John [00:00:00]: But women watching our show, you know, they can say, oh, no, hey, when I go on a date, like the guy, like, I need to have some standards, like he needs to take care of me, he needs to pay for things. You know, how many times have I gotten by as a guy? We go out for a couple of drinks.

Sabrina [00:00:15]: Yeah. That's how we know it's like on.

John [00:00:18]: Our first day, like not letting a guy get away with that because you know what he's thinking when he's like, I'm like, okay, minimum investment in order to get laid.

Sabrina [00:00:27]: Yeah, but I knew you weren't getting laid, so I was like, all right.

John [00:00:30]: Yeah, it's on nipple note. But.

Sabrina [00:00:33]: That'S all you get.

John [00:00:34]: Beyond the perfect we discover through our flaws we complete each other. Better than perfect we stay through every.

Nicole [00:00:46]: Fault we find our way.

John [00:00:51]: All right, welcome back to the better than perfect podcast where every week we share with you how two imperfect people helping each other grow equals one better than perfect relationship. And today we have some special guests.

Sabrina [00:01:03]: In the first guest.

John [00:01:04]: Yes, our first guest, John and Sabrina Broderick. And they're friends of ours that we talked about their infamous week long wedding.

Sabrina [00:01:15]: With the community and they made us the little jumpsuits that we wore. Yeah, we wore them on the podcast. Two more imperfect people that helping each.

Nicole [00:01:25]: Other grow, trying to be perfect for each other. Yay.

Sabrina [00:01:28]: And that's why you guys make perfect first guests for the podcast.

Unknown_D [00:01:31]: Yay. It's so much fun to be your guys first guest.

John [00:01:35]: Super excited it's happening. But yeah, I mean, I guess we start off with our little small talk about what's going on. What. Anything interesting you guys have encountered in. I don't know.

Nicole [00:01:49]: Oh, yeah, like, I mean, we just got married, so that's.

John [00:01:51]: Yeah, that's. That's pretty interesting.

Nicole [00:01:53]: Or like pretty epic, honestly.

Sabrina [00:01:55]: Yeah, no, your wedding was insanely epic.

John [00:01:58]: That's.

Nicole [00:01:58]: Yeah, it was basically like a week long festival with our friends and it.

Sabrina [00:02:02]: Was just so beautiful and like spiritual and it was beautiful to hear.

Unknown_D [00:02:07]: Like one to experience, obviously. Two. Like how many people felt like recommitted in their relationships or like not recommitted but like rejoined in their relationships?

Nicole [00:02:18]: Yeah, yeah. I think she was just like such full of love energy that we had a bunch of people that inspired. Yeah, it felt like it, it felt like there was a lot of like inspiration around connection and love. Yeah, well, you were super grateful for.

Sabrina [00:02:31]: It inspired 26, 25 people to get a tattoo. Yeah. So I would say it was very inspiring. Yeah, for sure.

Nicole [00:02:43]: Yeah. Yeah. So that's. That's been the big excitement. I mean.

John [00:02:47]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:02:47]: Freshly married. You know, I think just saying wife is an awesome feeling.

Unknown_D [00:02:53]: I love saying husband. Like, posting on Instagram, like, I got my husband this, and then having my best friend respond, husband. Like, he's my husband.

Nicole [00:03:03]: Yeah. So it's all fresh and new and really exciting.

Unknown_D [00:03:05]: Yeah.

Sabrina [00:03:06]: Does it feel any different?

Unknown_D [00:03:07]: It does, I think, like, just the difference from fiance to husband. It solidifies it. Yeah. Like, it's official, Right. And we actually made it Facebook official.

John [00:03:18]: Oh, yeah.

Sabrina [00:03:20]: Wait, did I do that?

John [00:03:21]: I'm pretty sure, yeah.

Nicole [00:03:24]: I just had on Facebook for the weeks, and she's like, oh, it's. It's official on Facebook, but it's not yet until you accept it on Facebook.

Sabrina [00:03:33]: Now you got me thinking. I'm like, did I make ours official?

John [00:03:36]: Yeah, Otherwise, you. You. I can tell because otherwise guys would be hitting you up on. On Facebook.

Sabrina [00:03:40]: Oh, you think so? I mean, I changed my name on there. I know that.

Unknown_D [00:03:44]: But yeah, I did all the name changes on, like, Facebook, Instagram. I. We have to pick up ours.

Nicole [00:03:51]: We'll have to do the legal one. But I think that. That we got pass. You know, changing passports, all that's a little too much time on that.

Unknown_D [00:03:58]: Like, socially, my name is now Sabrina Broderick.

John [00:04:02]: Yeah.

Unknown_D [00:04:04]: In the book that we're book clubbing right now, like, one of the quotes, it said Sabrina B. Yeah. Did you notice that?

Sabrina [00:04:11]: It's like a synchronicity.

Unknown_D [00:04:12]: Yeah, it was.

Sabrina [00:04:13]: But, yeah, I mean, the changing your name process, too, is long, but it's not actually as bad as you think it is. Like. Yeah, I feel like the passport part is, like, the most.

Nicole [00:04:24]: We just have upcoming travels, so we're like, all right. Those done?

Sabrina [00:04:28]: Yeah.

John [00:04:28]: Yeah. We had a weird thing with booking the airline tickets in one name. And then when you change the airline ticket, you have to show the new passport and send them that.

Nicole [00:04:36]: Yeah.

Unknown_D [00:04:37]: I'm just going to come with, like, a.

John [00:04:39]: Like, all the files.

Unknown_D [00:04:40]: Files are running.

Nicole [00:04:41]: What do you mean?

John [00:04:42]: All the aliases we have all the things.

Sabrina [00:04:44]: Is it weird, like, hearing your new last name or, like, writing it?

Unknown_D [00:04:48]: I love it. It's so cute. It's Sabrina B. I feel like Sabrina Broderick.

Sabrina [00:04:53]: It's hard. Sometimes we'll go to, like, Chick Fil A or something, and they'll be like, nicole S. And I'm like, that's not me. Yeah, Nicole H. And I'm like, oh, wait, no, I am Nicole.

Nicole [00:05:00]: Oh. She was, like, practicing her signature for.

Sabrina [00:05:02]: Oh, so you Were like, all right.

Unknown_D [00:05:03]: I didn't even know your maiden name.

Sabrina [00:05:06]: Hazelwood.

Unknown_D [00:05:08]: Hazelwood.

Sabrina [00:05:08]: Yeah. I made it my middle name, actually, because I was like, my middle name was Marie. I'm like, everybody has a middle name that's either Nicole or Marie or Ann or something. So I was like, I could keep my old last name as my middle name, but it's a long middle name.

John [00:05:23]: But yeah, it's pretty, though.

Sabrina [00:05:26]: I mean, yeah, it's like.

Unknown_D [00:05:27]: Well, I was the only Sabrina Sagat actually, like, if you, if you Google me ever, ever.

Nicole [00:05:32]: She was like the only one that would come up on a Google search.

Unknown_D [00:05:34]: So like. But even letting that go, I was. It just, it feels good. It's like we're the Brodericks.

Sabrina [00:05:40]: Yeah. It makes you like, solid.

Unknown_D [00:05:42]: No? Yeah. It's so cute. And then when we came home from our wedding, our friends Dane and Lauren put on a. On a piece of just like white paper, paper towel. I saw it. Welcome home, Mr. And Mrs. Broderick. And then just taped it to our kitchen.

Sabrina [00:05:59]: It's still a cute. I saw it when we were at your house.

Unknown_D [00:06:02]: It's probably going to stay up until we move.

Sabrina [00:06:04]: You should frame it.

Unknown_D [00:06:05]: Yeah, we love it. Yeah, it's a good idea.

John [00:06:09]: All right, well, I guess let's get into the episode. The topic for today that we talked about is modern traditional relationships. So basically the polarity dynamics between masculine and feminine and how that has changed for us and you know, embracing kind of the.

Nicole [00:06:27]: Yeah, yeah. And I think that that's something that a lot of modern society kind of skews people away from these days is the idea of like a man providing for a woman and a woman taking a more, you know, feminine role. I mean, we're seeing a lot of this, like modern day feminism push away from that. But I guess it's maybe not for everyone but for us, the idea of, you know, me taking on the masculine role, her relaxing into her feminine, me providing her being the heart of the home. I think, you know, just for us specifically, and I can't speak for everyone, but it works really well, so.

Unknown_D [00:07:05]: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, like, even when we first started dating like years, years ago, before we were like boyfriend, girlfriend, it was like you were looking for someone that was more so like CEO, like, can keep up with you.

John [00:07:19]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:07:20]: I thought I wanted, like someone that was going to be more professionally driven and I think that that was kind of driven into me through my upbringing is like, you know, a lot of the media and everything today know points at these, like, Strong, powerful women that are like crushing their careers. And I thought that that's what I wanted. And then through all these other relationships, I would date these types of girls and within, you know, a couple months there'd be like this clashing.

Sabrina [00:07:45]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:07:46]: And I think that's just like we're both living in our masculine. We're both bringing home the stress of work, you know, and then all of a sudden you have basically like two dudes in a house. At the end of the day, this is like really being the man myself and allowing my woman to be like a soft, beautiful, feminine woman.

John [00:08:04]: Yeah, yeah. We talk about all the time about how it's like guys try to turn their woman into a bro and they don't realize it's. But it's because as a man you think, all right, all this stuff that I'm doing for my goals and my self improvement as a man, now let me help my woman do this. Obviously she wants to wake up at 5am Go, you know, bust ass and hit the gym. Did you write down your goals? And it's like, you know, our trainer and, and because that's what you would do for a dude that you're, that you care about. You would help him out. But it's like you're, you're, it's, it's well meant, but you're turning a woman into a man. And because a woman has, the feminine has a different drive and it's not about, yeah. Breaking through barriers and accomplishing goals and getting stuff done. Although a woman can obviously do those things. But yeah, I think that's, that's, that's the thing is like we mean well, A lot of guys mean well and do that, but they don't realize they're shooting themselves in a, in the foot.

Sabrina [00:09:02]: Well, I think too it's a lot of people being afraid. Right. Like we're taught as women, you know, have your own money or even when you get with a man, like have a stash in case he leaves you or like as a man you're like, get another woman who's, you know, providing. So it's not all on you. I feel like it's very like fear mindset that is being perpetuated. And the only way personally that I think that both men and women can invest 100% in a relationship is a traditional relationship. Because as a man, you're investing the thing that scares you the most, which is financially a lot of the time. And then women, we're investing like staying home and not having a job. And you know, like, our prime years are spent with one person and we're starting a family. And so like that. And we're not having a backup account of money stashed away because we'll just run away if something happens. You know, it's like really investing. And that makes you work extra hard to make the relationship work and be what you want it to be, 100%.

Unknown_D [00:10:10]: And like to piggyback off, like what society does. It's like we've been almost like trained to think, like, don't trust each other, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, like, protect yourself, protect yourself. But it's like, where is the trust? And like, how can you bring it into one, into a sanctity of a marriage and of like, hey, I can handle this portion of our life and you can handle this portion. Because I think when you stop differentiating between, you know, this is your job, this is your job, it becomes one and you realize that you can't have one without the other. Right. Like a well run oiled machine, it needs the two, it needs the polarity.

John [00:10:57]: Exactly.

Unknown_D [00:10:59]: And we find that a lot, you know, in our home. It's just like, if everything's kept up clean, like, Reggie's taking care. Reggie's our dog. House is like, everything's cute and vibey and nice. Then he's like ready to, like, crush work calls. But like, let's say, you know, and you know, I still work from time to time every once in a while. Not really much often.

Sabrina [00:11:27]: So you're enjoying your feminine time too?

Unknown_D [00:11:29]: I am. I'm like fully been able to, like, in the last few months, I've been able to like, not have to work as much. And it's just created like a much better, like, safer household. And I feel like a little part of me has like held on to like wanting to work, but because that's like what society is like ingraining in me, you know, is like, I have to do this, I have to do that, and I don't have to do that. Like, you've got it.

Nicole [00:11:57]: Yeah, I got it. And that's the thing is when I get up in the morning and the place is dialed like that.

Unknown_D [00:12:04]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:12:04]: Kitchen's nice and clean. Everything feels nice. There's like a nice smelling candle lit.

John [00:12:08]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:12:08]: Whatever it is, like there's like this like soft.

Sabrina [00:12:13]: Right.

Nicole [00:12:14]: I don't have the distractions of all that and I can just dial in and go do my part.

Sabrina [00:12:18]: Yeah, you don't have to worry about cleaning it up or like. Yeah, it's just working, like doing.

Nicole [00:12:22]: It's not living in that part of your brain that's just like, oh, yeah, things have to get handled. Like, she's got that handled. And then, like, when I trust that, then I can just focus on going out and making money and just like providing for us. Yeah.

John [00:12:34]: I always think about it as. It's like a rocket ship, right? So you can have it where you've got two rockets and they're both going. And you're like, oh, well, it's double. Right. Because it's twice as much. We've got two rockets. But it's more powerful if you have one big rocket and then the man is the rocket and the woman is the fuel to that rocket. Because then that rocket's going so much further. And it's like, you know, just from what I discovered as a man is that, you know, if Nicole is there supporting me, I can do more. It's a synergistic effect, right? 1 and 1. We could do the outcome of two people, but with her supporting me, giving me the fuel that I need, the feminine energy, then my output might be 5x, which is so much better. And that's a better place to live. Plus, it's also more of our natural. As a man, I wanna go out and conquer things. As a woman, she's more enjoying the moment, the present moment, and that's not her. Her mode.

Unknown_D [00:13:31]: So it's funny that you said that because you just said that.

Nicole [00:13:34]: You know what's funny though? That came from John. Him and I were talking about it. We went on a hike some time ago and he said that to me and it stuck with me. And I think it's so true. Is that, like, for me to just crush it, I just need that fuel. And that fuel is like that love and that open heart and all these things that traditionally maybe aren't as natural to us.

Unknown_D [00:13:56]: It's all the attention to detail, which, like, yes, like, I think men have a better idea of, like, the grand big picture. And I'm very much better at, like, going steadfast that way. But women are the details, the intricacies within the home, within, like the relationship. Like children, dogs, like, all encompasses, you know, that's where we come in, like.

Nicole [00:14:20]: And just our power is just. I mean, it's like you said, it's like 5 or 10x when everything else is, you know, fueling us like that.

Sabrina [00:14:29]: Well, I feel like as women too, and I'm curious if you feel this way, that ever since John has kind of taken on the masculine responsibilities. And I don't have to worry about that. I've been more feminine, but I've also been able to, like, love deeper and express that to people better than when I had all the masculine responsibilities on me as well, too.

Nicole [00:14:52]: I'll speak to that. Like, if I'm not living in my masculine. If I'm not handling shit. Things at home. Get go ahri. Like, it just starts to, like, feel off.

Sabrina [00:15:02]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:15:03]: And, like, okay, if I. Sometimes I'm like, and what's going on here? You know, you're trying to, like, identify it. And if you turn that around and look inward, and I'm like, well, wait, how am I showing up right now?

Unknown_D [00:15:13]: Right.

Nicole [00:15:13]: Oh, man. I haven't, like, set the tone. I. I haven't been assertive about things. I'm like. Like, I'm not handling things like a man does. All right, Switch that. All of a sudden, I start, like, taking initiative and handling stuff. Everything else, our relationship just comes, like, right back into harmony.

Sabrina [00:15:30]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:15:30]: And I think that that's something that, like, a lot of men that I meet, they'll, you know, they'll have their things to say about their relationship and their wife. And it's like, well, yeah, they're, like, talking about everything that their. Their wife might be doing that's off. And it's like, well, how are you showing up? Because if you're showing up and you're not thinking about what she's doing, if you're just focused on what you're doing, you're. You're not gonna have to worry about what she's doing because it' it's all going to work well.

Sabrina [00:15:55]: Right.

Nicole [00:15:56]: I'm just like, don't worry about what she's doing. Let me just show up as hard as I can.

John [00:16:00]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:16:00]: In my role.

John [00:16:02]: Then I'm like, she.

Nicole [00:16:05]: And then she handles all her shit because I'm leading the way of like, hey, we're getting shit done. She starts getting shit done. But if. Yeah, if I'm just kind of like, oh, things aren't getting done, what's she doing over there? Then she's just sitting there like, well, I'm just chilling because he ain't doing shit.

John [00:16:19]: The woman is a flower. The flower has to bloom. You can't look at the flower and be like, why aren't you blooming? Like, you need to bloom, and then I'll water you. It has to be watered first. It has to get the nutrients in order to bloom. And if you're looking for it to bloom first, and criticizing the flower for not blooming. It's because you're the gardener.

Nicole [00:16:39]: That's fine, 100%.

Unknown_D [00:16:40]: And I've even used my environment in previous relationships. In comparison, I was like, I was never in an environment that I felt like I could truly feel my truest, highest self versus when I'm with you, like, you have truly given me the opportunity and the environment to, like, bloom into my, like, femininity. And it's so empowering to be able to feel creative, loved, like, happy, joyful, like, have these woman connections that, like, I didn't have in the past. Right. And, like, my brain is sparking on so many different, like, things, I guess I don't know that you didn't, like.

Sabrina [00:17:21]: Notice before because you weren't in that, like, super feminine space. Because that's how I felt too. I'm like, I had, you know, good connections, but, you know, I didn't have, like, really feminine women that had men that were taking care of stuff. And I didn't know how that changes you until I became that. But I love that you guys, our first guest too, because we sit here and we talk about a lot of this stuff, and I'm sure a lot of people are like, yeah, right. Like, they don't believe it. But you guys being here, like, you're also a testament to what we talk about all the time. And you both were in.

Nicole [00:17:57]: And I can, I can speak to the fact that this isn't, like, this isn't something that I've had dialed for my whole life. Like, I. Well, that's what makes it so profound, living like this. Right? Like, I was living with, you know, the societal, you know, be careful with women. They, you know, watch out for gold diggers. Like, you know, these girls are just, you know, and so, like, society kind of pressed this. You know, don't. Don't do this.

Sabrina [00:18:22]: Don't, like, don't trust women.

Nicole [00:18:24]: Yeah, don't trust women. You know, you want someone who's going to contribute 50, 50, all this. And so, like, I was accepting that as, like, maybe that's the way things should be. And then as soon as I myself made that shift and was like, no, you know what? Like, let's, let's try to show up in this, like, kind of new way of, like, let me just be the masculine male. Let me handle. And then I got to see the changes, like, even with her, like, yeah, for a lot of the time we were dating, we weren't. We weren't in this style.

Sabrina [00:18:56]: Polarity.

Unknown_D [00:18:57]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:18:57]: We didn't have the polarity. And we would be at each other's necks about different things. She was out. She was living in her masculine a lot more than she should have been. Or that would make. That emasculates me. Makes me act like kind of a bitch, you know, being a bitch.

John [00:19:11]: Yeah.

Unknown_D [00:19:11]: And so it was like, kind of like we would, like, teeter, totter, and tiptoe around things because, you know, in the beginning of our relationship, we weren't really, like, fully open and honest about, like. And I mean, me personally, I wasn't, like, confident enough to be like, I want xyz, right? And you had, like, this perception of, like, well, I don't want a gold digger. And I was like, well. And internally, I was like, I just want a man that takes care of me, you know? Like, I really, really yearn for that. But then I don't want him to think that I'm being a gold digger and taking advantage of him. And it's like this weird, like, eh. And he's like, yeah, like, I don't want to feel, like, taken advantage of. But, like, anyways, once we broke through that, and, I mean, it takes some time. And that's why it's great that we're talking about this, because it should be an open, honest conversation with your partner of, like, what you expect from each other. But, yeah, now that it's just, like, fully laid out on the table, that, like, I love you full, wholeheartedly, and I want to be able to fulfill, like, my role as a woman within the home. Like, creating the warmth, the creativity. Like, you know, in the next few years, having kids with you, like, taking care of Reg, taking care of you, like, all of that just gives me, like, the best ooey gooey feelings. And seeing you, like, strive to be the strongest man, it's amazing. But it's changed everything with our relationship. But I felt weird, like, being like, can you take care of me? Can you pay for all the groceries and, like, pay for the mortgage? And then, like, and when we weren't, like, before the transition, like, I would keep trying to work and, like, to like, okay, I'll cover these bills, and I'll cover these bills.

Nicole [00:21:00]: But then she's, like, making way less money and she's stressed out all the time, and I'm like, wait, what are we doing here? Yeah.

Sabrina [00:21:06]: Cause you can't really, like, ask for it, right? You can't really ask, like, hey, can you pay the bills? Like, a guy has to bring.

Nicole [00:21:12]: I guess a guy has to bring It.

Unknown_D [00:21:13]: Right.

Sabrina [00:21:14]: Because you were trying to do it by being like, okay, well, I'll do this.

Unknown_D [00:21:17]: I'll pay a wifi bill.

Sabrina [00:21:18]: Right? Yeah. I mean, I did that in the beginning, too.

John [00:21:21]: Or I think a woman, you know, has to have a standard. Right? Obviously, like, you girls didn't know this because you didn't know that men, you know, weren't. Weren't introduced to this. But. But women watching our show, you know, they can say, oh, no, hey, when I go on a date, like, the guy, like, I need to have some standards. Like, he needs to take care of me. He needs to pay for things. You know, how many times have I gotten by as a guy is like, all right, we'll go out for a couple drinks.

Sabrina [00:21:46]: Yeah, that's how we are. You know, it's like on our first.

John [00:21:49]: Day, like, not letting a guy get away with that because you know what he's thinking when he's like. I'm like, okay, minimum investment in order to get laid.

Nicole [00:21:56]: That's what I'm thinking.

Sabrina [00:21:57]: Yeah, but I knew you weren't getting late, so I was like, all right.

John [00:22:01]: Yeah, I saw a nipple note, but.

Sabrina [00:22:04]: That'S all you get.

Unknown_D [00:22:06]: Well, for us, it was. I mean, I was 21. It was four or five dates before any. We just kissed before I let anything happen. And those were overnight dates, too. Yeah, I was like, these are real fancy dates. I was like, I like these dinner dates.

Sabrina [00:22:22]: My dad's been watching the podcast, so he's gonna know I showed you a nipple on our first date.

John [00:22:27]: Yeah, I died. But. Yeah, but. But that's. But that's the thing is, like, having those standards for it. And. And it's funny because I get both men and women get flack from their peers about it because guys, they get called simps, right? That's something. It's like, oh, you're a simp. You're a simple. You're providing for, you know, a woman. Like, she's not doing paying the bill. You're paying for everything. Oh, you're a simp, right?

Nicole [00:22:54]: Yeah.

John [00:22:54]: And then women get harassed by other women is like, oh, you're just.

Unknown_D [00:22:59]: You're not in power.

Sabrina [00:23:00]: Right?

Unknown_D [00:23:00]: I know. It's so shitty. Like, yeah, this. The stay at home. Like, to belittle into a stay at home mom. Right? Or a stay at home wife or like, whatever the case might be. How mean is that for women? And it's. It's. It's not even men that are doing it. It's women. It's women on woman crime.

Sabrina [00:23:24]: It's jealousy, a lot of it.

Nicole [00:23:26]: I think that that's of it. Right. Because if you don't have a man that's taking care of you in that way, right. You're out like, you know, grinding at work every day and then someone else is like, oh yeah, my man takes care of me.

Sabrina [00:23:36]: Right.

Nicole [00:23:37]: Like exactly, like happy and living in my feminine. Like another girl that doesn't have that available to her. I could see why she'd be upset about that.

John [00:23:45]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:23:45]: Just like.

Unknown_D [00:23:46]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:23:46]: From a jealous standpoint.

Sabrina [00:23:48]: But it is a lot of tearing women down. I know sometimes when people are like, what do you do? I'm like, don't ask me that question. I'm like, I don't mind saying it, but like you said, I don't know how someone's gonna react to it.

Unknown_D [00:23:59]: Ye.

Nicole [00:23:59]: You know, which is weird because this is new, right? Like.

John [00:24:02]: Right.

Nicole [00:24:02]: The new age of things where you have to feel uncomfortable about that.

Sabrina [00:24:06]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:24:06]: That's like the, you know, that's just a norm.

Sabrina [00:24:10]: Like, what's the word I'm looking for? Like prove ourselves. Before we became a stay at home, you know, wife or mom, you know, I'm like, I went to college, I have a degree. I could, you know, if I needed to do something, I can. Right. And I've lived in that. And so I'm confident in that. And here I am now.

John [00:24:31]: But that doesn't even matter.

Nicole [00:24:32]: But that's why. Yeah, that's honestly a big part of, I think why I'm so down to take care of Sabrina and John's down to take care of you is because like we know that if we're not around, you guys represent us well and you can handle.

John [00:24:47]: Right.

Nicole [00:24:47]: And you speak intelligently and you can represent our families well. And so it's like at the end of the day, I don't think I don't want to stay at home. Wife. That also is just like worthless. Represent the family and like, and if we're not around, they handle.

John [00:25:04]: Yeah.

Unknown_D [00:25:04]: And also like, managing a household is a job.

John [00:25:08]: Oh, for sure.

Unknown_D [00:25:09]: It's a full time job.

Sabrina [00:25:10]: Yeah.

John [00:25:11]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:25:11]: And especially the way we just like tear through shit, you know.

Unknown_D [00:25:18]: I am grateful that you're not a messy person. No, you're not, you're not. But he does like to leave his hats everywhere.

Sabrina [00:25:25]: They all have their little things.

John [00:25:27]: Yeah, we gotta leave our things around.

Unknown_D [00:25:28]: Yeah. He just has hats everywhere. I'm like, why do you have so many hats?

John [00:25:31]: So you remember me?

Nicole [00:25:32]: We were showing you love. Yeah.

Unknown_D [00:25:34]: He's just a little Sprinkle of me. But no, it is to me, it sucks to see, you know, women being demonized for wanting this soft life and for being made to feel smaller than what they are when in reality, like ladies, like, we're working smarter, not harder.

Sabrina [00:25:56]: Right.

Unknown_D [00:25:56]: You know, like.

Nicole [00:25:57]: Well, plus the soft life, like us giving you a soft life is good for us. And the reason for that is like when I'm out in the world in business handling, it's like, go, go, go. Hyper competitive. You know, it's not soft. It's like you have to be on point, you have to be driving forward. You have to be like on your edge. Right, Right. And so at the end of the day, like, if my wife was also living that life, we would be coming home with just this like, energy and I can't, I need to like, let that all compress.

Sabrina [00:26:28]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:26:29]: I need to.

Unknown_D [00:26:29]: Dicks in the house.

Nicole [00:26:31]: Yeah. I need to like be able to come home and have.

John [00:26:33]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:26:33]: Softness at home and like, you know, come to my wife and have it be like, help me unload that gnarly. Like it's, you know, there's like this tension that lives in you when you're on your edge and like being competitive. And so I think if you don't create the soft life at home with your wife, then you're going to just be always in that mode. Cortisol levels just ripping through you. Then what happens? Like gnarly diseases, you, you know, you burn out. All these things that like, your health will deteriorate if you don't have like some sort of softness to, to take your edge off at the end of the day.

John [00:27:07]: Yeah, exactly.

Unknown_D [00:27:08]: Well, there's also the conversation of like, you know, what's the word that I'm thinking of right now? Moderation. Right. Like moderation in like. Yes, let's go, let's get it as a man. But then you come home and it's like you get to soften and even in that soften, you get to like rest.

Sabrina [00:27:31]: Right.

Unknown_D [00:27:31]: And like. And then that gives you like that rejuvenation to be able to go right back at it and like, do it all over again. Right. And then for women, I think also like, we are completely like biologically and molecularly built differently.

Sabrina [00:27:49]: Yeah.

Unknown_D [00:27:49]: We have different.

Sabrina [00:27:50]: We can't handle that. We can't not 24, 7, not going to a 35.

Unknown_D [00:27:55]: We are up and down. They're up and down and then up.

Sabrina [00:28:00]: We're on like a 28 day cycle. Yeah. 24 hour cycle. Their testosterone hits the Same time, every day. They can do it every day. But ours, we're not the same.

Unknown_D [00:28:12]: And it's like, why have we been feeding. Why has society been feeding us this lie? Like, oh, girls, like, be a boss, babe. Do yourself.

Nicole [00:28:23]: Then you get to tax two people in a household. So I mean, it's really, it's a lot of the same reason that society is, I mean, trains workers instead of entrepreneurs.

Unknown_D [00:28:31]: It's like, that's true.

Nicole [00:28:33]: It's a control mechanism. And I think making women work is a way to control society.

Unknown_D [00:28:38]: Yeah, yeah. And it's just, it's more empowering to be able to know, like, I have a healthy, strong, firm home and I am the foundation. Like, I am the heart of the home.

Sabrina [00:28:50]: Right.

Unknown_D [00:28:51]: Versus like, I'm trudging to try to keep this chimney or like this not chimney.

Sabrina [00:28:58]: What's the choo choo choo train? The chain rolling.

Unknown_D [00:29:08]: Yeah, yeah. It's just like, versus just being like, I'm just here, like being like strong for my man and he comes home and like, well, you're always home because you work from home.

Nicole [00:29:19]: Yeah. But, yeah, when I'm like, yeah, can turn off properly.

Sabrina [00:29:23]: I think that's why this is so important and why John and I wanted to start this and especially glad to have you guys on is because there needs to be more content like this.

John [00:29:33]: Right.

Sabrina [00:29:33]: Because we've been fed so much content. Like, we've been talking about, like, be independent and don't trust people.

Nicole [00:29:40]: I need friends like you guys in girls rooms. There's a lot we don't. We don't, you know, we have some friends like you guys and then we have other friends that we've known for a long time that are, you know, just kind of living, you know, men that are a bit in their toxic masculinity, women that are, you know, out grinding and, you know, and that she can't really be real about.

Unknown_D [00:30:00]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:30:00]: Our home life because she's like. Right.

Sabrina [00:30:04]: Yeah.

Unknown_D [00:30:04]: Well, like, I mean, you know what it is being a girl, right? Like in a girl's room, you're, you know, there's all this like, chitter chatter to be like, strong, be independent and it's. And sometimes us as women are our own worst enemies. Like, and I don't know where it stems from necessarily. Like, I know we touched on it slightly about like, you know, the jealousy aspect of it, but also like being honest with yourself, knowing that, like, it's okay to want to live a soft life. Yeah. Okay to say, like, I don't want to have to be in charge of it all. And that doesn't.

Nicole [00:30:44]: For the woman, that does it stay harder.

Sabrina [00:30:50]: Lesser.

Unknown_D [00:30:51]: Lesser. I am powerful, beautiful woman and I'm like fully empowered in my life.

Sabrina [00:30:59]: Yeah.

Unknown_D [00:30:59]: To live a great grandos life.

Sabrina [00:31:03]: Like, I feel like they just have never experienced, unfortunately, what you and I have experienced. And I think it comes more from a place of lack of knowledge of what they can do with their femininity when they are with a strong masculine man than anything. But what you said is a thousand percent true. And what they also need to realize, like you said earlier, is that because you guys have the dynamic you have, you are also free without the pressure of like financial matters or things like that, to pursue what you want to pursue.

Unknown_D [00:31:40]: Yeah.

Sabrina [00:31:40]: And John would support you and you don't have to worry about, oh, I gotta pay my 50% with my business that I'm starting.

Unknown_D [00:31:47]: Yeah.

Sabrina [00:31:47]: You can just be like, oh, John's got that handled. They're both John, by the way.

Unknown_D [00:31:52]: Did we say that earlier? Hold on.

Sabrina [00:31:54]: There's a clear.

Unknown_D [00:31:58]: Difference. He's Jahan.

Sabrina [00:32:00]: Jahan.

Unknown_D [00:32:02]: He's John and he's John.

Sabrina [00:32:04]: They're different. Same, but different.

John [00:32:05]: I think also people get. Get afraid because of. And that's why we call it, we invented the word, by the way, the modern traditional relationship. Because traditional relationship, right. The way it used to be was the woman stayed at home, you know, is in the kitchen taking care of the kids. And the man, you know, he works and. And traditionally, I think the reason why she had to listen to him obey your husband. And it was because women didn't have a way to support herself. Like she had to find a good man that maybe not even a good man, but a man that makes money is a good man with a paycheck. And so that's how things were. And so the submission of a woman to the dominance of a man was not voluntary. It was out of necessity. And so people are afraid of that they're afraid of, oh, well, I don't want to go back in time where women were suppressed. Right. And I don't want to be this macho man that just tells a woman what to do. And things were like that perhaps for a lot of. A lot of relationships. Traditional. But the modern relationship is all out of whack where everybody can do it. But what we're trying to say is that it's the most beautiful thing in.

Nicole [00:33:17]: A relationship because the woman has the choice to.

John [00:33:19]: Yeah, exactly.

Sabrina [00:33:20]: She's chosen.

John [00:33:21]: I trust this man. I'm putting my life into his hands. Not because I could make money on my own. I don't have to. You know, I'm not forced into that situation. But I listen to him. I let him lead because I trust his judgment, not because the Bible says so or whatever it is. It's because this is a man. I understand it, and I want him to lead my life. I feel like he can do a better job of. Of leading my life than I could. And I'm cool with that. That means a lot more because when you're not forced into the situation, and that's what we're. That's why I think that's so valuable, and that's the most powerful thing that you can.

Unknown_D [00:33:59]: It's totally true. It's like, I have wholeheartedly the utmost trust in you to lead our family right now. With that being said. Right. Like, is it like, I'm just, like, bending down at your will every. No. Obviously we're having conversations about, like, would you like this or no.

Nicole [00:34:19]: And I think that that's where I think. I think there could be a mistake around that. As if it's like. Like, in this type of relationship, I, like, run. And I'd say it's like, I run. Yeah. Outward, facing the world. I'm running in the home. We're partners. And, like, the. Her feminine power is so strong.

Unknown_D [00:34:37]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:34:38]: That I want to go run shit in the world to give her the life that she deserves. And I think that that's something that gets mistaken. It's like, oh, women are weak for wanting this life. And it's like, no, you're so strong and you're feminine. That this masculine man, like, wants to give you the world.

Unknown_D [00:34:52]: Yeah. Because it's, you know, like, if Nicole is. If you guys are. And I'm trying to think of, like, an actual, like, maybe a touch point specific. But, like, if there's something. There's always a conversation. It's never like my. And I think. And I think women are. Are. Are afraid of, like, the control of a man. And I think there are men that can be controlling, and that can be scary, and that is toxic. But when you know that, when you're in a good relationship, when there is that, like, yes, I'm gonna follow you. But also, like, the conversations and flows. Because it's all a vibe. It's all like, hey, it's like we.

Nicole [00:35:30]: Now realize, like, we've been trying to move away from the. You. You're doing this or. No. It's like, if I were to come at her about if she's not doing something that I. Something I don't like, and I need to address it. If I'm like, you're doing this wrong. You're doing this wrong. I'm, like, attacking myself in a way. If I bring her down, if I knock her down a couple pegs.

John [00:35:51]: Exactly.

Nicole [00:35:51]: That is basically just knocking me down. Like, it's just changing the energy in the home. She's sad now all of a sudden, like, things aren't right. And so what we've been really trying to focus on is, like, it's we with everything. And so if we're coming at each other, then we're not, you know, we're doing damage to us.

Unknown_D [00:36:10]: Right.

Nicole [00:36:10]: And if we're building each other up, we're building up us. And so, yeah, I think. I think that is one thing that people get mistaken with in this more modern is that, yeah, it's like, oh, the man's in charge and he's running because he's making the money. It's like, no, the reason I want to go make that money is because my woman's so powerful.

Unknown_D [00:36:27]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:36:27]: And she brings so much, like, heart into the home that I want to just feed that and give her the life that she deserves.

John [00:36:33]: And I think of it as, you know, I like to use analogy of the captain of the ship. Like a good captain of the ship, he goes down with the ship, Right. So he's still in charge. Right. Ultimately, he's going to call the shots and, you know, and the crew's going to respect him because they trust him. But the reason why the captain of the ship is trusted is because he should be putting the crew first, the welfare of everyone else. That's why, like, the captain goes down with the ship, everyone else gets rescued. And so as a man, if I'm expecting a woman to follow me and to listen to what I have to say, to have that authority, then I have to have responsibility, because you can't have responsibility without authority. And so I know in our relationship, you know, Nicole trust me to make decisions. Obviously, I'm going to solicit her input on the things. Ultimately, even if she disagreed with me, she's going to go along with what I said because she trusts me as the leader. But the reason why I would say that she has that trust is because she knows that I'm putting her first. I'm putting the ship first, the family first. It's not my own motives. I don't want to have power for the sake of being power.

Unknown_D [00:37:37]: I want that Your intention is like, is for the good of the family.

John [00:37:42]: Exactly.

Unknown_D [00:37:42]: For the good of your home. Like, and that's like the biggest thing, right. Is like, where is your intention lying? Right. When you're looking at these different polarities, is like, is your intention by being hyper masculine as a woman for like, for yourself or is it for the good of others? You know, we've had this conversation a lot recently where it's like, it's not just all about ourselves. It's about like, how can we be the best selves to like, service to others versus service to ourselves and being led with great intention and like honorable, you know, integrity and like. And that's why Nicole trusts you. You know, and it's why I trust John. It's just like, because I know his intentions will never like, lead me astray. Right.

John [00:38:32]: Yeah. Good leaders. Yeah. And good leaders don't have to say, you need to do what I say.

Unknown_D [00:38:37]: Yeah.

John [00:38:37]: Like, yes, technically I have the authority to say that.

Unknown_D [00:38:41]: Yeah.

John [00:38:42]: But I would never use that.

Unknown_D [00:38:43]: Yeah.

John [00:38:43]: Right. Unless it was an emergency and there's.

Nicole [00:38:46]: Like, no, come on.

John [00:38:49]: This is what we need to do. Like, yeah. In that situation. But a good leader, even not in a romantic relationship, but it's a leader of men as like is going to. People are going to follow because they trust, because they know that that person is looking out for them and the good of the team. And so that's the like. Yeah. You know, I think a lot of people picture in their head as just barking orders. But that's not, that's not even good leadership in general. Even if you have the position of authority, even if you're the president of whatever, then you can, and you can command by giving orders if you follow. If you see a good leader, they're not, they're never going to do that. Even if they have that 100 authority and everyone has to listen to them. They're going to, they're going to get people to follow them based on, first of all, servant leadership that they're, they're doing the actions first by example and then because those people know that it's for their good, not. Not for, for your own gain, you know.

Sabrina [00:39:46]: So yeah, I know that they're afraid of controlling men. That's a big fear that's pushed on women. But I think women also need to have the confidence to know that they know what a controlling man is because they have definitely encountered one at some point versus the kind of man that.

Unknown_D [00:40:04]: We'Re talking about a hundred percent and like. And have your wits about you, you know, like, I've been in a controlling relationship where it was just like, whoa, like, this is. And. And where it was disguised as, like, I'm trying to be masculine, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Sabrina [00:40:18]: Right.

Unknown_D [00:40:18]: But it's like, no, you're, like, micromanaging me in a very toxic way.

Sabrina [00:40:24]: Right, right.

Unknown_D [00:40:25]: Versus, like, with John. Like, I'm fully empowered to be, you know, my own person, but also one within the relationship.

Sabrina [00:40:35]: Right.

Unknown_D [00:40:35]: And it's like, come on, guys, like, let's use some common sense here. You know, like, if it's an apple, it's an apple. Like, you know, just.

Sabrina [00:40:43]: Yeah, you will know the difference.

Unknown_D [00:40:45]: You will know the difference. Like, there's a little voice inside of your head, like, that tells you this is not okay.

Sabrina [00:40:52]: Right.

Unknown_D [00:40:52]: And this is. Right.

John [00:40:54]: Right.

Unknown_D [00:40:54]: You know, and having that honest, true, like, inner monologue with yourself and inner conversation with yourself to be like, am I happy right now? Am I in a safe space right now? Because there is that worry, right, within a traditional relationship about the control. And it's like knowing, no, you're in a safe space, you know? And a lot of women, you know, me personally, have come from, like, abusive homes, you know, and where. Or abusive relationships or whatever it might be. And relinquishing that, like, control or, like, whatever can be daunting, it can be scary, it could be traumatizing. But knowing, like, when it is the right person, knowing when it comes from a good place. Yeah. You just have to know that it is the right person.

Sabrina [00:41:49]: Right.

Unknown_D [00:41:49]: And internally, you're just gonna know.

Sabrina [00:41:51]: Trust your intuition.

Unknown_D [00:41:52]: Trust your intuition. Women, like, because it's.

John [00:41:54]: It's the right person.

Unknown_D [00:41:55]: It's the right person because.

John [00:41:56]: Yeah, because the thing is, you know, because guys sometimes messes up, and women will often use the words controlling and insecure to cause that really will cut a man. Because many times guys will say things like, try to put boundaries and say, yeah, I don't think it's a good idea for us to be going out or, you know, to be going out with the girls to a bar, you know, that type of thing. And, oh, you're being controlling. You're insecure. And it's like, no, no. In that case, again, it comes down to the guy. You know, where this guy's coming from. Another guy could say, oh, no, you can't go, like, where are you going? Like, and being controlling of everywhere you're going and what you're doing. And that's a different man. Right. That's coming from a different place.

Unknown_D [00:42:35]: Yeah.

John [00:42:35]: So I think that that's why it does come down to the. The like. If you trust. You trust this person.

Unknown_D [00:42:41]: Yeah.

John [00:42:41]: If you trust him, then you know that where it's coming from.

Nicole [00:42:46]: And I think when you were talking earlier about how like a woman, like women that maybe aren't in a relationship that are listening here and they're like, okay, like, I want to find that. And you're like, you should hold that maybe expectation when you're going on a date that you're gonna find a man that is gonna take care of things. You know, I think, yes, I think women should hold standards in that way. I think there's also like, women out there that are in relationships that should like, like right now up their standards. And what I mean by that is, like, if. If you're with a man who's like, not living in his masculine and you're kind of having to like, battle with him all the time, and you're having a, you know, 50, 50 on everything. And like, that man is struggling, like he. His best self isn't who he is right now.

John [00:43:33]: Right.

Nicole [00:43:33]: And he might just need you to like, ask for more, like, rely on him more so that he can step into that masculine role and like, push himself to be a better man.

Sabrina [00:43:44]: I think you've read the Empowered Wife, haven't you?

Nicole [00:43:47]: I haven't yet.

Sabrina [00:43:48]: That's essentially like what she tells women to do.

John [00:43:51]: Yeah, exactly.

Nicole [00:43:52]: Yeah. You're just talking about it. She has it on her Kindle. I haven't read it yet though.

Sabrina [00:43:56]: But that's essentially what she tells women to do to men. And a lot of these women are the ones that we're talking about that have gotten like, more masculine dealing with these guys, and it's hard for them to relinquish that control. But you're spot on because that's what she says.

Nicole [00:44:10]: Yeah. I mean, I think that that coming from Sabrina. Right. Like, as we've been together for what, off and on for seven years? Ish.

Unknown_D [00:44:20]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:44:20]: And like together steady for three years.

Unknown_D [00:44:22]: Together for reals for three.

Nicole [00:44:24]: You know, and I would say in the last year or two, maybe a year and a half, I've like, really started stepping into a lot of my. My own self development. Getting into, you know, I read the way of the superior man, you know, most recently masculine in the relationship. You know, I've like, started to dive into a lot of my own, you know, mindset coaching around, you know, masculine and feminine energy and the way to like, see true success in my relationship. And as I've been Learning these things and implementing them in my relationship. Like, she's also been pushing me to, you know, to be that. Yeah. Yeah.

Unknown_D [00:44:57]: And I mean, we've had our trials and tribulations throughout our relationship, like, within the last few years, you know, and it. But it's the beautiful, like, fact, like, even if you're in a relationship currently, like, you know, we've been together for. Officially now for three years. Before that, we were friends with benefits. And, like, I would, like, kind of, like, tiptoe around these things around you.

Nicole [00:45:22]: But then when she started asking for things, yeah. I'm like, shit, let me make that happen.

Unknown_D [00:45:26]: Yeah, right?

Nicole [00:45:27]: Like, and when you're tiptoeing around it or, like. And it depends how you ask for things, if you're like, hey, I want.

Unknown_D [00:45:31]: Yeah. And I would, like, kind of attack you. I was like, yeah.

Nicole [00:45:33]: She'd be like, you.

Unknown_D [00:45:34]: You.

Nicole [00:45:34]: You never take me on dates. And I'm like, you. We go on dates. Like, what are you talking about? But, like, it was, like, more from a. Felt like an attack on things versus, like, hey, I would love it. I would love it if you took me on. On a cute date. I'm like, oh, she loves that.

Sabrina [00:45:49]: This cute restaurant.

Nicole [00:45:50]: Yeah, let me. I'm gonna jump through hoops to make that happen for her. And so I think for people that are in a relationship but maybe aren't feeling, like, the polarity that they would, like, I think it's like, you can make it happen. Like, I think a man can step into his masculine, and then his woman's gonna be more feminine. A woman can ask for the things that she wants out of a man and can relax more into her feminine and, like, show that feminine side. And the man's gonna want. He wants to see more of that, so he's gonna provide to make that happen.

Unknown_D [00:46:18]: Right? Like. Like, you know, I see on social media, like, women talk about, like, oh, now you're just, like, you know, like, bowing down to the patriarchy or whatever, and it's like, no, I'm.

Nicole [00:46:30]: We always. We always. We always do people say, like, the patriarch.

Unknown_D [00:46:34]: I was like, patriarchy. No, but, like, it's true.

John [00:46:41]: Say it's like, it's a bad thing. Patriarchy is a good thing. It's not a bad thing. Like, fatherly taking care of people. That is the goodest thing that there can be.

Sabrina [00:46:49]: Like. Like, you guys are talking about it. And again, I'm so glad you guys are talking about it. Especially, like, telling women that it's okay to want things, because if you want.

Nicole [00:47:01]: It, then your man is gonna most likely make it happen. If it's like, the right man for.

Unknown_D [00:47:05]: You, how powerful is it for me to be like, babe, I want this? And then, boom.

John [00:47:10]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:47:11]: Yeah.

Unknown_D [00:47:12]: And then I just got what I wanted. And, yeah, you like.

Nicole [00:47:15]: You like vision board stuff. And I'm just like, oh, shit. Like, it drives me to want more for us, too.

John [00:47:20]: It's like, women will always be more powerful than a man because if that woman makes that man as powerful as she can by supporting him, she can still get him to do whatever she wants at the end of the day because she can just say, you know, and again, it shouldn't be used in a manipulative way. But it's so easy to get a man to step up by saying, you know, it's really hot when I get. I got really turned on when you do this, like, or I really want this. This would. This would make me so happy. Yeah, those are the things to say. And even the most 50, 50 guy is going to be like, oh, it's really hot when you do that.

Nicole [00:47:56]: Watch it. Start doing more.

John [00:47:57]: Yeah. When you make decisions, when you decide what we're going to e. And you know that. That's hot. Like, oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. You know, when I feel like you're providing for me, I feel like. Like you're taking care of all the things and I can just be in my feminine. It really turns me on. Gets me like, oh, yeah, that. That's how you're going to get a guy to.

Nicole [00:48:16]: Well, I think people. There's probably. There's people that would, you know, disagree with us on everything we're talking about.

John [00:48:21]: Right.

Nicole [00:48:21]: And I think those are people that just aren't owning their roles in the right way once you do. Because I would have pushed back on this, too. Back in the day, like, when I was, like, kind of brainwashed by current society, I was like, oh, no. Like, you got to be careful and watch out for these gold diggers. And, you know, you don't need. Like, that was just me living out of scarcity.

Sabrina [00:48:40]: I was like, same way, but the woman version. And I said the same thing. Like, I would watch stuff that we do now and be like, yeah, okay, whatever. But that's why I think it's a lack of knowledge from people. And hopefully, even if. If they haven't met their perfect person, like we've met, you know, ours, that they can still listen to what they're saying.

Nicole [00:49:01]: If they haven't met their perfect person, they shouldn't worry about meeting the earth version, they should worry about becoming the best version of themselves. And then once they do like the rest, you know, the universe takes care of it.

Sabrina [00:49:11]: Yeah.

John [00:49:12]: And here's the best reason for it. I think that is the most convincing, which is that like that most relationships, what happens is that you, you do have some kind of polarity to begin. Otherwise you wouldn't even been attracted to each other. So the guys at least somewhat masculine woman's feminine. You get around each other too much and you rub off on each other and then you depolarize and you're kind of the same. And so what happens to that sexual like desire that you had? It fizzles. And most people think that's just normal, that's you're out of the honeymoon phase and that. But if you have a relationship where you constantly have a masculine and feminine, you're constantly going to have that sexual energy all the time and it's never going to fizzle. And you can live your whole life like that. And I used to wonder how people did this because I remember one time.

Nicole [00:49:52]: Stay turned on by each other.

John [00:49:53]: Yeah. I was listening to this radio, you know, back before I met Nicole, when I was married before, you know, and this lady called in because they're talking about how much do you love your spouse or whatever? And this woman, she's like, yeah, I've been married to my husband for like, I think she said like 10 years. And she said I'm just like, I'm still just so turned on by him. I'm just every day, I just like so in love with him. And, and when I heard that, I was like, what, how's that even possible? You know what I mean? But probably they had that kind of dynamic in the relationship because that, because most people think that, you know, and science tells you, right, the chemicals in your brain, you know that you have the bonding, the oxytocin in that and that's why you get together. But then over some period of time, then that diminishes and is biologically created so that people would mate. But it's supposed to diminish over time. That's not true. It doesn't.

Nicole [00:50:49]: I mean, you can keep it flowing.

John [00:50:50]: Yeah, yeah.

Unknown_D [00:50:51]: I mean like my, my grandparents, my grandpa passed away in 2016, but like, he would like forward emails to like my dad saying, like, this is the special pill I'm using. Like, because they were in like a.

Nicole [00:51:06]: Getting it on.

Unknown_D [00:51:09]: Yeah. Like, you know, Richard and Adeline Smith.

Nicole [00:51:14]: Like, just still getting, still humping.

Unknown_D [00:51:18]: I Mean, honestly. I mean, and I can say it truthfully. Like, a few months ago, when I was, like, still, like, trying, like, grinding my butt off, trying to, like, run my business, I. At the end of the day, I'm like, don't even touch me.

Nicole [00:51:31]: Yeah.

Unknown_D [00:51:32]: Like, I'm tired. I am, like, drier than the Sahara desert right now. I just want to go to bed. Like, my brain is tired. My eyes are tired. I don't. And, like, right now, I'm just, like, kind of chilling and, like, getting stuff done throughout the house and, like, obviously just soaking wet. I mean, like, last night was fun, you know, but, like, it is true. Like, our. Like, our sex life has gotten, like, oh, yeah, incrementally better. Like, like, substantially better than what it was when I was, like, it works. Stressed out. Yeah.

Nicole [00:52:06]: Like, well, and just. Because, like, it goes both ways. Like, a man's gonna be more turned on by this woman if she's more feminine.

John [00:52:11]: Right, Right.

Nicole [00:52:12]: And how's she gonna be more feminine? Well, you get her out of her masculine energy.

John [00:52:15]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:52:15]: And then all of a sudden, like, you' you're like, damn, there's that little spark, you know, that little, like, oh, yeah, like, versus she's living in her masculine. Has that energy. You're kind of like, oh, just avoid this right now. Like, that seems like trouble. So.

John [00:52:27]: Yeah. And the feminine mind, like, I mean, just like, the. The sex part. The lesson on sex is the. The feminine mind. I mean, you girls can correct me if I'm wrong, but when you're. When you're having sex, like, if there's other things that are in your mind, like, there's, you know, I got to take care of this. Or, like, this is going. Like, all those thoughts are going to. On.

Unknown_D [00:52:45]: And you're like, my RAM is full. I'm like, if I have 30 emails and, like, a meeting tomorrow, like, yeah, no, I'm not thinking about you. My brain is at capacity, sir. Get away. You can see because literally, absolutely not.

John [00:53:02]: Women have a diffuse attention where they're paying attention to multiple things and all these things where men compartmentalize. As a man, I'm like, okay, it's. It's work mode. Okay, now it's sex mode. Okay. It's like, you know, it's like, whatever I'm doing, that's all I'm focusing on.

Sabrina [00:53:17]: And then John would be like, all right, you ready? I'm like, no, no. I'm like, I'm still emotionally processing.

Unknown_D [00:53:22]: Yeah, no, we take so much longer to process things. Like, John, you Know when I would be working in my office, some like random days. It's funny that you say like sex mode, work mode. He would like, he'd come into my office, like at the door and he'd be like, do you want to fuck? And I'm like in the middle of like designing. Whatever I'm designing, I'm like absolutely freaking not like, I definitely don't want to have sex.

Nicole [00:53:43]: Turn off the work mode.

Unknown_D [00:53:44]: Let's go.

Nicole [00:53:44]: Don't worry about that.

Sabrina [00:53:45]: Mentally work yourself up as a woman.

John [00:53:47]: Like, but as a man. If you create, that's the incentive for men is that if you de. Stress her by taking care of all the bills, taking care of. When you do travel, you take book all the things and figure out all the logistics, do all this stuff so she could just be a little princess and just relax. Then she.

Nicole [00:54:07]: And then she's like, yeah, and isn't it worth it? Hey, daddy.

John [00:54:13]: Great.

Sabrina [00:54:13]: There's less than things on our mind. So easier to switch into the mode that you want us to be in 100%.

Unknown_D [00:54:19]: And it's just like, I mean even like I. I traveled with my best friend, a girl best friend for a long time and I was the one like planning, booking all the flights, booking all the Airbnbs. And I was getting like really stressed. And this is like pre me knowing anything about like femininity and masculinity. And I started doing some random Googles, like, like, why am I so stressed out? Blah, blah, blah. And just like in Google. And it was like, oh, I'm being in my masculine. I'm like. And then I go to my best friend, I'm like, can you start booking things because I'm miserable.

Sabrina [00:54:53]: Yeah.

Unknown_D [00:54:55]: And she was like, oh, yeah, you.

Sabrina [00:54:56]: Know, like, because she was being just a girl. Because she was being demand.

Unknown_D [00:55:00]: She was being just a girl.

Sabrina [00:55:02]: You were stressed.

Unknown_D [00:55:04]: Like, no, I'm like, why do I hate you so much right now? But I like love you. But I'm like stressed out, you know.

Sabrina [00:55:10]: Like you're both supposed to be just.

John [00:55:11]: Girls, but these things end up like, it's. It's like people are. I. I mean we get all the time, but people are so opposed to it and they think. And it's like, yeah, but if you just let go of that for a minute and just realize that, hey, maybe see what it feels like to live as a man in your masculine. To take care of all the things and as a woman in her feminine, it's just a better. It doesn't like people post it like.

Nicole [00:55:33]: Oh, like your, your viewers.

John [00:55:35]: Yeah. They're like equal rights and all this stuff and all these things that they. And it's like, yeah, but, but if you just forgot about all that stuff that you knew before.

Nicole [00:55:42]: Yeah.

John [00:55:42]: And you just said, okay, let's try this out. Right.

Nicole [00:55:45]: Yeah.

John [00:55:45]: Then you would find a lot more peace and joy and happiness in that. You know, it's like, you don't have to represent all the things and be like, oh, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not holding up my part of, of the, the feminist movement or whatever. Like, all that kind of stuff that, you know, we get in our heads is.

Unknown_D [00:56:01]: And I'm all about like, hey, let's make healthc care better for women. Like, you know, contraception better for women. Like, all of those different things in regards, like, yes, 100%. But I think making women feel like they have to be the man in the relationship is detrimental to our health. I mean, I can show off my. I don't have my phone on me right now, but if I go through my aura ring, compared from now to like 4 months ago when I was like, just working nonstop, stress levels were just off the charts. And like, and it's just not natural. Like, it really isn't. Like, and it, this is really like a push for men to, like, step up to the plate and also women to like, to like, ask for it. Hold your man to a higher standard.

John [00:56:54]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:56:55]: It pushes us to be a better man.

Unknown_D [00:56:56]: Yeah.

John [00:56:56]: So, yeah, like, gotta be pushed.

Nicole [00:57:00]: Yeah, we do. Yeah, like, yeah, like, we can push ourselves so far, but when our woman, like, wants more from us, we're gonna just, like, continue to evolve so much faster. Exactly.

Unknown_D [00:57:11]: I want another product.

John [00:57:14]: And men are posted too, because of the whole 50, 50 thing. And. Right. And it's like they're afraid of being. How many guys tell me, oh, if I take a girl out on a date and pay for it, then she'll just be taking advantage of me. And, and I'm like, you got the wrong frame, dude. Because, you know, if you go out, if a girl has the privilege of going on a date with you, then that is, that's worth more than the meal and anything else. And if she just wants the meal, then it's fine. Like, you, you, you. There's plenty there. You know, abundance, mindset and thinking. Like, if you're thinking people are going to take advantage of you, then they are. Yeah, but you think you're so valuable that how could someone take advantage of the financial part of you when they would be missing out on the, the greater parts you offer because you know, you're a man and you're in your masculine and you know, you take care of people and you know, you get your shit, then it doesn't matter. Then you're not worried about that, that kind of stuff. But, but so many guys now are caught up in this is like, I'm amazed by how many guys are sick of the, the woke liberal type of propaganda and media, but at the same time then they want to do 50, 50. And I'm like, you can't have both. If you want to be like, go and, and go whatever and, and you know, dye your hair blue and do all that kind of stuff, go ahead. But, and, but, but if you want to be the man and you, and you don't like any of that stuff, then you can't be 50.

Nicole [00:58:27]: 50.

John [00:58:28]: You got to step up 100.

Nicole [00:58:29]: Yeah, well, I think from a man perspective, you also have to like, if that's where your head is, then there's probably some other stuff you got to work on too. Like if you're tripping on a girl, taking advantage of like a meal out, then like, you need to make more money. So that doesn't bother you.

John [00:58:43]: Exactly.

Nicole [00:58:43]: Like if you're like these, these little things, if you're like, you're fat, you're poor, you're whatever, like, like, fix it, dude. Focus on yourself. Fix that. The right woman's going to come along. Don't worry about what women are doing. You still have some work to do on yourself before you should worry about what a woman's doing 100%.

Unknown_D [00:58:59]: Yeah.

John [00:58:59]: All right, well, I guess we should do the end segment here and then we can.

Nicole [00:59:04]: Oh, is that how long we've been going?

John [00:59:05]: Yeah, yeah, we do them about, about an hour. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. So this is where we share our.

Sabrina [00:59:13]: Basically.

John [00:59:14]: So it's up to you how much you want to share divulge. But, but I don't know if it's. Whose turn is it?

Sabrina [00:59:19]: We weren't like arguing, but I was being negative. I forget why. It was probably just stressed out from like Sophia was kind of like upset about something and I'm very much a like energy taker on her. So like when she's happy, I'm like, yeah, when she's sad, I'm like, it's okay. But then she keeps being sad and I'm like, oh, now we're all sad. So I think I was just overwhelmed and John was like, you're being negative. And I'm like, I don't know how to be sad and not be negative. And so we just had a long conversation in the tub about that. Yeah, in the tub.

John [00:59:56]: But it was good because I think what came out of it was this idea that, like, I think because you. You had this concept in your head. Well, it still kind of relates to feeling like you have to earn love. Right? And. And I think what we were talking about was this idea of that. The opposite, that you can't have gratitude and negativity at the same or victim mindset. So, like, the negative come from the victim mindset. But once you're looking at the lens through gratitude, then you can't have the victim mindset. You have to pick one. And so by focusing on the gratitude, like, turning the things around, because I think a lot of the. Even just the self talk that you gave yourself sometimes would be a little bit, like, harsh on yourself as opposed to, like. Cause you. I think one of the things you said was like. Like, how do I know you're never gonna leave me? Or it was. It was something like that. Or you won't get tired of me. And as opposed to turning around and saying, oh, it's so great. I have a guy who's never gonna get tired of me. It's so great.

Sabrina [01:00:53]: That just seems so delulu to me, though, which it's like, I know, but.

John [01:00:58]: You gotta pump yourself with that, you know? And that's what is.

Unknown_D [01:01:01]: Is that.

John [01:01:02]: Because that.

Sabrina [01:01:02]: Which can be hard because I'm still, you know, there's still times I get stuck in, like, the scarcity mindset or like, abandonment or whatever it is, or all the things. And I'm like, oh, I don't know. And I'd rather not. I'd rather worry about it. So I'm prepared, but it doesn't actually prepare me. And it's like, I know all these things, like, in my mind, but it's breaking that habit. Like breaking the habit of being yourself. Such a good book. But it's essentially that it's like you get in these habits that you have to break by. John helped me with this by changing it, rather than. Because I would probably beat myself up and be like, don't do that, Nicole. And then it would probably work a little bit. But then I'm also like, shaming myself, right? Which is not good. But instead of, you know, trying to stop cold turkey, replacing the habit with something positive is better way to look.

John [01:01:56]: At it than, yeah, just flipping it.

Nicole [01:01:58]: Around, which it is hard to do. But it does work. Like, we. When we focus on. And gratitude. And, like, it's funny you say in the tub. We just jumped in the.

Unknown_D [01:02:07]: I know. We had a. Is that our next.

Nicole [01:02:15]: Yeah. But we would get a lot of viewers. We were talking through just, like, some of our. And then we just started, like, leaning into, like, well, what are we grateful for? And we started, like, listing things off, and it was like, well, obviously, I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful for Reggie, our dog. Grateful for this, like, you know, house and your car. But then we're like, well, like. Like, let's, like, really dig in here. What else? And we're like, okay, our family. I'm grateful for my brother and Tessa and his. His girl and their kid. And then, you know, your family.

John [01:02:42]: And then.

Nicole [01:02:42]: Then we start talking about our friends. We're like, you know, we've, like, changed the proximity of the friendships that were. And we just, like, really started leaning into the. All these different little nuances of things that we're grateful for.

John [01:02:54]: Yeah.

Nicole [01:02:54]: And, you know, you go through that session for, like, yeah, 10, 15 minutes.

Unknown_D [01:02:59]: We've done that a few times.

Nicole [01:03:00]: Yeah. You come out on the other side of it, and, like, everything else you were bickering about, you can just, like, handle. In two seconds, it's like, oh, this is what we're fighting about. Okay, well, here's like, yeah, here's where I should have showed up better. Or here's how, like, you could have showed up, you know, in a way that was going to be more conducive to our success in our relationship, whatever it is. But you can, like, knock that out so much easier. And a lot of that comes with, like, what we found is, like, you got to move your body. You got to, like, be in a good physical state. Because if you're just sitting there on a couch just like, in your. You've been scrolling on social media, and you're in, like, a hole of depression. Like.

Unknown_D [01:03:29]: Like, yeah, you can't see it. Like, I'll see her start to go.

Nicole [01:03:33]: Or, like, she'll just be talking to me, and I'll just feel, like, the energy shifting. Get up. And she's like, I don't want to. I'm like, you have to.

Sabrina [01:03:40]: Then it's like, you have to.

Nicole [01:03:42]: If you don't want to, then you have to. Like, you got to get up.

Unknown_D [01:03:45]: Don't touch me.

Nicole [01:03:46]: And, like, all right, I'm picking you up.

John [01:03:48]: Then, like, demonstration of being masculine is, like, not being phased by it and, like, not, like, not reacting to A real mood and being like. Like, oh, well, that's not nice.

Nicole [01:03:59]: But let's be real. Am I faced by. I am. I'm trying not to show that. Right. It's like the whole be responsive instead of reactive because my instant reactivity is like, come on. Can't do that. So then it's like, all right, Norm.

Unknown_D [01:04:12]: Like, your old response would be like, okay, fine. Then I'm just walking away.

John [01:04:15]: Okay, fine.

Nicole [01:04:16]: Yeah, yeah. I'm not dealing with this thing. Right? Oh, you're not in a mood.

John [01:04:18]: All right, I'm not dealing the difficulty.

Nicole [01:04:20]: But that's not. That doesn't work.

Unknown_D [01:04:21]: No. He, like, just embraces it fully, and he's like, nope. Like, come on. And he. He's literally been like. He's like, pick me up off the.

Nicole [01:04:27]: Bed, and I'll be like. And then I'm like, we're in a mood right now because it's us. If you're in a mood. I guess I'm in a mood. So we're in a mood, and how do we fix this?

Unknown_D [01:04:35]: And then in the motion of picking my little bratty ass up, I'm just like.

John [01:04:41]: She gets in a better mood instantly.

Unknown_D [01:04:44]: The purple, like, devil emoji. I'm like. And then, yeah, I'm in a better mood immediately. And then we're just like.

Nicole [01:04:51]: And then we start talking about what we're grateful for, and then all of a sudden, then we'll address whatever the issue was. And it's usually from a place of.

Unknown_D [01:04:58]: None of the issues are really ever that grave. No, but it's just, like.

Nicole [01:05:02]: It's usually just, like, mindset, and it's like, one of us is in the right mindset, and we start just acting wrong to each other. It happened, like, like a week ago. I was like, I'm dealing with this. Like, one of my companies is being audited by the edd, and it's like, the most California bureaucratic nonsense. It's just, like, the most frustrating thing. Just. I mean, stupidest thing. But I was dealing with it all day, and my energy with Sabrina was like. I was stressed. I was stressed about this. I was having to do all this paperwork just, like, all this nonsense, and I was putting that out. I wasn't, like, handling it myself or talking and calling John and talking through it. I was, like, putting it on Sabrina. And then all of a sudden, like, her mood shifted. She started, like, being snappy about stuff, and I had to, like, go internal and think, like, wait, what just happened? Like, she's been like. Like, Soft. All day now. This all changed. What. How am I showing up? And I was like, oh, dude, I've just been, like, dumping my stress on her all day.

John [01:05:58]: Yeah.

Nicole [01:05:58]: And now she's in a mood, and I'm always like, okay, chameleons, what happened here? And then I had to come back and be like, babe, I'm. I just put that on you all day. Like, what? I think, as a man, like, if you just flip inward and look at how you're showing up and take that extreme ownership, you'll see how fast. Like, as soon as I, like, owned it, I was like, this was on me, babe. I'm sorry I brought this energy. Like, I watched you change your mood. She's just like, oh, like, I didn't realize what that was. But, yeah, like, cool, now we're good.

Unknown_D [01:06:26]: Yeah, it did turn the whole day around because it was like. It was. Our day was going, like, south.

Nicole [01:06:31]: Yeah.

Unknown_D [01:06:31]: And then I was like, oh, you just owned it.

Sabrina [01:06:34]: Better now.

John [01:06:35]: Yeah.

Sabrina [01:06:36]: Yeah.

Unknown_D [01:06:36]: And because, well, women were such empaths. Right? Like, naturally, we take on. We're just emotional creatures. And so, yeah, it's just, like, it's very dependent, like, on, like, a man. And it's not to say that you're not allowed to have your emotions, like, please, like, have your emotions. But, like, how it's, like, conveyed and like. And then. And then realizing, like, oh, wow, like, what you were just saying, like, I'm having this negative emotion. How can I come at this from a better and grateful angle? And you did. Because that day, you're like, I'm grateful that I'm getting audited. And, like, what's the positive in this stuff?

Nicole [01:07:09]: From this? And then all of a sudden. And, yeah, it turned everything around for us.

John [01:07:13]: So, yeah, it's. It's so easy to flip a woman's emotion, but I forget that myself. You know, it's like, yeah, but. You know, but that's the thing is, it's like, you can fight it, and then you're gonna have a fight.

Nicole [01:07:25]: You can get down on that level with them and bicker.

John [01:07:27]: Yeah.

Nicole [01:07:28]: Now you're both being a bitch.

John [01:07:29]: Or you can scoop them up, or.

Unknown_D [01:07:30]: You can just literally change the mood and just be like, you're not doing this.

Nicole [01:07:33]: Let's play.

John [01:07:34]: Yeah.

Sabrina [01:07:34]: Yeah.

John [01:07:35]: And that's. Yeah, that's so cool.

Unknown_D [01:07:37]: Cool. Yeah.

John [01:07:37]: All right, well. Yeah. Awesome. It was great having you guys.

Nicole [01:07:41]: Yeah. Thanks, guys. That was really fun.

Sabrina [01:07:42]: Would you like to come back for the next one? Yes, in five minutes.

John [01:07:47]: Since we back. Well, thanks, everyone. For joining. We'll see you next week. Make sure that you leave us a review, you know, on the Apple podcast app or Spotify. We still have banana fingers for the last review says banana fingers. So that cannot keep on continuing in 2025 live. So it's your mission to. To put something else.

Unknown_D [01:08:10]: I have a lot of questions.

John [01:08:11]: Yeah, and we'll read it on the air, obviously, so it's a good, you know, whatever you want to put, whatever your message is. So hopefully it's positive. All right, guys, we'll see you next week.

Nicole [01:08:21]: Through every fault, we find our way.