John [00:00:00]: Guys that teach guys how to pick up women or dating, coaching, they will tell the opposite of what I'm saying. They'll say, oh, yeah, it's fine. They love women's liberation. And in places where women are promiscuous.

Nicole [00:00:10]: Yeah. But then they don't want to marry any of those women. And the guy who never wants to settle down, who low key does want to settle down no matter what he says.

John [00:00:18]: Yeah, those guys are going to Sweden to pick up women, and then they're trying to go to Philippines to marry them. Beyond the perfect we discover through our.

Nicole [00:00:28]: Flaws, we complete each other.

John [00:00:31]: Better than perfect. We stay through every fault we find. No way. Welcome back to the Better Than Perfect podcast, where every week we share with you how two imperfect people helping each other grow equals one better than perfect relationship.

Nicole [00:00:50]: That's right.

John [00:00:50]: All right, so we're back. Because we're back again. Yeah, we're gonna be. We're doing an episode or episodes. Because we're gonna be in Switzerland.

Nicole [00:01:00]: Yes. Kind of a last minute. I mean, we kind of knew about it, I guess around Christmas, but which is still kind of last minute.

John [00:01:07]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:01:08]: For like, a trip. But. Yeah, we just solidified it not that long ago. So.

John [00:01:12]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:01:13]: Pretty soon. And it's gonna be cold, but yeah, very excited.

John [00:01:17]: Top secret project.

Nicole [00:01:19]: So top secret. You can't know until you can know.

John [00:01:23]: Yeah. But I mean, with a short notice, I do have everything pretty much planned out.

Nicole [00:01:27]: Yeah, you've done a really good job.

John [00:01:28]: Maps and. And all the things.

Nicole [00:01:30]: It's just more so like the.

John [00:01:31]: Yeah. The rush of.

Nicole [00:01:33]: Yeah. And, like, making sure we don't forget anything. It's just like the, you know, the preparation part feels a little rushed. Like, we literally leave on Monday and I don't want to wait till the last minute to pack our suitcase and stuff. And we got to make sure we have warm clothes and not to hold. Like, packing warm clothes is. I feel, like, a lot more annoying than packing summer clothes. But it's gonna be like, those are just little things. But it's gonna be a great time. It's just like when it's a fast trip, you just feel like you mentally just have to do it, you know, like, you can't think about it. As far, we were talking about how, like, our honeymoon was probably our most. One of our most thought out trips. Like, we knew we were going, and so we had months to, like, think about it and figure it out. But some of our other ones have been very last minute, but they're all, like, fun. It's just like the mentally preparing and like. Or if you want to get like a cute outfit to wear, like. Nope, you gotta wear what you have. Which is maybe a good thing as well too. So, you know, it happens how it's supposed to happen.

John [00:02:36]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:02:36]: And it'll be fun. And full of fondue.

John [00:02:40]: Yes.

Nicole [00:02:40]: I'm so excited about the fondue. And the chocolate. And the chocolate.

John [00:02:46]: I'm trying to think what, what drama's been going on in the.

Nicole [00:02:49]: I don't think there's fires.

John [00:02:50]: I mean the fires. But yeah.

Nicole [00:02:52]: As we're sitting here, we're hoping there's not.

John [00:02:54]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:02:55]: Well, that's for the end.

John [00:02:56]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:02:56]: Oh, no, no.

John [00:02:57]: I mean like in general, like our comments and stuff and. Yeah. What's going on in the world? I don't know.

Nicole [00:03:03]: People are upset about your, like the video of you talking about that if you make a commitment that.

John [00:03:10]: Oh.

Nicole [00:03:11]: Like not being attracted to somebody is an excuse, not an excuse to leave. They think it is an excuse. And I get like those people probably been burned or.

John [00:03:19]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:03:20]: Hurt or whatever. And I understand that. But at the same time, you know, if you make a commitment, right. You. You should stick it out longer than you would just willy nilly like deciding to do something.

John [00:03:35]: I mean, you don't have to get married. You don't have to make a marriage commitment. We're not talking about that. You can't break up if you're girlfriend and boyfriend.

Nicole [00:03:43]: Right. But I mean, I feel like even if you're committing to that level.

John [00:03:47]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:03:48]: It still should be. Yeah. It should be serious.

John [00:03:50]: Like it should be. Yeah. But you could at that level, if you don't feel like you like the person anymore or you're in love with them, if you want to break up with them, hey, that's your choice. Right? That's. You haven't made a promise that you're not going to do that. But if you want to get married, then you got to weigh it out. Like, okay, I'm making a really serious commitment and choice. And it has to be to the point of if I don't like you anymore, I'm still going to stay with you because it's just ridiculous. Because how are you going to base anything off of anything? How you have any kind of security or trust if you don't have that? If they're like, okay, well, yeah, I mean, I kind of love you right now a lot, but in the future, if I don't, then I'm not going to stick with you. We're all going to get old, which we'll talk about in this episode. But that's why a commitment like that, I mean, what happened?

Nicole [00:04:44]: You don't feel like even just dating could be that level of commitment? Because here's why I'm asking why. Because I was talking to a lady in the comments and she was like, you know what if we're not meant to be together long term and don't involve the government in your relationship or your sex life or whatever.

John [00:05:03]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:05:05]: And like, sure, if that's what she wants to do, that's fine. I didn't tell her that. No, you need to get married. But also at the same time, like, if you're committing to being with somebody, even not marriage yet, like, shouldn't you still be trying to work it out? Like, yes, you can get out easier and things like that too. But is marriage only good because you can't get out easy? Like, I know that that's like part of what makes you not do it as like quickly and like, as like a rash decision. Because a lot more is involved. And I think that's a good thing because people, especially now, are very, like instant gratification. Very, like, drop people in an instant. So I feel like because more things are involved, it's good that it makes people have to work harder. But also at the same time, like, I feel like a commitment is a commitment and you should be trying your hardest before you even get to that point anyway.

John [00:06:05]: Yeah, I mean, I think you should be trying your hardest for sure. But the state, you haven't promised anything that, you know, you haven't made any kind of binding promise at that point. So if you change your mind, that's okay at that point. Right.

Nicole [00:06:19]: Can you make a binding promise without being married?

John [00:06:22]: Oh, well, no. Well, sort of being married by the state, like officially married, legally married, that means nothing at all. That's. That's just whatever. That's just is going to save you some money on your taxes type of thing. So there's a lot of people that say, I don't want to have the government involved in my marriage. I agree. I would not like to have the government involved in our marriage, but I did because I'd also like to save a lot of money on our taxes. Right. So it just, it just makes sense. But if that weren't the case, then I would say, yeah, let's not get legally married, but let's have a ceremony. Let's make the promises to each other, which effectively is exactly the same. It should be the same in your mind.

Nicole [00:07:02]: Right.

John [00:07:03]: Because that's what you're doing. But when you're making that actual commitment and promise in front of your family, in front of your friends, you're writing the vows, you're saying the things, you're exchanging the rings, the token of that commitment, regardless of whether the state is involved or not, that's the level of commitment that.

Nicole [00:07:19]: Okay, so you're saying if you, whether the government's involved or not, if you make that high of a commitment, then you should heed the advice that you said.

John [00:07:31]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:07:31]: In the video. Stick it out, figure it out, work it out.

John [00:07:35]: Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Figure it out. Yeah. That's better than just, than just sticking it out. But.

Nicole [00:07:39]: Yeah, well, what I had said to her too, is that because, look, her, her viewpoint is fair. I went and looked at her profile and she had been divorced and I get that she, you know, is talking from her own experience.

John [00:07:55]: Right.

Nicole [00:07:55]: But there is something to be said that a lot of the information prior to now, because I feel like now we are getting better relationship information, not just from our podcast, but from other people as well too.

John [00:08:10]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:08:11]: And what I told her was that, but what if we just haven't been fed the right information about relationships or how to have a healthy relationship or marriage, and that's what causes us not to be together long term. Because there are plenty of married people, or even not married people or who like, committed to each other, like you said, but didn't get the government involved, who have been together a long time and they are genuinely happy. So if those people exist, then something is working. They figured out something that works. And obviously that's why we're here too, because we figured out something that's work, like, ends up working.

John [00:08:51]: Right.

Nicole [00:08:52]: And so like, you can't really say. And she wasn't saying that her situation benefits everybody. She acknowledged that. You know, and I'm not saying that everybody wants to even be monogamous like you and I, but you can't really paint it black and white. And if you do want a relationship like you and I have, you can have it.

John [00:09:14]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:09:15]: And if you want to involve the government for the tax benefits, you can do it. And if you have a relationship that's maybe not doing the best, you can change it. Like, you know, she was trying to act like we had a negative, like, one way view of things, but really like her, she was actually coming off a little bit more negative. And, you know, people might have seen that and been like, I don't, you know, this now. I don't want to get married. And like, what if they did before? And, like, the thing is that both are a possibility. Like, we never sit here and say that people need to get married. Like, we tell people the benefit we.

John [00:09:55]: Tell them, don't get married, actually, is what you tell them is because you're.

Nicole [00:09:57]: Not married until, you know.

John [00:09:58]: Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you do, then realize that it is a lifelong moment and there's no getting out of that, basically, aside from the obvious reasons where that would be the case. Right. So we don't even need to say that. But it's like, the reason why I think it's so important without sidetracking the whole episode, is that it's intimacy. Or let's say vulnerability is based off of trust. Like. Like a trust fall. Okay. If you do a trust fall with someone and they're like, okay, are you going to catch me? Yeah, unless I get a text message or something and it distracts me. Right. Are you going to. Are you going to be vulnerable? Are you going to fall back? No, you're not going to. And so if you're in a marriage with someone and they're like, are you going to be there no matter what? Sickness and health till death do we part? And they're like, I mean, not, like, not that extreme. Not. I mean, like, most likely, you know, yeah, I don't think I'm going to fall out of love with you. But, you know, if I did, obviously I would leave for my own happiness. How are you going to be vulnerable with that person? Are you, like, you better put on a lot of makeup. You better make sure they never see any weaknesses. You better make sure that you never exhibit any kind of qualities that would make them fall out of love with you, because they're not going to stick around if it's no longer good for them. You see what I'm saying? So how can you be real and be vulnerable if you don't have that? That's the beauty of marriage, is that you're creating that level of trust through a commitment that's more than just your word. It's a ceremony. It's a legal binding. If you do through the government, it's in front of your family and friends that allows you to have that level of intimacy and vulnerability to trust. Someone's going to be there no matter what, that changes the very nature of the relationship. If you don't believe that someone's going to be there no matter what and you're not going to be, your investment is not going to be as great and so you're actually creating a situation where you're more likely to fail because your investment isn't as great.

Nicole [00:12:12]: No, you're right.

John [00:12:13]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:12:14]: Well, and like you said, like, we take marriage very seriously. So we're firm believers of don't even get married unless you fully trust this person.

John [00:12:25]: Right.

Nicole [00:12:26]: And you have a sort of relationship where you feel like you're going to be together forever and that's what you want. You're not accepting any less. That's what you're striving for.

John [00:12:38]: Right.

Nicole [00:12:38]: Because you have to have that level. If you're just like, okay, I like them, but sometimes some things upset me, or, you know, we still have this problem, but maybe getting married will fix that and we'll be happier or, you know, we'll have a kid and it'll be better. Like, that sort of situation is not. That's. If you're getting married to try to fix something when you already have things going on, then that's. You're just going to accumulate more problems. Right, exactly. Not get rid of ones that you already have. And you have to be together and face things and, you know, talk about things, be able to communicate so that, you know, when you do get married and you do commit to that level, that you've already dealt with a lot of things together and faced adversity and, you know, done all these things and you guys made it out on the other side and you trust them 100% and, you know, all the things that really you should have together before you get married. I mean, we even had things that we had to fully resolve that were under the rug a little bit before you even proposed.

John [00:13:49]: Yeah, exactly.

Nicole [00:13:50]: So, you know, we don't take marriage lightly.

John [00:13:53]: Right.

Nicole [00:13:53]: Either.

John [00:13:54]: Yeah. Yeah. And just before the hypocrisy comes in. Yeah. I am divorced. And we talked about that in the. Was it like episode four, if they want to learn all the juicy details of that. But what I would say about that is you learn. This is how you learn these things. Right, Right. Through experience. And so.

Nicole [00:14:14]: Yeah, well. And you also face some of the things that, you know, we talk about our grounds for leaving a relationship. So, yeah, it's not like it was just, I'm bored, you know, but like you said, you've learned a lot, you know, in that relationship. And that's also why we're here, to help people figure it all out.

John [00:14:33]: Well, with that said, let's jump into the topic. So the topic for today is. Let me see if I can phrase it right. So how to Keep how to Get a Man, Attract a Man and Keep a Man versus Keep a Man versus Keep a man. Right.

Nicole [00:14:49]: So, yes, we actually had a long discussion about this yesterday and I was like, where's the camera? We need to be recording this. So I was like, we should maybe do this as a. Yeah.

John [00:15:01]: And I think it sparked off from the book because you're reading the Way of the Superior man by Devadata so that we could talk about it. Because it's good. You know, I've read the woman books, the Surrendered Wife and the Powered Wife. And so we want to be able to talk about some of the man books as well. And so in the book, there is a statement where he says that talking to men, you'll be attracted to teenage women or. I don't know.

Nicole [00:15:32]: Yeah, no, he said teenagers.

John [00:15:33]: Yeah, right. Which just was a whole, like a whole thing about that. I think the thing about it is that it does uncover a truth that I think a lot of women don't want to face and is somewhat of an uncomfortable truth. Right. Again, can't take it out of context. It doesn't. In no way would we ever condone doing anything with teenager as a. As a man. Right.

Nicole [00:16:05]: Or even oogling.

John [00:16:06]: Or even oogling noticeably. Yeah, anything that. That's just completely inappropriate. Right. However, the truth, the dirty truth, the unfiltered truth is that men in general are going to be attracted to primarily youth and beauty. Those are the things biologically that men are wired. And it's really easy, I think, to demonize men and say, oh, you guys are scum, I can't believe that. Or to like look at Leonardo DiCaprio. And I mean, that's pretty extreme. His is a little. But I'm just saying is that, you know, to judge in those cases. But it's a biological attraction. Right. Now, obviously, like things that are. We're not talking about young children. We're not talking about that. That's. That that is an abnormality, being attracted to young children. But to be attracted to the female form for a young. You know, youth and beauty are essentially the two things that. That men are most attracted to initially. Right. And so whereas if we flipped it women, I would say is status and power is what they're more attracted to. And so not that they don't. That there's not physical attributes. But for men, the physical initially is the most important. Right. Again, I'm just a messenger. Don't shoot the messenger. But this is biologically true.

Nicole [00:17:38]: I mean, every women know that.

John [00:17:39]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:17:40]: But they also know that it's something they can't control. But they try to with plastic surgery and all of these other things to look young. And I think though that women are kind of tired of trying to look young all the time, to be honest. And people are embracing it more to not have to like get the plastic surgeries or the Botox or the whatever. They'll do it more so like self care things like keeping their skincare routine and like things like that. I don't classify as they're trying to look super young.

John [00:18:19]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:18:20]: But there are plenty of women out there who are trying to look super young because they do know that men value that. Like they know it. But I think you're more so talking about maybe the women in their 40s who don't have the 20 year old youth that they used to have but might be still trying to pursue the men that they were in their twenties.

John [00:18:44]: I mean maybe it's more of just. I think there's a few things. I think there is one. First of all, we have to start off as what is the raw truth? Right? The raw truth. It's not meant to offend anyone, but it is just like what is the biological truth? And then we have to start to say, okay, what does that mean to you based on who you are. So if you're a young woman, what does that mean to you? If you're an older woman, what does that mean to you? Right. And then even as a man, what does that mean knowing this about yourself? Right. And so I think. Yeah, go ahead.

Nicole [00:19:17]: I want to say too really quick since I was more so Talking about the 40 year old's, you know, sort of people facing this because they know. But I do think also the 20 year olds know and to some degree and they know that they can receive benefits from being young and beautiful.

John [00:19:34]: Right.

Nicole [00:19:35]: And a lot of times they don't really develop much else because they know what value they hold and they don't have to do anything for it.

John [00:19:44]: Right.

Nicole [00:19:44]: A lot of the time.

John [00:19:45]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:19:46]: And I mean I even saw a TikTok earlier today where a young woman, attractive woman, was like, we need to stop focusing and putting our confidence solely in our looks.

John [00:19:58]: Right, right.

Nicole [00:19:59]: Which is a good thing because a lot of women in their 20s, they're like, well I'm pretty and it's fine. You know, and they are pretty, they're beautiful. But they like men aren't requiring much else from them initially.

John [00:20:15]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:20:15]: But long term men do want more than just that. Like that's what attracts them, like you said, you know, initially, like, that's in their nature.

John [00:20:23]: Right.

Nicole [00:20:23]: But then the other things that he needs comes in and so we'll obviously go over those things. But yeah, I think both sides know where they're at, if I'm being honest. Especially with like the rise of only fans and things like that. Like, you know, women are profiting off of being young and beautiful for sure, in ways that they never did before.

John [00:20:46]: Right.

Nicole [00:20:46]: Because they know that that's what men want. Like.

John [00:20:49]: Right.

Nicole [00:20:49]: They know that they don't even really have to do anything.

John [00:20:53]: Right. Exactly.

Nicole [00:20:54]: To get that.

John [00:20:55]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:20:55]: And you know, on the other side, you know, I'm not 40 yet, but I, It's. So it's harder for me to like figure those things out.

John [00:21:05]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:21:06]: But I know that, you know, maybe some of those women still have the standards that they had at 20 or they still want the 1% of men, and so they're competing with these 20 year olds and maybe that's why they feel pressured to get the plastic surgery or whatever it is that they're doing.

John [00:21:26]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:21:26]: You know, so there's a lot to unpack here.

John [00:21:29]: Yeah, yeah, there is. And also, let's start with the biological truth. First of all, like you said, with the only fans and everything. I think there's still a lot of people in denial that women that would say that age doesn't matter and that, that you know, that as an, as an older woman they have just as much that there's no, I hate to use the term the wall or what, you know, because it's a derogatory term. But, but there is a truth to the idea of the wall. The idea that when a woman hits a certain age, then her attractiveness level in the sexual marketplace to men drops off dramatically at a much faster rate than before. Right. There is that point that. That happens. Right. So that's the, that's the reality. It's not meant to hurt people's feelings. It's. I'm the messenger. You can see it in life. It proves out. Are there exceptions to it? Yes, there are exceptions to it. A lot of those exceptions are plastic surgery exceptions like Jennifer Lopez and, and things like that, where people, those are the ones that people always cite. There's some maybe that aren't. But for a majority of women, they should understand the reality that men are primarily attracted to youth and beauty and that's initially the best way to get a man. Now, again, we're not talking about the long term. We're not talking about. We Will talk about that, but get their attention.

Nicole [00:22:52]: Because I don't think you can secure a man totally not with how you look. Unless you're a sugar baby.

John [00:22:59]: Right. But, but the amount of which is having the greatest range of possibility. Right. Just like I would tell men if you have status. Right. You have the greatest range of possibility. Right. If you're a rock star, for instance, you're probably going to have more opportunities with women than you would.

Nicole [00:23:20]: No, I agree. I think the range is what it is. I just want to be clarified because that's why we're doing.

John [00:23:25]: So we got to start with that fundamental truth. Because if you try to deny that truth, you're just doing yourself a disservice. It's not going to help anyone. And again, I'm not the guy that's trying to say this to harm women or to discourage them in any way. It's just we have to start at the fundamental truth. Otherwise we can't do anything. If we, if we blow smoke up our own asses and pretend like that's not the case.

Nicole [00:23:45]: Okay.

John [00:23:45]: Well, we also.

Nicole [00:23:46]: The fundamental truth.

John [00:23:48]: Well, I think the other thing about it too is that we also cannot demonize men because that is their nature. Just like there's many things about women that we can't demonize because it's their nature. You're not going to change the biology of men of what they find attractive. Right. And so if we shame people because of that, it doesn't do us any good.

Nicole [00:24:08]: So I mean, the only inappropriate thing is underage children, Right?

John [00:24:12]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:24:13]: And I'm saying under 18.

John [00:24:15]: Right.

Nicole [00:24:15]: Like.

John [00:24:15]: Yeah, exactly.

Nicole [00:24:16]: If, if a teenager still lives out in their parents house. Yes.

John [00:24:20]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:24:21]: That's inappropriate to me.

John [00:24:22]: There's even a question of just like, you know, getting into relationships where a person is naive or don't. You know, or there's power differences that would.

Nicole [00:24:32]: Right.

John [00:24:32]: Put you at a distinct advantage where you're. Yeah.

Nicole [00:24:35]: Taking advantage of. Taking advantage of like innocence or their.

John [00:24:38]: Now some people are quick to jump on that and not. You have to. You can't just label something based on. On age. But certainly underage. Yeah, Absolutely not. No good at all. And even with that book, all it's saying is that you're gonna, you're gonna feel some kind of attraction.

Nicole [00:24:54]: Like if he means teenagers, this is an 18. 19. I don't have a problem with that. But just saying teenagers.

John [00:25:00]: No. Then you need to get some.

Nicole [00:25:02]: There are plenty of stories of guys talking to teenagers that are younger than those ages.

John [00:25:07]: Absolutely. Do not condone that's where I think it's not, not in the slightest. Don't condone that. And if it's, if you're attracted to legit children. I'm not. When we're saying children, youth and be, we're talking the female form, right. You know, develop like that's what we're talking about when we're talking about teenager in that case. But if you're attracted to children, you need to get some help.

Nicole [00:25:28]: But I mean, like, that's. Some girls though, develop very young. Like we went a few years ago and saw one of our daughter's friends and she was very fully developed at like 10 years old. So that's where like. But she still looked younger than 18, 19.

John [00:25:45]: Right.

Nicole [00:25:45]: But she was fully developed.

John [00:25:47]: Right.

Nicole [00:25:48]: In all the ways that a woman is. And so that's why it's like, it's like men should try not to just go based on a woman's body.

John [00:25:57]: Yeah. Well, I'm saying that that attraction, that biological attraction, whatever you want to call it, is going to be based off of, off of those cues. It's not something that can be prevented. But what can be prevented is obviously taking any kind of action, any kind of. And hey, and if you have an issue, avoid those situations, first of all. So as a man. But we're getting too far off of the, off of the thing. But obviously, just for the record, neither of us condone any inappropriate things with, with minors or teenagers. Yeah, exactly like that. So, yeah, definitely not so. But. But then I think that the next part is then what does a young woman gain or what should she take from this? And what is a woman who is older, what should. So, so what should a young woman know about this? Like, why is this relevant to understand this? Right. Obviously a lot of women have figured this out and they're making onlyfans accounts and taking advantage of their youth and beauty. Right? And they're making a lot of money doing that. However, is that really the best choice long term? Right. Because the thing about it is to understand if you're a young woman is that you are going to, no matter how much plastic surgery, no matter how much stuff that you do to try and stay young, eventually you will hit a point where the guys are going to pay more money for the younger only friends, girls or whatever it is, you know, you're not going to be getting the, the opportunity and selection that you have now. Right. You're not getting flying out to all different places and all that stuff. So the thing to think about, about that is a couple of things. So one of them is using your advantage while you have it, right? And so you might say, oh well, I can just be single because I have all these opportunities and this is all good, but someday you're going to be in a situation where you don't have as many opportunities. So I'm not saying lower your standards to the point of just shack up. You know, shack up is not even the word now. It's, what is it like cuff yourself. What's the word?

Nicole [00:28:06]: To, to what?

John [00:28:08]: To like be in a relationship, like tied down. Tied down. Like to tie yourself down with one man. If you're like, I'm not going to do that because I have so many options, realize that those options will diminish over time and you won't have that same event, you won't have the same quality of guy. Right? Because just like I was saying we were talking about this, is that a man that has high status, it's a high quality man that a lot of women want. He's not, when he has a lot of options, he's not going to choose an older woman when he could choose a younger woman in general.

Nicole [00:28:41]: But what if that older woman is everything he wants? She's just not 21 or 22.

John [00:28:48]: Yeah, but maybe, but why, why try to, why bet on winning the lottery?

Nicole [00:28:54]: But my thing is because it's, what if I choose a 22 year old who doesn't have everything and doesn't treat him like a king or give him everything he wants over a 36 year old who does. But she's 36.

John [00:29:12]: I mean maybe the, you know, if you get nitpicky on the age range, but maybe that guy's dating profile, his range is 20 to 25 or 20 to 30 or whatever it is like and he's so, he's never even going to see that. So I'm not saying that he wouldn't make that choice if he was dating both of those women.

Nicole [00:29:30]: Meet her at the grocery store maybe.

John [00:29:32]: But most, but a lot of guys that are going to be successful and high stats, that are going to be the ones that women want, are going to be dating the women that they want to date. And that's going to be based off of youth and beauty. So you might be the greatest gem in the, you know, a diamond in the, in the rough, but he's never going to know because he's not going to be going out on a date with you. And that's just, it's a harsh reality. But it is a reality and it's not meant to, you know, hurt anyone's feelings. But it may. But, but I'm just saying this in order to understand what's going to happen. So as a young woman, you should understand that what's in your best interest is to not be as promiscuous when you're young. Right. I'm not saying that you have to be a total 100% abstinent, but I'm saying that not be as promiscuous so that a man has to invest more. And while you're at your greatest advantage, really be looking at serious relationships as opposed to just having fun. Right. I'm not saying you can't have any fun, but I'm saying really be looking more at that because that's when you can set yourself up with the best guy, the, the best that you can get at the best time and build a relationship and a foundation for later.

Nicole [00:30:50]: I mean, I agree with those things.

John [00:30:51]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:30:52]: However, I was once a 21, 22 year old girl and granted, you and I talked about this and sure, maybe if I was the way that I am now, things would have been different, but I, I don't think they would have been genuinely very different. And I did not come across a lot of high value men in the way that you're talking about. Like, you make it sound like. No, these young attractive women are just being chased down by these really quality guys in their 20s. And if I'm being honest, that's not really what's happening. Maybe a few come along and they are and maybe, yeah, they, the women mess those things up. But maybe also too, there's things about these guys that they don't necessarily like and they. So a lot of these men who are 1% right, don't want to settle down with women either. So, yeah, you know, they're looking for them.

John [00:31:48]: Right.

Nicole [00:31:49]: But they can't even get those men even if they wanted to. Like, in a way, maybe they could. Sure. But it takes more than just looks, which we'll obviously get to too. But I just want to say that, like, it's not also as easy as you're making it seem because there are, there is a lack of quality men for sure.

John [00:32:08]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:32:08]: And a lot of the high quality men a lot of times don't want to settle down. And I'm not saying that you can't change those men's mind, but you can't with just youth and beauty alone.

John [00:32:18]: Yeah, yeah. And that we'll definitely get to because you're Right. Because that is the key is that you can't do that with youth and beauty alone.

Nicole [00:32:23]: I agree with, you know, the don't be promiscuous and you know, be serious.

John [00:32:30]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:32:31]: Because like, I think too there is definitely some, you know, pro promiscuity stuff going on.

John [00:32:41]: Yeah, there's a lot.

Nicole [00:32:42]: But at the same time I think it's kind of coming back down now and women are kind of tired of giving their bodies to men that are just using them, if I'm being honest. So. And you know, it's exhausting as a woman because a lot of times women do become intimate with a man right. At even a reasonable point of time and the man will still leave like, or still ghost her or things like that. So it's not even a lot of times women just going out and having sex. Like there are definitely women who are doing that and there are times that even a woman who's serious might do that.

John [00:33:18]: Right.

Nicole [00:33:18]: And that's not really the best way to operate. But a lot of times too though, and it's worth mentioning that these women aren't just giving it up to random people. They're. They're trying to increase the intimacy because they've been on five dates with the guy they want to, they're like, okay, I want to be boyfriend, girlfriend. And so they think, okay, well I've waited enough time, you know, he seems serious about me, I'm going to, you know, sleep with him. And then she never hears from him again.

John [00:33:50]: Yeah. And, and that, and that happens. And that you can't be really faulted in those circumstances. But a lot of the one eyed sands, a lot of the promiscuity that that happens or just the promoting of it, then that's, that's where you're kind of hurting yourself. Right?

Nicole [00:34:08]: Well, yeah, I agree with you. And I want to say another reason to not be promiscuous as a woman, especially as a young woman, is that it will make men have to step up and invest and do more to court you if you just give them what they want, which is sex right away or even unfortunately five dates in without really feeling like he's invested something first. And even then you might still get screwed over. But we should be protecting our bodies.

John [00:34:41]: Exactly.

Nicole [00:34:42]: Our sexual expression for people that we are very serious about and we have felt that they are serious about us. Again, a man can still manipulate you into thinking he cares about you and still do those things, but you also shouldn't feel bad about those instances. If you genuinely have tried to figure out is he really invested, given an enough amount of time. And he still did that to you. Because at that point, it's not on you, it's on that man for manipulating you.

John [00:35:09]: Yeah. And, and look, and I say this as someone who was a dating coach for men, pickup coach, teaching guys how to pick up women and, and sleep with them on from a nightclub or whatever. And so I'm giving women the hidden tech, right, the secrets, because I, because I know this, I know that men are going to try and do this, that men will pay me a lot of money to help them to be able to do this. But it's not in the best interest of a woman that's looking to have a long term future and to have a more successful life. Right. So it's like, you know, it depends on which side am I on. Right? You know, I know that sounds weird to say that, but there's, there's, and there's supposed to be this. There's two conflicting things that are happening. That's what creates the sexual tension, that's what creates attention, is that the man is trying to sleep with the woman soon as possible. The woman is trying to find a quality man and prevent him from getting what he wants long enough for him to commit and to put an investment in. And both sides have to. Men can't just lay down and be like, no, I'm going to not sleep with women. That's bad. It's wrong. John. We're going to just be a respectful gentleman. If they do that, then the battle will go, they'll just get knocked over. So, so the men have to be trying to do it and the women have to actively be defending against it. And then the best men that get through the defenses are hopefully going to be the more quality ones because the women are good at vetting them. Right. And that's how it should work. And that's what creates. So that dynamic has to remain so. It might seem a little hypocritical and I get that, you know, but.

Nicole [00:36:51]: No, I appreciate that. But both sides have to exist telling the truth to women because not a lot of men would because obviously men want to benefit from going home with a woman on the first night.

John [00:37:02]: Well, and that's what I was going to say is most guys that teach guys how to pick up women or dating coaching, they will tell the opposite of what I'm saying. They'll say, oh yeah, it's fine. Like women should just, they love women's liberation. And, and, and, and you know, in Places where, where women are promiscuous in sexuality because.

Nicole [00:37:21]: Yeah, but then they don't want to marry any of those women. And so. No, like for the guy who never wants to settle down, who low key does want to settle down.

John [00:37:30]: Right.

Nicole [00:37:30]: No matter what he says.

John [00:37:31]: Yeah. Those guys are going to Sweden to pick up women and then they're trying to go to Philippines to marry them. Right.

Nicole [00:37:39]: Well, so that's.

John [00:37:39]: Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Nicole [00:37:41]: I've had conversations with men that are like, oh, I don't. I'm not interested in a woman if I sleep with her on the first date. And I'm like, well, did you try to sleep with her? And he's like, oh, yeah, of course. I'm like, that's so hypocritical. But.

John [00:37:54]: Yeah, but it is. But when you understand that.

Nicole [00:37:56]: No, that's why though, that you're right.

John [00:37:59]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:37:59]: And that's why you have like, women should be listening to what we're saying. And even if he fools you, that's not on you. If you properly.

John [00:38:09]: Exactly.

Nicole [00:38:09]: Wait the appropriate amount of time. Yeah, but. And so like go buy something to take care of yourself until you find the right man.

John [00:38:16]: And I'm not as trying to slut shame anyone here. It's not the point. I'm just talking from a strategic. As a young woman, these are some advice that I would give you that is going to help you in life. It's not to like shame you because you're bad or wrong. That's not what this is about. This is strategy for you, but it's going to help you in your life. Right. And so which brings us to the second part for young women, which is how to keep a man. Because here's the thing, there's a little bit of a trade off. Well, okay, so one last thing about the promiscuity part, because I think this is important because a lot of guys will say this and they'll say it in a negative way. I'll say it in a more positive way. But there's some truth to it because a lot of guys will say, why would I want this woman now? She just gave herself to all these men when she was at her peak, you know, at her prime, and now she's like in her 30s or whatever. And now she wants to settle down because she can't do that anymore. And so now she's giving me leftovers. That's what a lot of guys. That's the negative viewpoint of it.

Nicole [00:39:14]: But that's not even what's actually happening a lot of the times. What's actually happening a lot of the times is she's been actively trying to find a man who for her entire twenties.

John [00:39:22]: Right.

Nicole [00:39:23]: Been screwed over by a majority of them.

John [00:39:25]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:39:26]: And then finally might find him later on.

John [00:39:29]: But some women, that's not the case. Some women are just partying, having fun in their 20s while they can, getting flown out all over the place. And then now they get a little older, they don't have that same power that they did, and now they're settling. A man feels like he's settled for. So what I'm saying is that, again, that was the negative way of saying it, but there's some truth behind it. The truth behind it is image. Right. Is that you don't want it to appear to your future husband that you had fun with all these other guys when you were young and. And at your peak. And now that you're not at your peak, that you're. You've got this guy. And now. Now those days are done.

Nicole [00:40:07]: Well, you should be having fun with your husband.

John [00:40:09]: Right, Right. So what. What I'm saying is that he doesn't want to. You. You want to feel like to some degree you've preserved yourself for him. Right. That's like. That's, you know, just from an image standpoint. Again, I'm not saying.

Nicole [00:40:21]: I also feel like men should try to preserve themselves a little bit better. Like.

John [00:40:25]: I know. Yeah. A little bit better, for sure. Yeah.

Nicole [00:40:27]: Their biology, and I know that that's what they're trying to do, but they also don't need to be having sex every other night.

John [00:40:37]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:40:37]: With different women.

John [00:40:38]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:40:39]: And plus two, that's also. Or porn.

John [00:40:42]: Right. Exactly.

Nicole [00:40:42]: These things also contribute to then finding a woman.

John [00:40:46]: Right.

Nicole [00:40:46]: And becoming unhappy with her.

John [00:40:48]: Exactly.

Nicole [00:40:48]: So if we're being real here right now, men should also be less promiscuous. And I'm not saying that they have to be the same amount as women.

John [00:40:57]: Right.

Nicole [00:40:58]: But I've heard some. I used to have guy friends when I was single, and I've heard some disgusting numbers and things come out of their mouth.

John [00:41:06]: A lot of it's made up, too.

Nicole [00:41:08]: I'm sure a lot of it is. But also at the same time, it's not.

John [00:41:11]: Yeah, but. But the thing about that, too, is that you got to think about what's attractive to you as a woman in a man is a man that has standards. Right. If. If a man will sleep with any woman, he becomes less attractive.

Nicole [00:41:25]: Oh, for sure.

John [00:41:26]: If a man has success with Women, but they're, but they're quality women. He has standards. That makes him more attractive. Not numbers. Right. In fact, numbers is going to. Going to hurt you as a man if that's because people are going to assume your quality must be low. But that's, that's kind of besides the point that. But you, you make a good point in, in that a man should also be somewhat conscious of this. It's not, it's not judged by the same ruler. That's true. And it, it might seem like a double standard, but there's differences between men and women in the value.

Nicole [00:41:56]: Well, it brings your value down as a man in my opinion. If like you said, you don't have standards.

John [00:42:01]: Right.

Nicole [00:42:02]: Like you could be Jeff Bezos and if you're just slinging that thing around.

John [00:42:07]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:42:08]: You're no better than the Pizza Hut delivery guy.

John [00:42:10]: I would say that, that women, because I think a lot of guys get this confused and I had at one point is that sleeping with a lot of women does not make a man more attractive. Men think that is the case because women are attracted to men who have slept with a lot of women potentially. But what's attractive about it is that, is that a men. That a man could. It's that women would want to.

Nicole [00:42:35]: Women are attracted to men who attract women, not sleep with all the women who attract the women.

John [00:42:41]: So if you're a man who a lot of women want to sleep with you. Right. Because of how you are, because your status, because you can spit some fire game, you know what I mean? But you don't because you have a higher standard that actually makes you more attractive.

Nicole [00:42:57]: Right. And you know why? Because that also shows that you have willpower.

John [00:43:01]: Right.

Nicole [00:43:02]: And that you're a strong man. Because if you fight the urge, right. The deepest urge that men have, which is to have sex.

John [00:43:09]: Right.

Nicole [00:43:09]: And you don't sleep with just everybody.

John [00:43:11]: Right.

Nicole [00:43:12]: You're already a more quality man for having that willpower.

John [00:43:17]: Sure. Exactly.

Nicole [00:43:18]: Than even a man that is making more money or has more status.

John [00:43:21]: Yeah. The most unattractive trait in men is sexual desperation. That's true. Right. That's why when we want to denigrate a man, we call him a simp. Because that's the most. That makes him the most unattractive that he could possibly be in women's eyes is if he has sexual desperation. And that's why we use that. Right. That's why women are attacked on their looks and men are attacked on their status or their sexual desperation. But we're getting well, we're getting off.

Nicole [00:43:50]: I was gonna say maybe we should make the Next1 Part 2. Since we've gone, I feel like it's good we've gone deep into this, so maybe we can do the other side of, like, the older ladies in the next episode.

John [00:44:02]: Yeah, that's good. Okay. Yeah, let's do that. Okay.

Nicole [00:44:04]: Because there are a lot of important things here, and there's a lot of layers, and that's why, too. When we were talking about this yesterday, I was like, we need to do an episode on this. Because a lot of men are just like, men want young women, period. And that's why women have gone. The older women are doing the plastic surgeries, and then the younger women are benefiting from just being beautiful. And we haven't even talked about what the younger women exactly need to do to keep a man.

John [00:44:29]: And I'm trying to handle it carefully because I don't want to offend people for the sake of offending people. I know that what I'm saying, regardless of how I say it, is going to offend some people. And that's okay, because the greater good is getting the correct information out that's gonna benefit people. And I know that we can do in the next episode for the women that are older, because life's not over, and I'm not trying to hurt your feelings. We'll have some good advice for you as well. But we do have to start at the truth. So getting back to the younger women and how do you keep a man? So this kind of comes down to kind of what we were talking about the other day, too, is that if you were just young and hot, a lot of men will want to sleep with you. A lot of men will spend money on you and fly you out to places. Okay. They're not bringing you home to Mom. That's not what they're doing. Right.

Nicole [00:45:24]: Or even wifing you up.

John [00:45:26]: Right. Which is. Yeah. Which is. Yeah. Which is what I'm saying. Yeah. They're not doing that. Right. Because they think less of you, actually, because you're promiscuous. Because you're. They can fly you out and, like, they can buy you. Right.

Nicole [00:45:41]: Well, it's exactly what I just said about the guy who was like, I won't even date a girl that I've slept with on the first day.

John [00:45:48]: I don't agree with that. But it's. But I get.

Nicole [00:45:50]: Yeah, but it's the same.

John [00:45:51]: Yeah, it's the same. It's the mindset. It's the mindset. Right.

Nicole [00:45:54]: It's like, I want to get this, but if you give it to me, I'm gonna think less of you. Like, that's the same thing.

John [00:45:58]: But like, everyone has that mindset. If something is easily gotten, we assume it's of low value. That's. I mean, everyone has that mindset. You know what I mean?

Nicole [00:46:09]: I mean, if I got a cookie for free and it tasted good, I'd be like, this is just a good cookie.

John [00:46:17]: In general. Something that's a high value. Right?

Nicole [00:46:20]: No, so I just want a cookie right now.

John [00:46:23]: Yeah, you want one of those. American cookie company.

Nicole [00:46:27]: Don't even talk about that.

John [00:46:30]: But. But yeah, so. Okay, so. So what I was saying is that as a woman too, because we were talking about this, is that if you have some of the feminine characteristics, like we were talking specifically in your case, you're like, oh, well, no good man came around. And I, and I get that. But. But if you were. Had more of the feminine characteristics that you have now, you probably would have attracted more of those kinds of men because you attract what you put out, right? And so if you're a woman who is more promiscuous, who's always going out to nightclubs and, and flying out to wherever, you're going to attract those kind of guys. You're not going to attract the guy that is very high quality, or you might attract him just for a night. He's going to see you in a different light. He sees you as something to use instead of someone to actually date seriously. And so how you take yourself seriously will determine. And then that brings us into the qualities. Right? So it's not enough to just be hot and young. As a woman. You, especially when you're young, you need to be developing the qualities of being feminine, of. Of having some substance behind you that's going to engage a man in a conversation.

Nicole [00:47:42]: You can't rely strictly on how you look because that's the thing here too. We're all going to get older, right? Like, and it is a hard pillow to swallow because when we were talking about it, we can't control that, right? Yeah, we can't control that at all. And it is hard as a woman to hear that your value goes down when you reach a certain age.

John [00:48:03]: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

Nicole [00:48:05]: So the thing is that you do have to have substance because, yes, looks will get a guy to look at you and maybe approach you.

John [00:48:16]: Right.

Nicole [00:48:16]: But the things that come out of your mouth and who you are as a person keeps him around, which is what we're talking About. But women, young women rely way too heavily on just being young and beautiful or making themselves as beautiful as they can while they're young and thinking, well, I'm hot so I don't have to do anything else. Or like, men will just fawn over me and they will.

John [00:48:38]: Right.

Nicole [00:48:39]: But if you want a good man and you want a good relationship, you have to have more to you than those things because you'll only attract the superficial relationship if you're just focusing on the superficial.

John [00:48:55]: Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The things are important, like I said, for the attraction to have the selection. But then, you know, because a man is going to say to any woman that he would seriously date or wife up, what value does she add to my life? It's not the same as what did you bring to the table? That's a bad question. But internally he should be asking, what value? Like, why is my life better? Because I'm with this woman and if there's, if it's because she's hot and young and I can have sex with her, that's not a really good reason because there's a lot of those, right? So it's like, well, why would I need to have her stay in my life? Right.

Nicole [00:49:30]: Well, that's why a lot of men.

John [00:49:31]: Don'T settle, because that's replaceable. Yeah, young and hot is replaceable, right. I mean, there's always going to be young and hot. Every, every day there's a new batch of young and.

Nicole [00:49:39]: But substance is not. But yeah, as a person is not.

John [00:49:42]: And so if you've worked on other qualities and attributes and especially like I said, being more feminine, which is rare for men to find because that's what men complain about today is that women are so masculine. Women act like this, they don't need a man, they're so feminist and all these things. But if you can be that you're gonna have, you're gonna get a lot further with a guy wanting to commit to you, a higher quality guy, because that's what he's looking for.

Nicole [00:50:11]: But how do you be feminine with 50, 50 men? And there's a huge majority not talking about the 1% because they do tend to be more traditional by having standards.

John [00:50:21]: But by saying like, because look, here's the thing, okay, No, I agree about having iPhones are pretty expensive, right? Like I could buy a cheap Android phone for like 200 bucks, right? But iPhone, what's the price now? It's like 900, $1200, something like that. If I go into Apple Store and I'M like, now I could get this, this Android phone for 200. How about you give me that for 500? They're just going to laugh at you. They're like, no, this is the price. You can't negotiate the price of an iPhone, not one cent. They won't come down one cent. Right. I'm pretty sure if I go into, I'm pretty sure I can negotiate an Android phone down some, some, some numbers. Right. You know, depending on where I buy it from. But the iPhone, not one cent. If you say just one penny off, they're not going to give you one penny off. Not even one penny off.

Nicole [00:51:09]: So have you tried this?

John [00:51:10]: No, but you just said, I will if you want me to. I will, I will if you want me to. But I've definitely been in arguments with Apple reps about things, so.

Nicole [00:51:20]: About a penny.

John [00:51:20]: Yeah. When not a penny. But, but my point is, is that that's why it's so coveted and considered high value, because it does not lower the price.

Nicole [00:51:29]: No.

John [00:51:30]: And so as a woman, if you're dealing with 50, 50 men and you're like, look, I'm not, I have standards. Like, I'm a lady, I'm classy. If you want to take me out, you got to be willing to take me out and treat me like a lady. Right? Like, if you have that standard, then, hey, then what's going to happen is some of those 50, 50 men, they're going to be 50, 50 with other women. They're not going to be 50, 50 with you because they're going to be like, yeah, I could get the Android phone, but I really want this iPhone. It looks a lot better. It's a lot more quality. Yeah, I'll pay them more money for that. That's how it is. It's what you, you train people how to teach you. So what standard you set for yourself. That's why also the promiscuity ties into it as well.

Nicole [00:52:13]: No, I agree.

John [00:52:14]: If you've begotten for a cheap price, you're going to be gotten for a cheap price.

Nicole [00:52:17]: Well, the standards are the most important thing, but you have to have substance before you have standards because you're not bringing anything of value besides your youth and your beauty. And that's not enough as we've, like, made it well known. So you have to establish substance, figure out who you are.

John [00:52:35]: Right.

Nicole [00:52:36]: You know, try to be as feminine as possible. It is hard when you're a single woman to be uber feminine, but, you know, have those feminine qualities. But also, I Used to tell my friends when I went out that I wouldn't even accept a drink from a guy that I wouldn't even be kind of remotely interested in because I don't want things.

John [00:52:58]: Right.

Nicole [00:52:58]: From men.

John [00:52:59]: Right.

Nicole [00:52:59]: That I don't have any interest in because that seems very shallow and, like, greedy. I don't know what word to describe.

John [00:53:08]: You're still being bought in that case.

Nicole [00:53:10]: Right. Exactly. And it's like, I don't want a free thing just because it's free. But plenty of friends that I had would be like, no, take the drink. You know, he's offering. And like, sure, like someone's offering you something. It's a gift, whatever. But also, at the same time, I don't feel good about myself. Myself. If I took something from somebody that I know I have no intention of talking to, I'm not interested in. I don't even want to be friends with you. Like, you know, you're just some random guy at a bar. Like, yes, that's nice. I'd say thank you, but no, no, thank you. You know, like, I'm not interested.

John [00:53:42]: But that's your character.

Nicole [00:53:44]: But you should. You should have those standards. Even in those instances of free stuff, like, don't go on a trip with a guy you're not interested in, or take things from a guy you're not interested in. Or.

John [00:53:53]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:53:54]: You know, even if they're offering it to you and they're like, no, no, no, I swear, like, you don't even have to talk to me. That's even more sad, to be honest.

John [00:54:00]: Right?

Nicole [00:54:00]: Like, when a guy's like, no, you don't even have to continue to talk to me. It's like, just. Yeah, just have the standards.

John [00:54:07]: Tell the man you're better than that.

Nicole [00:54:08]: Right? No, I would.

John [00:54:10]: Like, yeah, like, you better than that. Like, no, there's a.

Nicole [00:54:12]: You go save your money for a girl that's gonna hang out with you for the rest.

John [00:54:16]: You're a good guy. Don't. Don't treat yourself like that.

Nicole [00:54:18]: No, that's exactly how I would be.

John [00:54:20]: But that's. But see, and that's having character. And then here's the thing is, like, because people see things, they're subtle cues, right? You get a drink from a guy, you're not interested at the bar. A guy that you are interested in, that's a higher quality, man. He sees you with the drink. You know what I mean? Or he sees that interaction. This guy bought you a drink. You're not talking to him. Okay? So that's A signal. Right. Okay. This woman just gonna take drinks from guys. Like, it's a character. It might be a subconscious thing. Or, hey, you go and some guy flies you out and you're not interested in him. And then you have some pictures on your Instagram from your trip to France. And some guy that you are interested in says, oh, when did you go to France? And she's like, oh, yeah, some guy. It wasn't. I didn't really like him or anything. I was like, okay, that.

Nicole [00:55:04]: Yeah.

John [00:55:04]: It's like, so you're boss.

Nicole [00:55:06]: She's being honest. But.

John [00:55:07]: But you're being bought. You're being bought. Like, you might not even if you didn't have sex with them, you're still being bought because your. Your character, your integrity was compromised.

Nicole [00:55:15]: Well, because you're doing something with someone that you don't even like, or you're only doing it to benefit yourself.

John [00:55:21]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:55:22]: So, like, that. That impacts your character, like you said. And you should. If you have standards, you should maintain those no matter where you are. It doesn't matter if you're on a date. Doesn't matter if you're at the club. Doesn't matter if you're at the grocery store.

John [00:55:34]: Right.

Nicole [00:55:35]: Like, you should have the standards that you have. And you shouldn't be giving, like, taking from people that you're, you know, that you wouldn't talk to anymore or that you're not genuinely interested in. I'm not saying that if you see a guy and, you know, maybe he physically isn't what you'd be interested in, but the way he approached you and he had some good game and he was like, let me buy your drink or something. Yeah, yeah, that's that. He now persuaded you because you're like, oh, his charm and, like, how he handles himself is making him more attractive. I'm not saying you can't do that, but if you're just taking things from people, from men, right. Because they're giving them to you because you're young and beautiful, you're just as much the problem as these guys just giving you things that you didn't earn. So have the standards. Especially if you're looking for a relationship, you need to have the standards.

John [00:56:29]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:56:29]: You need to learn what you do, and you don't want what you will, and you won't tolerate all of those things. And that's why a lot of people say, you know, oh, you need to be by yourself and on your own before you're in a relationship. It's because a lot of these Women, these young women haven't even really discovered or developed these things about themselves.

John [00:56:49]: Right.

Nicole [00:56:50]: And luckily there is more content, like I said.

John [00:56:53]: Yeah.

Nicole [00:56:53]: You know, empowering women to be more than just how they look. And I think that's a good thing because I think when we didn't have that, it was a lot. And it still is. You know, a lot of women who are just young and beautiful and they're just doing whatever they want and they don't have to develop who they are until they're older. And then like you said, they might have missed out on having a better quality man when they were younger because they were just lollygagging and yeah. Didn't develop themselves. Like, you don't have to be perfect.

John [00:57:26]: I don't know.

Nicole [00:57:27]: What I always try to stress to women is that if you're dating correctly, you will also develop yourself as a person. You'll develop your standards, you'll develop, you know, how you want to treat people because of how you want to be treated back.

John [00:57:42]: Right.

Nicole [00:57:42]: And all of those things, like if you're dating correctly and interacting with people, you should be learning things about yourself, about what you want in a partner and about, you know, just life in general. Like it's all a learning experience and embrace who you are. Like the quirky things about you you can use in your favor in the right way. Because there are a ton of beautiful women. There are a ton of young, beautiful women.

John [00:58:10]: Right.

Nicole [00:58:11]: But what makes you stand out amongst those women? Or even sometimes a man chooses you over, like, even if you're not the most beautiful or young, a man chooses you over those things because of what we're talking about. The substance.

John [00:58:25]: Exactly.

Nicole [00:58:26]: And the, the irreplaceableness of being you.

John [00:58:31]: Because young and hot is easily replaceable.

Nicole [00:58:33]: Right. Like you said, there's a new crop coming in, new bus coming every 15 minutes.

John [00:58:37]: Yeah. So you always tell the guys, be like, we just keep getting older, but the 18 year olds just keep on staying the Same or the 20 year olds keep on saying the same or whatever. So.

Nicole [00:58:46]: Oh my gosh.

John [00:58:47]: But, but, but I mean, but it's true. But that's how the guys think, right? It's like I'm, I'm giving you the, the secret tech, you know, like this is really the behind the scenes. But that brings us to like the third part for, for young women, right. The advice to them which is really like keeping the man for the long term. Because now based on this truth, any, any, any woman has to fear, well, what happens if I do Marry a man and get locked down with him. And then I get older, because I'm going to get older and they're still young and hot and, and, you know, and so I'm going to get in my 30s and my 40s and my 50s, right? Isn't he just going to go for, especially if he's a high quality man, just go for the, the younger and, and the answer to that is sort of the, almost the reverse of that. The question of what do you bring to the table? Or the real question, which is, what do you bring to the marriage? Like, are you, you know, are you going to be a good wife? Right? And so as a young woman, you should be thinking about those qualities. Like, what are the qualities that make you a good wife to a man where you can create a kind of deep enough level of attraction with him and intimacy and bonding where it transcends the physical, where he can't see you as anything but beautiful no matter what your age is. Because we were talking about this the other day, is that men are fiercely loyal creatures in the right circumstance, right? So it's like, meaning that as a man, right, the bro code is like, if you do me right, I will do you, right? Like, I, I will not like you. I, you can count on me, man. Like, I'll take a bullet for you if you do me, right, like, if you know what I mean. If you're my bro, I got you, right? But if you're not, I'm not gonna be loyal to you. Fuck you, right? Like, that's how it is as the man code, right? So again, I'm not saying there's not exceptions. I'm not saying that it's not possible that a man could cheat or that you could ever have anything absolutely guaranteed in life. But what I'm saying is that the best way to guarantee that a man is going to continue to choose you every single year is to actually know how to please the man. Which, it sounds bad when I say it, but it doesn't sound bad when you say, as a man, you should know how to please a woman. But for some reason in our vocabulary, how to please a man has gotten such a bad rap. But you need to understand, I'm not just talking sexual, I'm talking about respecting him. I'm talking about being feminine in the relationship, allowing him to lead. Yes, the sexual part of it too, right? Making him feel that you sexually, continually, sexually desire him. That you, you know, that you care about his, his needs in that area and the emotional support Right. We did an episode about how women sometimes don't care about a guy's emotions. And you know, that. That. That burns a guy. There's so many guys that are burned by that, that have grudges that they'll hold on for 40 years and just like. And you get them to open up about that, and they will have a, you know, so many things to say about it. And so it's like, as a young woman, if you can cultivate that kind of bond where you activate that man's loyalty, then you don't have to worry about getting older. You don't have to worry because. And that's why it's so critical to do it then, is because then you're going to secure yourself forever. You don't have to worry about those things. But if you're not, then why would he not pick something younger and hotter or whatever? Like, why wouldn't he? Right? Because if he's got the option, he has to really feel like you provide something and created a bond and activate that loyalty in him. That, you know that, like, our relationship, like, I would never. Like, no matter what, I can never see you as anything but the most radiant, beautiful woman in the entire universe. Like, no matter how old you get, I will always see that because I see, like, your inner beauty, the connection that we have. Your soul, it radiates out to you. It infects my eyes such that I can't see.

Nicole [01:03:02]: My eyes are up here.

John [01:03:03]: I'm looking at your soul. Okay.

Nicole [01:03:05]: Okay.

John [01:03:06]: That's what I'm trying. I'm actually literally trying. Yeah, but, but, but. But I know that, and I know it beyond a shadow of a doubt. Right? And. And I will be fiercely loyal to you no matter what, because I look forward to seeing what you're going to look like when you're older and being old together and those things. Because you have done that in me. Like. Like, there's no question in my mind. I'm not even. You know. You know, it's. It's hard to describe, but I think that women can do that. They don't focus on that, and no one teaches them how.

Nicole [01:03:41]: Yeah, I agree with you. However, we don't really have enough time for me to give my full opinion on this, so I think we should end this one and then. And then start the other one.

John [01:03:54]: Like a cliffhanger.

Nicole [01:03:54]: My opinion. Cliffhanger.

John [01:03:56]: Okay. Sounds good. All right.

Nicole [01:03:59]: I guess we'll see you at the next week part.

John [01:04:01]: Yeah. Part two. Through every fault, we find our way.