. You know, Fun women.

Nicole [00:51:35]: Fun people don't say fun women.

John [00:51:38]: Just putting golf, looking for the hole. Just on the green. But that's the thing, is, if you're truthful about it, your percentage is going to go up and you're not going to have the fallout. It's when people hide things. Just like, if you're openly. Yeah, I'm an asshole. Okay. The Coldplay incident was a great one, right?

Nicole [00:52:03]: Yeah, we got to talk about that.

John [00:52:04]: Because people have been asking Astronomy CEO, whatever, the camera comes on him and he's like, oh. And he ducks out of the way like he's doing something wrong. You know, pushes her out. Like. Like, you know, fend for him. So if he would have been like. If the camera came on him and he was like, rock on. And then he, like, made out.

Nicole [00:52:24]: Rock on. This is Hang 10.

John [00:52:25]: Oh, Hang 10. What? This is Rock on.

Nicole [00:52:27]: I love you in sign language. Like this.

John [00:52:31]: But this is.

Nicole [00:52:32]: No, the. This is Rock on.

John [00:52:33]: Okay, fine. Rock on. Whatever. Okay.

Nicole [00:52:36]: You can tell John doesn't go to a lot. I mean, you have gone to some shows with me that you should know. Rock on. But we're learning.

John [00:52:43]: But. And I only have Rockstar Developer University. I guess I better fucking learn it.

Nicole [00:52:47]: But that's true.

John [00:52:49]: But, yeah, but if he would have been like, rock on. And then he just started making out with her. And then when they're like, dude, that's not your wife, first of all, no one would have even noticed it wasn't his wife. Right? No, it would have never even. You know. But if.

Nicole [00:53:04]: But he also shouldn't get away with it.

John [00:53:06]: I agree. But I'm just saying, like, you know, there's psychology and there's morals, and they're not the same. But what I'm saying is that. That if he. If he. Even if he did it, made people, made a big thing of it, then if instead of issuing this apology letter, he's like, man, I just. Hey, I can't. I can't. I just love rock and roll. I just love rock and roll. I love women. You know, I can't help it. Like, it's just. I try to keep under control, but it's just who I am, man. I just like. I just love women. I'm a womanizer. What can I say? Then people have been like, okay, there's no story here.

Nicole [00:53:40]: They'd be like, you suck as a person.

John [00:53:42]: Yeah. They've been like, you suck. And then he would have. No one would ever heard of him again. You know, all the shit. He wouldn't have gotten fired, had to resign or any of that shit. It's. When you don't own the shit. Like, when you are like, this is who I am again, doesn't mean that you should, like, be an asshole to everyone. But what I'm saying is, when you're not doing stuff in secret, when you're like. Or when you do get caught and you just take responsibility, like, yeah, you know what? I.

Nicole [00:54:05]: If you're genuine. That's the thing is being genuine.

John [00:54:07]: Yeah. What I did was wrong, but I'm gonna do it anyway. Cause I want to. Okay. That's also respectable. What I did was wrong. I shouldn't do it. I'm not gonna do it anymore. That's also respectable. But I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done this. It's such a big mistake. Like, no. Like, you're.

Nicole [00:54:21]: Yeah. It doesn't feel genuine.

John [00:54:23]: Like a coward.

Nicole [00:54:24]: So any other tidbits to round out the episode or did we cover all of them?

Guest/Brief Speaker [00:54:33]: I think, yeah, I think. I mean, that's pretty much it. There's just more colorful versions of what I've said.

John [00:54:39]: But, yeah, I'm sure in my days, my dark days, I would be like. I'd be like, okay, at the hotel room, she's naked. Good job, John. You did it. You did. I'm like, oh, shoot, Now I gotta.

Nicole [00:54:54]: Now I gotta.

John [00:54:55]: Actually, yeah, it's like, I'm kinda tired. But I mean, I gotta. It doesn't really count if you don't, you know? So it's like, like. But I'm like, that's horrible. I know, I know, I know it's horrible. But it's like. But that's the. That's like. That was the mentality of, like, look at me, I'm the man. Right? It's like. It wasn't like, the sex doesn't matter, right?

Nicole [00:55:13]: It's like, yeah, you heard it here. The sex doesn't matter. Women so do not give it to men unless they work for it.

John [00:55:19]: They just want to know that they could get it. Oh, that's it. But that's the psychology. You know, it's like. I mean, women can. Women can easily outsmart men if they know how to. Like, it's very easy. Right? Like, we talked about that on other episodes of the podcast. I can't remember the last thing I was saying about.

Nicole [00:55:36]: About what would be a damsel in distress.

John [00:55:38]: Yeah. Jesus Christ, you just control any man like that. Or. Or we were saying something else and you. And you said, oh, I don't want to be manipulative. What was that? But I. I was going to tell you More about that.

Nicole [00:55:49]: Oh, it was recently.

John [00:55:50]: Yeah, yeah. What was that about? It was some video we saw.

Nicole [00:55:57]: Hold on.

John [00:55:58]: Oh, I know what it was. I know the woman wanted the man to hang a painting.

Nicole [00:56:02]: Oh. And she said, tell me how to do it, not ask him to do it. Explain how to do it. She was like, can you hang up this picture? And he's like, later. And then she was like, can you show me or explain to me how to hang up this picture? And then he got up and he, like, did it, the level and the whole thing.

John [00:56:19]: And actually, I was going to talk to you more about that because it's fine if you do that to me. It's not manipulation, because two people win. Because, guess what?

Nicole [00:56:28]: You get to talk and mansplain things.

John [00:56:30]: Yes.

Nicole [00:56:30]: And I get the thing done.

John [00:56:32]: Because men are so in need of respect, they're so deprived of respect and someone to admire them that it's like, I'll hang up 50 million paintings if you'll sit there and watch me do it and, like, cheer for me. I think women makes me feel good. It makes you feel good. So it's not really manipulation because it's a benefit to both parties, but it's smart. Like, women should. Should think, okay, if I show this, like, just sitting there and paying attention and just watching me do it and admiring what I'm doing or wanting my advice or thinking what I'm doing is valuable, that is a huge benefit to your partner. Because most men don't get that, and that's why they cheat with their secretaries. Honestly. Not that it's right, but I'm saying it's a smart move to make.

Nicole [00:57:20]: But here's the thing that I think women are afraid of is that if then the man thinks the woman can't do anything, and then he treats her differently, like, he treats her poorly.

John [00:57:30]: He treats her more feminine, not poorly. See, that's the thing is that's the miss. Like, he's gonna treat her more feminine. He's gonna be like, let me open the door for you. Oh, your hands are too delicate. Let me take that for you. Let me handle the wrench. You don't deal with that. You don't have to answer the door. You don't deal with some random person at the door. I will deal with that.

Nicole [00:57:49]: I've been dealing with random people.

John [00:57:51]: Necessity. But I would shield you from it if I could, you know, But. But that's the thing is, like, he will treat her more delicate and more feminine. You don't have to worry about a man Thinking you can't handle yourself. Let him think that. He knows.

Nicole [00:58:03]: They're not worried about that. I think they're worried about being treated poorly by a man if he views her as weaker or she can't do this.

John [00:58:13]: If you respect and admire a man and show how much you respect and admire him, you think he's gonna treat you poorly.

Nicole [00:58:19]: Look, I agree with you.

John [00:58:21]: I'm trying to go through all of.

Nicole [00:58:24]: It so that women can hear the whole process. They also don't have a relationship.

John [00:58:28]: That's why we're having this dialogue.

Nicole [00:58:29]: And they don't have a man that does the gentlemanly things. And so they might be nervous to initiate by being like, oh, can you show me how to do this? And then, because they might have husbands, that'll be like, can't you do it? Like, that's the reality that women might be faced with when they do this, that you're saying. And so I'm trying to get their perspective out. You're talking to me from your perspective, which is not a majority of men.

John [00:58:55]: Well, okay, let me tell you something also, that we go off of so many tangents, but that I've been learning as I've been deeply into sales, Right? Like, I'm learning to do sales. Tonality is 80%. It's not what you say. It's the tonality. So if you come to a man and you're like, hey, could you show me how to hang this painting, you lazy piece of shit? You know, like, that's the tone. Yeah. He's like, well, can't you do it yourself? But if you're like, you're so great.

Nicole [00:59:31]: At hanging stuff and you're so handy. Can you show me how to do this?

John [00:59:36]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:59:37]: That's what it has to say.

John [00:59:38]: And hey, if you gotta throw a little sugar on top, be like, oh, it just turns me on.

Nicole [00:59:42]: A big, strong muscle. Yes.

John [00:59:44]: It turns me on so much.

Nicole [00:59:45]: Oh, my God.

John [00:59:46]: Right? Like, yeah, it's easy. Why not do the easy thing that benefits both parties? It's like, women need. Women on average are smarter than men on average. Men are outliers at the bottom and top. So more men are dumber than the dumbest women, and more men are smarter than the smartest women. But on the average, women are smarter than men. They need to use that to. Again, I'm not saying manipulate, but to create win, win situations where they win just a little bit more.

Nicole [01:00:14]: Okay, right?

John [01:00:15]: Like, it's not that hard.

Nicole [01:00:17]: You heard it here. If we all get in trouble, women, it's John's fault. But, I mean, I won't be getting in trouble with you.

John [01:00:23]: Men are so starved for respect and admiration that there's such an opportunity there.

Nicole [01:00:32]: That's true.

John [01:00:33]: If you're willing to do that. You know what I'm saying? And it's not degrading. It's not like it's a win win situation. So I think it's good.

Nicole [01:00:39]: Like Lana told us, give the compliments and practice. Do we have an end segment?

John [01:00:49]: I mean, we. I mean, I. I don't want to have to knock on wood by saying something that's going to make us knock on wood. But it's been a long time and we've been rocking, rocking out with our socks on.

Nicole [01:01:08]: Yeah, we're doing well. Knock on wood. Knock on wood.

John [01:01:10]: Knock on wood. Yeah, I don't think there's anything here.

Nicole [01:01:14]: Well, yeah, then I guess that's it.

John [01:01:15]: All right.

Nicole [01:01:16]: Hopefully this had enough drama for you guys.

John [01:01:19]: Yeah. Like, and subscribe. Visit if you're in San Diego or you want to come to San Diego and start a podcast. Peapod Studios peapodstudios.com peapod the studio.com or search on Instagram for Peapod Studio. You'll find it. It is literally the best podcast recording studio in San Diego with the best producer. Producer. And follow us on Instagram, all the stuff. But go to betterthanperfectpod.com and subscribe so you can get our episodes and they come out on there on our website.

Nicole [01:02:02]: And just share the gospel.

John [01:02:04]: Share the word, share the love. If you got a question for us, you can email us.

Nicole [01:02:08]: Yeah. If you want again, like, us to do a whole episode. If you have a question where we could do a whole episode or we could even do half of the episode. Send us whatever you're going through.

John [01:02:18]: But if you DM us with, like, trying to throw yourself out, either one of us, you're just gonna get the block. The block and the. And if you're married, you're gonna get.

Nicole [01:02:33]: See one.

John [01:02:34]: Yeah. No, if you. And, and if you're married, you're gonna get on blast. That's it. So, yeah, we haven't had. We'll find you, though. We'll blast you. So.

Nicole [01:02:43]: Yeah, you're not safe here. Yeah, we are not rock stars.

John [01:02:46]: Yeah. And if you, if you did, you know, do your thing with the rock star or whatever, just keep it. Don't, you know, like, just. Let's, let's not talk about that ever again.

Nicole [01:02:55]: Don't and don't. Yeah, don't throw yourself at anybody.

John [01:02:58]: We still love you. But.

Nicole [01:02:59]: But.

John [01:02:59]: Yeah, that's not. Let's keep it so. All right.

Nicole [01:03:03]: Keep it on the deal.

John [01:03:04]: See you next week.

Nicole [01:03:05]: Bye.