John [00:00:00]: It's kind of like that trope is like, you know, women used to make fun of men and say that they will never ask for directions. Why? Because they're too prideful to do it. But today, I guess men are like, you drive.

Nicole [00:00:10]: Yeah.

John [00:00:10]: You figure it out. Right? That's what's missing. And that's why, also, men should be fixing their relationships and taking the responsibility. If you think women. Western women are broken, don't blame it on them. Blame it on you. Take responsibility. Have enough pride to be like, I'm a man. I can handle this.

Nicole [00:00:26]: Men don't realize that when they act like they have it handled and they're trying to actually handle things. A woman and will trust you more.

John [00:00:33]: Beyond the perfect, we discover through our flaws, we complete each other. Better than perfect. We stay through every fault. We find our way. All right, welcome back to the better than perfect podcast, where every week we share with you how two imperfect people helping each other grow equals one better than perfect relationship.

Nicole [00:01:01]: You did it.

John [00:01:02]: I did it.

Nicole [00:01:03]: You go. You go, boy. But, yeah, that was good. I was, like, waiting. I was like, is he gonna say grow? And you did it Was flawless. All right, well, there's plenty we could open this up with. Do you want to open this up with anything specific or you want to go straight into the topic or.

John [00:01:25]: I mean, we should address. I mean, the topic of today is not the Passport Bros thing, but. But we should talk a couple of things, clarify a few points. I think that people have misconstrued about the subject. I think, first of all, like, the racism. I think that's a pretty ridiculous thing. But obviously, we're not saying that people or women in other countries are lesser.

Nicole [00:01:53]: Or less intelligent in any way.

John [00:01:55]: Right.

Nicole [00:01:55]: We're strictly talking about women who are repressed in whatever country it is and in whatever situation that might make her repressed. Some countries, it's the actual laws that make women repressed. In some countries, it's just the culture and. Or certain things like that that make women repressed. And those are typically the women that these men are going after.

John [00:02:17]: Right? Exactly.

Nicole [00:02:18]: Because they haven't worked on themselves. They want somebody that will just not hold them accountable. And that was the whole point of the Passport Bros. And we're not talking about guys are in the military or guys who are just traveling and they meet a woman. Like, this is specifically about Passport Bros, what we were talking about.

John [00:02:35]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:02:36]: The guys who hate American women.

John [00:02:38]: Right.

Nicole [00:02:39]: And then want to go find a certain type of woman, and then some of the men, too. Are trying to be like, oh well, like there's women who work and have good work ethic and do things like that in other countries. We're also not really talking about those women because to a passport, bro, that's not the type of woman they're looking for. They're not looking for a woman that has similar sort of attributes that an American woman would have, like working and, you know, focusing on her career and things like that. They're looking for the more traditional woman, which is what they say. So they. A lot of the guys in those comments were trying to manipulate what we were saying. Again, they were going off of the clips mostly. A lot of these people.

John [00:03:22]: Yeah, you gotta watch the full episode.

Nicole [00:03:23]: Yeah, they don't watch the full thing. So they're going based off clips and then they're throwing all these accusations out.

John [00:03:28]: But yeah, and it's like, you know, there's gonna be women in a lot of those countries where they are legit running scams on the guys that are coming in, trying to.

Nicole [00:03:40]: Right. Which is not all women, but it's.

John [00:03:42]: Not all of them.

Nicole [00:03:43]: But American women can do the same thing and like any woman anywhere can do the same thing.

John [00:03:49]: Right.

Nicole [00:03:49]: That's what guys call gold diggers. Right. Like that's essentially like a scam, like using somebody for something.

John [00:03:56]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:03:56]: Like it just to think that you can go somewhere and all your problems will be solved is the problem with the passport, bro.

John [00:04:03]: Yeah, it's, it's, it's trying to, trying to get a crutch. Like it's like this, it's like, look, if you went, if you're a baseball player and you couldn't make it in the major leagues or whatever, and then you went and joined a little league team. Right. And you're like, see how good I am? Okay.

Nicole [00:04:26]: You're like knocking five year olds out of the way.

John [00:04:29]: Yeah. It's like, okay, I like, yes, you're winning the games, but you're playing in the little leagues now. So that's kind of what it looks like to me when you're going to another. An undeveloped country. Right. An undeveloped country. Right. Where there's not as much opportunity, where it's the equivalent. The other equivalent I was going to say is it's like if you're a billionaire in the United States. Right. You're going to have a lot of women that will suddenly be very feminine to you. Right. We'll pretend to be. They're going to cook for you, they're going to do whatever you want. Right, Right. Are they really interested in you? Are they interested in the opportunity to be with a billionaire? You go over there, you know, you're American, you make decent money, whatever. You go over to an undeveloped country, a third world country, and it's like being a billionaire there. And yeah. When you say, oh, yeah, the women are so much better there. No, they're better to you.

Nicole [00:05:31]: Right.

John [00:05:31]: Because you're like a billionaire. You know what I mean? That's the same thing. It's. You're. You're playing T ball. Okay.

Nicole [00:05:37]: And these women want good men, too.

John [00:05:40]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:05:41]: And a lot of these guys go over there and they can pretend to be a certain type of guy.

John [00:05:45]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:05:45]: They can pretend to be a good guy for like, a week, and then they get married really fast or whatever they're trying to do. And then the situation isn't necessarily the same. And just, like, in the full episode, like, they don't usually have that intimacy and that connection that a real relationship has, because it wasn't. He didn't have those intentions from the beginning. No man that I've seen that supports Passport Bros Is like, I want a woman who loves me and desires me and treats me like a king. It's always how he is always describing how she has to act.

John [00:06:22]: Right, Right.

Nicole [00:06:23]: And that's what he's looking for. And so it's not about her. It's not about loving somebody. It's not about being in love. It's about having these certain characteristics. She has to be traditional, and she has to not talk back, and she has to be, you know, this, this, and this. Not once do they mention she has to like me for me. She has to love me. And that's the whole issue.

John [00:06:46]: Yeah. Yeah. And there's, you know, not to get too far into it, but there's two ways as a man to get a woman to be submissive to you and respectful and more feminine. And one of them is by being a man who earns that because of.

Nicole [00:07:05]: Who you are and shows her he can do that.

John [00:07:08]: Right. And the other way is through arbitrage, where you're going somewhere where you present such a good opportunity. You see what I'm saying? It's not because of.

Nicole [00:07:19]: Well, one's sustainable and one's not. Because how long can you act like the man versus actually being the man?

John [00:07:26]: And those guys even admit they're like, all right, because we're like, oh, well, what happens when you bring her back to the US and like, oh, we're not gonna do that. Cause you know, what will Happen because you know that you're just, you're running a.

Nicole [00:07:42]: It's not a legitimate relationship. It's more of an arrangement. And we kind of talked about this like at home. We didn't talk about it on the episode that it's not even like an arranged marriage. Because in an arranged marriage, both people are working on it, right? And they're trying to make it work. Even if they got set up and they didn't know anything about each other. Yeah, they're working towards love. They're working towards building an actual relationship, even though they didn't start out like finding each other and having that instant connection. Whereas with the passport bros again, I've never seen any of them talk about the connection, talk about building the love.

John [00:08:20]: Right?

Nicole [00:08:20]: And even in one of the comments on the YouTube video, it was just about, oh, well, my friend went and got a wife from the Philippines and she works really hard and now she makes more than him. There was nothing about love. They might still be together, but there was nothing about love. There's nothing about, you know, how well their relationship has developed and how much respect and love they have for each other. They're the love of each other's lives. Like, none of that. There's never any of that.

John [00:08:47]: No. And again, I don't disagree with the guy. I think I told you, I think Filipino people are really great. There's a lot of really good hard working, you know, it's a good culture. If I, if I hire someone, I usually hire people from the Philippines because of that work ethic and just how they are. But that doesn't mean that you still can not have the other stuff that you're like, you still need to have the relationship. And the biggest thing I always tell guys all the time is it doesn't matter what you do, it matters why you do it. Nothing is wrong by doing it. Your attention makes sense why you do a thing. And so it's like, look, because I have coaching clients of mine that have gone overseas and not for the purpose of, because they couldn't get laid here, so they have to go there, but because it's a better opportunity for them starting a business. It's cheaper, cost of living and whatnot. And then they have found that, oh, wow, I actually have a lot more dating success here and the women treat me better. And I'll admit that that is the case in that. But. But the difference there, right, is that these guys are doing it not because they can't get paid in the US or they hate American Women, they're doing it because they're.

Nicole [00:10:07]: Cause they went for a different opportunity, and now they're there. So now they're dating. That's again, that's not safe. That's not a passport.

John [00:10:15]: You're not running away from something. You're not being a victim. You're not working on yourself. It's like, if you're like, oh, I can't. Yeah, I'm not good enough here, so I'm gonna go over there. You're just running away from your problem. And that's the biggest issue that I have is because it's the victim mindset. Like, fix your problem. And then if you're. Like, if you. If you legit, tell me, hey, look, I have success dating in the U.S. you know, women. Women are great, but I prefer women that are Asian. Like, I prefer the look, I prefer. You know, and so that's why I went over date. Yeah. And I'm going over there to date them and that. I just have better compatibility. Okay, fine. I'm not gonna. Why am I gonna complain about that?

Nicole [00:10:58]: It's still not a passport, bro. Like, everybody knows what we mean by passport, bro. But they're trying to manipulate the situation. That's the whole thing. Because we're not talking about those instances, and I think we made it pretty clear. But if we haven't, then this part definitely makes it clear. But, yeah, it's just not the same. And there is a difference. And men know there's a difference. The comment that you read is a passport, bro. It's that disdain for American women and the issues that are very obvious when you read that comment. What this man has, and instead of working on himself and trying to figure out where he might have some healing that he needs to do, he's gonna go and just try to put a band aid over it with some woman from another country.

John [00:11:44]: And what these guys need to realize, I think too, is that I understand the problem with Western women, with Western culture, with Western society. Let's make it more broad. Instead of calling out women, because that same disease that infects Western women infects Western men in a different way. And this is what we see from it. So it's like you're looking at these women and you're calling out, they're on OnlyFans. They're showing their butt on Instagram. They're all the things that they're doing right. Partying and not caring. All this. I know what it is. And the wokeness and all, believe me, for all that stuff. I get it. I understand it. But you're not realizing that on the flip side, right, if we look at that same poison, that same poison is the same poison that you're ingesting in a different way. It's just you're not putting your butt on OnlyFans as a man, but you're being. Becoming angry, you're becoming a.

Nicole [00:12:41]: And then women don't want anything to do with you, so they're doing everything else to try to not have to deal with men like that.

John [00:12:47]: Exactly. Selfish. 50. 50. All of the. I could list the whole thing, and we will in this episode. But I'm just saying is it's like, yeah, there is a problem with Western society and Western culture. We all know that. But it's not specifically just to women. And it's not specifically just to men.

Nicole [00:13:05]: Right?

John [00:13:05]: It is. You know, we all have to take. Our. Women have to do better and take more accountability and fix those things. And that's. But men have to learn to lead because they're the ones that set the pace and set the example and that. And masculinity is the action taking forward, moving. Right. And femininity follows it. And feminine needs a masculine space of protection in order to exist. So when guys are complaining about women not being feminine, they are responsible for it, not them directly.

Nicole [00:13:38]: But men can come for you.

John [00:13:40]: But it's true, because femininity cannot exist without having the space for it.

Nicole [00:13:44]: I mean, I agree. And even women that are. Because again, I've mentioned this many times, I think women are trying to get back to being feminine.

John [00:13:52]: Right.

Nicole [00:13:53]: But. And the thing is, when a woman's single, she is in her masculine. When she goes and works and things like that, that is a more like masculine thing. But at home she's doing more feminine things because that's her safe space. Right?

John [00:14:06]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:14:06]: And so. And when you're dating as a woman, dating is not safe for women. It's not safe to automatically jump out the gate and be 100% feminine towards a man.

John [00:14:16]: Right.

Nicole [00:14:17]: You don't know what his intentions are. And I'm not saying that women should be masculine on a date.

John [00:14:21]: Right.

Nicole [00:14:22]: But I'm saying that she's still going to have a blend of feminine and masculine when she goes on a date with you, because she has to. I literally used to go on dates with a box cutter in my purse. Like that sounds ridiculous. But as a woman, you have to be prepared. Like now, if we went somewhere and I'm with you, I don't carry around a box cutter. Because I have you, you know, But I'm just saying that it. Men have to understand that even if they're not creating an unsafe space for a woman, women have to be safe.

John [00:14:55]: And again, guys don't get it because they haven't seen the text messages. They haven't. I've seen them.

Nicole [00:15:01]: Yeah.

John [00:15:02]: I've seen them from you. I've seen them from your friends. I've seen them when I dated women and they showed me the things, and it's like, yeah, guys are. I mean, they'll be the nicest guy in the world saying all this stuff. And then as soon as they feel like you're ghosting them or rejecting them in some way, they're like, I mean, I would be scared if they had my address.

Nicole [00:15:22]: Right.

John [00:15:22]: You know what I mean? Because I don't know what they're gonna do.

Nicole [00:15:24]: Exactly. Exactly.

John [00:15:26]: Yeah. So it is. Yeah.

Nicole [00:15:28]: I hope men can understand you saying it, though, because I know even when we first got together, like, you understood.

John [00:15:35]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:15:36]: But like you've said now that you've seen, like, some of my friends and you've seen the reactions, too, from us doing this together and things like that, I think you have gotten a better understanding. Not that you didn't understand before, but it's like you are actually kind of on the other side.

John [00:15:51]: And see, a lot of guys are saying, oh, she's changed you. She's. You know, and it's like, no, it's more of a magnification. Right. It's like, it's more me doubling down on the stuff that I was already saying.

Nicole [00:16:04]: Right. Well, now you have proof too. Right? Like, before, you would maybe be like, oh, well, maybe it's not that big of a deal like you're saying it is, which a lot of men do. They're like, oh, women make all this stuff up. But now that you can actually see some of the stuff.

John [00:16:20]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:16:21]: You realize that it's more important to give this message to men. And men don't see that because they, again, don't have that behind the scenes, like, seeing this stuff actually unfold in real life. They think it's a myth that they don't want to believe. Right, exactly. They don't want to believe that men get angry and do this sort of stuff to women. Even though if you look at the comments, these men are angry and they're saying a bunch of stuff on a comment. So why wouldn't they say that to a woman?

John [00:16:46]: Right, Exactly.

Nicole [00:16:47]: That they're upset with. Yeah. So, yeah, I, you know, I'M glad that you're getting more of a perspective. Again, I'm not saying that women don't have any responsibility and don't need to take accountability and don't have things to work on.

John [00:17:01]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:17:02]: But. And again, this kind of goes back to when we tried to do an episode on the woman's side of what they struggle with. And you had to do it because I was like, look, if I say it, they're not going to believe it at all. Like they're not really going to listen. And they probably didn't even fully listen to you. But it's different when you actually see it.

John [00:17:24]: Yeah. And like I said, I mean, it's. It's not me changing my viewpoint. I've always been against the victim mindset. Right. It's. And it's also not that women don't have any problems.

Nicole [00:17:39]: Right.

John [00:17:39]: Like I said, we just did an episode on a book that women should read called the Surrendered Wife. You know, it's like women have a lot of issues and there is a lot of issues in Western society that is systemic and causes problem. But my whole thing, cause I've been coaching men for a long time, is that I do expect. And I guess we're gonna get into the topic, but I do have a higher expectation of men because they are the leaders and the protectors and the fighters. Right. And so I could sit here and I could bash women, I could point out plenty of flaws about women. Right. But there's no purpose in me doing that because I don't expect that to be effective and it wouldn't be. But I do expect men, when I call out their flaws and their issues because they're leaders, to step up. Because I know that that is what is going to make the change is mental. I don't expect women to lead the charge of changing Western society. How foolish would that be if. What I'm saying is that men should be leaders in stepping up and being men, but I expect women to lead the charge in that happening.

Nicole [00:18:51]: It doesn't make any sense, authoritative in any way.

John [00:18:54]: I think a lot of guys think that. I don't understand the whole. The bad things women do. I completely understand. I completely, believe me. I have a daughter. We have a daughter and I. We just had a conversation this week about strippers and not stuff like. So just this kind of stuff that, you know, they gets in their heads from what's out there and from what women are doing. So I understand completely all the stuff that happens.

Nicole [00:19:22]: And here's the thing that I think both men and women need to realize when they're single is that you can't change women can't change men, and men can't change women. Change yourself.

John [00:19:34]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:19:34]: Focus on the things that you need to work on yourself. And then when you get in a relationship, you'll realize there are things that you need to heal within that too. But you'll be in a better head space. And you'll have known that you can do hard things like break bad habits or heal certain things that you've been carrying around that you don't need to carry around. And then it'll make when you get in that situation better. Because women can't fix these men, and men can't fix women. Like, they can, though, by being better versions of themselves. And that's why. And same with women. Like, you can attract the man or.

John [00:20:15]: You can influence them.

Nicole [00:20:17]: Yeah, yeah, influence them by not being with them. I used to tell people, like when I was dating that women don't realize that they have a certain influence over a man by not being with him. Like, if he's interested in her and she's like, hey, like, I've enjoyed talking to you, but there are a few things that, you know, I just don't think we align on. And so, like, I don't think we're a good fit.

John [00:20:43]: Right.

Nicole [00:20:44]: And if he likes you, he might realize, again, you can't control this. You're not doing this to manipulate him. But he might be like, oh, crap, yeah, I am acting this way and I just lost a woman that I do found valuable.

John [00:21:00]: Right.

Nicole [00:21:00]: And so maybe I should work on this thing. Like, women don't realize the power in saying no. And again, some of these men probably will be like, fuck you, bitch. You know, that's normal. Every woman has dealt with a man who acts that way. But at the same time, you never know when you might have influenced a man to better himself because he did value you and you respectfully declined him and told him why.

John [00:21:26]: Right, Yeah, I agree. Yeah.

Nicole [00:21:27]: So again, I think instead of men blaming women and women blaming men, they need to focus on themselves and have standards and have boundaries because you will influence the people you're trying to influence by healing yourself and having these boundaries 100%.

John [00:21:49]: Well, I guess we should get into the actual topic.

Nicole [00:21:52]: I mean, it kind of all works together.

John [00:21:54]: Yeah. The topic for today is the biggest problem with men Today. It's my topic.

Nicole [00:22:03]: So, yeah, clarify that before my topic. She made you pick this topic, John.

John [00:22:11]: I just wonder. These guys think that somehow you're controlling me or what's so crazy about this, right, is that we literally talk about how the man should be the leader. Like, that's what we talk about on this podcast.

Nicole [00:22:24]: Like we're on traditional relationships that they supposedly want.

John [00:22:27]: You're constantly, you're just giving me glowing reviews and praises on this, on this.

Nicole [00:22:33]: Podcast about, you are the best man ever, right?

John [00:22:37]: So I'm like, what, how, in what way is it that, you know, again, it's, it's just, I think maybe they.

Nicole [00:22:45]: Don'T believe it or they think, I.

John [00:22:48]: Don'T know, I don't know, maybe they're jealous.

Nicole [00:22:50]: But I think if people really realized and they listened and they saw a glimpse of our relationship, they would want the same for themselves. And instead of fighting us, right, they should be listening. Even if you don't agree, that's fine. And I think we've said it before, like, if you have an actual, like, educated sort of discussion you want to have in the comments, that's fine. But this whole, like, this is stupid STFU. Like, okay, you look like a 13 year old who is on the Internet.

John [00:23:20]: It's, I clearly lead our relationship, but I do it with love. And I think that's what they can't comprehend.

Nicole [00:23:26]: They can't fathom that comprehend is possible, right?

John [00:23:29]: So it's like, oh, she must be manipulating you. She must be, you know, it's like, no, that's not the, that's the case.

Nicole [00:23:35]: And I think they're still stuck in the traditional relationship of the 50s. They think that they want a woman that doesn't really have any input, right? And that's just not going to happen these days. And I don't think it should happen anyway because I think you're such a better team when you can communicate and, you know, have a sort of conversation about something. And even though you're going to ultimately make the decision, at the end of the day, you see the benefit in us having these conversations. And I see the benefit of when you help me with certain problems that I have and you make certain decisions. And I want to know, hey, why'd you make this decision? It's from a place of curiosity and like learning and growing rather than like a dictatorship, which is what they're thinking of in their mind because that's how it used to be with a traditional relationship. They don't even understand how a woman can help you grow.

John [00:24:31]: Right.

Nicole [00:24:32]: If she gives you her input. And again, it has to be in the correct way, which we've talked about on this Podcast, too, which I guess they forgot about. But I agree that women can be very reactive to conflict or certain things, and they don't handle it properly and they don't handle it respectfully. We've had plenty of conversations about that, and that does need to.

John [00:24:53]: And that's why we recommended that book, too. Right.

Nicole [00:24:55]: Because that's.

John [00:24:56]: Yeah. And the thing to remember is that a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still. Right. And so in this case, a woman convinced him. But if you run things like a dictatorship, if you have a wife that does not give any kind of opinion that she just does what you say and she doesn't have any kind of. She's just like, oh, I just have to do what he.

Nicole [00:25:23]: Yeah, she's a yes woman, basically, then.

John [00:25:26]: She is still of the same opinion. You haven't won her heart. You may have won her mind. She might be obeying you, but she's resenting you.

Nicole [00:25:36]: Right? And I mean, even in her mind, she might be disagreeing, but she might not be saying anything. And like you said, then all the resentment is building up, right? And then something's going to eventually happen.

John [00:25:45]: A good leader wins hearts and minds. A good leader leads people by example. They want to follow him. They don't feel, you know, it's like there's a huge difference between fear and respect. And yeah, you can have people fear you or you can have them love and respect you. And that's a much more powerful form because what happens when the fear has gone away this way? Also, guys, and rightly say, they complain. They say, oh, when I lost my job, then she was gone. As soon as I came on hard times, she was gone. As soon as I wasn't as successful, she was gone. Yeah, that's because in many cases, she was only there because you were the dictator. You were like, you had the power. And because you had the power, she was listening to you based on you having the power. Once you lost the power, she doesn't actually respect you as a man. That's it. But, okay, getting into the thing, what is the biggest problem with men today? I would boil it down to one word. I would say there's actually two things, but one word, which is they lack pride. That is the biggest thing. And so what do I mean by pride? I mean that it means something to be a man. Right? And this comes down to all of the things that we've talked about on this podcast, right, that all of the guys have complained about. And I'll tell you, the 50, 50 guy, right? Why am I gonna pay for. Why am I not gonna allow a woman to pay for something for me? Because I'm a man. Cause I have pride. Cause it would be embarrassing to me, right? To lower myself, to let a woman pay half of a dinner or to pay something for me or to give me, like, I can handle it. I'm a man. I'm a. You know what I'm saying? It's almost like the pride. It's almost like I would rather see these guys be more chauvinist. And maybe that's a more chauvinist viewpoint, but maybe I'm chauvinist, but I've got pride in being a man. Right. You know, and I think it should.

Nicole [00:27:45]: Be more, though, about taking care of people, especially people that are more vulnerable and softer. Because what happens when you have a soft leader? Nothing's going to get done. Like. Like, it's. It's just not going to happen. Like a leader, a true leader, like a gentleman, like you are. You are caring, but you are firm, Right? And that's what they don't realize. And what we've talked about, too, is that with the 50, 50, if I'm also working to contribute half, but then I have to come home and do all the womanly duties still, right. Why wouldn't I be the authority, Right. Why wouldn't I the one who's going to work? Just like you're going to work, Right. But when you get home, you're playing video games and you're watching TV or doing whatever you want to do, like relaxing. But I come home and I have to do dishes and I have to cook dinner and I have to do laundry for both of us, right. I'm doing more work. Why wouldn't I be the authority figure?

John [00:28:49]: Right?

Nicole [00:28:49]: And this is like, not how our life is. I'm just saying, like, as a woman.

John [00:28:53]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:28:54]: Like, this is oftentimes where a lot of these women get in the authority role, because it's understandable. Just like, you know, if a guy came home and he. It was 50. 50, and he did the laundry and he did the dishes and he did whatever, I'm sure the woman would be like, okay, cool. Yeah, I can just sit and watch tv. Like, sure, say whatever you want. Which, like, you know, she should be doing that.

John [00:29:14]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:29:15]: But it still goes in the same respect. Because if a man is being a man and he's handling things financially and he's doing all those things, it will. She will not have a problem with him being authority because he is showing her. Yeah, he can handle it.

John [00:29:30]: Yeah, yeah. Most women won't. Most women.

Nicole [00:29:32]: Well, I mean, like, I'm saying that if they logically think about it, if they're very stuck in their masculine and, like, very feminist ways, then, yeah, they're still gonna resist.

John [00:29:42]: You shouldn't be with that.

Nicole [00:29:43]: Right. Then have the boundaries like we were talking about.

John [00:29:45]: And it's like, I mean, we were talking about this the other night, but it's. A lot of guys rightly say, they say that a woman has more respect for her boss than she treats her boss better, more respectfully than she does her man or her husband. And the right in that, in many cases, that is. That's true. But the difference also is that the boss, right, he's getting paid more money, he's doing more work. He's in charge. He's taking responsibility. Right. He's. So if you want that respect again, you should have the unconditional respect. And we talked about that. But what I'm saying is that you can't be acting like a inferior and expecting superior treatment. If you're the boss, then that doesn't just mean that it's just not as a title that you have. It means that you have that extra responsibility you have to take care of things.

Nicole [00:30:41]: And they don't have the pride to have the responsibility. They don't see that as a prideful thing, that they're. They have this extra responsibility that they have to take care of their family unit, their wife, their kids. They literally will be in the comments like, I don't want another kid. Like, calling their wife another kid or dependent. Like, that mindset is what is keeping them from being the men that you're talking about.

John [00:31:07]: And, you know, you want to know the thing that if you wanted to motivate me more than anything else to just bust my butt and make money and work as hard as possible, you know what it would be that you could do?

Nicole [00:31:19]: What?

John [00:31:19]: You could say, I'm going to get a job because. Because my pride will not allow it. I don't care if I have to work three jobs. I don't care what I have to do. There is no way I'm going to let my wife have to work to make money for a family because I'm not making enough. Do you understand what I'm saying? It's like, that's what pride. Men lack this. They. They don't understand. They're trying to think, oh, it's not fair. I'm like, you're a man. You're supposed to be a man. Does it not mean anything? Like, do you not have enough pride in yourself that you're not going to, you know, that you're like, my wife isn't gonna work. My wife is gonna be taken care of because I'm the man. You know what I'm saying?

Nicole [00:32:03]: Like, do you think that, like, maybe it's because they haven't accomplished very much, so they kind of put themselves down so much that now they kind of live in that expectation? Because I'm trying to think of why.

John [00:32:20]: Why don't they have pride? Because again, it's the same poison, like I said, that they're complaining about that has influenced Western women, has influenced them. But see, they're complaining that Western women are woke and feminist and all this stuff. And I get it, but they don't understand that it's the same poison they're drinking that makes them not have pride. Right, Right. Because if you have pride as a man, right. Then you don't.

Nicole [00:32:45]: It doesn't matter what anyone else is doing. You have pride in yourself and who you are.

John [00:32:50]: And that's the main thing. Because all of these problems that men have, it's the same thing. Like, if I. Which it's not even something that I would. But if I hear some woman saying something that I think is preposterous or ridiculous or I disagree with, like some of these guys do, I'm not gonna comment and whine. I'm gonna be like. I'm gonna laugh to myself and be like, oh, she's so cute, bless her little heart, because I'm prideful. You see what I'm saying? Cause I'm a man, you know what I'm saying? I have enough pride in myself that I'm not gonna belittle myself to show up in the comment section and put myself at the that level if I think it's a lower level. Which I'm not saying that. You know, that when a woman says something that it's. It's at a lower level.

Nicole [00:33:38]: What I'm saying is that.

John [00:33:39]: But if I thought that, that's how I would act, you know what I'm saying? It's like, I'm not going to bring myself down to that level.

Nicole [00:33:44]: I think that is the best point. To not bring yourself down to the level.

John [00:33:49]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:33:50]: Of someone acting that way. And a lot of these guys are at that level, you know, and women don't want to be on the level with them. You know, they're so upset, they're so angry at women that they're actually repelling the women.

John [00:34:03]: Right? Yeah. I mean, it's almost like. It's kind of like that trope is like, you know, women used to make fun of men and say that they will never ask for directions. Why? Because they're too prideful to do it. But today, I guess men are like, you drive.

Nicole [00:34:17]: Yeah.

John [00:34:18]: You figure it out. Right. It's like. That's the thing about it is. It's like that's what's missing. It's missing, again, maybe that, you know, being so prideful that you can't get help, that's a different thing. But I'd at least rather see that character flaw than what we're seeing now, because now it's just like, you should have that level of, I don't need help. That's why also, men should be fixing their relationships and taking the responsibility of, look, if you think Western women are broken, then don't blame it on them. Blame it on you. Take responsibility. Have enough pride to be like, I'm a man. I can handle this. Right. It's like when guys complain, it's like, oh, the woman needs to do all these things. And she. It's like, no, I got it handled. I will make sure that it's taken care of, because I'm the man. I don't need outside help. I don't need. You know, that's the kind of. The mindset. And again, I'm using an extreme version of this, obviously. Right. But I'm doing it to get. The point is that that's what's missing.

Nicole [00:35:20]: Yeah, but. And men don't realize that when they act that way, when they act like they have it handled and they're trying to actually handle things and they're trying to figure things out. A woman will trust you more because you are showing her you're trying to figure this out, and you'll do whatever it takes to figure this out or take care of your family or anything like that. Then she'll have more trust in you as a man.

John [00:35:41]: Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. But that's what it just. It's just missing. I just never hear guys saying, you know, being proud of being. Being a man. And I think part of it is they don't understand masculine. They haven't been raised in that way to be prideful. To, like, to. To think that, you know, and. And. And that comes down to the other thing that, you know, a lot of guys are criticizing about is because they're like, oh, you're just. You're joining the bandwagon. It's always men's fault, Right? And now you're siding with the women against men because whatever, she's gaslighted. You were manipulated. No, I call out men for two reasons. One, I can't stand the victim mindset anywhere. When feminists have it, I don't like it. When men have it and they're doing the exact same thing feminists have, I don't like it. Okay?

Nicole [00:36:30]: They're going to be upset about that.

John [00:36:32]: Well, that's how they act. They act like the exact.

Nicole [00:36:34]: I agree with you.

John [00:36:35]: Opposite of a feminist. The male version of a feminist. That's how they act. A lot of men, not. Not every guy, you know, just like, not everyone. But. But the thing is that I have higher expectations for men than I do for women. I have high expectations for men because.

Nicole [00:36:53]: You know what they're capable of because you do it.

John [00:36:56]: So that's why I come down on them. And maybe I'm being a little harsh at times, but it's because I expect as a man, you can take a beating. You can take the beating that I'm giving you and. And fucking shape up, you know what I mean? And take responsibility. I wouldn't talk to a woman the way I'm talking to men. I wouldn't tell a woman. But a lot of men are talking to women that way. And it's like, that's not. You have to edify and lift up a woman and praise her. That's how women respond. Men are supposed to respond to criticism, essentially coaching the hardship. Like adversity is supposed to bring out the best in a man. Right. And so when I'm coming down on men, it's not because I hate men. That would be such a weird thing. It's because I love men and I want to see them do better. And they're not doing so good. A lot of men. A lot of men are doing good, but a lot of men aren't. And so they need a harsh message. I want you as a man to take responsibility, not to put it off onto society or women. Even though I know the problems of society and I know the problems with women, I want you to take the full responsibility and say, I'm not going to complain. I'm not going to whine about any of these things. I'm just going to do what I can do and I'm going to take responsibility. And see, that's the problem that I have, that's why I get upset about this, is because so many guys don't want to do that.

Nicole [00:38:11]: Yeah. I feel like they have so much emotional damage that they can't get away from. And it's the same thing with women who act disrespectfully and lash out and act, you know, the woman version of how these men are acting.

John [00:38:27]: Right.

Nicole [00:38:28]: It's all this built up emotional trauma and issues that instead of working through, they just continue to add up. And so they're just coming from such an emotional place that when you say these things to men, it's another emotional trauma to them. Right. It's another emotional stab in their body that they have.

John [00:38:53]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:38:53]: So instead of listening and being like, logically, which they're supposed to be more logical than emotional, they're just taking it in emotionally. They're getting hurt and then they're lashing out, which is what these women that they have an issue with do.

John [00:39:08]: Right, exactly.

Nicole [00:39:08]: And they're acting the exact same. And that's also why these people can't go together. And they're attracted to each other because they're the same sort of emotional mess. Right. And so they don't even realize that they're attracting each other towards each other.

John [00:39:25]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:39:25]: And until they work on themselves and work on this part and kind of get through a lot of that emotional issues that they have, they won't attract a partner. And even if they do somehow attract a partner who's not an emotional mess like they are, they will not want anything to do with them. And just like I said in the beginning, if you can't look at yourself where you're like, oh, I really like this person. But they told me, you know, this is the issues that they have. Maybe I should work on these things. If you can't do that, you'll continue the cycle. And it's the same with women. Right. Who go after men that aren't good for them.

John [00:40:02]: Right.

Nicole [00:40:03]: They never take a look and they're like, why am I attracting this sort of man? Why do I want to be in these sort of relationships? And the second that they do and they really kind of work on those things, a lot of times they'll break out of that cycle. But until then, they're dating the same type of man, just in a different form.

John [00:40:20]: Yeah, yeah.

Nicole [00:40:21]: And then they're like, why is this happening? And it's like, you have some things that you have to deal with. And it's the same thing with men. They're like, these women all suck. You probably are attracting women that are the same emotional mess as you.

John [00:40:33]: Right.

Nicole [00:40:33]: And there's really not much you can do. Because again, you have to work on yourself first.

John [00:40:38]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, It's. And that's why, like I said, it just comes down to pride. Because if I, if I, if someone tells me there's some flaw in my work, right, there's something that I'm doing wrong and I'm prideful, then I, I fix it. Like, I, like I'm embarrassed by, like, oh, shit. Like, I don't want someone to see that I'm doing something. You know, if I don't have any pride in myself, then I just defend it. Then I'm just like, it's not me, it's you. Right?

Nicole [00:41:09]: It's like, you know, it's your eyes, not my work.

John [00:41:12]: Right? Yeah. So that's the thing is like it comes from that same place. It's like having that. And it's like, it's weird because, you know, pride is considered to be a bad thing, but it's like, it's more of the pride in the form of dignity. It's like I have such a high respect for myself and high standards for myself that I couldn't imagine a woman paying for a meal for me because I have that amount of standard and respect for myself. You know, I think I'm that capable. You know what I mean? That's. That's where it comes from. So that's. And the second part of it is the other biggest problem with men today, with a lot of men today, is that they can't handle adversity, right? Because adversity is so important for a man in order to become a man, it shapes him, right? Just like a sword is put into the. The iron is put into the fire, you know, and hammered on in order to sharpen that blade. That is the same as building the masculinity in a man. And so many men today, whether it's because they've been coddled by their mothers or I don't know what the causes are. Maybe it's just because we're living, you know, there's that whole. Hard times create. Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times, great. Weak men. So we're in the weak men cycle, unfortunately, because there's been too much good times, it's been too easy. You know, how long ago did we have a major war? World War II and, you know, where men had to learn how to be men and you know, at 14 years.

Nicole [00:42:52]: Old, wait for a war to do it. You just have to have the self discipline.

John [00:42:56]: But you need adversity, right? And you need to be able to face adversity. Right? And it's like so many men, when they're presented with a challenge, right. They back down. And that's also why the whole passport bros thing is like, okay, so it's harder to date Western women. There's some challenges there. So you're backing away from the challenge to go somewhere where it's easier. That lacks pride. Right. And it's like going to the video game and going, you know, it's on normal mode, and instead of going to insane mode, you're like, easy mode. You switch the difficulty to easy because you can't beat on normal mode. Right? It's like, no, I'm saying, hey. You're like, no, I can take insane mode. That's what you should be as a man. But so many men today are afraid of adversity they just can't handle. They can't face it, they can't overcome. And they're doing themselves a huge disservice by finding the ease. And it's the same thing. We have pornography easily accessible. Right. That's. Again, they're not facing the adversity of going out there if they want to get laid and having to actually go and talk to women and actually figure out some game and learn how to, you know, they could just get it right there. You know, it's like. Or prostitutes. We talked about this on the episode before, too. It's like, there's so many things that make it so easy, and they're not really learning anything. Right?

Nicole [00:44:22]: Yeah. And I think it, too, comes from them being in this emotional state. Right. Like, because if you look at masculine women, which they're probably gonna get upset about.

John [00:44:32]: Right.

Nicole [00:44:34]: You know, they're oftentimes not as emotional and they're getting stuff done, and they're becoming, you know, entrepreneurs and CEOs and things like that now because they're in a more masculine place. And it's almost to a point where women have more pride than these men do.

John [00:44:54]: Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Nicole [00:44:55]: And that's also why, if a woman has all this pride, do you think she's really going to be with a man who doesn't?

John [00:45:01]: No.

Nicole [00:45:02]: Unless she's okay with being, you know, the one in charge.

John [00:45:06]: Right.

Nicole [00:45:06]: Then, you know, maybe she'll be with a man like that. But to be honest, even really prideful women don't want a man that has no pride in himself. They want a man who has pride as much as she does.

John [00:45:19]: Yeah, yeah, exactly. So it's. It's. That's and that's why it has to be this way, right? Because guys are constantly like, well, why don't women fix it? Why don't women? You know, and again, which there are.

Nicole [00:45:31]: Things that women need to fix, right?

John [00:45:33]: And I agree with the things. You know, like I said, I know all the things. I don't talk about them on this podcast because there's no need to, like, to disparage women and say all this stuff. You know, we talk about some of the things, but it's not. I don't need to go and tell you that, you know, Prostituting yourself on OnlyFans is bad or, like, sleeping with lots of men. It's like, yeah, we talk about that stuff when it comes up. But I don't need to just keep on harping on that because that doesn't matter. What matters is that men step up and take responsibility and take charge because they have the ability to change these things, or at least in their own life. You know what I mean? But they lack the pride to do it. That's the thing.

Nicole [00:46:18]: And here's the real reason in my mind. So even if a ton of women became super feminine and everything that the man these men want, Right, Right. These men still haven't healed. They will ruin that relationship. It will not make him be the man that he needs to be, because at the end of the day, he has to take accountability and he has to gain the pride and whatnot. So even if women became what these men want, right, they're still not men. They're not really masculine in the state that they are right now. And you cannot tell me that these men, if they found a woman like that who was like, yeah, I like you, they wouldn't just jump in and marry them and go ahead, right? And so they're not actually bettering themselves in any way. But on the flip side, if these men become more manly and more masculine, right, they could flip. They could find more feminine men or women that they want, and they can flip more masculine women to be more feminine because they will trust this man. So that's why a lot of times we stress that men do typically need to go first in this sort of healing process. Because they have more influence.

John [00:47:31]: Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

Nicole [00:47:33]: That's because women do not. Because even if a woman is exactly what you want, you haven't become more of a man. It's just the easy mode. Like you said, you just found somebody that wants to be with you, but now you still have all these issues, and that will still bleed over into your Relationship, even though it might not be the same sort of issues you might have with a more masculine woman, but if you become the man and you become more masculine now, you will be able to get more feminine women who are just naturally more feminine, and you might be able to get these women who are more masculine to become more feminine.

John [00:48:07]: Right.

Nicole [00:48:08]: And so you have more options.

John [00:48:10]: Exactly. And it's like a lot of guys are saying they want a feminine woman. Right. And what does that really mean when they're saying that is they want a woman that will submit to them. Okay. Again, I don't have a problem with that. I think that's actually a good thing. If a woman willingly submits to a man because she trusts him. Right. I think that's a beautiful thing, and that's great. Okay. However, what does that mean? If a woman submits to you as a man, that means that you're leading. You want to be the leader. So how are you going to put it on women to initiate the change?

Nicole [00:48:44]: You need the change.

John [00:48:45]: That's what I'm saying. That's. I mean, it's just logic. It's not that I'm trying to bash men. It's just like, look, the responsibility. You want to be the leader. That's what you say you're looking for, is to be a leader in a relationship. You want a woman to submit to you, but then when I put it on, you, put everything on you. You say you blame men all the time. It's always men's fault. Well, that's what the leader does, Right? It's like we were talking about this before, too. It's like in the military, they say gripes go up, they don't go down. Right. It means that you gripe up to your superior officer. They don't gripe down. If you're a superior officer and you're griping down, you're gonna lose so much respect because the buck stops here. Right? That's another saying. It's like, I got it. I have the responsibility. Right. Because I'm the leader. If you want to be in charge, if you want to be. You want a woman to look up to you. If you want to be the authority, then you have to say, the buck stops here. That whatever happens, I'm responsible for this crew. I'm responsible for this ship. We talked about the captain of the ship. It's all the same thing, is that you have to take responsibility. And so if I then say, hey, men, you need to man up, you know, I'm going to give it to you and say it is all your fault because you're the one who's responsible. It doesn't matter whose fault is. You're the one who's responsible because you want the responsibility, then you have to take it if that's what. Because how could that even work? How could you be the leader in a relationship, have a woman that submits to you, but then you're not wanting to take responsibility and lead? It's so funny because so, so many people complain about having responsibility without authority, right? They're like, well, if I have all the responsibility, then I need to have the authority to make decisions. But then what about the flip? You want the authority, but you don't want the responsibility, right?

Nicole [00:50:38]: They want their cake and eat it too is essentially because it's coming from a place of very selfish behavior. Really, at the end of the day, they want. And that's the same thing with like the 50 50, right? Like the guys who want 50 50, but they want to be the authority. Like in what way does that make sense? It's just you manipulating the situation so you get all the benefit and then the person you're with doesn't get any benefit. Whereas if you're a man and you take the responsibility, even if you're trying to resist, that you will get the benefit even though you don't realize that you will. Like, the benefit is you have pride in yourself and that you're taking care of the people in your life that you care about.

John [00:51:22]: Right? Yeah, exactly. They don't understand because it's pride, because it's not something that you can logically understand. You just have to say, I have pride. That's why I do it.

Nicole [00:51:33]: But I feel like pride is logical in my opinion.

John [00:51:35]: It's like I'm willing to take the short end of the stick of the deal because I'm prideful. Like, go ahead, handicap my position. When we play the game, I'll still win. Because you see, I'm saying that's what is when you're like, oh, it's not fair, that's it just lacks pride.

Nicole [00:51:52]: Life isn't fair.

John [00:51:53]: Like that's, that's what I'm saying is like it's an intangible thing to you have it or you don't have it. You have to have this sense of pride, of having that high self worth as a man which is by the way, very attractive to women as well, right? Because women want a man that has that sense of self worth, that has that high value of himself. How is she going to value and esteem you when you don't even value yourself that highly? You talk like you do, you talk like you do, but you don't really.

Nicole [00:52:21]: Back it up, right?

John [00:52:23]: Because if you're coming from a place of scarcity, even if we talk about the money thing with paying 50, if you're like, I'm worried someone's going to take advantage of me, or it's not fair. It's like you're coming from a place of scar. If you're like, I have plenty of money and I can make more money and I don't care about spending $50 on a date, Even if a woman just wants to take advantage, who cares? That's prideful. You see what I'm saying? That's having a high esteem for yourself. That's coming from a place of abundance instead of who wants to be with a man. That's from a place of scarcity. That person can't lead you. They're afraid for their own self. They don't even think they can take care of themselves. They're afraid they're not gonna have enough money if they pay for some date or they're gonna get used to. So then how do you then, you know, have confidence in them and look up to them? You see what I'm saying? You have to be the kind of person that a woman would look up, that anyone would look up to.

Nicole [00:53:19]: I think men have a hard time, though, with confidence and arrogance. Because I hear what you're saying and you're talking about confidence. But I know men often hear that and they're like, okay, I got it. And then they go to arrogance.

John [00:53:34]: Well, I got a simple definition between the two, right?

Nicole [00:53:37]: Okay.

John [00:53:38]: So confidence is what you know about yourself. Arrogance is what you want other people to believe about yourself, right?

Nicole [00:53:46]: You're projecting about yourself, right?

John [00:53:47]: So if I'm confident, you know, it's like Muhammad Ali, right? The boxer, right? He used to say, I'm the greatest, I'm the best, right? He was not arrogant when he said that. People believed it because he really believed that and he really was the best. He wasn't coming from a place of he didn't believe it himself. He believed he was the best. And when he said it, it wasn't arrogance. And people didn't really take it as arrogance, okay? But if you say it because you want other people to believe it and you don't believe it yourself, they can.

Nicole [00:54:17]: Tell it's arrogance no matter what.

John [00:54:18]: Then it's arrogance because it's false. Cause it's like, I need you. I'm telling you the thing I want to believe about myself.

Nicole [00:54:26]: I want you to say it back to me so then I believe it.

John [00:54:28]: Right? That's what arrogance is.

Nicole [00:54:30]: Right. Well, I just wanted you to mention.

John [00:54:32]: That the confidence doesn't have to prove anything.

Nicole [00:54:34]: Right. And that's where it has to come from. The pride too. Right. The pride has to come from confidence, not arrogance. It's not a fake it till you make it thing. It's like knowing that you've done hard stuff in your life. Because even these guys who are complaining, I know that they've been through slash done hard things in their life and they've survived it and they've come out on the other side and they have to harness that and turn it into the pride that you're talking about.

John [00:55:01]: Yeah. Believe me, the reason why I'm so hard on men is because I love them and I want to help them and I believe in them. Otherwise I would just give up on them. You know what I mean? I would just say, sure, okay, whatever, yeah, women suck. Okay, yeah, yeah, go to whatever country. But that's not what I'm doing. Right. There's no benefit for me in preaching a message of you guys got to do better and fucking sack up and be a man. Because no one wants to hear that message. It doesn't make me money. It doesn't make me popular. Right. It's like. But it's the truth, right? Right. It's not. And I'm not trying to cater. I don't. Why am I trying to cater to women? So women will like me. Absolutely ridiculous. Like, I don't need to. I have the best woman in the world. I already won the prize. What else do I need to get? I already got it. You know what I'm saying? So my motive is because I actually love men. I want to see them succeed. Because, and here's what it also is. I was one of them. I didn't have pride, okay? I didn't have enough self respect for myself. I, I wasn't able to. I didn't understand the, the, the social intelligence and, and how to interact with women properly. And I felt I didn't have an internal sense of validation. And I, you know, all of these things, I was that guy, you know.

Nicole [00:56:24]: Maybe not as me, but that's how you know it can be done too. And that's why you're so passionate about it, is because you've been there and you've made the changes and so it is possible yeah, yeah, so I get that.

John [00:56:39]: But.

Nicole [00:56:39]: And when we talk about this a lot, too, we talk. I mentioned to you that men don't realize that their mindset is something that they can change. And they can change it now. Like, yeah, it might take you a while to change your physical, you know, physique or things like that, but your mindset, you can change. And you can work to change now if you decide to, but it won't change unless you decide to. And a lot of people, not just men, women as well, too, and people in general view bettering themselves as work. And the second that you view it as work rather than a way to make your life more peaceful and better and make you happier, you're not going to want to do it. And you'll stay in the state that you're in if you view it as something that's going to help you, help you get the things that you want in life. Yeah, you're more likely to go after that and start doing the work on your mindset and healing things in your life and issues you're facing with, rather than just staying in the same old loop of. Of doing the same thing over. There was a comment on one of the videos. I forget what it was specifically, but I should have, like, screenshotted it.

John [00:57:56]: I'll probably remember it.

Nicole [00:57:57]: But what I replied back was, isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result? Yeah, that's what these men are doing.

John [00:58:08]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:58:08]: They're literally doing the same things over and over again and expecting a different result, and it's not gonna happen. And what's the one thing that you can do? Change the things that you have control over?

John [00:58:21]: Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, I don't know. It's. It's tough and I don't know, the message doesn't seem. But it's also, you know, there's. To give credit, there are some people that listen to us, that watch us that are not the, you know, it's. It's almost like, you know, when. When your sibling does something bad and then you get punished for it.

Nicole [00:58:44]: Oh, my God. I am used to that.

John [00:58:46]: I realize we're punishing some of the guys that, you know, their siblings. It's like, because there's a minority, you know, of people that. Of guys that comment ridiculous stuff because we, you know, we have, you know, maybe, you know, get 100,000 views on a.

Nicole [00:58:58]: But they're the guys who are going to watch this and know that it's not about them.

John [00:59:01]: Right.

Nicole [00:59:02]: Just like you said, like, they can watch something and be like, okay, this isn't. This doesn't pertain to me. You know, they have that awareness, that maturity where they can watch something like this and not feel like we're attacking them because it's not about them and they understand it. And they might not comment, but they're sitting here watching this and they're like, yeah, I did that. Like, that's how I'm here. That's how I'm the man I am now. Because I did what they're talking about.

John [00:59:28]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:59:29]: And I made the change. And even if they don't comment and be like, yeah, I agree. You know, like, they're watching it and they're like, okay, they're talking to the guys who are still struggling, not the people who have done the work.

John [00:59:40]: There's too many yes men out there that are giving guys the message that they want to hear.

Nicole [00:59:46]: Right. I mean, well, you can't trust. I mean, here we are on social media, but you can't trust a lot of the media today. You were even telling me that a lot of the tiktoks and things you see with, like, interviewers, they're not random people.

John [00:59:59]: Yeah.

Nicole [01:00:00]: They know the people. They're like. They're skits. They're all this stuff. And so we're trying to be the last real thing out there.

John [01:00:08]: Yeah.

Nicole [01:00:08]: And people still might think that we're not, but we'll continue to show people that we are.

John [01:00:13]: Yeah.

Nicole [01:00:14]: Out here being real, we literally make.

John [01:00:16]: Zero money from this podcast, and we put thousands of dollars into it every day.

Nicole [01:00:19]: And we, like. We like to try to help people. And, you know, even if we don't hear from those people in the comments, people benefit from what we have to say. And if they don't, maybe they'll watch it years from now and realize, oh, they were telling us this the whole time. We weren't listening to them.

John [01:00:37]: But, yeah. I don't know where you get a sense of pride as a man. I think it just comes from you just have to want better things for yourself and think you deserve better things and to truly believe it. And that's where the pride comes from, because that's the thing, like I said, that's missing. And so for the guys out there that can, you know, realize you might have a lack of pride, you gotta just want better for yourself. You gotta believe better of yourself, expecting yourself good things. Yeah.

Nicole [01:01:12]: And you'll get those things.

John [01:01:13]: Yeah.

Nicole [01:01:14]: If you start.

John [01:01:14]: Stop being a sexist and start being A chauvinist. A little bit. Careful. Well, you.

Nicole [01:01:20]: You understand the balance.

John [01:01:22]: Yeah, no, I know, but I joke about it. But. But what I mean is that, like, think so good of yourself as being a man. Not that you have to tell everyone else, but that you internalize that. And you're like, I'm not gonna let a woman beat me. You know what I mean? Like, that should be going through your head. It's like, I'm not gonna. You know, I'm a man. I'm gonna prove myself. I'm gonna do what I don't need to tell her and complain about her and whine about her. Cause that's actually beneath me as well. You see what I'm saying? It's like, I think they have to.

Nicole [01:01:50]: Get rid of the victim mindset first, because I can definitely see men not working on themselves and then doing what you're saying, and it's not gonna work.

John [01:01:59]: Well, again, that's arrogance. Right. Because confidence is knowing. Right.

Nicole [01:02:03]: Well, that's why I asked about the difference, because. Yeah, but you can't have the confidence genuinely unless you've worked on yourself and got rid of that victim mindset. Otherwise, these. That's just gonna perpetuate angry men. If in their mind, they're just like, okay, I can fix it by just being like, you're stupid woman. And I'm just not gonna respond. You know, like, they're still not healing themselves if they just throw that on top. And like you said, it is the arrogance. At that point, they need to come healed, not in the victim mindset. And then have that sort of mindset about themselves.

John [01:02:38]: Yeah, yeah. Because it's like, you have to believe it. You have to prove it to yourself. Right, Right. That's.

Nicole [01:02:43]: It has to be a truth. And you have to prove. You have to actually do things to have the proof in what you're saying.

John [01:02:51]: Yeah. And that's where the true confidence comes from.

Nicole [01:02:53]: That's true.

John [01:02:55]: Yeah. So, yeah, I think that basically sums it up. So you got.

Nicole [01:03:03]: Oh, our topic of what we went through this week. Well, we didn't have any drama for you guys. I'm sorry, but our daughter is out of school for the summer. And so before she came over for our week with us, we were talking about, you know, let's make, like, a summer schedule. And when I was making it, I was like, maybe she should pick, like, what time we do the things and, like, what day. But then you were like, no, let's give it some structure. And we did that too, because we've realized that our daughter thrives off of structure. And I think a few episodes ago, you mentioned this in the car, and I was like, that's such a good idea. And it. Granted, this is the first, like, week that we've done it, but it has been really good for her. And I've recommended it, too, to other people that I know that have kids that I know. And I think it's just been really beneficial for her to the point where, you know, we have a few park slash pool days, basically days where we have to be outside for two hours. And then she likes to do crafts. So we do two craft days. Yesterday we did learn a new skill day, which that was good for her especially. Cause she's a teenager, you know, so that can be things that she's learning to cook things on her own. And, you know, it can be whatever, really, that she wants to learn the new skill of. But she's actually taken initiative to learn some things that will benefit her when, you know, she's older. And then the weekend is like our family day. So that's stuff that we all decide together. But when we went to the park, one of the days when we were driving back, she's like, I feel so much better after I've been outside. And I'm like, you know, like, that's what is supposed to be fun. And then today we did crafts, actually, before the podcast. And she's like, I've been so happy this week. And I can't say it's all because of the schedule, but, you know, especially if you have kids in this day and age, they're so attached to the screens that could be their phone, the computer, tv, whatever it is. And even taking two hours out of their day to do something that gets them away from that.

John [01:05:07]: Yeah.

Nicole [01:05:07]: Can really benefit them, even as an adult. Yeah, true.

John [01:05:11]: I mean, I'm from depression.

Nicole [01:05:13]: Yeah.

John [01:05:14]: It might be because you're glued to your screen all the time and that's. You need to go and you need.

Nicole [01:05:18]: To make a summer schedule for yourself.

John [01:05:20]: It's true. Because.

Nicole [01:05:21]: Yeah, yeah, no, you're definitely right. And so, you know, that was a. That's been a really good sort of thing we've implemented so far. And we didn't necessarily have that last year. You know, we kind of just had a very relaxed summer schedule. And this, again, is not super regimented because it's only two hours of doing whatever that day is. So it's still not a ton of time, but it's enough to keep her away from the screens. So that she's getting that hands on activity of whatever we're doing. And yeah, it's been really beneficial. So if you're watching this and she.

John [01:05:57]: Also has a reward of some accomplishments, she's doing it right. Creating a thing, learning a thing is like, again, a lot of people would be served by instead of as much as we enjoy the engagement, you know, you might be so angry because you haven't done anything. Like go and do something.

Nicole [01:06:15]: You can listen to the podcast while you're doing a craft or something that you want to do. So you can, you know, do both. But yeah, it's the accomplishing things that it really makes you feel good to do as a person and it gives.

John [01:06:27]: You pride in yourself.

Nicole [01:06:28]: It gives you pride because you're like, I did a thing, I accomplished. Yeah, right.

John [01:06:32]: If you're just scrolling and all you do is just whine, you don't, you don't feel good about yourself because you haven't done anything. You go out and do things well.

Nicole [01:06:40]: And it's such a low vibrational sort of thing to just whine. And even, you know, playing a game, you can win it and that might give you some sort of accomplishment. But there's something about like making something with your hands or coming up with a idea that you bring to life in real life rather than just sitting in one spot, you know, and being outside. I mean, tons of people will tell you that just going outside for a walk if you're feeling down will make you feel better and put you in a better mood and you'll get the vitamins from the sun. It's just, it's, it's proven that it'll make you feel better.

John [01:07:19]: That vitamin D. That's right.

Nicole [01:07:23]: But yeah, so if you have kids or if you don't and you just want to give yourself some more things to do to make you feel better, create like a little schedule. And it doesn't have to be just summer. It can be seasonal or however you want. But it's definitely been benefiting our daughter so far. So.

John [01:07:40]: All right, well, good. Well, yeah, so hopefully we won't have more drama. Yeah. Leave us a review on itunes.

Nicole [01:07:50]: Yeah, yeah.

John [01:07:52]: I mean, if you want to give a one star review because you're so angry about it, go ahead.

Nicole [01:07:56]: But no, don't, don't do that. Be a, be a bigger person. Just scroll, just scroll.

John [01:08:02]: But if you agree with what we're saying and you think that, you know, may need to, yeah. Show a little love, man up a little bit, then. Yeah, then Support it. Support the message. Let us know that you're out there.

Nicole [01:08:14]: Message.

John [01:08:15]: All right, well, that's it for this week. Through every fault, we find our way.